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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Apple2468 Confused looking for support
  • replies: 6

Hello Since a child I have had depression and anxiety. My dad was not mentally stable and would often use violence out of anger without explaining why or what I had done wrong. I developed severe OCD to cope, where I couldn't walk into a room or take... View more

Hello Since a child I have had depression and anxiety. My dad was not mentally stable and would often use violence out of anger without explaining why or what I had done wrong. I developed severe OCD to cope, where I couldn't walk into a room or take a shower without doing some type of repetitive behaviour. I was bullied in primary and high school, so dropped out half way through year 9. I tired my year 10 and HSC at TAFE twice then my mother passed away when I was 15. The next few years where spent in psychiatric hospitals and with eating disorders/self harm. I went back to TAFE for more courses, only to be sexually assaulted by a teacher a couple of times. I have reported this to the police since. My older sister became very violent towards me and especially my father and continues to threaten him with violence so she can get money/valuables off him. She's academically bright, is starting a PHD and is extremely cunning at manipulation. I keep a healthy distance from her. I got into a relationship with a controlling, violent man for 4.5 years after turning 19. He hit me on a few occasions, I lost contact with my friends and my self esteem plummeted. Our relationship was very toxic. Over the course of a day, I packed up the flat we shared and my dad helped me move my stuff out. By now my dads temper had calmed down a lot. I moved work places, as my ex also worked at the same place as me. I worked as a postal worker and stupidly got involved with a guy and his friends who were hard core into drugs. He ended up leaving me, which probably saved my life and ganged up on me at work. It was time to leave when they started jeopardising my safety and tampering with my motorcycle. Cut a long story short, I lived on my own for a few months while slowly running out money, realised living by myself was a bad idea and moved in with some long time family friends who lived in a rural area. They where very loving and supportive. Living with them was hard and I found myself crying a lot. One of the girls was in a happy relationship and I wondered if I would ever experience a healthy, loving relationship. I recently moved to Perth knowing only 1 other person. I've found a supportive GP and psychologist. I practice breathing exercises, joined a martial arts studio and have an unstable job in a supermarket, so looking for cafe work. I feel like people are out to hurt me and am battling suicidal thoughts most days. They are very intense. Continuing living feels pointless.

jujusbizarrecircus Intrusive thoughts
  • replies: 7

For the past two years I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts about suicide. Like a pesky fly buzzing around the room on good days, like a swarm of flies armed with clubs and bludgeoning my head in on bad days. Sometimes it's because I forgot to b... View more

For the past two years I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts about suicide. Like a pesky fly buzzing around the room on good days, like a swarm of flies armed with clubs and bludgeoning my head in on bad days. Sometimes it's because I forgot to buy orange juice, other times because I worry that I said something that might make my friends not like me anymore. Sometimes there's just no obvious reason. It's like an automated, scheduled reminder of how messed up my head is. I don't think I actually want to die. There are many things I love about being alive, like music, D&D, and my friends. Sometimes I feel like life is a sham, and I just get tired of it all, but ultimately I want to keep going because I do have things to live for. It's so isolating, though. How do you talk about having daily suicidal thoughts when you're not really that suicidal? I feel guilty about making people worried about me, so I haven't told anyone except my psychologist and strangers online (like you all ). But I don't want to keep it all in anymore. I think I want to tell one of my friends about it, someone who's sort of going through something similar and who'd get it instead of freaking out. Idk, I'm just tired.

Teegs_ I dont know how to keep living
  • replies: 8

This has been a long time coming. For as long as I can remember I've had the feeling that I don't belong on this planet. I can't say why, I go to sleep every night praying I don't wake up the next day. I've come up with hundreds of ways to end my lif... View more

This has been a long time coming. For as long as I can remember I've had the feeling that I don't belong on this planet. I can't say why, I go to sleep every night praying I don't wake up the next day. I've come up with hundreds of ways to end my life. I couldn't do that to my mum. Even though I've had these thoughts for as long as i can remember, when it came down to it I couldn't hurt my mum. But lately I'm starting to realise people move on so it getting easier to finally pull the trigger. This is my last real hope. I don't have anything. The hardest part to understand is why me. Why do i feel this way all the time. I dont want pity, I grew up with a pretty average childhood. When i was young my family was great. We were that family that was out doing things together all day every day. Then dad left, shit went downhill. The thing is though, even when it was good, I wasn't. Ive never felt like I fit in anywhere. All my friends leave. I'm not sure if its me or i just choose the shit ones. It probably is me. IM DEPRESSED. who wants to be friends with someone that's depressed and is always bring everyone down. I don't leave the house. I haven't eaten in days. I've tried, but nothing stays down. I feel like I'm reaching the end of my road. I think my book and officially written and over. I've tried everything. Nothing works. This feeling is with me forever. and i guess theirs only one real way to cure this disease.

