Young people

I feel guilty...

replies: 2

First of all, I still feel like I'm sad for no reason. If you have read my other posts, I explain that I have a chemical imbalance. I am starting to think that maybe it is lot's of little things that happened to me, making it one big problem, which m... View more

First of all, I still feel like I'm sad for no reason. If you have read my other posts, I explain that I have a chemical imbalance. I am starting to think that maybe it is lot's of little things that happened to me, making it one big problem, which made me depressed. I don't know if this could be true. Sometimes I feel like i don't deserve help, even though I know I deserve, even if I have depression for no reason. As my physiologists says "thoughts are just thoughts, they are not facts" and in this case, it is true. I have started anti- depressants last week but i have seriously thought of not going to my physiologist or school counsellor anymore because I thought i was wasting their time. My problem is only small and im wasting their time. I know it sounds silly but thats seriously what i thought. I make problems that dont exist and im getting pretty angry and frustraed with myself. I feel like I need to punish myself because I am sad for no reason. I don't know what to do anymore because I just can't be happy. I also feel guilty because, If i am completely honest, I havent really been trying to get better. My physiologist has said about 3 tactics to stop my automatic thoughts. Ive tried them once or twice but when it doesnt work, i basically give up.I dont know what to do anymore. Please help..beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

emotionally unstable and becoming too much

replies: 2

Hi I'm new here and would really love to speak and know someone here will actually listen. Im 20 years old and my past has recently fallen apart and im still struggling to face it even after several sessions of counselling I lost one of my closest fr... View more

Hi I'm new here and would really love to speak and know someone here will actually listen. Im 20 years old and my past has recently fallen apart and im still struggling to face it even after several sessions of counselling I lost one of my closest friends in 2012. He passed away in a car accident. It still hurts and I dont know when I will come to terms with it. I know crying helps but I feel lost some days.. My family has also fallen apart over the past few years.. my mother stopped all us children (me and my siblings) contacting her side of the family from a young age. I wont understand what went wrong between my mother and her family and I never will because when I ask I get told its none of my . business I talk to my family partially but it no longer feels the same. I have to go behind mothers back in order to communicate and it hurts me to do that but I feel its best. My mother and I do not have a relationship. Its hard being the eldest child of 5.. I get the feeling of worthlessness from my mother which has forced me to move out of home. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I just really want someone to talk to and will listen and not simply say "get over it"

ups and downs

replies: 1

My first love and I broke up just over a year ago and I'm still having my good days and bad days. Sometimes I can't sleep or I cry myself to sleep.. The thing I think that hurts the most is that we only broke up because he was moving and he said he s... View more

My first love and I broke up just over a year ago and I'm still having my good days and bad days. Sometimes I can't sleep or I cry myself to sleep.. The thing I think that hurts the most is that we only broke up because he was moving and he said he still loved me and that it was really hard on him too but we were together for 2 and a half years and it only took him 3 months to get over me... is it really that easy to get over someone you loved? Now he's getting with other people and I can't help but feel a little betrayed, is that silly? We are still friends but I'm not sure if he even really wants to be friends with me anymore, it's like I'm not important at all, like I don't matter. He comes home and sees all his friends, we'll most of them, but won't come and see me and I literally live around the corner. He doesn't even message me anymore unless I message him first. I just don't know how to feel or what to do..

Seperation anxiety, loss of partner

replies: 7

My now ex boyfriend of 2 years recently broke up with me over the phone last Friday night. We were very in love and there was alot of time invested in our relationship. He lived at my house 5/7 nights per week, and we weren't separated except for whe... View more

My now ex boyfriend of 2 years recently broke up with me over the phone last Friday night. We were very in love and there was alot of time invested in our relationship. He lived at my house 5/7 nights per week, and we weren't separated except for when at work or attending tafe classes. We showered together, slept together and pretty much did every single thing together for 2 years straight. We've never really spent any time apart except for now. We were very close with each others families, almost as if we shared parents. We planned alot of our future life, and our expectations were set for marriage and children and spending the rest if our life together. We went on family holidays to places in the country. We were very involved in eacothers lives. I don't remember times without him being there, and I don't have much of a life without him. After he broke up with me I didn't sleep for 6 days, I couldn't eat or else I'd purge at the thought of feeling sick. I cried hysterically, and had mood swings from feeling better to worse and worse and even worse. Last night I was at a point where I was begging him to take me back, crying and screaming at him on the phone. I am struggling without him. I have this raw empty feeling inside me like I have nothing left to live for, nothing left to give to anyone. I feel worthless and uncomfortable. I'm fidgety, restless and have hot flushes. I have this pain in my chest like I'm being poked with a knife. I feel worried and unstable. I feel like I can't live life without him. My heart is constantly racing and I am obsessing over him and cannot stop thinking about him. Every time I close my eyes I see his face. I find it hard to stop worrying. I've had to leave work and take time off because I am in panic constantly. I am miserable. I feel like I can stop talking to him, but then I feel the need to compulsively message or call him. I worry that if something bad were to happen to him it would be my fault because i didn't try hard enough to keep him with me. I don't know what to do with myself .beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

suffocating by anxiety

replies: 2

Hi. I used to be a mute to everyone who wernt family. I was homeschooled up untill one day it occurred to me that I have to talk. I started at a school. Everything was good I didn't really talk that much but I thought it would just wear off. I didn't... View more

