Help needed

[Farmer680]

Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Farmer...

Im still following along..not replying much but I do care for you dear man....

I’ll be praying for you tomorrow that justice is served on this young girl....and you get your name cleared of any wrong doing....

Please believe in yourself, you done no wrong....Your a beautiful soul that some young girl is trying to destroy...

I pray that you will come out on top..and this can all be put behind you and your lovely family...

My very best wishes dear Farmer...

Grandy.. 🙏....💚🤗

[demonblaster]

Hi Farmer and everyone ☺

That's really good to hear. Good on you!

Thanks to BB providing such an incredibly safe non judgemental place makes it possible for so many people doing the super hard yards to find support and advice from people that understand pain & some have been through similar

I too have so much gratitude to bb as I know many do. You know it's most often horrid people causing pain to others like in your situation and here's the other side, the good people helping eachother.

Don't know if you're aware with your situation and how you're coping and holding so incredibly strong would be an inspiration to so many people.

Seeing someone go right down but not making the wrong choice and holding up shows we do have what we need although buried we can dig the strength up. I'm proud if you Farmer 👍gives people hope.

Thanks will be good to know how it goes tomoz. Fingers crossed 🤞

I hear what you're saying about her being smug and laughing. People like that trip and fall eventually usually. She's been getting cocky, they always end up falling. She'd be missing her sister. The life she's living will sometime turn against her. I hope but also think that.

I'm only saying this to try and make your burden lighter dear man and I do it myself all the time. It does your head in.

Try friend to not think too often on how she's laughing etc and taunting youse it'd send me right off. What happens is your pain anger frustration builds and strengthens and stews as you'd know.

If you can see any positives in the situation like it's bought your family closer. There were good times, deep down I suspect she'd be missing the quality youse gave her.

That gives your mind more to focus on in a lighter mode of thought as opposed to churning on the down thoughts that are totally understandable.

Also by redirecting your thinking to what can be done to change the situation which it sounds like from the lawyer there's a lot.

Remember good man keep breathing deeply and feel your muscles physically relax around your shoulders it can help ease the tension.

Thoughts and care to you all 🍃

[Farmer680]

Thank you, it went to court lastTuesday the police said they will not be taking anymore applications from this person they are wiping there hands of it, it would of been over last week the intervention orders ect but she wants to keep Pursuing it so it has to go to court again in April, she loves the games I told my lawyer instead of the organisation giving her free lawyers so she can continue her games 11 intervention orders ect shouldn’t they put the money in to getting her some help it’s just a waste of massive amounts of tax payers money he agreed100% on court day she would of been jumping up and down with happiness. while my whole family are depressed not knowing what she will do next,it’s called mental abuse and she knows it, so we just have to wait again it will never end while her lawyers are free. someone has to put a stop to it she will do it to someone else and get the wrong person that will go after her sad but true.

[demonblaster]

Farmer hey good to see you ☺ was wondering how you went. Hi all 👋

Hope you're holding up relatively well after another delay.
It'd be infuriating. I commend you holding it together as you are. A gentle reminder to keep reiterating everything that day you realized so much you have to live for.

Mr Farmer April will be here before you know it. Xmas shoots us through to Feb I'm never sure what happens to January. Then as we know time moves us along pretty fast. It can move us in and out of good and hard times. You're all well due for some good luck which is creeping in.

A starts that the cops are wiping their hands of her. Good job! That'd have to I'd hope at least be in your favour as showing her character.

Ok so I feel the more she manipulates and mucks them all around like courts and everyone involved again another look at her character.

Hope someone revs her legal aid too. Assuming she's being advised.

This might help with redirecting your thoughts to potentially some goods in your favour.
I do think she's so self absorbed and troubled she'll trip herself over.

Agreed the $ should be towards her getting the help she needs and agree that if she carries on to the wrong person she'll be in a world of trouble. With luck someone might bring that to courts notice. Seems there's one of many loop holes.

Try to keep in mind when you can remember which is hard because the negatives are in your face, the good you've all done. That takes focus onto a positive good truth.
She's off the rails. From the care you've spoken of she's been well looked after.

Her bubble will eventually burst I reckon.

You're holding up incredibly well under such hard circumstances.

My want and I know many here also would like to see you free of pain and to continue a good life. It's still there matey and so is your loving family and new friends here.

See you later ☺ best to everyone.

