Young people

Pinned discussions

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

I feel second best around those who call me their best friend

replies: 6

I’ve been friends with these guys for ages now I’m in 11th grade and known most since grade 3-4 some longer but I can’t help but feel second best it’s like I’m tolerable but not wanted I go to school and it’s just “hey” or “sup” but quite often when someone else comes to school they all get excited it’s like I can’t get it right like am I the issue I try my best I’m the only one who organises days out I’m the one who calms down arguments he’ll I’m the one who try’s the hardest so why the hell can some of these guys tell me that I’m their best friend when they treat me like a substitute like I’m only good when someone else isn’t there but idk I guess I’ve just felt this way for ages now and it’s really starting to effect me the closer and closer we get to the end of school bc who will I have after that

Would just love some advice on feeling goalless, comparing myself and w friends

replies: 13

I am 23, just graduated uni and have struggled with mostly depression and more recently anxiety since I was in high school. I've have never been sure what I will do for a job and am generally pretty unsure of my goals and have very low self esteem. I have a few chronic health conditions which have been a huge contributing factor to my mental health and was the reason I started seeing a psychologist during high school. Speaking to someone was fairly helpful at first but in the past few years whenever I have had psychologist appointments I've just felt like I'm complaining and repeating myself each time and not really getting much from it. I now don't know if I should try and find another psych (haven't had an appointment for 6 months or so) or how to even do that. I have also in the past been on anti-depressants but had major issues with side effects so am not currently taking them. I've spent the last 3-4 months after graduating travelling alone which I have enjoyed as I'm definitely an introvert and recognise I'm quite a difficult person to be around for too long so like knowing I'm not being a burden on anyone around me. But I was starting to get lonely and missing my family about a month ago but also didn't want to go back home because I don't feel like I have much to go back to (other than family) as I have no job and I've had a lot of issues with keeping friends, mostly due to my low confidence and anxiety. My sister has recently met up with me which has been really nice as she is pretty much my best friend but I also recognise I compare myself to her SO much as she really has everything sorted out and is always calling friends and has a lot of ambitions and a great job - and was at the top of her classes in school where I was very average. I can't believe how much of a shift in mood I've noticed since being with her - at first I was loving it but now I am starting to compare myself and feel low and she doesn't really understand/appreciate my mental health as she doesn't have depression or anxiety so is quite quick to jump to me being moody if I am having a low day (like today). I don't really know what I'm hoping from this post but I would just love any advice or to hear if others have similar issues or know how to deal with any of my issues, whether it be comparing to others, having not many friends, low self esteem and/or feeling completely aimless/lacking ambition for my future. Sorry this is such as long post!!!

HSC is near and I'm so lost.

replies: 7

HSC is exactly 12 days away. I'm not really coping well; procrastination, breakdowns and stress are all I have been doing ever since the end of trials. I used to be good at academics, especially in junior years, I used to love learning. And then COVID hit, that's when I started to become lazy and nonchalant. Although I participated in classes, I didn't do the homework or make any good habits. Now HSC is so close and I'm on the verge of giving up. During Trials, I was doing everything last minute, especially memorising. I still have time to study and plan for the HSC but I'm not really that confident in myself anymore. I do 5 subjects and from my trials results, I've failed like three, my rank isn't that good either. My school isn't the best so I'm not sure how my cohort will preform and I probably won't get that good of an overall mark unless I preform really really well. I've read the other forums and discussions on here about HSC, and that's exactly how I feel. Lost, trapped, depressed and even hopeless. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel but right now, it feels as though everything is doomed and that I'm probably going to get an ATAR that won't get me to any university. I know the hype about ATAR lasts about a couple of days and after that no one cares, but to my family, it means the world. I have a brother who's ATAR is 99+. I know that I won't ever live up to that expectation but I don't know, I just wish that was me but I know I didn't put in the effort. Honestly, I don't know what to do or where to start, I just sometimes want to curl into a ball and cry because I'm not motivated to do anything. When I tell my parents that I might be burnt out or just depressed, they just shrug me off and tell me that's not how it works. I know some of my friends who are taking a gap year but I know that's not an option for me. I just, I don't know, already feel like a failure to everyone.

Unnecessary comments from Nana

replies: 4

My nana is always making unnecessary comments after saying things, and they always end up makeing me feel guilty. as an example: "It's nice to see you cleaned the lounge room. I don't see why you can't keep your room clean like this."This isn't something that she has said, but it is pretty similar. these comments usually come after something that she thinks that I did well, and then they make me feel guilty.I have anxious thoughts all the time, and always think of the worst case scenario, so I can't talk to her about it. what should I do.

