Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Not sure

replies: 2

Not really sure what to ask but I guess i just want to know if I'm 'normal'. I've read all the 'signs' and they're very much about seeing this and hearing that. I'm a very outgoing person and would never let people know I'm struggling. But inside it's a bit of a mess. I don't feel like I fit in a category and I don't know who to talk to. I guess I just want to know that if I don't meet all the 'normal sign's' of someone I.e talking about it, trying it, etc does that make it different? Does it make it less real?

Nothing good has happened for 2 years and I’m done

replies: 63

Hi, since finding out my husband of 12 years cheated & lied to me for the whole relationship yet portraying himself as a champion of women & a totally devoted empathetic husband my life has gone from one disaster after another. My 21 year old son had seizures & was in icu in feb. Unknown cause & he still can’t drive, still going for lots of tests & specialist appts, my 2 cats died in the last 6 months. I had to put my beloved horse down last Friday. My job ends in 2 weeks & I don’t have another. And my now ex is being horrendous about the property settlement. I’ve had to hire a lawyer at $500 an hour to even get just 50% which the ex is only conceding to give me 44%. That’s the measure of his fake remorse. They say whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Bullshit. There’s only so much you can take before your permanently damaged. I had an ultrasound to check a cyst yesterday & was disappointed to learn the cyst has shrunk. Ovarian cancer would have been a graceful way out of the shitstorm that is my life.

Work related

replies: 4

I’m not gonna lie . I never thought I’d be here . But I suppose I should start , a week ago , there where some pretty shitty rumors spread around my Workplace that revolved me and another female co worker, and i don’t know what to do . It’s gotten to the point where I’m really messed up . I don’t want to go to work because it seems that everyone just looks at me and starts more shit . I have been thinking of it , It being suicide . I just want things to stop , I hate feeling like absolute shit . I hate the feeling of people staring at me and I have people thinking something I’m not . So idk what to do , I don’t know if I should just say screw it and quit work or go on a stress leave for like a month or just ending it . I came really close two days ago . I kept getting msgs and I was pretty much on the verge of it . I wanted it to end right then and there . I want it to stop but I don’t know what I can do .

I am trapped inside a box with no way out

replies: 2

I was diagnosed with MDD and GAD roughly eight years ago during middle school. I have been to 10 or so psychologists in my lifetime and have struggled to connect with them; much life other people. I feel that my interests and values are too esoteric from the norm for someone my age (M/23). I experienced by first relationship in 2018 but due to the impact of my antidepressants I was unable to fully connect to them due to sexual dysfunction (caused by the medication). I have trialed six or so antidepressants to try to find one that doesn't have those side effects and helps me to feel more stable, but my psychiatrist wants me to continue on these ones for another month to see if they get better. The problem is that I will never accept them even if they help me feel better as I will always be missing a part of me that helps me to connect to a future partner. I have violent mood swings where I enter a deep depression and say hurtful things to my family. I think that I'm punishing myself by trying to push them away further and further. My psychiatrist offered a plan b if the current antidepressant won't work and that is to consider mood stabilisers. Since I learnt about them, I have been obsessed to read about them and I have absorbed multiple journals of information about their efficacy and lack of sexual side effects. I really don't know what to do because I emailed my psychiatrist to ask if I can consider jumping straight to the stabilisers but I haven't heard anything. I just really want to feel some relief and stability and I feel this is something I can only achieve with a more powerful medication. I don't have many options except go to the hospital or call 000. I have a psychology session coming up, but I really struggle to connect with others so I am not sure how it will go. Meanwhile, I was prescribed some muscle relaxants to take when the anxiety consumes me. I have been limiting them to two a day. One when I wake up so I can cope with work, and one when I go to bed at 6. I don't know how I can have a normal life. I fantasize about the life I could have the how I could be happy (I nearly have enough money to buy a house, but it becomes worth pushing through less and less each day). - Justin

Unsure of the future

replies: 7

Hi, I am a first timer here. I have suffered with Depression all my adult life and diagnosed with BPD last year. I feel like I am getting worst rather than improving. This year I have been admitted to hospital twice this year because of my depression, I have tried ECT to help but feel like it was unsuccessful. I am currently getting help but feel like no one is listening or understands me. Local agencies have let me down in the past, or signed me off before I am stable. So trusting people and agencies is hard. I keep hearing it will get better but it doesn’t feel like that. I am struggling with my thoughts and especially the willing to keep going. I cannot see a future for me. I go to work each day but have lost my motivation in doing things I previously enjoyed. Everything seems to be a struggle, home, work and life. I am not sure what to do, or where to turn. Sooty

Need help to cope with someone with suicidal thoughts

replies: 2

Hello everyone, This is my first thread, I am 18 years and I heard from a friend that beyond blue can help assist me any distressing situation, so I ask for help. A year ago, my sister was diagnosed with severe anxiety from bullying in her primary school years, she is 15. We just moved her to a new school where is now has a good friendship group and has expressed to our family that she is happy. However, just recently, my sister tried to take her own life in the middle of the night. I was sleeping until I heard the ambulance with my parents assisting my sister, gladly she is still alive today. When my parents left the house I wondered around to find my parents were finding any sharp objects and chemicals and storing them away. What really disturbed me that night was when I entered my sisters room to find a black painted smiley face on her mirror, at first I didn't know what it was but from my mothers email (I have secret access, I know I shouldn't) I found that it was a suicide note. After she came back, it was really hard to get things back to normal, I was even afraid of looking at my own sister. Now, ever since that night, I have had this constant fear that one day my sister will succeed in her attempt. Every time I hear my sister come out of her room, I remain awake in case I hear anything abnormal or might come to the rescue, every time she heads to the bathroom or hear footsteps in her room. The truth is I don't know what to do or what to say. I have autism and comprehending that my sister was having these thoughts put my life in a mess and living in fear that I may lose my sister. As I said, the truth is I don't know what to do and would really like advice on how to cope. Thank you for listening.

