How to tackle my perceived "resistance to change" in therapy?
- replies: 3
My therapist (“Dr D”) got frustrated, labelling me resistant to change. I reject the claim stated that generalised. However, there is a pattern over my life and the year with Dr D which could be reasonably interpreted that way. Dr D’s homework assign... View more
My therapist (“Dr D”) got frustrated, labelling me resistant to change. I reject the claim stated that generalised. However, there is a pattern over my life and the year with Dr D which could be reasonably interpreted that way. Dr D’s homework assignment: why I am resistant? I’m at a loss how to start. If it was that easy to uncover, I’d have found clarity some time in my previous multiple decades of talking, writing and reading about a maladjusted life. I did extended work on my mental illnesses and personal struggles, and intermittently saw positive or dismaying results from professionals, programs and peer support groups. Including discouragement with, and/or criticism about: SSRIs, SNRIs, CBT, ACT, DBT, 12-Step programs, mindfulness, EFT, etc. I have several ideas about what is critical for changes, shared with Dr D. She dismissed most as either too academic, or too situation-specific, or too much about distancing from my own emotions and experiences, or too depersonalised to offer ways to take responsibility. For an example, I have had chaotic sleep patterns for years. I started trialling a new medication, forcing me to be consistent rising, eating then dosing before 8AM in order to avoid problems with the medication suppressing my appetite or later interfering with my sleep. I worked on my morning routine, but failed to tackle my social-media-until-after-1AM habit. My earlier rising produced fatigue that muddled the potential benefits of the medication. I saw this as doing the best I can with my limited self-control and attention. Dr D apparently sees it as me sabotaging the meds trial, or me blaming professionals for not giving me infallibly complete instructions. I should be taking more responsibility to do problem-solving to get on top of both my sleep and my medication in a way that works for me. Could there be some motivation that explains me not being fully enthusiastic about trialling the medication? That also throws light on my alphabet soup of past discouragements and rejections above? Seems unlikely. Should I try exercises built abound finding your place on the "stages of change" aka Prochaska's Transtheoretical model? Writing a play splitting myself into an enthusiastic persona versus a negative one to have them talk it out? Analyzing a table of pros and cons? Imagining a rock-bottom catastrophe that would make imperfect remedies seem worth it? Something else? What?
