Young people

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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

All discussions

Ash_VM I don't understand part-time jobs.
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I recently graduated from Year 12 (I'm 19, with Autism) this year but I really don't have anything to do besides studying for learners (which I really don't care about; topic for another day), playing games and YouTube. But recently, thinking... View more

Hi all, I recently graduated from Year 12 (I'm 19, with Autism) this year but I really don't have anything to do besides studying for learners (which I really don't care about; topic for another day), playing games and YouTube. But recently, thinking about part time jobs and job-hunting in particular has really made me mad for several reasons. Part time jobs are crazy hard to get, due to how companies wanting younger employees so that they are paid cheaper. I tried finding part time when I was 17-18 but none were successful (ie. applying for maccas in 4 locations, 3 times. All of them turned me down) Most of these part-times are either Retail or Hospitality/Labour jobs which aren't my sort of thing, very little variation in terms of industry topics I worked casual at a Labour meat produce back in December 2019 for a month and while I didn't have any issues with other co-workers (pay was good), it really burned me out due to how fast-paced and intensive it was ( I did do work experience at a retailer and it was fine.) The companies that I applied for, didn't give me any useful constructive criticism on how to improve my resume, CV and cover letters, leaving me feel useless, because I didn't understand what I did wrong or what I need to improve on. Other people that are around my age are able to have part-time jobs no problem, while I feel isolated and out of touch. Payment depending on shift hours, is questionable, as people get older, they tend to get less working hours and pay due to their age. Employers want resumes and CVs, short and concise, making it hard to relate my skills to a particular company's interest Thinking about jobs in general has made me infuriated with the world because of the reasons above. I used to have a slightly optimistic mind about finding part-time back in 2018-2019, but at this point, why should I sacrifice my time trying to find employment if companies don't give me direct feedback, work types that have little to no variation, mediocre payment and shift hours? At this point, I gave up looking for part-time because it wasn't worth the effort for such a generic job. Why would I work and learn something that I have no interest in whatsoever, even if those skills were "useful" to me? Have I gone insane? Or am I just a laughing stock to those who are able to get part-time jobs? Is it okay for me to have such malicious thoughts about part-time employment?

Historyfan01 Anxiety about birthday soon
  • replies: 5

I turn 25 in April and am feeling scared I feel like time is slipping away and my youth is gone Another big factor of why I feel anxiety growing up is I fear medical conditions could arise for me, meaning I can't do my favourite hobbies anymore. Like... View more

I turn 25 in April and am feeling scared I feel like time is slipping away and my youth is gone Another big factor of why I feel anxiety growing up is I fear medical conditions could arise for me, meaning I can't do my favourite hobbies anymore. Like what if I get a condition that prevents me from holding the controller to play a video game or my eyes start to fail and I can't read my books anymore or I get a condition that makes it hard for me to paint. I can probably learn to not worry about being laughed at if I'm in my 40s, 50s, 60s heck even 70s playing video games and other "nerdy" actitives but the thought of physically not being able to really stresses me out and kinda upsets me. That's why I worry about growing older is that time may be closing on me. And I know some may say 25 is a young age but the nightmare of being without the things I love and adore. I love video games cause they inspire me to paint and I love painting cause I feel energised doing it Sorry to sound silly, I just find the thoughts hard

jorj_kate Feeling joyless in a wonderful marriage
  • replies: 3

I'm married to a wonderful husband who I've been with for 5 years. He is patient, kind, understanding and funny. He has seen me through my absolute worst and my best. I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression and started medication again. For the mos... View more

I'm married to a wonderful husband who I've been with for 5 years. He is patient, kind, understanding and funny. He has seen me through my absolute worst and my best. I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression and started medication again. For the most part (before and during medication) I have just felt joyless and out of love. My husband makes me feel comfort when I'm overwhelmed, having a panic attacks etc. I do love him, though I'm just feeling really odd about not having any romantic feelings towards him. He is the best and I can't imagine being with anyone else, I just worry that I am numb towards feelings of romance and joy and have talked to him about it. He can't do anything, it's an issue with me. Just wondering if anyone else has had any feelings or experiences like this in their relationship and if it has gotten better?

