Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

hellohi Pressures from friendships, family and school are making me feel so alone.
  • replies: 384

Hi, I feel very alone and I feel nobody wants to hear me. I try to talk to my parents as much as I can about everything stupid to important, but they don’t understand or respect my opinion. They always taunt me and they are never satisfied with whate... View more

Hi, I feel very alone and I feel nobody wants to hear me. I try to talk to my parents as much as I can about everything stupid to important, but they don’t understand or respect my opinion. They always taunt me and they are never satisfied with whatever I do. I can't talk to them about how I feel. They would never show me their affection, they never hug me, or give me a proper response for my special moments or properly spend time with me. They avoid me. I don't have a strong relationship with anyone. I know I am very overweight and extremely ugly, I have to put up with it myself every day of my life. I hate the way I walk, talk and I am dumb in everything I do. So many times I have known the answer or have an idea, but I cannot say it out loud in class. I am fine with sharing things with my friends and sometimes other students in my class, but even with them I feel ignored and alone, as I cannot keep up with things going on in their lives, they all have social media and I don’t and they go all travelling and I have never been out the house except to go to school. Or they simply don’t want to talk to me because of my ugly looks and lack of popularity. There are students in my class who everyone respects because they are good-looking not caring how rude they can be, everyone tells me being beautiful in the inside is more important, but no one cares about being kind. I feel so out of place. I try my hardest to look skinny, I wear clothes that I think will help me do that, I try to keep my things clean and tidy and I try to be nice as much as I can. Nothing works, I always feel the same; alone and stupid. I don’t want any of my friends and family to know about how I feel. But with my parents, my younger brother and my friends ignoring me and making me feel alone, make me think about suicide and I can't sleep during the night or wake up early in the morning. I don’t feel loved, happy or accepted in the people I am surrounded with. I feel weak, alone, misunderstood, ugly, sad, confused and a burden on everyone. I feel confused as I got no idea where I want to work. I feel stupid and sad because my grandma has breast cancer and I haven’t seen her, all I have done is make her miserable, I want to talk to her which I can’t do it through a phone call, because at that moment I don’t want to say and I don't know if she wants to talk to me. Maybe I am overreacting because so many other people go through worse things than me, but this is how I feel

Zelia Need someone to talk to
  • replies: 5

Hi my name is Jacinta I am currently contemplating self harm but I know I shouldn’t and I just have no one to talk to about my feelings. If I capsule just even have someone to talk to please it would help.

Hi my name is Jacinta I am currently contemplating self harm but I know I shouldn’t and I just have no one to talk to about my feelings. If I capsule just even have someone to talk to please it would help.

Russian_Red_Foxx A few ways to help calm your thoughts down or redirect them.
  • replies: 2

I previously posted these ideas in another thread, but I thought I might post them here as well. These are some effective methods I use to help calm down and soothe my thoughts: -As my name and profile suggests, I LOVE foxes. Sometimes I find that a ... View more

I previously posted these ideas in another thread, but I thought I might post them here as well. These are some effective methods I use to help calm down and soothe my thoughts: -As my name and profile suggests, I LOVE foxes. Sometimes I find that a great way to ease my pain is just by looking at pictures of them or adding to my board on Pintrest. We are all different, so even if you are not a fan of foxes, you can still use any other type of animal you find cute. -Pretend that you have a pet. Even if you already have a cat or a dog, think of something more calming and adorable. I am sure it is no suprise that mine is a fox called Lucy. She often likes to cuddle up with me in bed and sometimes tries to steal my food, still cute though. Like I said before, not everybody loves foxes, so just find what suits you best. If you already find that one of your current pets suits you well, then try to have some quality time with them. -Have a shower. I often find that showers can be extremely soothing mentally and physically as it gives me a feeling of breaking free from dirt and bad moods. This may not be the best option in areas with tight water restrictions though... -Make some tea. I often find that a nice cup of tea is the most effective method of relaxing my mind and muscles. Particularly on a cold and rainy day. My ideal cup is some nice strong black tea with a spot of milk and no sugar. Like I would have said before, not everybody is the same, so your ideas may differ. These are just some things that I find helpful. Russian_Red_Foxx

Anastasia_m Not sure how to stop feeling suicidal
  • replies: 3

Hello, I’m new to joining but I’ve heard good things about beyond blue so I thought I’d give it a try. i suffer from severe depression and anxiety and have for about 9 years now. I’m only in my early twenties (yesterday was my birthday lol) so this s... View more

Hello, I’m new to joining but I’ve heard good things about beyond blue so I thought I’d give it a try. i suffer from severe depression and anxiety and have for about 9 years now. I’m only in my early twenties (yesterday was my birthday lol) so this should be the last thing I feel but unfortunately it isn’t. I’ve recently gotten out of a 7 year relationship it was very toxic and abusive - he cheated and abused me in many ways I’ve come to believe he is some form of a narcissist. I’m glad I got out and I’ve been seeing someone new which has been going well I really like him. But since finding out my last partner has also started to move on its effected my self worth as I did everything to try to make it work and he ended up leaving and will probably do things for her I always asked for. I know this will pass and I see a psychologist often but I still can’t shake the feelings of heaviness and that it would probably be easier for me if I wasn’t her as my hearts so heavy and I’ve gone through so much pain. I’ve never attempted and I don’t think I will anytime soon but the feelings won’t go away and are getting bad again. I wanted to see what people’s best coping mechanisms are besides the generic ones such as exercise and meditation etc. I’m also on antidepressants and have been again for about 2 years - they sort of numb it but not entirely. Any help is appreciated. It would be nice to go a day without feeling empty and sad lol. Thank you

