Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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I don't know how to find someone.

replies: 7

I am 25 and due to my mental health, I lost about 10 years of my life from the time I was 14. I didn't even start to climb out of that hole until I was 23. I was taking smaller steps initially and have been making much larger ones now, but one area where I can't seem to make any progress is finding a romantic partner. In my 10 years of solitude, I feel I essentially missed out on developing the skills necessary to navigate the dating world, communicate my value, and be flexible while maintaining my values. To be charming and interesting. To be intellectual, but physical. Now, I am 25 and so touch and affection-starved that I can't take the pain of loneliness anymore. Going out into the world, to the beach, bars, etc, and seeing everyone there with their partners is excruciating. My friend told me yesterday about a girl he hooked up with and I had chest pain for 4 hours afterwards because I can't even fathom how people accomplish that. I literally do not know, cannot imagine, the combination of words and actions that would lead to that. A hookup is not even what I'm looking for, but it would be something. I am either on, or have tried just about every dating app out there, and on the rare occasion that I get a match, it hasn't gone past 5 messages (hence I don't know how to communicate my value). I try meetups and singles groups, but there seems to be so few people my age, and I can't stop myself from thinking it is because they are normal and don't need them whereas I unfortunately do. I feel so unlike the bulk of my generation. I don't know where my people are. I'm getting really tired.

I want nothing to do with father

replies: 4

My father is an extremely toxic person. I am 21 and he still wants to control every aspect of my life. He is always unhappy with me. Recently he thinks I am doing drugs ( I am not and he thinks this cause he heard rumours that my friend does, but my friend does not). My mum knows I can never consume any drugs and I myself know I can never as I work at a big 4 consulting firm, and I am studying law. Even though I explained to him (the above) , he still does not believe me and is moody. This has happened before numerous times and I am about to lose it soon cause he just believes stupid rumours even though I assured him they are false. I have his name as my middle name and I really want to remove it because I’m starting to hate him. He says he is protecting me, but I am 21. I would never in my life consume a drug, and it’s sad to believe that he thinks I would. I reassured him it would ruin my career and future, but he still acts toxic by ignoring me, not talking to me, akways thinks that he is right. Just need some help please cause I’m feeling like sh*t

About to start a new job soon and I'm really scared right now.

replies: 4

Hi everyone I graduated from university in December 2020 and I started my first fulltime job in April this year. Fast forward to December I have resigned from the job because it was not really aligned with my career goal and I wasn't really happy there. I do have a new job lined up and I will be starting in two weeks time and I'm really worried. My main worry is that I won't be able to live up to the standard needed. I reread all my applications and I feel that I have not misinterpreted myself and was honest and transparent throughout both application and interview process. During the interview, the panel did say that they are more concerned about the attitude and problem solving mindset rather than what technical skills the applicant possess. I guess the main reasons are because I'm only a recent graduate with only 1 year of experience and I'm about to take on a job which from both salary or skill perspective is geared more towards someone that is much more experienced than me even though the panel did state that this position was essentially a junior level role. Has anyone ever been through something like this before or any tips to stop worrying so much? I have gone through the job advert and have been taking courses on some of the skills that was listed that I'm not really familiar with. Many thanks

