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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Just_some_weird_chick Social phobia - do I really need a diagnosis to get better? :/
  • replies: 5

Hi, Warning; migraine induced rant. I've never spoken about my feelings with anyone before, so this is a little bit hard for me. I hope it all makes sense. A friend shared a SAD link on Facebook last week and almost everything in the article related ... View more

Hi, Warning; migraine induced rant. I've never spoken about my feelings with anyone before, so this is a little bit hard for me. I hope it all makes sense. A friend shared a SAD link on Facebook last week and almost everything in the article related to me. I did a bit of research and I'm pretty sure I've had SAD my whole life. Every article I've read has suggested getting a diagnosis. I want to listen to this advice, but I've spent three days worrying about how and why to get a diagnosis and now I've given myself a migraine over it. I'm an unemployed uni student so I can't afford to go to a psychologist. I live in a small town, too, so I'd be worried someone would see my car parked there. I don't know if a GP is the right person to go to, either. I keep worrying that they'll tell me I don't have SAD and to just live with it, or that I need to see a psychologist for a diagnosis, or I won't even be able to speak to the doctor once I get in there; that has happened before. The website for the GP doesn't say which docs are bulk billing and which aren't, so I'll have to call to make an appointment. I tried to call today, but couldn't make myself do it. I'm not entirely sure I have SAD. I avoid situations where I'll be invited to social events (if that makes sense), but if I'm invited to an event I almost always go with only a little anxiety beforehand - although I always regret it as soon as I'm there and lose sleep over it for at least a week afterwards. I have never been able to have a normal conversation with anyone except my mum and one particular friend (my only friend). I can get really anxious about things I do all the time, like going to the shops or gym, but I can make myself go 98% of the time. I can answer the phone, but that's because the fear of answering isn't as great as the fear of calling them back. I know a lot of people with SAD have the same dilemma and I'm not alone (although it feels like I am). But do I really need a diagnosis to start 'getting better'? Now that I'm (pretty) sure I have it, can't I just deal with it and fix it alone? I'm tired of living like this, but just can't make myself get help.

Parmigiana Feel like I don't know myself and who I am changes
  • replies: 2

I feel like who I was last night and this morning isn't someone who I recognize. The memories don't feel like mine, or at least they feel like a dream, only they did happen. I've had dreams feel like real memories before, but never something that fee... View more

I feel like who I was last night and this morning isn't someone who I recognize. The memories don't feel like mine, or at least they feel like a dream, only they did happen. I've had dreams feel like real memories before, but never something that feels for all intents and purposes like a dream, only for the fact that I know it happened, the people involved know it happened and the effects of it have resonated throughout my day. I feel different now, but still not myself, and I find it hard to recall myself through the fog in my brain. This comes from(before last night) knowing who I was with almost certainty, and having confidence in myself as a human being.

Em7 Why do I let the fear of failure get to me so much?
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm in my first year of my degree and I love what im studying (I'm studying nutrition). My problems is that I have a habit of not doing things or leaving them to the last minute simply because i'll spend most of the time thinking 'what's the poin... View more

Hi, I'm in my first year of my degree and I love what im studying (I'm studying nutrition). My problems is that I have a habit of not doing things or leaving them to the last minute simply because i'll spend most of the time thinking 'what's the point, I'll never succeed or get anywhere'. My highschool years were not great. I felt so unintelligent compared to all the other girls, my struggles were always right there on my shoulders weighing down any potential I had. I embraced my bad grades and at one point became proud of them, taking them as jokes and laughing with others about it. That is until one day i realised that that's not who i wanted to be. As organised as I can be in uni, I go through these funks where it will take me a week to actually start something. I go through so much self pity that I become so depressed. I don't have friends at uni (my class consists of mainly people I have little in common with, fake people). I never used to be insecure and now all my insecurities are coming out and I honestly don't know how to handle them. I feel as though I'm missing out on my life by not enjoying it. I have already failed two units and I'm afraid that I'll fail more this trimester. Its my own fault, I hardly attended any classes because my motivation was at zero. I'm afraid that I wont ever do anything with my life and I know it's up to me to change but I'm lost and confused. Thank you for reading this much needed vent.