Nobody really cares!

replies: 5

Hi I have posted before about my severe anxiety. Lately it has spiralled out of control (forced lockdown in SA) plus the health symptoms I suffer from constantly. I have been to so many doctors and a psychologist. I try to explain it to my family and the few friends I have. Nobody cares. I am deemed a hypochondriac, a drama queen, too sensitive etc etc. I am the person who would give my last dollar to someone in need. I rescue stray animals and help people whenever I can. Everyone seems to take me for granted. I am totally over this life. The covid shite that keeps us on eggshells constantly. Looking after my teenage son with zero care from his useless father. Looking after my aged mother whilst suffering pain and exhaustion daily. Everyone comes to me with their dramas yet when it is me they all disappear. My friend managed to secure a holiday at her other friends' place when this lockdown was announced. As she is quite happy and having a nice time with company she is off the radar. Yet she often texts me with her dramas and I am always there for her! As I am for everyone! How can I live in this crap place when I get no respect or care from anyone?? I am falling apart mentally and physically and I am not going back to the doctor as I go every week and get palmed off. I don't give a shite if I get covid. I am sick to death of the f'n thing!! I feel there is absolutely nothing to look forward to. I have no partner. My last one was bad news. He contacted me for my birthday and came over for drinks. Big mistake. I get so lonely I will scrape the barrel! He has now blocked me?! I am besides myself as it appears every single damn decision I make is the wrong one! I get more support here than from anyone I actually know. It is a bloody sad and miserable life. Thanks for reading. I hope someone can give me a reason to go on.

Lost

replies: 9

I just don’t know anymore about anything anymore. I use to be really happy and interacted with people but now I seperate myself from others and don’t want to be with my peers. I have recently found myself self-harming and I don’t know how to stop because I do it in stressful situations. I feel that no body likes being around me and that when I do speak to people they think I am weird.

Pressures from friendships, family and school are making me feel so alone.

replies: 384

Hi, I feel very alone and I feel nobody wants to hear me. I try to talk to my parents as much as I can about everything stupid to important, but they don’t understand or respect my opinion. They always taunt me and they are never satisfied with whatever I do. I can't talk to them about how I feel. They would never show me their affection, they never hug me, or give me a proper response for my special moments or properly spend time with me. They avoid me. I don't have a strong relationship with anyone. I know I am very overweight and extremely ugly, I have to put up with it myself every day of my life. I hate the way I walk, talk and I am dumb in everything I do. So many times I have known the answer or have an idea, but I cannot say it out loud in class. I am fine with sharing things with my friends and sometimes other students in my class, but even with them I feel ignored and alone, as I cannot keep up with things going on in their lives, they all have social media and I don’t and they go all travelling and I have never been out the house except to go to school. Or they simply don’t want to talk to me because of my ugly looks and lack of popularity. There are students in my class who everyone respects because they are good-looking not caring how rude they can be, everyone tells me being beautiful in the inside is more important, but no one cares about being kind. I feel so out of place. I try my hardest to look skinny, I wear clothes that I think will help me do that, I try to keep my things clean and tidy and I try to be nice as much as I can. Nothing works, I always feel the same; alone and stupid. I don’t want any of my friends and family to know about how I feel. But with my parents, my younger brother and my friends ignoring me and making me feel alone, make me think about suicide and I can't sleep during the night or wake up early in the morning. I don’t feel loved, happy or accepted in the people I am surrounded with. I feel weak, alone, misunderstood, ugly, sad, confused and a burden on everyone. I feel confused as I got no idea where I want to work. I feel stupid and sad because my grandma has breast cancer and I haven’t seen her, all I have done is make her miserable, I want to talk to her which I can’t do it through a phone call, because at that moment I don’t want to say and I don't know if she wants to talk to me. Maybe I am overreacting because so many other people go through worse things than me, but this is how I feel

Need someone to talk to

replies: 5

Hi my name is Jacinta I am currently contemplating self harm but I know I shouldn’t and I just have no one to talk to about my feelings. If I capsule just even have someone to talk to please it would help.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Not sure replies: 2

Nothing good has happened for 2 years and I’m done replies: 63

Work related replies: 4

I am trapped inside a box with no way out replies: 2

Unsure of the future replies: 7

Need help to cope with someone with suicidal thoughts replies: 2

Nobody really cares! replies: 5

Lost replies: 9

Pressures from friendships, family and school are making me feel so alone. replies: 384

Need someone to talk to replies: 5