Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Ex and Best friend

replies: 2

Hey guys, I understand that this may be a confrontational topic but is something that i desperately need to get off my chest. A night ago i met up with my ex (who i am still friends with dispite originally ending on bad terms) and my best friend. we went back to her house and we were having fun untill they started kissing in front of me. We talked about it and she said that she would not have done it if i had given her a sign but i don’t believe this. This is due to the fact that she told me that she regrets what she did while telling my ex that she wants to do it again (he messaged me about it telling me this). I am scared of confrontation and do not see myself working up the nerve to tell her i don’t like it, even tho i thought it was obvious i wouldn’t. Anyone have any ideas on what I should do?

Body Image

replies: 7

How to I learn to love my body? I have been aiming to workout regularly and I have found this hard due to homework and my job. I still look the same as I did a year ago with no changes. I see my friend say healthy for a week and they loose weight, i ... View more

Work is making feel so sad and angry

replies: 1

Hey there, everyone. This is my first ever post on Beyond Blue, and I prefer to be a lurker on forums. However, I feel like I need to vent. I'm finding myself really struggling to have a positive mindset because of my work. I'm in my early twenties, and my job is requires being physical. Essentially, I have been titled as a recycler.That never has bothered me, only the environment I find myself in. I work in the production warehouse of a retail store, which I joined ever since i finished high school. I don't have any issues interacting with others, and I do engage in a lot of banter. What I've come to realise is that I'm very much a person who dwells in the past, and will become very blue and have a 'woe is me' attitude when I'm told off at work. For the past three years, I dealt with a manager who would berate me every day, and while I was never manhandled by him, I feel like I was bullied to some extent. He was the most reprehensible person I have met. Thankfully, he moved on elsewhere, and I'm more relaxed at work. My other supervisor was once annoyed with me because she felt pressured because I was waiting for her to complete a task, so then that we could move carts together, which is a required process after her work. However, she told me to that I was bothering her, but I didn't do anything, since I had completed my other tasks and wanted to stay and wait to help out. She then knocked my head three times, very much like when you would knock on a door. I remember distinctly her laughing at this. To this day, she has never apologised, and I know she feels no guilt because she once laughed about yet again. I understand I'm not being too cohesive at this point, but I have a mix of emotions. I have a burning rage that I've been physically touched by a supervisor for trying to be considerate. I just feel so weak and emasculated. I just have no drive to want to do well at work. I have no drive to do anything. I have had to spend THREE MONTHS BY MYSELF running around the warehouse, getting everyone's bins and products to be recycled. I feel like a dog. And management have had the gall to act annoyed at my asks for help. I want to explode and make them realise how angry and sad I am. My joy in life would be just daydreaming about any fantasy I have. I wish that they were real. I'm sorry for the tangent, and I understand, reading back on everything, how stupid and weird this is to complain about.

Everything feels like too much

replies: 3

I'm not sure how to say this, I find it so hard to write what I'm feeling and going through. I'm going to try, this may sound weird but here I go. I have been feeling down again, being stuck in lockdown has made it hard. I have felt a lot of pressure from school and home, people expect so much of me and I feel I don't live up to their expectations. I feel like a failure at times and life gets a little too much but I don't want to talk to anyone, I just can't get words out. I feel like my family is often annoyed/angry at me, they constantly say I'm on my phone and being lazy. I've also had a major writers block and I can't write anything, nothing is sparking ideas. I've been getting emotional lately, but it doesn't last for long, maybe a couple of days and then I'm fine for a while. My major problem is I don't want to talk to anyone, I dislike going to someone about my problems, I struggle to express what I want to say and then I go quiet. I'm not sure what to do.

