Lost on Planet Earth

[Infinite_Faith]

HI,

When you think about the universe the size of it....one has to sit back astonished. Compare that with Earth or ourselves and I don't know about you but I feel small. Tiny really, possibly insignificant. I mention this because sometimes when I think about depression and the vastness of the universe, something goes off in my head. I think it might be that when I'm feeling the depression, I equate that with my worthlessness in comparison to the universe. I also get angry and frustrated about life and death because I don't understand its purpose. When I don't undersand its purpose, what's the point? You are only going to die anyway right?

I undersand this is not generally healthy thinking. It's probably not something Paris Hilton would ponder (or does she?) I would like to know what all this planet earth deal is all about? But no one knows.....and that annoys me. Purpose, purpose purpose, isn't that important? Isn't that what we are really doing, living not knowing the purpose? The answer of course is yes, no one knows. Just get on with it. Distract yourself and don't think about purpose. (Well unless you might like to go the higher power route...which I don't)

If there was a higher power, we might see 'it' at work as least once. Is it to much to ask for one miracle (Per week :P) Feed the starving? Heal the Mentally Ill?

I'm not sure why I came to this forum. I can't think of any questions. Maybe just typing out ones thoughts could help. (I am half expecting this to be rejected...probably breaching some forum rules.....I read them, I promise :))

Maybe I might make a friend. Thats something I don't have. When I was a kid, I never thought about friends, I guess I was focused on my instrument playing, but now as I am older, I miss not having a close friend. Though I could never keep them when I was drinking, which I quit about 3 years ago. (Along with smoking) That's the other thing, what did I do that for....hey, I'm depressed, that just increases my life expectancy. 😛 (Proves I'm mental)

I mention friends because I have been doing some reading and it seems (and I will let the pro's take over here) that maintaining friendships and family relations are probably one of the most important things in life. Hey, no one ever told me that. Besides my famiily is a mess.....and there is little hope of a happy family reunion. (But you can pick your friends right?)

Something I have to working on, finding friends.

Thanks IF

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi Lee,

Calculus is a lot of family fun. haha (Not)

🙂

[Vorbis]

Existential angst is the form my depression takes too. Solidarity, brother.

I'm not sure if any of the half-answers I have will help you, but it might at least be a place to start.

So, first off, what is the point, we're all going to die anyway. This is very true. When I think about this question, one of the most interesting properties of the Universe comes to mind: The fact that of all the dimensions, time is the only one that only goes in one direction.

You can walk forwards and backwards, but only go one way in time. That offers a useful starting point. It means the human race is racing *to*. We don't know where. But each generation accumulates knowledge, and that knowledge might be useful to the one that follows us. We might not have enough pieces of the puzzle to know if there's a point to life - but we can collect pieces, and a future generation might be able to assemble them.

Practically, that means that what should you do with your life? Something that's never been done. It might be new science research. It might be preserving current information in an underground bunker for in case the planet gets nuked and the species after us could use a cheat sheet. Lots of options, but add to our collective knowledge somehow.

Secondly because we're all going to die, you can't live for future generations. I know I've just said acquire knowledge for them - do! But they won't appreciate it. They can't. Anything they're born with they *have* to take for granted. To kids now, refrigerators have always existed. It's great, but they can't *appreciate* it the way someone born without them could.

Don't live for a legacy. You have to live for you. And like your research suggests, that means strengthening human bonds. The quality of your happiness will be most greatly affected by how good your relationships are with the people you spend the most time with.

So put in the time to learn how to human well.

Some people are born ace at it, most of us frankly aren't. I suck, personally. But I can study. I can practice talking clearly, making my voice one people want to listen to and not monotonous. I can learn how to listen attentively. I can take a genuine interest in each person I speak to, to find out what uniquely makes them tick. I find out how I can help them.

I practice facial expressions too, since I have resting bitch face lol. So much of communication is unspoken - I want to learn to make my face say what I intend it to.

