Just give me a break!

[Kitty88]

I cant catch a break, it's literally one thing after another and noone understands! Today again I got bad news regarding my health.. I honestly can not win! This life I have is hard, and it's sad, I shouldn't have to suffer. All I ever wanted was to be a mum and now it's like I can't be the mum I wanted and it hurts me.. I know my child can do way better! I love him endlessly 

[Petal22]

Hi Kitty88,

I'm sorry to hear this, I understand that you are feeling really low at the moment.

Kitty88 there are people who are willing to help you, please kitty88 listen to your psychiatrist and admit yourself to the hospital.

We care about you and believe you will come through this but you need the help of health professionals.

Please keep reaching out to us anytime

[Kitty88]

I didn't think my situation could get any harder, I am already struggling to stay afloat and now it's like I've just had boulders dropped on me!

Everything is so freaking hard now and I am completely lost, I have no idea at what to do anymore and feel so helpless with everything happening in my life. I am about to lose everything! My world, my rock, the only thing that kept me going all this time and now I'm going to lose it too.

I am heartbroken, I tried so bloody hard but it really just isn't enough. No matter what I do, I can't catch a break. I'm so unbelievably tired and so sick of this constant battle

[Petal22]

Hi Kitty88,

Im sorry you are currently feeling this way.

Please know you can always call one of our friendly councillors 1300 22 4636.

[therising]

Hi Kitty

I'm wondering whether you're talking about your son when you mention losing your rock, that aspect in your life that keeps you grounded.

While it may be a strange way to phrase it, do you think hospital at this point would be better than nothing. If nothing or no thing is what you currently have to manage with, at least hospital is something. What happens in there is a whole other story. You could try seeing what happens. What do you think?

Once you get in there, you could try talking here about your experiences in there, whether they be good or challenging either way. I think one of things my kids have led me to realise over the years is I'd do anything for them. If going into hospital, whether I wanted to or not, is what I had to do in order for me to be here for them, I'd do it. I'd do it maybe sadly or begrudgingly or angrily perhaps but I do it nonetheless. I don't think I'd do it for anyone other than them. The love for our child is something unique in the way it pushes us and reforms us. At some point, we turn and turn again or re-turn (through our challenges) to our kids, as a different person.

Would you accept the challenge of going into hospital for him?

[Petal22]

Hi Kitty 88,

Just checking in on you….I’m not giving up on you…. So please don’t give up on yourself.

Sometimes when things feel hard is the moment that you find yourself ..you find yourself amongst the darkness.

You are there and you are waiting to be seen and acknowledged by you.

You can learn to rise above what you are going through and look down on it and circle above it like an Eagle.

Your in there Kitty88 keep fighting.

[Kitty88]

I'm crap, I really am... I've fought but I give up now! I'm so bloody exhausted and nothing ever changes... I have failed big time and I know that maybe, everyone will be better off now!

Thanks for your help but yeah Ive just had enough

[Kitty88]

I've already lost everything and it still just keeps coming... I give up 😭

[Petal22]

Hi Kitty88,

I’m sorry you are feeling this way.

Please don’t quit because the moment you decide to quit could be the moment the tide will change.

Im sorry you feel as though you have lost everything……….. Im here to chat to you if you want to tell me more?

What is the shit that keeps coming?

While you are still here breathing and your heart beating your still in with a chance….

Hold on …..things can get better for you..

[Petal22]

Kitty88 just another thing…..

“ Every CHAMPION was once a CONTENDER that REFUSED TO GIVE UP”

It ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward…….. that’s how WINNING is DONE.

Life will always try to knock us down Kitty88 but it’s up to us how we “ choose “ to fight back….. 💪 we must get back up every time we get knocked down and each time we get back up we get stronger and stronger……. REFUSE to QUIT !

QUITTING is NEVER an option 💪

You can piece yourself back together and with each piece you can come back stronger.

[therising]

Hi Kitty

It's horrible Kitty, torturous, unbearable and completely intolerable. This sounds like the worst day of your life. I know that day Kitty. I still remember it in my mind, as if it was yesterday. While I can't go into too much detail about what led me to hospital, I remember sitting there not just sobbing but wailing. Through the tears I cried out 'I can't do this anymore. I just can't do it. I've had enough'. It was the saddest day of my life where the despair just couldn't get any worse. When I took action, I recall thinking 'This is not what I wanted to do. I don't want to go but I just can't stay anymore'. In realising this, I called my sister who sent her husband around to where I lived.

Kitty, do you know who can get you through the worst day of your life? They may simply do what's needed to get you through. Let them manage.

When I recall what followed, after leaving hospital, I think of my nephew and how I looked in on him sleeping when I was taken back to my sister's house. I made a promise to him in that moment that I'd never leave him, in such a way. If I did, it would change his life forever. His life would never be the same without me, for he adored me and I him. He would spend the rest of his life wishing I was here at certain times.

So many years later and I am here to see him married, to see him with his first child who's now 6 months old. I've seen him buy his first house last week. I've seen him through depression and have helped him through the worst day of his life while in his own depression. I mention this for I think of your son. When depression tells you, on the worst day of your life, a child you love and who loves you is better off without you, this is one of the worst lies depression can convince you of. It's a lie that, if fully believed, can take you from them.

If there's anything or anyone who can stop you from leaving your son, now is the time to employ this. If anyone comes to mind, anyone at all, call them and tell them you can't do the most depressing day of your life on your own. You are loved by me Kitty and I hope you feel that.