I've just decided to leave school and I feel lonelier than ever...

replies: 3

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I thought about coming on here to release the stress that I am currently facing as well as to seek advice. About a week ago, I decided to leave school. I am in Year 12, my HSC trials are just around the corner in a couple of weeks. I am leaving school because mentally HSC is just not working out for me at this point in time, especially with the lockdowns. During my time at this particular school, I have never felt an ounce welcome. On my first day (I joined around the end of Year 10), I was assigned to a "buddy" who was supposed to show me around, but instead someone else did because he probably forgot I was new or who knows... Even so, I still tried to be friends with this person and it felt very one-sided - if I wanted to invite him out he would try to find an excuse every single time. Yet he would only invite me out if I was going out with a group of a couple of people, not just him personally. So one day I realised it's not worth my time. While this was happening, I tried to put myself out there and talk to other students within my cohort which I felt just didn't notice my presence most of the time or used me. So as a result, I felt extremely ostracized and constantly spent my recess and lunch in the library without eating any food or drinking water until I got back home. My school holidays have been nothing better over the past year - a never-ending mess of study and lying in bed wondering if anyone actually knows that I exist besides my parents. I didn't receive any text message from anyone but one message from someone else in my cohort asking about a mark I received from one of my exams. Not a "How are you going?", just straight to that. I am on here because I would like to seek advice or be able to try and find people which I can form friends with on here around my age (16-18). Since the lockdowns have started, all it has been is a replica of holidays - study and complete boredom. My only friends within my life are online and much harder to relate to as all are overseas. The reason for my lack of friends is not wanting to associate with those who are rather immature (I promise I am not critical of people). Hence, partially why I am also leaving school and trying to find another alternative. Some of my online friends are busy themselves and nowadays is harder to converse with them. Does anyone have advice to combat this loneliness while still in lockdown? I am in great need of just someone to talk to. Thank you.

Confused and hopeless

replies: 7

Hi there to whoever reads this, I have never really done this Im nervous to ask for advice and for thoughts on an issue that is plaguing my everyday life and affecting my mental health and has done for a long period of time. I am 25 and have never been in a committed relationship with a girl and am trying to meet someone I can have a connection with like I haven't had before and have someone I can spend time with, get to know and just have by my side. My mental state over the last 12 months has been one of confusions, depression and just generally all over the place largely because of this lonely feeling I have which is caused by these dating issues. I am generally just a pretty normal guy, probably more of an introvert at first until I am comfortable. I feel this is too boring to keep a girl interested. I am not a larger than life character and hugely extroverted and I feel pressure that I need to be this way. I feel beat down and out of hope with all the rejection and times I get in the friend zone when I encounter a dating experience. Typically it feels like I can't seem to spark enough interest in a girl to go beyond a second date as this is usually the time where they either disappear without word of warning or I yet again get the "your nice but..." type of speech. I met someone at the start of this year who I really hit it off with and felt the tide was turning and I was told just out of the blue I am just a friend when her actions were the complete opposite. I have found that situation particularly hard to let go as I feel I did something to lose this opportunity and it has plagued me ever since with feelings of regret. This girl was very well suited to me and it feels since then I am just falling flat on my face everytime and each time I think of that situation and it makes it worse. I know I am still young and should enjoy myself and it will happen when it happens but I feel incredible pressure from friends, family etc to make this happen. I want someone who understands me and actually enjoys being with me but I feel I can't be myself as its not interesting enough. I just feel more and more alone that I have never had someone and there is really no sign at all where this is going to happen as I have been throwing myself out there and I am now at a point where I am turned off because I feel like I've either already met that person and stuffed it up or I won't meet that person because I am not enough for anyone to stay interested. Thanks

feeling overwhelmed and need tips for self-compassion

replies: 14

Hi there, I have just graduated and is applying to graduate school lately. But each day, when I searching for potential supervisors and trying to read their work, I get more and more stressed out. I get overwhelmed by the amount of work I need to do before the application deadline. I started to feel like the joy and love I have for research starting to fade away. More and more self-doubts start to creep in and everyday I'm just trying to keep my head above water. I try to recognise that not everything is in my control, but 'thinking about the bright side' seems fake and pointless at times. I don't know if anyone felt like this before. I'm really curious about how do people take care of themselves during difficult times, and what are their tips for self-compassion. Kind regards, Mangopie8

burnt out

replies: 4

I'm graduating high school this year, and my hsc starts in a couple weeks, but i can't motivate myself to study at all. every time i get a practice question wrong i just start crying, and i can't do any long answer questions, it's so overwhelming. I feel like i don't remember anything i've studied, and i keep forgetting the most basic stuff. i really need to study now more than ever but i just end up crying for my entire scheduled session. I don't know what to do, any advice is appreciated.

