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I'm just a kid
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Hi, I'm a 16 year old high schooler right now going through a lot.
My mum has depression and she's been in a severe depressive period for about a year now. The worst time of my life was about a few months ago, she was forced out of a public mental health hospital and she felt so hopeless that she threatened to kill herself in front of me and my dad, so we had to lock all the doors in the house, hide objects, and give her strong medication to calm down. We had tried calling the ambulance before, and she's been to a lot of mental health hospitals, public and private, but the public hospitals were all so bad and right now she's in a private mental health hospital. She's better than before, but still not great, she's still on addictive PRN medication.
I'm just worried about her, I just want her to get better already. It's been a year, I feel like I've suffered enough from worry. My dad is also working nonstop everyday, and its driving me insane since he won't rest, he's always working or taking care of some stuff that has to do with mum. I'm so worried about him as well. He also always shouts at me and I feel terrible when he does, but I can't even blame him, he's going through so much right now.
I'm only 16 years old, why do I have to go through this now? I'm in grade 11, and very soon to be in grade 12, and I'm so nervous about it. What do I do? I can't do anything about it. It feels so helpless. I'm so worried about my future, my parents. I'm so nervous, angry and worried all the time.
On top of all of this, I genuinely don't have any real friends. The one friend I did talk to didn't even care. I knew that friend for almost 6 years, and when I needed help coping with my mum being suicidal, his only responses were "oh snap", "I'm so sorry", and after 1 week he never mentioned it again. Like, are you serious? I'm just so disappointed and mad at him.
This is getting really long but I still have so much on my mind. What I've written is the main things. I just don't know what to do. I want to stop coping and just be able to feel happy again. I feel so terrible everyday, I'm skipping school today just to write this because I feel so stuck. I hate my life. Writing all this out didn't even make me feel better.
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Thank you for sharing with us here. We can hear you’ve been through some really difficult stuff and are feeling really worried your parents. We’re really glad you could come and share this here, it’s not an easy thing to do and we really admire you doing so.
We’re reaching out to you privately to check you’re ok. In the meantime, we’d really encourage you to give us a call on the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer: Hopefully, you’ll hear from this lovely community soon. Maybe you could help them along by letting us know what kind of support you have at the moment, and if anyone around you is helpful or understanding with how you’re feeling like a school counsellor or a pyschologist?
Kind regards,
Sophie M
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Hey dyno7, i know you posted this awhile ago but maybe you will still see this.
i can relate to you even though im in my twenties now, when i was younger my mum went through similar problems. She too was in hospital and I remember being scared and worried for her. My mum still requires medication now but she isnt bad anymore. Sometimes it takes time for medication to work or even to find the right medication or treatment.
Not getting the right support from your friend must have hurt but sometimes its hard for people to understand if they haven’t gone through it. There are people on here though like myself who understand and are here for you.