emotionally unstable and becoming too much

[kittycat94]

Hi I'm new here and would really love to speak and know someone here will actually listen.

Im 20 years old and my past has recently fallen apart and im still struggling to face it even after several sessions of counselling 

I lost one of my closest friends in 2012. He passed away in a car accident.

It still hurts and I dont know when I will come to terms with it. I know crying helps but I feel lost some days..

My family has also fallen apart over the past few years.. my mother stopped all us children (me and my  siblings) contacting her side of the family from a young age.

I wont understand what went wrong between my mother and her family and I never will because when I ask I get told its none of my . business 

I talk to my family partially but it no longer feels the same.

I have to go behind mothers back in order to communicate and it hurts me to do that but I feel its best.

My mother and I do not have a relationship. Its hard being the eldest child of 5.. I get the feeling of worthlessness from my mother which has forced me to move out of home.

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I just really want someone to talk to and will listen and not simply say "get over it"

[Neil_1]

Hi there kittycat

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and providing your post.

Families can be absolutely brilliant;   but unfortunately, they can also be bloody horrible;  and it’s the latter that obviously really affects us.  Deeply.

And on top of the family situation, you’re also still dealing with the loss of one of your closest friends, just a couple of years ago – 2012 is not that long ago, and so that issue would be still very raw for you and understandably so.  The thing with grief is, there is no time that is right – no time that is right to begin to move on and vice versa, likewise for time for still being stripped raw of this and still grieving.  We all do it in our own time and no-one has the right to say anything like, “C’mon, get over it”.

That’s why this site is so awesome;  because we’re all fellow strugglers with this mongrel illness and we understand others who come here and post.

Back to family – are any of your 4 other siblings in the same boat as you regarding to how they are treated by your Mum?

And one last question is that:  you say you’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety?  Has your treating doctor prescribed you any anti-depressants or further counselling with, perhaps a psychologist??

Thanx again for posting and I look forward to hearing back from you.

Neil

[kittycat94]

Hi Neil,

Thankyou so much for replying..

I suppose everyone is different

 No my siblings are not in the same boat as my mother and myself.  I think that is what also hurts too

seeing her happy with them and always takimg them out but when I offer to grab coffee with my mum she doesnt have anu spare time for me kinda hurts

I havent been prescribed on any medications due to blood pressure so my doctor will not prescribe it