overwhelmed with new job and moving out of home

[Georgie123]

So at the start of this year I moved out of home and am now living 6hr away. I am currently living by myself. I had moved to start a new job and career after finishing uni. I really struggled at the start. I just felt so overwhelmed. I struggled to balance my new job, all of the household chores, finding new friends and looking after myself. I had never felt more alone. I would cry myself to sleep every night and wasn't getting much sleep I just wanted to give up and move back home. I felt too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it at the time. I thought if I said anything out loud I would be a failure. It started to effect me at work and my boss had noticed and a few co-workers. I was offered support but I said that I didn't need it.

Then COVID happened and I started to feel even more alone and isolated.

Then I met a boy and got into a relationship and thing were really good for a little while. He has introduced me to his friends and I was apart of their social circle. I had someone I could count on and who would be there for me. He had really helped support me when I couldn't travel home to see my family during lockdown. I felt like I was getting a grip on life.

Anyway it slowly become apparent that he had some drug/alcohol and gambling problems but did not want to get any help. We stared to fight and we have had some very big fights recently and have broken up. Which was probably for the best

Now I feel like I am back to square one. In a new town so far away from anyone I know and all alone. I just miss my mum so much but i'm too embarrassed to tell her. I just want to move back home so badly but I will be such a failure for it. My work has been very busy and I have made a few big mistakes recently. But I do really enjoy my work when I have a reasonable workload for the day and alot my co-workers are feeling the same way (union has been involved for some time). I'm really just feeling so lost right now. I've wasted a whole year and haven't achieved anything.

[Croix]

Dear Georgie123~

Welcome here to the Support Forum, I think it was a good idea you came as you may be able to talk to others and gain a slightly different perspective on this last year.

I would not agree with you it was a waste - not at all. You have a uni degree and that tends to show intelligence, capability and endurance- all highly important. You are a capable person and have the ability to learn -about yourself as well as uni subjects..

Now, you bit off an awful lot to chew when, straight out of uni you left the supportive environment you were used to, from family to where the local petrol station was.

You moved into a strange and unfamiliar environment where you basically had to set up house from scratch unassisted.

You started a new job that was taxing, maybe you first experience in the serious employment arena, and found it hard when put together wiht everything else in your life. Although this was noticeable to others who offered support you tried to sort it out for yourself.

Then there was an interlude where you found a person you became attached to and entered into his life. Sadly although things had seemed to be getting pretty good you found gambling, drugs and alcohol were affecting him and in the end your relationship finished due to this. Unfortunatly with that the social life you had built up in his world came to an end.

Now another factor has entered, your work is not a happy environment, and I suspect due to being overloaded you have not performed as well as you would like. It is worth pointing out that your co-workers are finding the same and trying to take action.

I guess true, you feel alone, and that your old home and family seems terribly attractive right now.

There is one thread that runs through this - apart from it being perhaps a little too ambitious for change at the start - that you have not accepted help, perhaps partly from embarrassment, and partly as you might be thought a failure.

May I suggest you do accept whatever support you can, it makes the world of difference, and being able to speak frankly not only shares the load but gives opportunities for others to contribute ideas.

With more than one of you -family or friend from the past perhaps - it will be easier to face the problems you have and deal with them. You even may find someone from your workplace you enjoy being with.

So what do you think? .

Croix