just my emotions

replies: 4

hi, im a young teenager, I'm unhappy at the school I currently attend and trying to do everything I can to move but that's not really the topic here, I feel really sad and I always have im extremely anxious all the time especially with school since school isn't my favourite thing and the one I attend atm isn't helping, I have diagnosed anxiety since I was a little kid but I don't know what to do about me feeling so sad all the time, sadness, lack of motivation, constantly tired and lost interest in most things all I wanna do is just stay at home and lay in bed. I haven't gone out with my friends for so long and I barely have any. I have one which is my best friend and I love her with everything I have, but she's moved schools so im scared for next year. I find joy in very few things, talking to my best friend, music and collecting albums, and that's all I can really think of. im not the type of person to open up so making this account and talking about my problems on here was a big step for me. im so worried about what could be wrong with me. I don't want to say or have this come across in a hurtful way but I just want to be normal, im so insecure I just play it off and try and hide it from everyone, I can't focus on things and I have the worst memory im so fidgety and lose track so often. I want to get help and support but I don't know whaat to do like I said before I rarely open up so I don't really talk to my friends about it and I won't talk to my parents about it its just out of my comfort zone and I feel like no one understands. I've been told that people have worse problems then me which is why I think I have such a hard time opening up and I compare myself to other people who struggle (I don't want to but I can't control it) so when I see someone going through a lot I put all my empathy towards them and not myself and when try and focus on myself I compare it to other people and invalidate my own feelings. I want support and where to go from here but I don't know what to do. also there was a lady who specialises in kids mental health and anxiety that my school conselour told my parents to have me go and see but idk if my mum forgot about the lady or not and im too scared to ask.

Should I have agreed to go to formal with him?

replies: 14

I've just been asked over text by a friend to attend his formal at a 'prestigious' private boys school. I found the contents of the text rude initially, and declined, however, I fear I may have overreacted and am worried that I made the wrong decision. He's quite a shy guy with a strict overbearing mother so most of our friendship has been via email. He's a decent guy, if extremely sheltered and a bit egotistical. We both go to decently ranked schools, despite me going to an academically selective school, he's always seemed to look down at me and think that I'm stupid. He has also made passive-aggressive comments in the past about how I'm broke eg I asked him for restaurant recommendations in the suburb he lives in and he suggests place known to be dirt cheap, saying, "it's quite expensive so I'm not sure if you'll be able to afford it." Back to the situation at hand, so he texts me to ask if I'm interested in attending his formal, to which I say yes. Note that he asks if I want to attend, not specifying with him. Then he texts "Umm okay" with the date of the formal. I then say that I will let him know if I am free on that date as I am currently walking my dog and away from my calendar. To which he says "to be honest, I didn't expect you to reply so soon, since we have HSC exams coming up". My immediate reaction was confusion followed by annoyance as I did view it as a backhanded insult- as if suggesting that I wasn't studying enough because I was able to reply to his texts or suggesting I was wrong for walking my dog instead of studying. I genuinely cannot tell if he is just not used to social interaction or if he was making a pass at me (note: the first time he went out without his parents was when he was 17, his mother barely allows him to go out, I have asked to hang in the past and he has always said that his mother won't let him, we have never spent time together outside of church events (because his mother won't let us) and a few years he invited me to another formal before un-inviting me a day later because his mum "won't let him date" I can't tell if he genuinely wants to attend with me or if I'm just a sort of "trophy" for him to bring (at this private boys school, if a boy attends without a date he will receive lots of judgement) my friends tell me that he probably wouldn't look after me at the formal and that we would probably sit in silence the whole time. I keep overthinking whether or not I should have accepted, should I try to fix things?

I don't know who I am anymore

replies: 2

I'm 22 and MTF, I recently had SRS and now I feel more lost than ever. Like what is the point anymore? Like what do I do now? It feels like I've hit a dead end. I'm not really attracted to anyone and I don't think anyone is attracted to me, so I don't know. I'm kind of scared of men because of past trauma and I have trouble being around them, it's causing me a lot of problems. Do you know how I can improve or find purpose?

I have no friends

replies: 6

I’m not to sure how to use this yet, but I just wanted to talk about something my mental health has been getting worse and worse especially in this last semester, and recently I’ve had a falling out with some of my friends, these friends are in most my classes. These friends really did make me happy because of how much fun I had with them, but I’ve been kicked out and I honestly can’t pin point the reasons why, I do know I shouldn’t have said some things but anyway this made me realise how depressed and hopeless I really am, along with the fact that I have virtually no real friends, my ‘best’ friends are still friends with the friends I fell out with and they always talk to them and sit with them at lunch and I have nowhere else to go so I just sit near them and don’t speak. I know it makes it awkward but I literally have no one else to go to. On top of this For years I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts and I really don’t know what to do. i am sorry if this upset or annoyed anyone but I just wanted to vent because I don’t have anyone to talk to

