I really need reasons not to do it...the world is so crap and getting worse

[Jessksch]

I'm so sick of trying hard to see the silver lining. More and more I see our economy getting worse, things are getting more expensive all while jobs are asking for you to work all week for below 50k a year.

I keep trying to hold on, then I find out my sister is going through a divorce....try to hold on even more, paperwork that is important got rejected...just a tiny bit more...get a bad review at work when I have been trying my best.

I'm so tired, I love the people in my life, but for once I want to be selfish, nothing is being done for us to be able to afford a living by working normal hours, nothing to see in the future as we will never afford a house...there is nothing worth it anymore. I'm not doing it now or soon but will plan it out unless I get a good enough reason not to.

Been trying to get a new job but nothing for me with years of experience except in retail or childcare and I hate working with children and their parents. Plus it pays like crap....and joining the army to protect a government that is not helping the public, making the rich richer.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

This post is interesting to me. Consider, in 1987 my therapist said "when are you going to stop saving the world"? It was a comment made from my approach that the world needed to be what it cant be- better. It was that I hadnt accepted what life is and what the world ended up being. It made me pessimistic and that created anxiety.

The drama of the world, wars, economy, red tape, limited income, protests, injustices etc are all saturating our news so little wonder we are frustrated. M ex wife once said however "when you study a bee collecting nectar, a bird collecting worms or a flower blooming in the morning- start to finish, then you'll appreciate life". She was so right. We need to make ourselves focus on the things we can change not the things we cannot change.

As for you immediate living situation like accommodation, income etc and having lived in poverty for many years in the 1970's to 2000 plus one suicide attempt (1996) I have now concluded that  in any situation whereby your mental health is such that it is under threat, you need to accept that being radical in your plans is a better alternative than enduring the stress of your current spiral. So, evaluation might include-

• Rethinking of how you deal with mental health- relaxation, youtube videos, therapy, brainstorming others, physical fitness, diet
• Accommodation, if owning your own home is beyond you, think outside the square. A mobile home as a first goal then living in various caravan parks (or someones back yard) near work with the positive of holiday flexibility. Lower rent means more savings.
• Career. Change of work could include travel to fruit picking places north in the winter south in the summer. Opt out of your profession for a while. Accept that some workplaces are toxic and its not oyu.
• Rid toxic people from your life.
• Get a pet
• Remove bad news stories from your life by scrolling the feed. Also National and international politics.
• Try to remove yourself from others problems like your sisters divorce. It's her fight, support her and/or him without judgement. 
• An old lady once told me "be grateful what you have not what you strive for" and "its not what you earn its what you spend"

I have some threads below, Just need to read the first post of each.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/when-all-is-lost-what-can-you-do-be-radical/td-p/47...

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/meditation-words-of-wisdom-it-helped-me-for-25-year...

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/fortress-of-survival/td-p/216226

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/do-we-expect-a-smooth-road-in-life/td-p/127389

Reply anytime

TonyWK

[Jessksch]

Thank you so much for your reply, I appreciate the advice you shared, however there are a few things I already tried or would not be beneficial:

- I have tried all of these plus am on medication and trying still to change as we speak:unfortunately it is getting expensive as I keep trying and buying new medication that isn't working

-a caravan or winnebago costs as much as a deposit nowadays (100k) not to mention fuel, maintenance and rent in areas that you are to pay to stay for the night. Move around you say? Well more stress with that having to do so. The added stress of having to share with others in a dirty bathroom and not feeling at home, will add to the depression,not to mention taking even longer to save up for my own place

-We have been trying to move to the countryside or areas that are unpopular: tried a job with a different company but they underpaid us and gave us hours we literally could only sleep for 5 hours. If these are the health risks that we have to cope with like they used to do, then no wonder everyone over 50 is an alcoholic and stress ball

-I thankfully have no toxic people in my life

-I have two pets already but starting to just not having the energy anymore to care, they are the only reason I am still typing on the computer though

-This is one good suggestion which I have tried: to remove news and media, however it is very hard to avoid today as it is in your face everywhere, not to mention advertisements ruining things we used to enjoy

-I am trying to remove myself from the negatives my sister is going through but of course it's hard and I want to be emotionally available still, you know, as a support since I care about her

-It's hard to be thankful for "little things" when nothing you do seems to contribute to your future. I work hard even with my depression, push myself and it's still not good enough for my work. I apply to various jobs and am never good enough or have to lie about my experience just to get my foot into the door.

I don't expect a smooth road through life or perfection, but at least a bit of fairness like working hard and getting something out of it for it, being able to work towards a goal and achieve it in an ethical way, but it seems you have to lie on your resume, or keep spending money to survive instead of saving it.

[white knight]

Many initial suggestions is mainly to see where you are at, what you have tried and so on and that's good that you went through those. I'm sorry if you are advanced in trying all the things I suggested, many aren't but its hard to judge.

I would save to purchase the cheapest caravan with an ensuite. As long as your car can tow it (easily and legally)and it doesnt leak it will be a sound proposition simply because every fortnight you have more potential to save money. reasonable but older caravans start at around 12-15,000 about 5m long and I own one, a Jurgens sungazer. But those models are only several years old so you'd need older maybe. The ensuite is a must as I had gastro last trip and we both agreed glad we had an ensuite and like you public amenities isnt our thing..