Hi. I used to be a mute to everyone who wernt family. I was homeschooled up untill one day it occurred to me that I have to talk. I started at a school. Everything was good I didn't really talk that much but I thought it would just wear off. I didn't realise that anything was going wrong up untill I took a week off of school with a flu. When I came back I had changed and I have no idea why. I never talked much and dreaded presentations for weeks before I had to present them and shook alot but I was just trying to push to be normal. Anyway I was in yr 9 and I was writing on paper. Some guy in my class had bees up to the teachers desk and he was just turning around to walk back to his seat which was in front of me, I looked up at him and all of a sudden my eyes went all watered and puffy non stop, I had no idea what was happening but that's when it all happened and it kept happening everytime I looked at people or people looked at me it was and is horrific. I was 13 when it started I'm now 18 almost 19. I thought every time at echo when a new year begun that that would be the year I would be able to get rid of this, but no every year it got worse watery eyes so much that I can't see when being looked at or looking at someone, I can't hold eye contact or a conversation with someone for long because of it. If I was on a computer at the library I would freeze can't move my head just can only stare at screen and move mouse. My voice is always creaky or fades off. I shake. I'm constantly nervous about nothing. I had no friends because everyone thought I was weird and scary they would all call me stuff and be rude and call me quiet which makes things worse. I barely finished school because of it but with bad grades because I couldn't focus on anything or think. I always feel sick and nauseous, I couldn't eat because of how nervous I was and I'd always end up with a extremely sore jaw and my eyes puff up and squinty and my face goes pale. I need help I've always wanted for someone to fix me but I can't communicate or go places. I can go out to the shops for a bit but I'm always afraid to be alone. I can't get a job because I get put down by what people say which makes things worse. Whatever I have has literally ruined my life and I have no idea how to move forward or get better seeing as I have been this way for so long. I have also lost interest in everything and everything I used to like. I don't remember who I was before I was like this. Thanks for listening

Feeling like I need to let it out.

replies: 9

Hello everyone Lets just keep this short. I feel as if I have to start talking or I will explode. I feel like there is nothing I like about myself whether it be my physical appearance or how I lead my life. I refuse to open up to anyone. Due to this ... View more

Hello everyone Lets just keep this short. I feel as if I have to start talking or I will explode. I feel like there is nothing I like about myself whether it be my physical appearance or how I lead my life. I refuse to open up to anyone. Due to this I have very few friends. I can't get a job. Every time I go out I feel as if everyone is judging me. I'm always so angry. Every time something goes wrong I blame myself regardless if I'm at fault or not and I'm always worrying about things. Kind regards.

To tell? Or not to tell?

replies: 6

Hi All, if you have been following my thread you know that I have been having some trouble with anxiety over the last few months. I have recently been put on ADs and I feel like they are starting to work now. Mi haven't told anyone in my life yet jus... View more

Hi All, if you have been following my thread you know that I have been having some trouble with anxiety over the last few months. I have recently been put on ADs and I feel like they are starting to work now. Mi haven't told anyone in my life yet just my doctor and I am trying to decide who I should tell if I should at all. It's been good to have this place as a kind of journal and I can't decide if it's worth telling one person or a few. 1. First I could talk to my head teacher. I am aprehensive though because a lot of students go to her and spin a story about not coping to get extensions and I know it's BS. So I feel kinda bad like I'm joining this group. Frankly she might not be as to give me extensions this late in the year anyway. 2. My best friend is in science and works with pharmaceuticals so she would probs be very understanding. But I usually have heaps of fun with her I don't want to ruin the time we have together. 3. Cousin, I have a cousin who is studying to work in mental health. We are very close but she has always treated me like a little sister she wants to give advice to and I dont k ow that I really want that from her. 4. Brother, I am fairly sure he went through something like this in his Hsc though I dont know exactly what. We are not close though so it might just be an awkward conversation. i don't want to tell my parents as they will worry far to much and a part of me feels like dealing with this on my own makes me a strong adult. If I talk to ppl about it are they all going to start babying me and checking in on me? How many ppl do you normally have in your lives that you share this with? flower_girl

I feel like a social Einzelgänger

replies: 2

Hello First off, thank you for reading this, I hope you can learn something from it. Basically everyone around me says that I am a very social person, and it doesn't feel like they're saying it just to be polite. Truth is, I almost always can see how... View more

