Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section
  • replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a ... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

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Helarctus Today is not a good day.
  • replies: 12

I'm not sure where things will fit, and I apologise in advance for any confusion I bring. In spite of my efforts to be clear, I confuse. Everything feels like an overreach, that I have fumbled into better position than I deserve or earn. Sidestepped ... View more

I'm not sure where things will fit, and I apologise in advance for any confusion I bring. In spite of my efforts to be clear, I confuse. Everything feels like an overreach, that I have fumbled into better position than I deserve or earn. Sidestepped hardships by accident and fallen onto my feet at a run ahead of the starters gun. Lauded for crossing the finish line first when I didn't even know I was in the race. Somehow even with all my luck, I am never enough for the things I strive for. Position, promotion, purpose, pointless. My arms shorten as raise them, fingers fail to fold around and grip, eluding. Everything I am is a dice roll in someone else's game. The days are easier when I can accept I am less. Watching things unfold and filling minor supporting roles that create no risk of drama seems where I am most apt. My ego rises and I have to remember to punch it down. Jam my fist in my mouth and keep my head bowed. Rally against myself as the common enemy til I am numbed by the bruises and left in the corner. Time to make another appointment. Helarctus.

bluedots No other way out
  • replies: 7

i've been essentially feeling suicidal for the past 6 weeks, triggered by falling terribly behind on uni work and still not having caught up even though assignments are due which i haven't started and i don't see myself finishing on time. i'm current... View more

i've been essentially feeling suicidal for the past 6 weeks, triggered by falling terribly behind on uni work and still not having caught up even though assignments are due which i haven't started and i don't see myself finishing on time. i'm currently seeing a counsellor at my uni although we've only had a few sessions and i've always been terrible talking about my emotions with anyone, let alone a literal stranger. they know about my suicidal thoughts but not in terrible detail. i'm considering presenting myself to the emergency department but i don't know what will happen after that. i'm worried about not being taken seriously considering i've never attempted nor do i actively self harm(i have mad impostor syndrome in other areas of my life + i kinda chickened out 2 weeks ago? i walked past the entrance and didn't end up walking in) i also don't exactly want my parents to find out (i still live with them and they are often overbearing and aren't exactly the worlds biggest mental health advocates)

Musicfan9 Worthless
  • replies: 2

Feeling worthless and empty, feel like everyone is better of without me in there lives, just want to give up on everything, don't know how to become happy again cos everything is just falling apart

Feeling worthless and empty, feel like everyone is better of without me in there lives, just want to give up on everything, don't know how to become happy again cos everything is just falling apart

ozzmosis Centerlink dsp depression and headed towards Suicided
  • replies: 6

I asked for help from Centrelink, begged them for help, any help and then had a total break down on the phone to Centrelink, while trying to get a claim rejection for disability support, sorted out and told them to contact my doctor and specialists w... View more

I asked for help from Centrelink, begged them for help, any help and then had a total break down on the phone to Centrelink, while trying to get a claim rejection for disability support, sorted out and told them to contact my doctor and specialists which i also had put in paper work for, they refused to even talk to the doctors or specialists, instead saying we only go on the info provided and the items you provided, only = 10 point, what total rubbish, I have been fighting since 2008 for Centrelink to see sense, since then my problems have slowly got worse, the amount of paper work i have handed in is insane over the years and have copies of it all the paper work, my problems are = chronic lower back pain, also i have Dsm-v criteria for adjustment disorder, traumatic stress disorder, a comorbid history of cluster b/c personality disorder, traits mainly impulsive and avoidant, neurocognitive deficits, I not able to truly relax, MY ptsd effects my nervous system, causing me to be constant fight or flight mode, I suffer from anxiety depression. which effects every part of my day to day life. I forget things and have trouble remembering even short time term things, and suffer from manic depression which also is effected by my anxiety, stress levels. The Government has asked me to look for jobs, and they look at what I have done in the past to which i am no long suitable for and expect me to do those jobs, to which I would be a danger to my self and others. basically i have given up what's the point if i can not even get access to the programs and support I need to help with all my problems.

Guest_3854 I Want To Die
  • replies: 3

My mind is so diseased and I am in so much pain that I pray for death . God doesn't seem to exist however. Or care. I am not sure which is worse. There is not a single human being I can speak to about it. People have their own problems and don't want... View more

My mind is so diseased and I am in so much pain that I pray for death . God doesn't seem to exist however. Or care. I am not sure which is worse. There is not a single human being I can speak to about it. People have their own problems and don't want to listen to me. What could they do about it anyway??? I should kill myself but I want some painless quick way to do it.