Deltius All friends gone, hopeless, failed again.
  • replies: 4

Hello, I Unfortunately, over the last week have lost all my friends, being accused of sexually assaulting someone, lashed out at a friend and her parent due to others warping my thoughts into thinking my friend was having sex my brother and have had ... View more

Hello, I Unfortunately, over the last week have lost all my friends, being accused of sexually assaulting someone, lashed out at a friend and her parent due to others warping my thoughts into thinking my friend was having sex my brother and have had all progress reset, I am in debt, don't eat properly, constantly feel like throwing up and have had wellfare checks and been to the ER a couple times. Help?

JSP I don't know how to find someone.
  • replies: 7

I am 25 and due to my mental health, I lost about 10 years of my life from the time I was 14. I didn't even start to climb out of that hole until I was 23. I was taking smaller steps initially and have been making much larger ones now, but one area w... View more

I am 25 and due to my mental health, I lost about 10 years of my life from the time I was 14. I didn't even start to climb out of that hole until I was 23. I was taking smaller steps initially and have been making much larger ones now, but one area where I can't seem to make any progress is finding a romantic partner. In my 10 years of solitude, I feel I essentially missed out on developing the skills necessary to navigate the dating world, communicate my value, and be flexible while maintaining my values. To be charming and interesting. To be intellectual, but physical. Now, I am 25 and so touch and affection-starved that I can't take the pain of loneliness anymore. Going out into the world, to the beach, bars, etc, and seeing everyone there with their partners is excruciating. My friend told me yesterday about a girl he hooked up with and I had chest pain for 4 hours afterwards because I can't even fathom how people accomplish that. I literally do not know, cannot imagine, the combination of words and actions that would lead to that. A hookup is not even what I'm looking for, but it would be something. I am either on, or have tried just about every dating app out there, and on the rare occasion that I get a match, it hasn't gone past 5 messages (hence I don't know how to communicate my value). I try meetups and singles groups, but there seems to be so few people my age, and I can't stop myself from thinking it is because they are normal and don't need them whereas I unfortunately do. I feel so unlike the bulk of my generation. I don't know where my people are. I'm getting really tired.

Tomyy I want nothing to do with father
  • replies: 4

My father is an extremely toxic person. I am 21 and he still wants to control every aspect of my life. He is always unhappy with me. Recently he thinks I am doing drugs ( I am not and he thinks this cause he heard rumours that my friend does, but my ... View more

My father is an extremely toxic person. I am 21 and he still wants to control every aspect of my life. He is always unhappy with me. Recently he thinks I am doing drugs ( I am not and he thinks this cause he heard rumours that my friend does, but my friend does not). My mum knows I can never consume any drugs and I myself know I can never as I work at a big 4 consulting firm, and I am studying law. Even though I explained to him (the above) , he still does not believe me and is moody. This has happened before numerous times and I am about to lose it soon cause he just believes stupid rumours even though I assured him they are false. I have his name as my middle name and I really want to remove it because I’m starting to hate him. He says he is protecting me, but I am 21. I would never in my life consume a drug, and it’s sad to believe that he thinks I would. I reassured him it would ruin my career and future, but he still acts toxic by ignoring me, not talking to me, akways thinks that he is right. Just need some help please cause I’m feeling like sh*t

Mark12138 About to start a new job soon and I'm really scared right now.
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone I graduated from university in December 2020 and I started my first fulltime job in April this year. Fast forward to December I have resigned from the job because it was not really aligned with my career goal and I wasn't really happy the... View more

Hi everyone I graduated from university in December 2020 and I started my first fulltime job in April this year. Fast forward to December I have resigned from the job because it was not really aligned with my career goal and I wasn't really happy there. I do have a new job lined up and I will be starting in two weeks time and I'm really worried. My main worry is that I won't be able to live up to the standard needed. I reread all my applications and I feel that I have not misinterpreted myself and was honest and transparent throughout both application and interview process. During the interview, the panel did say that they are more concerned about the attitude and problem solving mindset rather than what technical skills the applicant possess. I guess the main reasons are because I'm only a recent graduate with only 1 year of experience and I'm about to take on a job which from both salary or skill perspective is geared more towards someone that is much more experienced than me even though the panel did state that this position was essentially a junior level role. Has anyone ever been through something like this before or any tips to stop worrying so much? I have gone through the job advert and have been taking courses on some of the skills that was listed that I'm not really familiar with. Many thanks

bella_ just my emotions
  • replies: 4

hi, im a young teenager, I'm unhappy at the school I currently attend and trying to do everything I can to move but that's not really the topic here, I feel really sad and I always have im extremely anxious all the time especially with school since s... View more

