Struggling to get help

Doolhof · ‎21-03-2023

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care.

Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country.

My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment.

The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me!

Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment. A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions".

I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you". The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over.

Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

quirkywords · ‎07-08-2023

Dools,

So well done articulating what you needed and how the communication needs improving.

I hope you were proud of yourself. I am pleased how you managed a potentially stressful

situation.

I think planning enjoyable things to do, read, is it, friends and family to visit when husband is away is a good idea.

Are you feeling ok about the time he will be away.
quirky

i

Eagle Ray · ‎07-08-2023

Dear Dools,

I’m really glad the meeting went better than expected. It sounds like you were able to communicate your needs, even though it was hard at times and even though you felt they weren’t accepting your feedback re: communication and your existing workload.

It was good you were able to ask for a quiet office. People vary in their ability to manage surrounding distractions, so if they are able to meet your need for a quieter workspace that is great.

I hope all goes well with the new training and you can feel a bit more settled now the meeting is over.

Earlier today I was listening to a podcast where the speaker mentioned restorative yoga. It reminded me that a couple of years ago I went to a restorative yoga class for a while and it was a very gentle and nurturing form of yoga. I’ve tried a couple of classes of restorative yoga near where I live now that I felt weren’t quite as good, but got so much benefit from the one I was doing two years ago. I just thought I’d mention it in case it is something you would find helpful. It is sometimes called yin yoga. It is really relaxation-based with gentle stretches and much less demanding than some other forms of yoga. I was going through a very stressful time then and I found it really calmed down my nervous system and it was very healing in the body which in turn helped the distress in my mind (at the time I was dealing with a specific trauma).

No pressure to try it. I just thought I’d mention it. I don’t know if your yoga mat is still in one piece or if the cats have shredded it! With the class I went to all things were provided anyway. It’s only a suggestion.

I hope you have a restful and peaceful evening.

Summer Rose · ‎07-08-2023

Hi Dools

I’m glad you made it through the meeting and that you were able to advocate for yourself. I can understand how difficult it must have been for you.

Kind of a strange meeting though, don’t you think? Presumably there is already a position description attached to the role you’re in. And your employer has reduced your work hours. So, it just seems strange that you’ll be expected to do even more work in the reduced work hours. Perhaps I’m not understanding something. Or maybe they are giving you more hours?

I hope that you enjoy the training. It’s always good to keep learning.

Kind thoughts to you

Doolhof · ‎08-08-2023

Hi quirky,

I have been trying to process my thoughts about my husband going away again on an overseas holiday without me for a while now. I need to believe I have rights and needs as well and I can expect them to be considered and honoured...mostly by myself and my own self doubts that I am not deserving!

A list of possible activities, places to go and people to connect with while he is away will be helpful, I will actually write things down instead of just having it in my mind.

Regarding work, I feel I was able to communicate better and felt more comfortable with just the one boss there instead of 2. That helped.

Clear and precise communication and continuing until I receive answers will be my motto from now on. I had given up getting answers and expecting results for some issues at work.

Hope you are doing okay quirky.

Doolhof · ‎08-08-2023

Hi Eagle Ray,

Thanks, the quiet office I requested is for the training. My work space is front of house where I need to deal with a lot of different people with many requests and answering the phones as well, and transferring calls when needed. It can be quite busy juggling different things all at once.

I need a quiet environment to learn new skills especially so now the chronic fatigue has decided to make a come back let alone stress and anxiety issues!

Calming techniques will be very beneficial. I had looked into yoga classes in our region in the past, then all the covid stuff happened and I have not returned to investigating options.

My yoga mat is still intact enough to use it. I actually did some stretches on it the other day and destruction cat decided that was a wonderful time to shred a bit more off the mat! I was going to try her with a rough natural fibre mat of her own.

I'm off to visit family today. Hope you have a restful day.

Doolhof · ‎08-08-2023

Hi Summer Rose,

You are correct in your assumptions. My hours have not been increased but my duties will be. I am not actually sure how I am going to juggle it all when it comes into effect. I am to be tasked with sorting out the forever changing staff roster for over 200 staff while also doing my usual duties of assisting staff, clients and visitors.

People become frustrated with me now if they have to wait for my attention. I was assisting someone on the phone when a customer came up and started yelling at me that I needed to attend to them.

My position description is vague stating something like : "Other duties as required". I've asked for a renewed contract and am still waiting for that. Maybe a new job description will be written out once all the training is complete. I just hope I am able to work out what I am needing to do and how to achieve it all.

Hope you are doing okay Summer Rose.

Summer Rose · ‎08-08-2023

Hi Dools

I don't think it would hurt to get your unease about how you'll achieve all the extra work, along with your regular duties, on the record. I would approach the discussion with the boss cheerfully, reiterate you're willing to try, looking forward to the training, but just not sure about the practicality of being able to achieve all of the work during your set hours. Perhaps ask if the change could be introduced as a trial with a review in three months. Just my thoughts.

I'm doing okay, Dools. Physical health wise I'm fine, but mind is busy. My daughter has been quite unwell and she's heading into hospital in September to undertake a dedicated OCD program. I'm anxious about the admission, but know it must done and just praying it will help. Lots of "what ifs" swirling around my mind.

Sometimes I'd just like a break from dealing with mental health--wouldn't we all!

Kind thoughts to you

Doolhof · ‎09-08-2023

HI Summer Rose,

It is difficult to turn the volume down in our minds at times isn't it! I hope and pray too the admission is very beneficial and helpful for your daughter. I don't know why some people suffer so much with minds that function in a different manner. Mental health has so many facets to it.

Thanks for your comments regarding the training and extra work load. I have been trying to look at it all in a curious manner rather than stressing over it. Can't say that always works well! I like your suggestion about having a trial period.

As the weather warms up my job will become busier as well. I also know the staff who currently do one of the extra tasks I will soon be required to do, need to walk all over the premises to find staff to ask them questions. I am basically at reception so can't just wander off to find staff to chat to them!

Systems work differently on weekends at my work place, I don't know how much thought has been put into the actual logistics of this working effectively with my current role. Time will tell.

Meanwhile I need to practice some self-care. Cheerio for now from Dools

MISSY1997 · ‎09-08-2023

Yes, i feel the same. no body cares

because you cant see it and your not dying you don't need help.

Doolhof · ‎09-08-2023

Hi MISSY1997,

I'm sorry to read that you are struggling and sounds like you are struggling at times with your mental health journey and where to find help and assistance.

Part of me realises that the Dr and the psychologist are trying to help, only I am not receiving the assistance I have been asking for. I'm needing to do more research and investigating for myself.

I am also very aware that when I am distressed and quite depressed I find it difficult to help myself, hence my journey of trying to gain assistance to better understand certain aspects of my mental health issues.

People here care MISSY, I hope you are able to receive some care and assistance from the forum community. Wishing you well and please know if you want to express more of what you are struggling with, we might be able to assist each other with understanding and suggestions if you like.

Regards form Dools.