Lost__ Everyone would be better off without me
  • replies: 5

Never made a post like this so I don't really know what to say, but I'm a 23 year old female. My birthday is in a few weeks but I feel hopeless that I won't make it to 24. I've been depressed since I was about 14 years old, but things got severe when... View more

Never made a post like this so I don't really know what to say, but I'm a 23 year old female. My birthday is in a few weeks but I feel hopeless that I won't make it to 24. I've been depressed since I was about 14 years old, but things got severe when I was 18-19. I started self harming and kept it hidden so no one knew. I feel ugly, stupid, worthless and not good enough. One night when I was 19 a family member found me crying in my room self-harming and contemplating suicide and I had to start going to hospital/therapy. I've stayed overnight in hospital a few times, and was admitted to a psychiatric ward for a month when I was 20. I've struggled with alcohol dependency and binge drinking because it cleared my mind, but it caused a lot of problems and regrets. Things had gotten better and 8 months ago I was the happiest I'd ever been with my new job and boyfriend. I've been on and off meds because sometimes they don't help. I love my boyfriend, friends and family so much and I can't imagine my life without them. But in the past 4 months has been the hardest of my life and I don't know how to cope anymore. Something horrible happened and it was all my fault. I hate myself and I want to self harm but can't hide it anymore and continue to do it. I can't tell anyone this because I don't want to hurt them. I have been so depressed and draining to everyone around me and although I am trying my hardest to not bring anyone down I keep doing so. I feel like I wasn't meant to be born, I don't know where to go. I don't want to be anywhere anymore. My usual coping skills aren't working and nothing distracts me from how worthless I feel and that my brain is trying to kill me. The love I feel for everyone is overwhelming but so is the hatred for myself and the urge to destroy myself. But I could never hurt everyone around me by attempting suicide, so I feel stuck here, I'm only here for my loved ones. If I could kill myself without hurting anyone I would. I just don't want to get to the point where I actually do attempt suicide and hurt everyone around me. I feel so guilty all of the time and I don't know if I'll ever feel truly happy again. I just want to die i want the pain to stop and I just know everyone would be better off if I wasn't around, I think I bring bad things around me

Cookie64 Feeling used, abused and discarded
  • replies: 1

Been good friends with my brother in law and a long time friend. About 10 years ago I started taking them 4wding to places like the Cape, Kimberley, Simpson Desert and practically all over Australia and in fact they met the current group of friends a... View more

Been good friends with my brother in law and a long time friend. About 10 years ago I started taking them 4wding to places like the Cape, Kimberley, Simpson Desert and practically all over Australia and in fact they met the current group of friends as a result of our travels to the Vic High Country. Last year I took them on the Canning Stock Route and felt that they were doing nothing to help, I put on the coffee in the morning, cooked breakfast, packed my swag and loaded mine and their swags on top of the 4wd, drove for anywhere up to 8 hours, unpacked, set up my swag and then cooked dinners for them. The only thing my brother in law did was to wash the dishes, when we broke down, twice, they stood there not offering to help and left me to do everything. When we got back work took a serious turn for the worse as the Federal Government changed the way they did procurements cutting me off at the legs basically, couple this with what happened has sent me into a deep spiral and have to fight back tears often in order to hide my pain from my wife & kids. I have been polite but not overly outgoing to either of them since we came back but have learn't that I have been effectively outcast from the group of friends with my Sister in Law and Brother in Law conspiring to turn these "friends" against me leaving me to dwell on what happened and wondering why and how I could be so blind not to see them taking advantage of me - they have done this before with other friends. She is quite manipulative and deceiving and I think has them fooled. My friend approached me the other day and came around for a chat to see what was going on as I wasn't at several functions (I wasn't invited) and so I told him how I felt, what I held back was what my Sister in Law had been saying about his wife which was absolutely disgusting, she told my youngest daughter and have heard it now from a couple of different sources. I thought we left on reasonable terms and hoped that he would call me in a couple of days. I called him today and was told he needed more time to let what I told him settle in but feel that I have lost him as a friend. I am about to go on a holiday to Fraser Island for a couple of weeks but feel like I may just be a hinderance to the others in the group with my constant state of depression and tearfulness. I am really at a loss as to what to do, I don't want to burden or worry my wife or kids but have really no one else that I can talk to

lizzie50 13 Reasons Why
  • replies: 17

I'm not sure if anyone has seen the Netflix series 13 reasons why. A young girl stating through tapes 13 reasons that lead to her killing herself, the people involved then reading the tapes. I just finished watching the series and it really hit hard ... View more