Venting about feeling consistently apathetic towards life

replies: 2

Hey everyone!! I've always been a lurker so this will be my first post. I'm a 22 year old gorl, recently graduated from Bachelor of Science, applied to and accepted an honours offer and aiming to be a psychologist. Which should be exciting but I don't really care and don't have any happiness towards it. Just "oh, that's neat". I chose psychology bc yes, I am interested in and an advocate for mental health, but also bc I got good grades for it so "why not". I think I'd be okay if I also didn't go through with it all, I've never been highly ambitious about my future and I don't think it'll change. I think these feelings exacerbated as I worked more days a week, with 8 or 12 hour shifts. The reality of the cycle solidified in my head. I have to constantly work in order to live. A dumb thought and complaint, but the concept tires me. I work to make money so I can relax from the work. I know it's possible to enjoy the job you have but, once an activity becomes a source of income, I lose the joy that it might have previously brought. With this mindset, I don't have the need for ambition or motivation to do great things or to make great accomplishments as some of my friends do, I just need a steady source of income. Money means a lot to me but also nothing at all simultaneously, it'd be great if I had a lot, but just enough is fine. I don't know if this is concerning or not, bc I don't think it's causing any significant distress impacting my life. But it would be better if I went through with life feeling more okay than meh and more energised than tired, right? My mental health has its ups and downs like everyones. I've experienced social anxiety and OCD-like symptoms across the years, and even struggled with some suicidal ideation/thoughts (which have since passed). Those have dulled down a fair bit and now I'm just going through the motions of life bc it's expected and I'm just existing, you know? I like to believe that I'm fulfilled in other areas. I think I have a good support system and great friends. I have a few hobbies though I rarely stay committed to one. I learnt how to accept my body through the concept of body neutrality, which might also say something. In conclusion, idk, are these just the effects of living in a capitalist society lol. Thank you if you listened to my meaningless rant all the way through, it was a very long one so I appreciate it.

Being unfriended and how to cope

replies: 15

I need advice. Recently I had a big falling out with my ex boyfriend (who I thought I was still on somewhat good terms with) and majority of our mutual friends due to my “not being able to get over the break up” and my mental health issues which have gotten more severe recently due to a heap of other circumstances. I’m in therapy with a counsellor and waiting to see a psychiatrist to work on it more but the general gist is anxiety, depression, and possibly adhd or ptsd (under investigation) anyway this week I noticed that two of my friends and my ex unfriended me and blocked me on social media which I am heartbroken about as I genuinely thought that in a few months once I was in a better place we could work it all out. What do I do now? Where do I go from here?

Feeling hopeless and unemployed

replies: 3

Hey there, this is my first post. I'm 24 I don't have a job or any skills, I was terrible at school and I was told from an early age that I have a language disorder. Through primary and high school I was always behind on my work and was constantly in learning assistance programs throughout my school years. Coming out of high school I went to tafe and struggled to finish my deploma which I didn't complete. As a result of my early schooling I feel as if I can barley articulate myself properly and struggle to find the words that I want to say, or follow a conversation or do anything competently, and struggle to do basic maths of any sort.I've had the odd jobs here and there but nothing lasting more than a year, i can barley hold down a job and just feel as if I wasn't properly prepared for being an adult and feel bitter, stupid and incompetent and quite honestly scared for the future.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

I don't know how to find someone. replies: 7

I want nothing to do with father replies: 4

About to start a new job soon and I'm really scared right now. replies: 4

just my emotions replies: 4

Should I have agreed to go to formal with him? replies: 14

I don't know who I am anymore replies: 2

I have no friends replies: 6

Venting about feeling consistently apathetic towards life replies: 2

Being unfriended and how to cope replies: 15

Feeling hopeless and unemployed replies: 3