Amy23 New
  • replies: 10

Hi, I'm new on here and I want to be able to talk to someone (I am not giving away personal thing)

Hi, I'm new on here and I want to be able to talk to someone (I am not giving away personal thing)

Touni Fear of Depression
  • replies: 2

Hi I'm new. I've been in recovery from depression for two years but the fear of it coming back is consuming me. I try to control everything, so I don't relapse but I'm still paralysed by the fear. I do everything :I eat healthy, I take my medication,... View more

Hi I'm new. I've been in recovery from depression for two years but the fear of it coming back is consuming me. I try to control everything, so I don't relapse but I'm still paralysed by the fear. I do everything :I eat healthy, I take my medication, I do yoga but last month or so I haven't exercised and the guilt is eating away at me. What if I relapse because i haven't been exercising?

lilybee Obsessive food related anxiety?
  • replies: 2

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I don't know where else to go and I'm getting really worked up about it. I have generalised anxiety disorder and it seems to "latch onto" something every few months. Since about christmas of l... View more

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I don't know where else to go and I'm getting really worked up about it. I have generalised anxiety disorder and it seems to "latch onto" something every few months. Since about christmas of last year, I've felt chubby and gross. I've been obsessing over looking at my stomach in the mirror, or the flab on my arms, or the fat on my thighs. I tried a calorie counting app for about two weeks, but I got too obsessed so I deleted it before it got any worse. I'm a healthy weight supposedly, my doctor confirmed what everyone tells me, but I hate seeing my stomach grow through the day, even though it's perfectly natural. I keep seeing all these girls with flat stomachs and toned arms, and I know that they live in the gym and watch what they eat because that's what they like, but I can't help but chew myself out for not being like them. I feel gross and I'm just not sure how to get over this thought habit? I've tried telling myself over and over that I'm fine, but I feel like I'm lying to myself. Sorry for the word vomit, I can't find an eloquent way to say it. Any advice would be so good, I just want to feel normal-ish again.

lucagabriella Not sure how this works?
  • replies: 36

Hi, I am kind of new to this site, or any kind of mental health forum. I no longer feel like I have any words to say how I feel exactly, and that everything I do feel is kind of just a big blur of different points in my life that have all led to this... View more

Hi, I am kind of new to this site, or any kind of mental health forum. I no longer feel like I have any words to say how I feel exactly, and that everything I do feel is kind of just a big blur of different points in my life that have all led to this moment. I feel the need to share everything I feel but also keep it to myself, and nights like these it becomes very difficult to contain my emotions. I very much hate the person I am and can see that it influences my relationships with others, and obviously eats away at my own self-esteem. I don't wish I was dead, but I often wish that I was someone else, or that I could be someone else and have traits I feel would make me a better person. I don't want someone to tell me to not feel this way because I don't particularly remember a point in my life where I was completely at peace with who I am as a person, and so simply telling me to stop thinking like this I feel is kind of just dismissive. I no longer feel like I can talk to my friends about these feelings because not only do they go through their own dramas, but they tell me often that I am the only person who can help myself. I don't feel like I can talk to a stranger because they do not know me at all; not my past or the way I deal with things or the way I think... how could they help me if I cannot help myself? I am afraid of so many things in my life. I am afraid to see people and catch up with them, I am afraid of parties and I am afraid of simply walking my dog past the main road. I am afraid to get intimate with people I care about. Sometimes situations make me so excited that it becomes so overwhelming I get scared, and so I avoid it. I am afraid of so many situations and possibilities and the future and the past and I hate myself so much because I feel it ruining my relationships with others. I want to be confident and I want to feel good in social situations - not disgusting and awkward and nervous. I want someone to give me the answers, or 'fix' it, but I know that is not how it works. I am here to ask what I should do, because I don't want to be like this anymore, I honestly cannot.