I'm not sure if anyone has seen the Netflix series 13 reasons why. A young girl stating through tapes 13 reasons that lead to her killing herself, the people involved then reading the tapes. I just finished watching the series and it really hit hard to home for me, being able to relate to a lot that she went through and feeling like life just doesnt get better. I've had anxiety my whole life and depression severely in the past 6 months due to a nasty breakup with an emotionally abusive narcissist that still feels the need to belittle me and our relationship. I often take to heart what others say about me and care deeply of their opinions of me. Before watching this show, i actually wrote several letters to people who have impacted my life both positively and negatively. I wrote one to my ex that was straight to the point of how he treated me and spoke to me hurt and how much words hurt. He left and broke up with me during a bad time for me when he was the only one i trusted enough to share my darkest thoughts. The letter pointed out all his lies and stories he made up about me, his fears and insecurities that led him to run away. I do blame him for the way i am now, for the emotional and mental abuse. Previously i've pointed out to him what is in the letter and how i have been feeling. It destroyed me even more how he reacted to it. Telling me that all i do is play victim, ive ruined his life, i wouldn't take no as answer, every nasty name you could call someone, liar, cheat, dramatic, over sensitive. He claims he hasn't done anything to me at all, he simply just woke up and didnt want me anymore (lie) Telling me that ive caused my depression, he has nothing to do with me. He said me telling him my dark suicidal thoughts has pushed him over the edge and he doesnt want to deal with me because he cant see why and that im being stupid. That he wouldn't feel guilty cause I am just pretending to be upset to make him feel guilty and sad. My point is that during the series i watched the individuals felt a great deal of guilty for what they had done to her. Why does my ex not see what his done? Why cant he accept his wrongs now rather than when its too late? What goes through a narcissist persons mind to not feel empathy or be mature enough to admit when messing up? I was baffled and heart broken to pour my heart out and get that response. The series really touched my heart and this was playing on my mind.

Gray_13 Feeling really down and struggling
  • replies: 12

Hi guys, I am new to Beyond Blue and to completely honest it has taken me a long time to build up the courage to reach out for advice and help. I am feeling very down and have been having suicidal thoughts over the last month. To give a bit of a back... View more

Hi guys, I am new to Beyond Blue and to completely honest it has taken me a long time to build up the courage to reach out for advice and help. I am feeling very down and have been having suicidal thoughts over the last month. To give a bit of a background, I am a 28 year old male, I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and spent a few years on anti-depressants which helped me out a lot. As I got older I got quite a bit better but that has all changed recently. I have found that as a male it is really hard to tell people how I am feeling. I feel very alone, and do not entirely trust my friends or the people around me. I feel like they are laughing at me or talking about me behind my back. I know this sounds a bit pathetic but it is how I am feeling and I really needed to get it off my chest. It is really hurting me feeling this way and every single day I start feeling even more down and worthless. i really dont know where to go or who to turn to for help. As I am writing this I am nearly in tears. If anyone on here has ideas about how I can overcome these feelings I would really appreciate any advice. Thanks, Gray

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

shay2 I just want to curl into a ball and die
  • replies: 6

(I have posted a few times) My life is a constant roller coaster of up's and down's. Some days you wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off my face and others you wouldn't even be able to get a smile up there. I have never been pretty or skinny. I have... View more

(I have posted a few times) My life is a constant roller coaster of up's and down's. Some days you wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off my face and others you wouldn't even be able to get a smile up there. I have never been pretty or skinny. I have never had boys falling for me left right and centre and I have never been "ok" with how I look. I am suicidal and I self harm. I just want attention right? No in fact attention is the last thing I seek from the people around me. No one knows how I really feel and I don't plan on telling them any time soon. I guess I'm on here because it's so much easier to talk to a stranger over the internet. There is two boys in my life right now and both I have fallen for. The first one is really attractive and most of the time he is nice to me but sometimes he can be a real d**k to me. He is a very horny guy but I just brush that off as a teenage thing. The second one has been my best friend for 2 years and he's a cool guy, we went out for 3 months then broke up when I started pushing him away because of an eating disorder. I still like him very much and he likes me but the problem is he is leaving to live in Brisbane soon and I don't know if I can do a long distance relationship. I am so lost and I have no idea what to do anymore and it feels like my head is spinning with all these thoughts and voices that make me want to scream. or curl up in a ball and die.