Young people

Finished school, supposed to be happy but... lonely, I just want to completely transform myself

replies: 1

I recently finished all my school exams and I have a few months of free time. Before the holidays, I was feeling so motivated - I wanted to go out, try and learn new things, catch up on everything I didn't have time for during school... but I just fe... View more

I recently finished all my school exams and I have a few months of free time. Before the holidays, I was feeling so motivated - I wanted to go out, try and learn new things, catch up on everything I didn't have time for during school... but I just feel so empty and demotivated. Seeing photos of people having fun and all these beautiful places online make me want to go out with friends, but nobody wants to go with me and I don't really have anyone to talk to. This is an immediate problem, and I know it isn't a significant one. However, this is related to a more long term problem - I find it so difficult to connect with people and am struggling to accept myself. So many times I have tried to organise outings with my friends and most of the time nobody goes. I understand this though - why would someone want to hang out with someone who is so serious and boring? Sometimes I really enjoy alone time, and go out alone (and people think I'm odd). But sometimes I really just want company, someone to talk to, to motivate and support each other, to exchange ideas, to have a laugh, to grow together. I hardly ever smile or laugh, and I seem so detached and serious. People think I'm secretly judging them when I actually am not; I don't wish to sound arrogant, but if I were to be honest, I'm more open-minded and accepting than a lot of people I know. In general, my thoughts don't seem to align with my actions - even when I'm happy, I find it hard to smile (I actually find it harder to smile with my family as they're so used to me not smiling) and I find it so hard to show affection and warmth to people. My appearance is appalling - I'm so bony and I look so flimsy and awkward. My face is sharp and bony so I look even more serious. In general I just look like a really unlikeable and awkward person. I'm also extremely quiet around everyone outside of my home, to the point where a lot of the times people can't hear me and I have to repeat the same thing multiple times until they give up. Moreover I feel like I did so poorly in my final exams. I genuinely can't think of anything I am good at. I hate how I'm such a failure. And this pervasive feeling of loneliness has in turn obstructed my motivation to read and learn other things... I want to use this free time that I have to transform myself but I'm not sure how. I've tried volunteering and working some shifts to talk to other people but it hasn't helped... I know it's ultimately up to myself but I would really like help.

University lack of motivation

replies: 3

So, I am creating this new thread because, while similar to other threads, it bears some significant differences. Anyway, on to the problems. So I just finished my first year of university, and quite frankly... I did terribly. I have failed at least ... View more

So, I am creating this new thread because, while similar to other threads, it bears some significant differences. Anyway, on to the problems. So I just finished my first year of university, and quite frankly... I did terribly. I have failed at least 3 if 8 subjects (some marks aren't out yet), even failing some classes on topics I love. This is compared to highschool where I consistently got A's and the occasional B. And as I said earlier, some of the classes I failed, namely linear algebra, I love and know the information well. However come to the exam and there was a typo in one of the questions, which caused me to break down and cry silently for 2.5 of a 3hr exam. Now, back to the beginning of semester 2. As I failed one subject in first semester (also do to a panic attack in the exam hall), my parents got me to see a GP who referred me to a psychologist specialising in anxiety and ADHD. After psychoanalysing me, gave me the all clear and told me and my parents that I have no mental disorders. However, in semester 2 I lost 100% of my motivation. I lost my appetite, couldn't do classwork, and spent most of my day just sitting (and stressing) in my room. Furthermore, on 3 occasions I completely broke down into uncontrollable crying (where I would cry hysterically from anywhere between 30min and a 2hr). In one occasion, I broke down on a main street outside the university and fortunately my girlfriend managed to get me to a quiet spot, where I simply cried for who knows how long. Finally, in recent months, I have lost all interest in things I used to love. For example, I have passed grade 6 piano exams and was a passionate trekky. I used to be able to spend several hours per day playing the piano, and then watch an episode or 2 of tng at night. Now none of this interests me. I mean, I feel like it should, but I just can't build up interest within myself. With all this in mind, I can't imagine this is normal, but at the same time I don't want to contradict a trained professional (or my parents who agree with him). At the same time, I know who I am right now isn't me, and I don't think crying in the exam hall over a typo is normal either. What should I do? Thanks in advance. P.S. sorry for the long post, but I wanted to be thorough

foster care

replies: 1

Why am i in foster care? I still dont really understand

Graduating from School, Miserable time

replies: 8

My graduation is coming up in about 3 weeks and I don't want to go. It's a been back and forth situation for the last few months but I'm pretty much settled on this option, I can't think of a single good reason to go. I'm just alone all the time, I t... View more