Anyway I dont pressure people, some just arent into that, my suggestion was to avoid the rent which is so unfair. Free camps are everywhere, for $8 you can download the "wikicamps" app and it has every camp in Australia. I've met people that stay in these camps and swap every 2-3 days to another one and so on. So effectively they dont pay rent, others stay at a caravan park once a fortnight for 2 nights, do their washing, charge their batteries and so on.

I hear you about a smooth road in life, fairness and justice. My therapist also said to me "there are 8 billion people on earth... they are all shades of grey, but you are black and white." What he was saying is that if I am that firm with my views of justice then I wont get along with others very well. The "normal" level of expectations is a grey area. Some fit into that grey area well others dont. This leads (in my case) of semi hibernation, keeping distance from people.  This regulating of an activity that involves people has to be practiced. 

Depression. Putting major effort into it wont be efficient I'm afraid, all the things I mentioned have to be a multi pronged practical bunch of steps for depression to ease off. Thats where acting out radical helps within financial reason etc. For example if you are in deep depression it is pointless trying to get motivated.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation/td-p/149708

Many work places are toxic. It's very hard to blend in. One very quiet guy never commented on anything, I asked him "how come you dont comment "because I'm here to earn money for my family not make friends that turn into enemies". Two sides to that- portraying unfriendly attitude or people just accept he doesnt mingle. Be civil and friendly but distant. 

So to play the game everyone else is to get a job lying on your resume isnt such a terrible thing, an acceptable grey area because you arent robbing a bank and to get that job when everyone else stretching the truth isnt so bad is it? I was talking to my sister about all this when I was so black and white and she pointed out that the biro on my table had my company's name on it eg I took it from work. She was saying that we all have those grey areas and there is that 8 billion shades of grey.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/ostracised-whos-fault-is-it/td-p/38580 

What do you think?

TonyWK

[Jessksch]

Thank you for understanding, it just seems all pointless to me, I have worked so hard with my years of experience in customer service, and people I asked for career advice said I don't have the experience to even do more corporate jobs...it's always study more or pay more to get educated...I'm just too tired to keep working towards things and not reaching them, just too damn tired.

I struggle just sitting at work and concentrating, my mind feels like it's going to explode with anxiety or anger of how so much I don't want to be there.

It's all too much work and I'm just too tired. I have worked so hard to get through uni and working and nothing seems to matter what I achieved.

[white knight]

If goals dont exist or are taken away due to struggling financially then goodbye holidays, goodbye nice car and so on. 

Sleep is so important and I had to do a sleep study about 13 years ago to find I had moderate sleep apnoea. I've slept with a CPAP ever since. Without proper sleep you wont enjoy work, without nice people at work you wont get good sleep and the roller coaster keeps going.

Financial issues are terrible, You likely have HECS debt as well.  You are in a financial bind and without that house goal as a possibility you might see why I'm a believer of radical change. I picked up a hitch hiker back in 1976 on his way to Adelaide. He'd just left his wife and child as he caught her cheating. He was depressed and had no plan. I took him to the place I was boarding and he left a week later to work on a sheep station up north. 6 months later he rang and told me he was feeling good, was a cook at the farm and had a girlfriend. He then told me his move away from Melbourne saved his life. He was also in talks with his ex to get access to see his son and they were civil. As I suspect your workplace situation wont improve My ideas here might become reality and out of the box thoughts aren't a bad way of finding a solution to avoiding further spiralling.

The worse the financial position the short the goals. So weekly goals, consider a change in your life and think it all through. Try not to be negative by not thinking about the distant future. There is a huge differenc ein thinking about remedies and worry. 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/want-to-be-a-hermit/td-p/273204

What are your thoughts?

TonyWK

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

I get there is a lot going on in your life based on your post. And one thing that Tony replied with is something that I had to do myself. I don't watch the news anymore and tend not to read papers either. I can get news from other places if I need. This suggestion was from my psychologist actually. I guess what I'm trying to say is the suggestions from Tony are worth looking into 🙂

[Jessksch]

Thank you all for the replies, I do appreciate the help and suggestions, I think I am just tired because I have already thought or tried them all.

I am luckily not in dept of any kind so I do have that going for me; but it just makes me sad for others who aren't as lucky.

It's so hard to cope at the moment with my anxieties as I tried now getting a better job and was so proud of getting an interview, but now not sure if I can cope with the full-time hours and guilty and frustrated.

Not to mention even working only part-time I keep making mistakes at work, even though I try to slow down, and go back to fix them immediately, I got a low review from my work for the quality and now so scared if I'm going to get fired...I mean, can I even work? I feel so useless and frustrated.

Now stressing so much about everything it's driving me crazy

[white knight]

You are more than welcome to continue talking here if you believe you benefit. However once our bag of tricks are depleted and you continue to have issues that risk life changes like being sacked etc, then it time for professional help. If you are still receiving help in that way great, but if not the issues are serious enough to get help on that level.

One link above called worry worry worry, is what you are doing now with respect, "stressing, scared, making mistakes, anxieties, tired and so on" That doesnt seem to be a good place to be. 

What would you like us to assist you with? Would just listening be an advantage to you? Would you like to reveal what profession you are in so we can zoom in on how to tackle that better? 

What do you think?

TonyWK

[Jessksch]

I appreciate the logical solutions and offering help, I made a doctor's appointment to talk about it all not working. Lately I just feel too tired and issues finding joy in things that used to make me happy, even forcing myself to do them just makes me tired and I go and sleep.

I'll see how I go when I see my doctor.