🌿

[Farmer680]

Thank you, yes it’s very hard the minute you get down the dark thoughts try and take over it’s like they are waiting for you to give in to them, Legal Aid are beyond a joke when the funding from one lawyer runs out she applies for another lawyer and they give it to her straight away. They need a good talking to from higher authority surely they can see someone with 11 intervention orders that would have to red flag her but no it’s like they have endless amount of government money to waste. I was talking to a couple of Nuns at work they are very impressed with beyond blue they said you have saved a lot of people from going to heaven, I done some looking on the internet at phone addiction in teenagers it’s really bad why isn’t this ever talked about, people talk about drug addiction but mobile phone addiction is never talked about and it’s a very serious problem because once addicted it’s like taking drugs from them and we know we have seen it first hand what they do when their phone is taken from them but we are one of many many many cases in Australia that happens every year we don’t hate her for what she has done or doing we feel sad for her because she thinks now the only way out is to keep lying the nuns said she has mental issues but I told them when she was living on our farm she was perfectly normal doing good at school ect but once her phone was taken from her she’s now a completely different person a person we don’t know, how can someone turn on you after giving them ten years of your life to bring them up like they are your own children, if we had of said you can keep your phone she would still be on the farm happy as anything, but she had already had her mobile phone for 12 months before we discovered it her sister said she used to sneak out 4 o’clock in the morning and charge her phone in my shed then get up before we did and hide her phone charger sneaking around behind our backs then it was lie after lie after lie, until she took off and never comeback I told her your phone was more important than your family all I got back was what ever that’s the thanks we get. sorry about writing so much.

[demonblaster]

Hi Farmer and everyone ☺

I hope you're managing as well as you can with your extra workload on top of your worrying extremely hard times.

Just dropped in to let you know I've read your post and please never worry about talking too much. This is where you can let it all out. I'm glad you are talking because it sounds like it is helping you which is fantastic news.

Yes here is an amazing place. They work hard at maintaining a good space for people to talk openly of their pain without judgement and being safe to do so. I know here's helped untold people in so many ways myself included.

I started yours and another post that I'll be back with as soon as possible. It's very late and a bit off today so a good sleep and new day hopefully will fix.

By the way (Btw) been meaning to ask what sort of animals do you have on the farm. No need to reply to that, only what you're comfy talking about.

Hope your wifes foots improving. Must be hard not being able to have it in full working order.

Ok Mr Farmer. Keep on keeping on good man you're holding up incredibly well under rotten circumstances.

🌿see you later 🖐

[Farmer680]

Hi it seems to be getting harder and harder its pulling me down I am trying to get back up its like I am in a silent world of my own , it’s the long hours I am working and all the stress on my whole family,that worries me I get sad a lot we gave the children everything they could possibly want but still wasn’t enough maybe it’s me that needs help before it’s to late, I don’t know I just feel betrayed we gave her the best chance in life possible. I lay awake of a night stressed I feel stressed most of the day the dark thoughts are taking over and I can’t stop them sorry

[Sophie_M]

Hey Farmer680,

We can hear how difficult it must be to cope with these dark thoughts, but please know that you’re never alone, and our community are here for you. It sounds like you have so much on your plate at the moment, with long hours working, on top of the stress that you’re feeling throughout the day and night. Do you think you’d feel up to talking these feelings through with an understanding counsellor? Please always know that our Support Service is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636, as well as our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14 and the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. We’d really encourage you to reach out to the caring counsellors as often as you need during overwhelming moments like these, when these dark thoughts take over.

We hope that you continue to find comfort in the kind words from our community, and keep reaching out whenever you feel ready to. We’re all here to help support you through this.
 

[demonblaster]

Hey there dear Farmer man good on you keeping in touch. It"s so sad knowing good people have to suffer so much pain especially being innocent in a malicious disturbed persons cruel treatment.

I hope you can get some release contacting some of the caring people Sophie suggested. You know we"re not leaving you here don"t you.

Something I"m hoping can put some light on your position is that when your wife's foot improves that"ll be a big load off you with the extra work.

Matey I really do understand for other reasons how our pain gets unbearable and the mind feels it can't take anymore but somehow we do get through and each day we"ve made it and can do another.

Matey please Don"r let this viscious girl beat you. Avoid any thoughts of finishing . You are much stronger than you think friend.

There has to be better times ahead than now. You have a lot of love. Draw on that and support here good man.

Thoughts and wishes for this to be in the past.

Hold on matey . You"re not alone.

[Farmer680]

Hi hope everyone had a good Christmas mine was ok my father come out he is 84 my mother died at 51 and I went to the cemetery for the first time since my mother was buried 25 years a go, I could never go near the cemetery but after 25 years I went to my mothers Grave and cried so much it’s all this anxiety stress that’s made me so sad inside then when I went to the cemetery it made it worse, this is never going to stop she has been doing this over 12 months she just keeps making up more false lies she keeps going from one lawyer to the next because they are free so the games will keep going and going because no one is going to stop her and she is laughing all the way it’s putting a massive amount of stress on me and my family she knows it too I don’t know what to do I have come to the end of the road I keep falling down but get the will too get back up then after seeing my mothers grave what’s the point anymore sorry I don’t know what to do anymore