My graduation is coming up in about 3 weeks and I don't want to go. It's a been back and forth situation for the last few months but I'm pretty much settled on this option, I can't think of a single good reason to go. I'm just alone all the time, I try to sit next to some of my "friends" but they find excuses "I'm saving this seat" and "I'm going over there". I don't invited to parties but they pretend to care when I don't want to do stuff like formals. I feel like I have to take on new personas to come close to being normal I hate myself and feel like such a useless person, I'm not thinking of self harm or anything but still.

I don't know what to do.. It's been 5 days of crying... Nothing is helping

replies: 15

I;m 24 at the present time and i live with my parents and partner.He said as soon as he gets a job we are moving out.I am so close to my mum, i haven't spent more than 5 days away from her and cant fathom the thought of not being in arms reach anymor... View more

I;m 24 at the present time and i live with my parents and partner.He said as soon as he gets a job we are moving out.I am so close to my mum, i haven't spent more than 5 days away from her and cant fathom the thought of not being in arms reach anymore.I don't want to move out and do not want to grow up.I've fallen into depression badly. It's hard to get up in the morning, all i think about is moving out and how i'm going to Cope. I don't see a way to help this purely because i don't want to move out.I don't think ill ever be ready to.I am scared of not having my mum in arms reach anymore. Ill be in the same town and she said i can visit everyday and she will stay one night with me per week and i can stay home one night per week too.But i still can't get over how much i don't want to leave.We have even put transition periods in place for when it does happen.I still can't accept it. I am afraid of such things as: - Not wanting to see my mum much after a while.- Not needing her anymore.- Not wanting to spend time with her or my nan anymore- Not putting in the effort to come around.- Losing her.- Losing our bond.- Losing our closeness. ( i crawled into bed with her the other night even because she was upset and it was fine).- Growing up and realizing im an adult.- Her not wanting to be as close to me anymore.- Not spending as much time together as we are now.- My place not feeling like home.- Not feeling safe there when i have a panic attack.- Just not being okay.- My family are my WHOLE LIFE. I don;t want them to not be. I feel like im leaving my nan and mum like im losing them. Im an absolute wreck shaking and crying all the time. Barely eating due to feeling sick and im underweight due to anorexia and gastritus. I can't get into my psychiatrist till the end of next month. My family are my entire life. Please tell me it gets easier and the things i'm concerned about are silly and wont happen. I'm begging for help cause im dragging my mum, nan and partner down by the way im acting. They tell me to worry about it when it happens but i just cant get it out of my head. I've also been spending a lot more time with my mum and nan now that i know im moving out in the next year. I Don't know if thats my OCD or not. I guess it is considering I was fine not too long ago and didn't worry about when mum came home and now i watch the clock like a hawk waiting for her. I feel like im losing everything and its all going to change. None of us will be as close. Please help

Hello

replies: 2

Hi I'm Tasha I've suffers major Deppression I'm only 13 I've had Deppression since I was 10 um I've left my previous high school and started at a new one and I really hate it there is this girl called mikeala the only person I know we were best frien... View more

Hi I'm Tasha I've suffers major Deppression I'm only 13 I've had Deppression since I was 10 um I've left my previous high school and started at a new one and I really hate it there is this girl called mikeala the only person I know we were best friends last year but she has changed a lot she is men to me and talks about gross stuff so I left but my mum wants me to go back on Monday but I'm to scared I have no social skills I get major anxiety when around lots of people and people I don't know I know what she will do she has always done it she gets all here friends and they all gang up on me and bully me and I just don't know anyone I only have 2 friends that go to my old high school andi can be myself around them but I can't really talk to anyone anymore I don't think my family and my mum get that I can't talk to anyone and I just can't make friends I just can't handle it anymore I really don't want to go back I've been feeling really low and worthless lately I just don't know what to do anymore hat should I do?