hi, im a young teenager, I'm unhappy at the school I currently attend and trying to do everything I can to move but that's not really the topic here, I feel really sad and I always have im extremely anxious all the time especially with school since school isn't my favourite thing and the one I attend atm isn't helping, I have diagnosed anxiety since I was a little kid but I don't know what to do about me feeling so sad all the time, sadness, lack of motivation, constantly tired and lost interest in most things all I wanna do is just stay at home and lay in bed. I haven't gone out with my friends for so long and I barely have any. I have one which is my best friend and I love her with everything I have, but she's moved schools so im scared for next year. I find joy in very few things, talking to my best friend, music and collecting albums, and that's all I can really think of. im not the type of person to open up so making this account and talking about my problems on here was a big step for me. im so worried about what could be wrong with me. I don't want to say or have this come across in a hurtful way but I just want to be normal, im so insecure I just play it off and try and hide it from everyone, I can't focus on things and I have the worst memory im so fidgety and lose track so often. I want to get help and support but I don't know whaat to do like I said before I rarely open up so I don't really talk to my friends about it and I won't talk to my parents about it its just out of my comfort zone and I feel like no one understands. I've been told that people have worse problems then me which is why I think I have such a hard time opening up and I compare myself to other people who struggle (I don't want to but I can't control it) so when I see someone going through a lot I put all my empathy towards them and not myself and when try and focus on myself I compare it to other people and invalidate my own feelings. I want support and where to go from here but I don't know what to do. also there was a lady who specialises in kids mental health and anxiety that my school conselour told my parents to have me go and see but idk if my mum forgot about the lady or not and im too scared to ask.

Guest_2503 Should I have agreed to go to formal with him?
  • replies: 14

I've just been asked over text by a friend to attend his formal at a 'prestigious' private boys school. I found the contents of the text rude initially, and declined, however, I fear I may have overreacted and am worried that I made the wrong decisio... View more

I've just been asked over text by a friend to attend his formal at a 'prestigious' private boys school. I found the contents of the text rude initially, and declined, however, I fear I may have overreacted and am worried that I made the wrong decision. He's quite a shy guy with a strict overbearing mother so most of our friendship has been via email. He's a decent guy, if extremely sheltered and a bit egotistical. We both go to decently ranked schools, despite me going to an academically selective school, he's always seemed to look down at me and think that I'm stupid. He has also made passive-aggressive comments in the past about how I'm broke eg I asked him for restaurant recommendations in the suburb he lives in and he suggests place known to be dirt cheap, saying, "it's quite expensive so I'm not sure if you'll be able to afford it." Back to the situation at hand, so he texts me to ask if I'm interested in attending his formal, to which I say yes. Note that he asks if I want to attend, not specifying with him. Then he texts "Umm okay" with the date of the formal. I then say that I will let him know if I am free on that date as I am currently walking my dog and away from my calendar. To which he says "to be honest, I didn't expect you to reply so soon, since we have HSC exams coming up". My immediate reaction was confusion followed by annoyance as I did view it as a backhanded insult- as if suggesting that I wasn't studying enough because I was able to reply to his texts or suggesting I was wrong for walking my dog instead of studying. I genuinely cannot tell if he is just not used to social interaction or if he was making a pass at me (note: the first time he went out without his parents was when he was 17, his mother barely allows him to go out, I have asked to hang in the past and he has always said that his mother won't let him, we have never spent time together outside of church events (because his mother won't let us) and a few years he invited me to another formal before un-inviting me a day later because his mum "won't let him date" I can't tell if he genuinely wants to attend with me or if I'm just a sort of "trophy" for him to bring (at this private boys school, if a boy attends without a date he will receive lots of judgement) my friends tell me that he probably wouldn't look after me at the formal and that we would probably sit in silence the whole time. I keep overthinking whether or not I should have accepted, should I try to fix things?

GenGeneration I don't know who I am anymore
  • replies: 2

I'm 22 and MTF, I recently had SRS and now I feel more lost than ever. Like what is the point anymore? Like what do I do now? It feels like I've hit a dead end. I'm not really attracted to anyone and I don't think anyone is attracted to me, so I don'... View more

I'm 22 and MTF, I recently had SRS and now I feel more lost than ever. Like what is the point anymore? Like what do I do now? It feels like I've hit a dead end. I'm not really attracted to anyone and I don't think anyone is attracted to me, so I don't know. I'm kind of scared of men because of past trauma and I have trouble being around them, it's causing me a lot of problems. Do you know how I can improve or find purpose?