Is my Sadness Justified?

replies: 2

Hi, I'm a student in year 12 who just graduated today and what should have been a moment to reflect on the joyous pretences of life has instead conjured up dark thoughts within me as I am reminded of my suffering during school. (Context) I was diagnosed with Autism at an early age which has significantly impacted my social skills and made me feel pretty much disconnected from society in general. I never really had any friends and just talking to people and trying to "mask" my symptoms is extremely exhausting. As a result, I feel as though an oppressive air of loneliness has surrounded me for all my years of being; isolated and out of touch with reality as if I'm on the other side of a one-way mirror. Whilst I am introverted and do prefer my own company, the unending loneliness wearies my soul. The thought of having no one to hang with, cry with, live with, and eventually die with is a terrifying concept to me. My sense of misplacement in society has fueled the destruction of my mental health which has caused my once respectable grades to falter which has, in turn, fueled the further destruction of my mental health giving birth to a negative feedback loop of pain, suffering and self-destruction which is eating away at me at an ever-increasing rate. And so as I sit here, in my lowest mental state, I wonder, is my sadness justified? As I glimpse at other people's posts I feel as if my reason for being depressed isn't justifiable. Do I deserve this suffering? I know I can't help the way I was born, but my soulless existence under these unearthly pressures just isn't sustainable anymore. My biggest fear is that now that school is over, I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life working a job I hate only to sustain an unfulfilling, and fruitless existence. I've kind of opened the initial title question up into a big general question about coping with my inherent loneliness in life both now and in the future and its impact on my daily performance, but with respect to the following, what should I do? (P.S; I really can't afford to get my divorced parents into this, It will only make things MUCH worse). Thanks again, to anyone who read this til the end and I hope life is serving you well also.

I am too worried to attend school

replies: 4

My name is Yutong, and I am currently in year 7. I am diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder, which impacted my school grades and caused them to drop. Although it's only my first year of Secondary School, I already want to drop out. Just this week something took place that was so bad I'd rather be in the ICU with a severe illness than face the school situations. I have also been bullied and reported these incidents to my teachers, but that didn't seem to work. Just on Monday I was having a meeting with my year level counsellor, and I accidentally took a photo of her with my phone and sent it to the year level group chat via Snapchat, and I didn't realise I did it until after school. Immediately I recieved messages about why I took photos of other people and posting them on the internet without their permission. I explained that it was an accident, but everyone seemed to be ignoring it. A very annoying girl from my class told me that she had already reported me to the principal for taking photos of others without their permission and she hopes I will get suspended. I tried to delete the photo but it was too late... After my friends heard about this, they decided to dump me. In the past we all took photos of each other, and I took the most. My friends thought that maybe I deserved to get suspended, just like what the annoying girl said, because I don't have the right to take photos of other people. I explained that it was an accident, but once again, nobody listened to me. Great. They dumped me. I am now friendless again. This morning I recieved a email from the principal that I need to go into his office to have a meeting with him at recess. When I read that email I passed out and had to get taken to the nurse's. But turned out it was about teaching me how to be strong and cope with bullying. The people who bullied me got a detention, but at lunch time they took me to the empty corridors and gave me a good hiding. My friends didn't care about this situation, and I am in the process of emailing my teachers again. I am too scared to go to school now. Are there any ways to cope? Looking forward to your replies! Thank you for reading!