How can I help my boyfriend manage his depression when he has asked me not to contact him?

replies: 2

My boyfriend broke up with me today; he feels like he can't love me because of his depression, even though I know he cares about me very much. He said that I 'deserve someone better' and that he 'knows how to handle it on his own'. I tried to tell hi... View more

My boyfriend broke up with me today; he feels like he can't love me because of his depression, even though I know he cares about me very much. He said that I 'deserve someone better' and that he 'knows how to handle it on his own'. I tried to tell him that I was fine to be whatever he needed, that I know depression is difficult and that I was ready for that but he wouldn't have any of it. I told him that I would always be there to talk if he needed someone, and that he was worthy of love and that I was willing to help him work through it but he insisted that we shouldn't contact each other at all, not even just as friends. So my question is should I respect his decision and leave him to figure things out, or should I try and be more proactive somehow? I know that he is already seeing a professional and taking medication. I really want to help but he's trying really hard to push me away and I get scared that I'm violating his personal space and not respecting his decisions if I try and call him anything like that.

She Doesn't Deserve This

replies: 3

Ok everyone, I need your help. My best friend is having some trouble at home. Her parents are fighting all the time. And when the argument stops the start yelling at her for no reason. She's a good girl, a brilliant girl. She's healthy, incredibly in... View more

Ok everyone, I need your help. My best friend is having some trouble at home. Her parents are fighting all the time. And when the argument stops the start yelling at her for no reason. She's a good girl, a brilliant girl. She's healthy, incredibly intelligent, so kind and caring towards everyone (she even deals with me and all my problems), and she doesn't deserve any of this. She tries to hide it but I know she's in pain. A possible divorce is not something anyone deserves to live through, especially her. I know because I've been through it, I know how hard it is for the children of a divorce. I don't want her going through that alone. Everyone, I need your help to support her because she's not the type to ask so I am. Please help me help my best friend.

Stressed about University

replies: 2

Okay, so I am 2 and a half weeks away from finishing my first year at University however I am hating what I do. I am studying Industrial Design and have been flat out doing my 3 subjects, however 2 of those subjects take up a lot of my time and I hav... View more

Okay, so I am 2 and a half weeks away from finishing my first year at University however I am hating what I do. I am studying Industrial Design and have been flat out doing my 3 subjects, however 2 of those subjects take up a lot of my time and I have let the last one slip to the point where I doubt it is possible for me to pass any more. Obviously I feel extremely disappointed in myself, but at the same time I no longer want to follow that career. I have got a job interview this week for a casual supermarket position so I got that going for me right now (the unemployment in my area is ridiculous). The problem is that I have no idea what I want to do any more. I feel like a disappointment to my family and feel like I'm getting left behind by my peers.

New; apologies in advance for the long post.

replies: 3

Hello! I am new and I don't know what is wrong with me. Recently, I've been frequently having crying spells for no particular reason, and because there is no reason i can pinpoint that is causing my sadness I am feeling extremely silly. I start cryin... View more

Hello! I am new and I don't know what is wrong with me. Recently, I've been frequently having crying spells for no particular reason, and because there is no reason i can pinpoint that is causing my sadness I am feeling extremely silly. I start crying when i'm alone in my room, or at night when everyone is asleep, and I've been keeping myself awake because of it. I end up falling asleep in the morning from exhausting myself. Between the crying spells, I have these periods where i'm just perfectly calm and not particularly unhappy. Like right now as I am typing this (but i can feel it starting up again) Last night, when i finally stopped crying and went to bed, I felt content and happy. "I must've finally cried it all out" I thought, and I was extremely relieved but then it started all over again a few hours after I woke up. Literally just on-off-on-off crying. When it gets really bad, I start hyperventilating as well, but that has only happened once so far. I am here because I feel like it has gotten worse. Usually when I am feeling down, I look towards drawing to distract myself and it usually works. Today however, i've started multiple drawings, ended up scribbling all of them out and putting my head on my desk in tears. Most of the day, as well, I'm just laying my head on the table and doing nothing at all. I'm scared to ask my friends and family for help because, honestly, I dont even know if this is bad enough for me to require help or if it's something that I should be able to get over on my own. So if i did ask them, I'd feel like i'm just crying for attention or something. I also do not want to burden them with worry. I plan to just look around for information for the time being, to see if this is just a small hiccup or if it is actually something that may advance somewhere dark- and also find some threads that may have described similar experiences. Sorry for the long post, ty for reading and nice to meet you.

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Finished school, supposed to be happy but... lonely, I just want to completely transform myself

replies: 1