Lazy_Mario New member who needs help helping a partner
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone! I have joined this forum to ask for help with my suicidal boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend have been having issues for months now and I have just today called it quits and broke up with him. He has been suicidal our entire relationship (2 ... View more

Hi everyone! I have joined this forum to ask for help with my suicidal boyfriend. Me and my boyfriend have been having issues for months now and I have just today called it quits and broke up with him. He has been suicidal our entire relationship (2 years) and years before we met too. He is a 3 hour drive away from me at the moment, so I don't know what he has near him in terms of self harm tools or anything else which may be harmfull. I am just lost and don't know what to do. Nothing I say seems to get through to him, because he thinks I hate him and am just saying these things so that I don't have a guilty conscience. I love him and always will, my decision to break up never had anything to do with that, but with both of our toxic behavior affecting the other. I guess I am just here as a last resort, I dont know what I can do to stop him from going over the edge, especially being so far away from him and not being able to do anything to make sure his surroundings are safe for him. Thankyou in advance for any advice

lost_empty1 Wanting to disappear
  • replies: 11

Hi everyone, I'm a bit nervous about leaving this comment as I've never really spoken to anyone about this. I don't even understand entirely how I feel and so if I can't understand it, how am I supposed to be able to explain it? I feel like I just wa... View more

Hi everyone, I'm a bit nervous about leaving this comment as I've never really spoken to anyone about this. I don't even understand entirely how I feel and so if I can't understand it, how am I supposed to be able to explain it? I feel like I just want to disappear. Cease to exist. I don't particularly want to kill myself (in all honesty I think I'm too scared to) but I don't want to be here anymore. But all I think about is death. Dying. However it may happen as long it happens to me. Finally being at peace. I feel worthless and helpless. I have no passions or desires. I'm just constantly scared I guess... and empty at the same time if that makes sense. I feel like I don't belong here and I don't think I really want to. I hate compliments and people telling me I deserve to be here because I'm such a wonderful person with a bright future and so much potential. But they don't really know me. Not like I know myself (and I don't even really know myself. But what I do know, I hate). Truth is I just don't want to be here. I love my family and friends and I am so grateful to have them in my life. They make me happy. But they're just a distraction because when I'm truly alone, I realise just how unhappy I actually am and it scares me. They think I'm ok. Maybe it's because I act ok around them. Whenever someone says what they like about me it's always to do with how contagious my smile/laugh is, my bubbly personality etc etc etc. But I'm miserable on the inside. Always. If they knew what went on in my head... it'd be the shock of the century to them. I'm probably typing all of this in the wrong forum and I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time I just really needed to get this off my chest. So yeh, thank you to anyone who read this... if anyone read this

Russian_Red_Foxx Always feeling depressed in class.
  • replies: 2

I am not too sure where to start, but I am almost always feeling depressed. Particularly in class and at home. In the past week, I have basically cried myself to sleep every night and I just feel hopeless. I don't know where to get support (I'm curre... View more

I am not too sure where to start, but I am almost always feeling depressed. Particularly in class and at home. In the past week, I have basically cried myself to sleep every night and I just feel hopeless. I don't know where to get support (I'm currently typing this is class) and I feel too embaressed to talk about it with teachers at school or with parents. I am also constantly upset in class and my productivity is getting worse and worse. I have been worried about missing out on assessments and work. I am also taking anti-depressants but I feel that they haven't been working out lately. I have also been struggling alot with family. I feel that I want to hide and bottle my problems up and that suicide is the only thing that is left for me. I have a bunch of ways to calm myself down but none of them are available when I am in class. I apologise if this was kind of hard to read but I am always feeling like a mess. Russian_Red_Foxx

Lagela Recovering from an attempt
  • replies: 10

I am blank and whilst not unhappy that it wasn’t successful, I am absolutely petrified for the future. Who am I now? I feel the same worthlessness as before but even more. I’m getting all the help there is - therapist, meds, community health. I think... View more

I am blank and whilst not unhappy that it wasn’t successful, I am absolutely petrified for the future. Who am I now? I feel the same worthlessness as before but even more. I’m getting all the help there is - therapist, meds, community health. I think I just need to hear some friendly voices and similar stories. Please help.

Roads_End Wonderful loving wife and thats the problem
  • replies: 21

Like I have seen so many others here write "I don't know why I'm writing this" as I know the only person that can solve this is me. I've suffered depression for 40 + years, medication has helped keep the worst of it at bay, there has even been long s... View more

Like I have seen so many others here write "I don't know why I'm writing this" as I know the only person that can solve this is me. I've suffered depression for 40 + years, medication has helped keep the worst of it at bay, there has even been long stretchers where life is really good and the thought of ending yourself seems incomprehensible, sadly 3 years ago the good times ended, the medication that had worked for 18 years failed, all medications tried since do nothing, ECT helped for a while but didn't hold which brings me to not wanting to fight anymore, 40 years is too long, easy solution . do what I should done years ago.I know how I'll do it, i'm ready to do it, I have no fear of doing it, problem solved except for my wonderful loving wife of 36 years. I end my pain and course her grief and pain so for the last 3 years I've just sucked it up even though every minute I'm awake I wish I was dead. What the hell do I do I dont want to hurt my wife but I can go on much longer. I wouldn't want my wife to hurt and grieve due to the betrayal of suicide.

Supermum It’s been a long time
  • replies: 16

Hello all . It’s been a long time since I felt the need to post . I guess that’s a bad thing to feel the need again . I feel lost alone etc what’s the point .

Hello all . It’s been a long time since I felt the need to post . I guess that’s a bad thing to feel the need again . I feel lost alone etc what’s the point .