Graduating with no friends

replies: 7

Hi all, I just wanted to get this out somewhere and I am grateful it is here. I’m in a dark and uncertain place. I’m graduating next week and although I should feel happy, I am not. Not because I want to stay but because I am fearful of my future. I started at this school in year 11 and it has been really difficult for me. I graduate with no friend group and virtually no friends. I talk to a couple girls and I am grateful for the connection but I have no one to turn to or that I truly feel comfortable around. I am a very shy person so I find it extremely difficult to put myself out there and find friends. Having no friends in my senior year, I feel like there is something wrong with me and that I don’t know how my life is going to go in the future. Im constantly overthinking everything and I feel like im going to be alone forever. I am close with my mum and have a good relationship with my dad but I barely ever talk to my brothers. At the dinner table, everyone talks except me. I feel like I don’t fit in with them and that I have nothing interesting to add to their conversations. I find it hard to relate to them, in fact, I find it hard to relate to anyone. I almost feel like I have no personality and why would anyone want to be friends with me. I feel like im behind in life experiences like everyone around me is ahead. I see my classmates laughing with all of their friends and I can’t help but just jealous and miserable. I have a miserable mindset but I can’t help but feel sick of being around all of these friend groups and feeling lonely and isolated. Im not going to formal next Friday because I feel so out of place not to mention I don’t have a table because I did not make friends. People say that high school is often the easiest and highlight of peoples life and this just makes me feel terrible because I found it so difficult and I have never felt more unhappy. At my old school I had one friend who I was very close with who I would have the best laughs with. We both left that school and she repeated but things just aren’t the same. We have had many fights and although we’re still friends, I feel like that friendship just isn’t as fulfilling as it once was. I know you should always have hope but it is so hard with these current circumstances. Thanks for listening.

Feeling like a failure before HSC

replies: 4

It’s almost 1 month away from HSC and I haven’t tried anything. I haven’t done well in trials or at school assessment as my depression and anxiety has got worse. I feel like a failure because there’s nothing I can do right now and I’ve been heavily burnt out student in academics due to being in a strict private school with bad educational strict environment. I used to be so smart but now I can’t do anything more, and it’s making me feel like a failure like I’m not good enough for the big world out there. I don’t know what to do and I’m forcing myself to study last minute but I feel like that’s not worth it because I had so many months to do so. I’m struggling to do anything and I feel like there’s nothing left for me to do as I force myself to study last minute which feels hopeless.

Overwhelmed By Uni, Work, Future

replies: 6

I'm 19 in my second semester of uni, doing courses that I love. And yet my anxiety has got to the point where I haven't been able to go to class, I haven't been able to do my online studies, I haven't even been able to start assignments due a week ago. I can't quit uni because I'll lose the government financial support and I won't even be able to make it up by working more because I just do not have the mental capacity to work more. I quit my second job, although I need the money, in the hopes that I could focus more on uni, but it hasn't helped.I have goals and a future I aspire to and yet I can't start any of the steps that I know will get me there, like saving money, studying and managing my mental issues. I've dug into my meagre savings relentlessly over the last few weeks; I don't have the energy to make food so I get it from cafes or those food delivery services that I can't afford, I buy unnecessary things despite telling myself about what I want to save for. Its like I'm fighting with myself constantly over what I want versus feeling like I'll never get to it so why bother saving. Everything just feels overwhelmingly difficult, despite the fact that logically, my goals are attainable and if I was my usual self, not difficult at all.I've isolated myself from my friends, I've isolated myself from my uni classmates, and I'm constantly thinking of ways to isolate myself from my family. I don't want to do any of this.I'm working with a pscychologist but I can't get past this mental block that stops me from telling them everything that I want to. It feels like a physical block and it takes all of my energy just to get out a little bit. I don't have the energy or the will to do what they suggest no matter how much I want to.I feel useless, empty and broken. I feel like I don't even exist anymore. I feel like I'm stuck floating around this space with everything I want just out of reach.I'm sorry this was more of a rant than anything but I guess my questions at the end of it all is what do you do when it all feels like its falling to pieces around you? Are there avenues in uni that can force me to keep on top of it all? Because apparently I have no willpower of my own to keep me in check even when its about the things I want the most. How do I get everything I want to say out of my head?

Coping?

replies: 3

Hey, this post is kinda just a rant I guess (anyone can feel free to comment/join in). Do you ever just feel like nobody cares until you're not coping? Until you are so lost inside your own thoughts that the effort it would take to help yourself is enormous? It just feels like no matter how many times I tell/want to tell someone that I'm not quite okay. There is always either an internal or external voice telling me that there's nothing anyone can do until your struggling to stay afloat. It's a bad system and I think it's something that really needs to change. Anyway there's my rant, thanks for reading Goldfish

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

I feel second best around those who call me their best friend replies: 6

Would just love some advice on feeling goalless, comparing myself and w friends replies: 13

HSC is near and I'm so lost. replies: 7

Unnecessary comments from Nana replies: 4

Is my Sadness Justified? replies: 2

I am too worried to attend school replies: 4

Graduating with no friends replies: 7

Feeling like a failure before HSC replies: 4

Overwhelmed By Uni, Work, Future replies: 6

Coping? replies: 3