La1aM Can't do what I love...
  • replies: 5

Hi,I'm 14 and I've always wanted to be a ballerina, and a lot of people day that it's a little kid dream and more importantly that I could never become a balleria. Ballet and dance in general make me feel amazing, when I dance it's like I get transpo... View more

Hi,I'm 14 and I've always wanted to be a ballerina, and a lot of people day that it's a little kid dream and more importantly that I could never become a balleria. Ballet and dance in general make me feel amazing, when I dance it's like I get transported into a whole nother world. I feel like I could fly when I dance, and the connection I have with it is so magical. Every ballerina starts ballet when he or she of around the age of 3 and I'm really scared to try and persue my dream because everyone will be so much more talented than me and I'm scared I'll be in the same class as a 7 year old. Another big factor is cost, ballet is so expensive and my family just can't afford to pay for everything especially since I'm so much older. It just makes me feel really upset and discouraged to know that I can't persue my dream of becoming a ballerina and doing what I love and makes me truly happy just because of money or age...

Frankl15 Don’t know why I’m feeling like this
  • replies: 6

For the last two nights I hadn’t slept properly because every time I close my eyes scary thoughts pop into my head that then keeps me up. I’m thinking hard on taking my anxiety medication but scared of the side effects that I had read. I’ve been tryi... View more

For the last two nights I hadn’t slept properly because every time I close my eyes scary thoughts pop into my head that then keeps me up. I’m thinking hard on taking my anxiety medication but scared of the side effects that I had read. I’ve been trying to tackle my anxiety with other methods - Drawing is my Passion and the only thing that I do when I’m anxious apart from sleeping. Recently this person that I liked ghosted me and social media , my depression started after that happened and whenever I think about that person these scary thoughts pop up that stop me from thinking about him. Maybe my mind associates that as being traumatic for and causes these thoughts or am I losing it ?? ! I’m pretty social I’ve never had any problems with college lifestyle - and I’m pretty happy so I don’t know why these thoughts effect me. Help Anyone ? P.S I’m looking into councilling but the system is pretty weird at University.

Anon_def21 Her pain ended, mine worsened
  • replies: 1

Hi there, I'm a newbie to this but I thought I'd give this a go a speak out. Here's a bit of context... My life was rattled, starting two years ago. I used to think I had the most amazing life until darkness started impeding on me. BOOM! Year 11, hig... View more

Hi there, I'm a newbie to this but I thought I'd give this a go a speak out. Here's a bit of context... My life was rattled, starting two years ago. I used to think I had the most amazing life until darkness started impeding on me. BOOM! Year 11, highly anxious person, constantly trying to reach others high expectations of me being the ' good child', the ' smart one', the ' happiest and nicest person there is.' I felt like I was wearing a mask all the time, I never revealed how I truly felt or what was going on at home. My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 glioblastoma brain cancer... the day I saw her shaking , her mouth drooping, nearly falling off her face, her speech slurring and hearing her say her arms felt numb... then seeing my older sisters rush her to hospital the day with were throwing a family party is a day I WILL NEVER FORGET. Then weeks lately finding out the truth of what she had or what had caused this to happen. Painful. Time progressed to when I was in year 12 , ' The big year', I saw mum fully deteriorate to the point where she didn't even look like my mother, she was unrecognisable. But her heart of pure gold was still radiating from her crippling body, trapping her. Seeing her smile when I achieved A-grade results, pushed me to keep achieving high marks. Soon I became college captain for year 12 , everyone knew me. But did they actually truly know me... what I'm going through at home... the family conflicts, the pain, the torture, the projective anger all my family members were putting on each other as the stress and anxiety just got too much. I spiralled, saw sooo many different counsellors. When exams came, I honestly don't know how I survived, but I did and somehow got an amazing ATAR. But it as half way through year 12, my closest friend, my mother, the person who truly understood me, started to not be able to pick which person in the picture was me. Her memory started to fade. Hospitals became home. Then one night, her breathing was irregular. One point she was breathing, the next it stopped, then started again. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I saw my mum 'alive'. She died, I saw her dead body, I can't get that picture out of my head. Now I'm truly struggling to get through university without her. She believed in me and was the only one who had the ability to lift me up from the lowest of lows. But she's not here anymore, I will never see her again. The greatest person, VANISHED. WHY? Most of all, I miss saying to her, "I love you mum"

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