Hello First off, thank you for reading this, I hope you can learn something from it. Basically everyone around me says that I am a very social person, and it doesn't feel like they're saying it just to be polite. Truth is, I almost always can see how someone is feeling and can almost always adjust my behaviour to other persons. I believe I am liked by many, but lately I have been feeling more and more lonely. I love being alone and not talk to people and that makes me sad with myself because it is important to help others and I should feel lucky that people like me. I feel like this about many things. I consider myself lucky with my looks and mind but sometimes i just feel like sleeping a lot and not doing anything at all, which makes me sad because it feels like im wasting the luck that someone else could have had. I' m doing about the hardest education anyone of my age can do, and i used to love to learn but now I feel like my school is trying to make me learn too much and i dont feel like learning that much anymore, which, again, makes me feel like i'm wasting myself, but lately learning too much does too. I love gaming, which often angers my parents. I often feel like I shouldnt complain about anything really because at least im alive and get to wash myself and eat daily. I realize many things and it often makes me feel guilty or less worthy, and i realize this as well. Just knowing and realizing so much makes me lose track of what im doing and feeling and sometimes i feel like im not feeling anything at all. i want to take a break from school. It is too much to handle, my thoughts and desires and needs and other peoples needs and homework and i just want to do what i wantbut i dont even have enough money for anything because i dont have a job because i can't even cope as it is now and i feel trapped while feeling lucky that ive been born with all my body parts and good brains and friends but my mind is just going too fast right now. Ive been diagnosed with ADD btw like this post, my mind usually is not very organized. Sorry hope you learned, reply to whichever part you want love, Sosonakias

I shouldn't be worrying but I am

replies: 4

Hi all, sorry to write a big story. But something happened recently and I have to get it off my chest So I got my end of Year 11 school reports yesterday, it was something I was fearful that I was going to get awful scores and comments. Because I'm f... View more

Hi all, sorry to write a big story. But something happened recently and I have to get it off my chest So I got my end of Year 11 school reports yesterday, it was something I was fearful that I was going to get awful scores and comments. Because I'm fearful of being laughed at or rejected when I participate in class, I just sat there quietly and said nothing. The end of the lesson would come and I would be standing at the door shaking and consistently checking the clock on my insulin pump preparing to power walk out of there. So I was worried that my report would be poor, I can't build the confidence to tell any teachers at my school that I'm having problems with anxiety, sadness and just feeling rubbish I should tell them but I can't get the confidence to do so. The only time I even came close was when my Visual Arts teacher noticed I looked worried for no reason, I told him but that was as far as I went. Back to the report, it was okay. I'm basically a middle ground student. Since my last report my rank in the class has either: Not changed at all or gone up (in good way) one or two places. This should be a sign to me that I'm not doing that bad and that I'm okay...but I feel like I did far worse. I got good comments on class participation. If feel like I barely did that. Another teacher said that I could thrive in the creative arts area, an area which I'm seriously worried I should give up...feeling the way I am, I think it's a bad idea to follow it. I used to love it..but I don't know what happened. I don't want to quit but I feel like it's a bad idea I just can't stop worrying about it...I shouldn't be worried. I didn't get comments like "behaves inappropriately" or anything. But I still feel like I messed up. I'm constantly worried that I look: Rude and disrepectful Dis-honest Unsympathetic Lazy I can't tell if I'm just nervous for Year 12 or just that I feel like good comments about me are exaggerated. School reports are tricky for me. I feel like I messed up but others view me differently and it confuses me to no end I worry about my personality, attitude and appearance all the time.

Does anyone feel the same I do?

replies: 4

Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in my own body. Like my brain controls me. I feel like my own thoughts are attacking me. I feel like a volcano waiting to erupt. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy and everything is just a blur. Sometimes I get he... View more

Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in my own body. Like my brain controls me. I feel like my own thoughts are attacking me. I feel like a volcano waiting to erupt. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy and everything is just a blur. Sometimes I get headaches because of how much I think. I hate everything about myself and I think everything is my fault. I'm the one who always gets replaced and I'm never good enough. I feel empty all the time. I've been searching for someone who has the same story I do. Someone who doesn't know why their depressed. Someone who thinks their overreacting and that they shouldn't be feeling this way. But it seems like I'm the only one. The only clueless one. I don’t know what to do because I honestly can’t even control myself anymore. Am I the only one who feels this way?

Pinned discussions

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

All discussions

I feel guilty...

replies: 2

emotionally unstable and becoming too much

replies: 2

ups and downs

replies: 1

Seperation anxiety, loss of partner

replies: 7

suffocating by anxiety

replies: 2

Feeling like I need to let it out.

replies: 9

To tell? Or not to tell?

replies: 6

I feel like a social Einzelgänger

replies: 2

I shouldn't be worrying but I am

replies: 4

Does anyone feel the same I do?

replies: 4

Young people

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

I feel guilty... replies: 2

emotionally unstable and becoming too much replies: 2

ups and downs replies: 1

Seperation anxiety, loss of partner replies: 7

suffocating by anxiety replies: 2

Feeling like I need to let it out. replies: 9

To tell? Or not to tell? replies: 6

I feel like a social Einzelgänger replies: 2

I shouldn't be worrying but I am replies: 4

Does anyone feel the same I do? replies: 4

New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

I feel guilty...

replies: 2

emotionally unstable and becoming too much

replies: 2

ups and downs

replies: 1

Seperation anxiety, loss of partner

replies: 7

suffocating by anxiety

replies: 2

Feeling like I need to let it out.

replies: 9

To tell? Or not to tell?

replies: 6

I feel like a social Einzelgänger

replies: 2

I shouldn't be worrying but I am

replies: 4

Does anyone feel the same I do?

replies: 4