Never ending cycle

replies: 18

Ok bit of backstory. 6 months ago my boyfriend of s year and a half broke up with me. The full reasons why elude me but I know I messed up somewhere and hurt him and his family. Prior to this he was my best friend and drying our period of dating his family became my family - I didn’t have a good relationship with mine at the time. And now 6 months on I still feel so awful about it and him. I want to reach out to his family and tell them I’m sorry. I want them in my life again but I can’t do that and I know it’s not healthy especially because my ex and I aren’t as close as we were My dad and my stepmum are also divorcing so that makes me feel super alone as well and my mum lives in a different city and I was really close to her but due to covid and me moving for University I haven’t gotten to see her a lot. i feel like I’m stuck in this constant rut of being alone and not having anyone. My friends are sick of hearings bout my heartbreak. I don’t want to talk to my parents about it and my counsellor has been fantastic but I don’t feel like I’m getting better. my anxiety and depression has always been in a massive cycle and this is the time that I would feel low and to add to that it’s my ex and Is anniversary next week which makes me feel way worse. i also constantly have troubles in my relationships and always seem to ruin them or make something go wrong and am looking at an ADHD diagnosis at 21 yo. However that’s also hard to admit as it could be a number of things such as BPD as well. I’m really just sick of feeling constantly hopeless and alone.

Overcoming envy, perfectionism and low self-esteem

replies: 3

Hello, I need some extra wisdom on how to be content with myself. I've talked to my councilor on this issue a few times, read articles (including the inner critic article on this site), watched videos from all sorts of perspectives, but I lack the discipline to change my thinking. All I know is envy is a primal and toxic emotion that I'd like to suppress, since feeding into it leaves me feeling moody, inadequate and despondent. I already know the two big hints: stop comparing yourself, and, be grateful for what you have. My biggest mistake is often comparing myself to others. I've always had a competitive mindset, usually among my peers. As an example: When I was in school, there was this kid who everyone thought was some amazing rock star (he is don't get me wrong), and being a guitarist myself, my immediate response was, "oh yeah? I can do better!" At that moment I was driven to put on the best gig that school had ever seen, nothing mattered to me, not even my grades, I just wanted my time to shine, which I had, and it remains a highlight of my life. Yet, I struggle to remain content. I'm always vying for something, and if I don't have it, then my negative instincts start kicking in with it's usual drivel. "You're wasting your life away, no one is going to recognize your talent, everyone thinks you're a tool, why aren't you like this person? You're rubbish! bad-bad-bad!" Or sometimes it's a nasty motivator like, "Look at this person, they don't deserve that success, that should belong to ME!" I've grown a serious envy towards one artist in particular, and often have fantasies of surpassing them in fame and being the voice of my generation, always afraid that their recognition will forever outshine me, think like the movie Amadeus with Salieri's jealousy towards Mozart. A bit narcissistic I know. I hate thinking like this. I want to feel joy again, to take pleasure in my hobbies and not compete, no more thinking about what everyone else is doing, and how much they love this other person. I need to stop seeking the validation of a million strangers to compensate for how poorly I think of myself, because despite all the praise I receive, I'm still not happy, I get greedy for more attention! I just want to be content with myself, no more questing for perfection, fame and fortune, which is out of my league anyway, and honestly, materialistic junk won't fill the void. I just want peace of mind. Sorry for rambling.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Ex and Best friend replies: 2

Body Image replies: 7

Work is making feel so sad and angry replies: 1

Everything feels like too much replies: 3

I've just decided to leave school and I feel lonelier than ever... replies: 3

Confused and hopeless replies: 7

feeling overwhelmed and need tips for self-compassion replies: 14

burnt out replies: 4

Never ending cycle replies: 18

Overcoming envy, perfectionism and low self-esteem replies: 3