Good luck with it all, Vorbis

[White_Rose]

Hello IF

I hope you get the time to read at least one of the books above. As you say we can help ourselves in many ways, but this requires energy and motivation. I think it is easy to intellectualise our learning without practising putting it into action. For example, many years ago a psych tried to get me to do some CBT. He produced a form with lots of columns and headings and told me to think of a situation where I got upset, then using the form practice changing my thinking.

First of all he did give me a clear explanation of CBT or how to do the tasks. I think I am pretty cluey but this baffled me. Here were all the parts contained in the incident ending with what could I have done. Learning how manage my emotions one case study, so to speak, at a time seems a long way round. I knew the idea was to generalise the information to other situations, but for the life of me I could not see how or what.

It was all in my mind instead of being in my brain. After a short time I gave it away. I needed to discuss all these steps but then I realised he had made the whole thing so complicated that I was focussing on how to fill in the form instead of learning how to cope.

It's easy to read books or join a chat group and feel you have expanded your knowledge. And you probably have done this. But it needs more. Learn something small and put it into practice, repeating the action frequently so that it becomes almost an automatic action. Getting out of bed is a good example. If you manage that every day that's great. If you get up within half an hour of waking it's even better. Then you can work showering and dressing.

Why should you get up in the morning? Well I presume you need to go to work and doing that is rewarded by your pay cheque. But that reward may be too far away, even if you are paid weekly. So what else will get you up. I know people who have pets find the pet will jump all over them in the morning because they want their breakfast. It's a nice thought and the benefits extend to taking the dog for a walk and getting some exercise.

Is there something you are going to miss out on by staying in bed? If you get up early you can have a long shower, or perhaps a soak in the bath before going out. You can probably find other things that suit you.

One last word, or two. Do you have any professional help? GP, psychologist etc? These people can help you to set goals and achieve them.

Mary

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi Mary,

I see a psychiatrist every 6 weeks. My depression is compounded by somewhat of a cluttered mess I find myself living in. I'm not talking garbage bags and news paper all over the floor, I am talking about I minor (Or major) hording problem that has left my house very cluttered. What is it cluttered with? Mostly musical instruments. It's reasonably tidy but the clutter is driving me insane and I can't seem to find a place to start sorting. (I can't get started) Its become overwhelming.

I have real trouble parting with objects and I don't know why. I hate being like this. I would like to be able to just say "right I am cleaning all this area up" "Bin, bin, bin" like most others seem to be able to do. I get attached to objects especially my instruments. But it can be anything really.

I'm the "that might come in handy one day" guy. But I don't like it.

Clutter is contributing to my depression. (I'm sure) 😞

IF

[White_Rose]

Hello again IF

Ah, the hoarding dilemma, I know it well. I have a whole house full of 'stuff'. Mostly I use it and some of it is keepsakes and family 'heirlooms'. I decided to clean out my wardrobe including the drawers and shelves inside the wardrobe. Knowing my tendency to keep things because... I enlisted my daughter's aid. It's always easier for someone else to throw out your junk. So we started with the shelves and drawers. My granddaughter was also there and enjoyed looking through Grandma's things. She volunteered to take some jewellery off my hands.

Nothing disappeared without my permission, but it was amazing how I could say goodbye when someone was encouraging me. You certainly do not want someone who takes charge and everything is in the bin before you can blink. Choose someone who has respect for you and your goodies but who can talk sensibly about what to throw and what to keep.

Unless you have need of a skip, I suggest you ask this person to take your throw-outs away with them. Or get a trailer and take them to the tip straight away, with your friend. I felt so much lighter after I had done this and I have not missed anything.

If there is a lot to go through, ask your friend to come back, say in a week. Keep up the momentum. Stick with one area at a time. Once you have created a space or two it will be a huge incentive to make the rest of your home look as good.

Of course the biggest difficulty is to stop yourself immediately replacing everything. My grandson came to live with me nearly three years ago. You cannot imagine what I had to organise to give him a bedroom where he could keep his stuff without needing to plough through mine first. Actually he did quite well out of it in the end. He kept my big desk that I used with my various crafts. I still miss it but we could never have got it out of the room. And he still has my mother's blanket chest in his wardrobe.

