Lost on Planet Earth

[Infinite_Faith]

HI,

When you think about the universe the size of it....one has to sit back astonished. Compare that with Earth or ourselves and I don't know about you but I feel small. Tiny really, possibly insignificant. I mention this because sometimes when I think about depression and the vastness of the universe, something goes off in my head. I think it might be that when I'm feeling the depression, I equate that with my worthlessness in comparison to the universe. I also get angry and frustrated about life and death because I don't understand its purpose. When I don't undersand its purpose, what's the point? You are only going to die anyway right?

I undersand this is not generally healthy thinking. It's probably not something Paris Hilton would ponder (or does she?) I would like to know what all this planet earth deal is all about? But no one knows.....and that annoys me. Purpose, purpose purpose, isn't that important? Isn't that what we are really doing, living not knowing the purpose? The answer of course is yes, no one knows. Just get on with it. Distract yourself and don't think about purpose. (Well unless you might like to go the higher power route...which I don't)

If there was a higher power, we might see 'it' at work as least once. Is it to much to ask for one miracle (Per week :P) Feed the starving? Heal the Mentally Ill?

I'm not sure why I came to this forum. I can't think of any questions. Maybe just typing out ones thoughts could help. (I am half expecting this to be rejected...probably breaching some forum rules.....I read them, I promise :))

Maybe I might make a friend. Thats something I don't have. When I was a kid, I never thought about friends, I guess I was focused on my instrument playing, but now as I am older, I miss not having a close friend. Though I could never keep them when I was drinking, which I quit about 3 years ago. (Along with smoking) That's the other thing, what did I do that for....hey, I'm depressed, that just increases my life expectancy. 😛 (Proves I'm mental)

I mention friends because I have been doing some reading and it seems (and I will let the pro's take over here) that maintaining friendships and family relations are probably one of the most important things in life. Hey, no one ever told me that. Besides my famiily is a mess.....and there is little hope of a happy family reunion. (But you can pick your friends right?)

Something I have to working on, finding friends.

Thanks IF

[Gazzas]

Hi IF,

We are talking about the universe, etc and what we feel about it, out place in it and it's all different. You don't need to be religious or have a radically different belief system to see things totally differently. It's the glass half full thing/optimism vs pessimism. A couple of people, a doctor and another person on here told me depression plays on your mind and pushes you to see the worst, look at everything negatively. Considering the last few days I think that is true. A few days ago I was so low I was considering you know what again. I went to the doctor although I really didn't want to and he showed compassion and concern for me and referred me to this site. It was such a huge thing to not feel alone in my pain for that moment, to feel connected. Nothing has changed for me except perspective. Right now I want to climb out of this.

Maybe there is no solution. I don't know what will happen. Life is a struggle for everyone no matter how mentally healthy they are. People on here who know about the extreme lows of depression and are in a better place now say they still have to constantly fight it but I believe that it is a purpose and pride in that purpose that drives you to fight.

What do you believe in? What do you love? Is there something you always wanted to do? What would make you feel proud? Why can't you pursue it whatever it is?

I'm a really messed up person. I am ashamed of what I've been doing in recent years. I don't want to do pointless work for companies that do nothing for anyone any more.

[Gazzas]

IF:

I am one who always tries to look too far ahead, but as both you and Mary have said, baby steps/one day at a time. Thank you

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi Mary,

In regard to the post above "5 February 2017 in reply to White Rose" where you state ' I am a little confused by your last post....'

I have no idea what I was talking about. Must have had got my wires crossed.

No harm done I hope. 🙂

Hope you are well.

Kind Regards

Steve (IF)