Checkers1962 On the brink
  • replies: 2

Have had an extremely hard time of late. Messed up bad this weekend was caught again drink driving. I know I have an issue with drink. But that's not the worst of it. My MDD is out of control. Double medicating to cope have Formication, extremely irr... View more

Have had an extremely hard time of late. Messed up bad this weekend was caught again drink driving. I know I have an issue with drink. But that's not the worst of it. My MDD is out of control. Double medicating to cope have Formication, extremely irritable and highly emotional to the point of being on the verge of tears constantly. Can't deal with anything at the moment and just want to disappear. EVERY time I think I'm getting on my feet I implode my life. Sitting here tonight sweating, highly emotional and entire right side tingling making me more and more anxious. Not sleeping and can't cope with anyone else's problems. Just don't know what to do anymore.

Tulips123 Heartbroken
  • replies: 1

My husband of 28 years walked out 6 weeks ago. He says (in a text!) he doesn’t want to be a couple anymore. I can’t sleep, I have times where I feel suicidal, I miss him desperately. I love him dearly, I cannot imagine a life without him, our kids fi... View more

My husband of 28 years walked out 6 weeks ago. He says (in a text!) he doesn’t want to be a couple anymore. I can’t sleep, I have times where I feel suicidal, I miss him desperately. I love him dearly, I cannot imagine a life without him, our kids finally are grown up after multiple mental health challenges, both dropped outdo year 12 but one has just started uni, I was looking forward to finally having some time together with less stress and instead I am in shock. How do I keep going? My family are negative, unsupportive people. I feel like I am just a burden to my friends, some of whom dumped me because they got tired of hearing bad news all the time. I just feel devastated and it’s getting worse and worse. Husband has agreed to attend counselling in 3 weeks, by I think that’s just to repeat that it’s over. I’m scared what I will do then.

AMDB Just not worth it
  • replies: 4

I am a sixty year old male and I have come to the conclusion the world doesn't care about anyone who isn't young and is suffering. The people around me will miss my wallet and money, but sadly I feel the will not miss me. My second wife saw me lookin... View more

I am a sixty year old male and I have come to the conclusion the world doesn't care about anyone who isn't young and is suffering. The people around me will miss my wallet and money, but sadly I feel the will not miss me. My second wife saw me looking at some porn on the internet and she reckons she must be married a pervert. When she gets a idea in her head there is no moving it, so I will be a pervert for the rest of my life. She told me a few days ago that being with me makes her want to vomit. She is my world and my only friend. Her first husband also committed suicide and I think I now finally understand. I don't think anyone could live up to her standards. I got a referral from my GP to see a psychiatrist, I call every psychiatrist in Brisbane, none would see me because they don't work with people like me. I called every day to New Farm clinic and Toowong clinic for weeks, but nothing. All psychiatrists are full and most don't "take on" older patients. I was told by one receptionist that if I had tried suicide and failed then she could get me an emergency appointment. I asked, what if I tried and don't fail. She didn't answer and just suggested I phone someone else. When you get past a certain age, you become invisible and no long valued by society. I can't go through another divorce at my age and I am just pulling everyone down with me. I am just tied of living, of the battle, of the disappointments. I don't even know why I am writing on this forum. Thanks for listening.

Atlasiplier I don't know where to go from here
  • replies: 2

Hi, I've been feeling really hopeless and suicidal recently and I'm not completely sure how to get help. I have a lot of trouble with motivation but I'm also sick of people telling me to "just breathe" or "take it one step at a time" but that doesn't... View more

Hi, I've been feeling really hopeless and suicidal recently and I'm not completely sure how to get help. I have a lot of trouble with motivation but I'm also sick of people telling me to "just breathe" or "take it one step at a time" but that doesn't help anymore! I need someone to convince me it's worth it to keep going. I'm not doing it because of my family or friends, I just don't think I should continue. I don't know, I've been feeling like this for almost 2 years now and I just feel it's time to give up.

Chloe9826 Struggling with intrusive thoughts
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts but they do not feel like my own. It has been happening for about 6 months now. My sister committed suicide two years ago and my rational mind would do it or put my family through anything bu... View more

Hi everyone, I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts but they do not feel like my own. It has been happening for about 6 months now. My sister committed suicide two years ago and my rational mind would do it or put my family through anything but I feel very trapped. Sometimes I have good days and then every two days I feel very very low. I feel like I talk about how depressed I have been with my boyfriend and I feel bad because I want our time to be happy together. I exercise, try to eat healthy and spend time with friends and dont drink often. I am trying so hard to do all the things i am meant to do. I have been to therapy a number of times but I felt like every week I wasnt getting anywhere and mindfullness kind of makes me anxious, especially when my thoughts dont go away. In my bad states my mind is either depressed and doesnt want to be here or angry at my family. My dad is an alcoholic and also struggles with depression but i get so irritable with my parents and struggle to show empathy. I feel like a bad person. I really want to stop feeling like this but my hope keeps disappearing the longer it goes.