Hopefully this will inspire you to de-clutter without too much separation anxiety.

Mary

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi Rose,

Ahh no. lost a long post. (I was warned it happens)

I see you are well versed in all aspects of the hoarding. I hope you are cured of any further hoarding. I on the other hand have some 'separation anxiety' heading my way. This is going to be really tough at various stages.

Its so eye opening when you realize that for all those years you purchased, collected, were gifted 100 upon 100 of more or less useless household items. We never think that one day we have to get ride of all this stuff.

I suppose its a bit like being young, you are going to live forever and you are indestructible

Hope all is well in your world

IF.

[Gazzas]

Hi IF,

I know what you mean in your original post, and I am also of the opinion that there's a big problem with our society causing depression. For many people myself included, work makes no sense, negative behaviours like selfishness, lying and greed are encouraged, there is so much evil.

It's interesting though when you talk about the vastness of the universe and that causing depression. I know what you mean but if you lay down and look up at the stars at night does it make you feel depressed? For me it's the opposite. Something doesn't add up there.

Clutter depresses me as well. When living in apartments I didn't have clutter, but the small spaces depressed me. My mum's house is pretty cluttered and that's depressing but not as much as being in small dingy rooms. The clutter makes you feel tied down. I know that bothers my mum.

I also am very lonely, no friends. I wouldn't mind chatting to someone as well. I don't think there is anything on this site? Maybe we could meet in an IRC channel or something.

[Infinite_Faith]

Hi Gazzas,

Yes my original post was way out there. Possibly somewhere on planet Zeon. (I'm not sure what I was on about) As far as being friends we can certainly say hello in here.

Its interesting your mum say's the "The clutter makes you (her) feel tied down." I'd not heard that said before buts very true. I get so weighed down with it at times that I fantasize about owning nothing. Just the cloths I am wearing. Can you imagine the feeling that might have. It depends. I lived on the streets with my 2 younger brothers at times, and we literally had nothing but our cloths.

We I thinking about the freedom that comes with having nothing....harldly, I was more likely thinking with I was sleeping or finding something to eat.

Nice to meet you

Cheers

IF

[White_Rose]

Hello Gazzas

Nice to meet you and welcome to Beyond Blue. If you would like to chat generally with others I suggest you explore the BB Social Zone forum, second from the top on the list of forums. You can play word games, meet in the cafe ordering whatever you like, tell your story etc. The only thing you cannot do is make physical contact with another person on BB. This forum is a safe site for those who need to talk openly, secure in the knowledge that they cannot be identified. No one is able to post email or other addresses or phone numbers etc.

I hope you will continue to post and support others. Posting support is as valuable to the giver as the receiver. Perhaps you can start your own thread and tell us your story there. I would like to get to know you better.

Mary

[White_Rose]

Hello IF

I did not say de-cluttering was easy. My daughter would have got rid of more than I would allow, but it's a start. Yes I also have separation anxiety and the thought of consigning my dearly loved articles gets me feeling as though I am losing/have lost precious parts of me. That's why I got my daughter here. She knows how hard it is to throw away those things we have treasured.

My church runs an op shop which daughters find useful. They have somewhere to send their children's outgrown clothes and toys. If you can bring yourself to start sorting, what about giving these possessions to someone or something else. For some reason, now unclear, I collected teddy bears and amassed a collection that was threatening to take over the house. In the end I kept about six, packed the rest up and gave them to an organisation that counsels children. The teddies were dressed in different costumes, farmer, doctor, gardener, pilot, nurse and so on, which is why I thought the counselling service would find them useful. And they did.

My point is that it was easier to give my possessions to someone and feel they would be used rather than dumped at the tip. I know I suggested this in my previous post and I realise this only makes the parting more difficult.

I definitely agree that possessions weigh you down.

Mary