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When it's not healthy to compare the pair!

Petra
Community Member

I believe I cope reasonably well with my anxiety. I have compiled a fabulous mental health tool box over time, full of all sorts of stuff to help me keep balanced and pull it out on any sign of the wobbles. There is one thing that sneaks up on me though, and quickly, and unexpectedly, which can bring me down with a thud .... comparing. I don't spend too much time via media celebrity watching for this reason, have never been big on it, wasn't close enough to home to warrant my attention but a snippet of it, or just seeing others sometimes is a trigger. Once on the 'comparing' track I start with the self loathing eg I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.... and worse....my husband can do better than me! I know.... (head lowered here).... how much he truly loves me, and would be horrified if I shared this thought with him. Sorry....that's why I'm sharing it with you! This intrusive thinking is downright annoying and unhealthy. This is one bump in my otherwise smooth journey at the moment. I'm seeing a psych soon and this will be one of my opening lines....but just wondering if anyone else has thoughts on 'comparing oneself to others'?

Pet 😊

102 Replies 102

Glad you enjoy my bird stories, Pet. I never get tired of telling them (and I like hearing about your beasties, too). Perhaps you'd enjoy one of Sir Pecksalot's early adventures. My ex (who wasn't my ex at the time) was in the laundry with aforementioned little puffball, who had only recently started walking. And I was in the kitchen, calling to him. After a while, he looked to me, and started off in my direction. Run, run, run, straight to my hands, I was delighted. And then... Peck! He was so pleased with himself.

I chuckled when you mentioned "interviewing" the next doctor. I guess it is an interview, isn't it? You don't have to employ her, if you don't want to.

I too am interested in your journey with your psych. In amusing anecdote format. 😛

Mary, I got a couple of chuckles out of your post. Thanks. 🙂

Blue.

Mary my sweet! That's nice of you to say re my humour "don't you dare leave BB!"

Guess where I am at the moment! No idea? Okay....I'm in the hairdressers! Yeah! My hairdresser is ace. I tell her if she ever leaves here...I'll track her down! She just laughs. Wait....I'll tell her again..... Yep! Same response. She doesn't think I'm serious! What's that...borderline illegal? Surely that rule doesn't apply to good hairdressers?! It's a lifetime contract as far as I'm concerned when you find a good one! Vic may think otherwise! Nah! She loves me. Smart girl!

How are you? You want to be taller to look slimmer? I'm of average height too. Standing in compost whichever form isn't going to help I'm afraid. I'd be a giant by now that being the case!! I'm always in the #%^*!! Goose, chooks, horse.... hee, hee! Yep, hubby went to check out the compost tea and didn't have to get too close to work out its brewing just nicely! Now pray tell, where does he think he's going to use it?! I can give him a strong tip.....won't be on the plants anywhere near the house!

I think DH is a reasonable abbreviation for Dr Doogie Howser II, think of the many characters I can save in my posts! Thank you and bless him of course!

Time machine! I want one too! Here's the deal....let's meet in Parkes for the moon landing! I want to look at the moon through the telescope! I'm not sure the time machine can take me to the moon itself? Besides, I don't want helmet hair, and I think my butt might look big in the spacesuit!

Overhoodled! Some silly word my siblings say that means 'overdoing' something! I'm always overhoodling! My Physio tells me I'm 'bang, bang, smash'! I overdo physical activity for say two days and then can't move like a healthy human being should on the third! How rude!

Yep, I'm a public servant (don't hold that against me)! I'm worth the tax money! I'm passionate about my job, and a hard worker!! If I do say so myself!

You can come on the psych journey! No problems.

Hugs and kisses to you my BB buddy.

Petra 😻

Hello Petra

No I don't hold it against you for being a public servant. I was one also, state. And yes I thought I was good value and I very much liked my job. I introduced the Anti-discrimination Act into the office plus sexual harassment. Ah those were the days when I had to tell a roomful of senior male management the meaning of sexual harassment and discrimination.I felt like I had been run over by a truck afterwards. They were so angry because none of them ever did anything like that and neither did they allow their staff to do so. Hmm!

Actually it was quite interesting later because many of these managers became my friends at work. They realised the sterling work I did. 😊

I think you will enjoy this quote.

Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges.
But eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

Barbara Johnson

It amused me when I came across it and I printed it out for my hairdresser.

Yes I agree, no good hairdresser is allowed to move away, retire, change jobs, and they must guarantee to stay alive until you no longer need them.

Actually I'm not even average height. I just about make 5ft 2 inches. I never know what that is in cm. So being six inches taller would make a lot of difference to my width. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I also know that losing a few kilos would make me slimmer but where's the fun in that.

Well if you are so anxious to go time travelling I'll borrow the TARDIS from the good doctor and we can go anywhere we wish. You could be on the moon to welcome those blokes who took the long way round.

Your psych appointment is coming up soon I believe. How are you feeling? I have one next week with my used-to-be psych. I admit to feeling nervous. Haven't seen him for six months.

I took my granddaughter to lunch on Thursday to celebrate her 21st birthday. Took her brother as well since he lives with me. It was rather nice.

Managed to pick up a bug somewhere so I have been 'resting' for a few days. In reality I could not muster the energy to write more than a couple of replies on BB at any one time. Getting well again, just a little tired. So in order to prove what a tough cookie I am I did several loads of washing then went grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping. I wonder why I feel exhausted?

So my lovely, take care of yourself.

Mary

Petra
Community Member

Hi Mary

How are you feeling now? Better I hope.

Wow! Sexual harassment policies in the workplace. They were brought in just in case someone thought about doing it (tongue in cheek here)! I'd like to take the Tardis, go back in time, and tip a few ice cold buckets over a few white collar hot heads! I envy you being the messenger on the subject! Good job!

I love the hairdresser quote. Thank you. I'll be reading that out to Vic next visit. So very true.

Have you been to your psych visit yet? I go to the psych again next week. Poor thing. I wonder who counsels the psychs?! She hasn't cancelled on me yet, so it must have been tolerable for her.

I'm not sure what average height actually is? I just know I'm not tall! I'm 165 cm.

Thinking of you.

Pet 😊 xx

Lost_Girl
Community Member

Dear Pet,

I found you! I have to rush about this morning getting ready to go out and I am definitely not a morning person. However now I have found you I will catch up with interest later.

I hope today is good to you.

Carol xx

Petra
Community Member

Hi Carol

You found me!

All good thank you. I was quite productive today. Pleased with myself.

Hope you had a great day too.

Tomorrow's casual Friday ie casual clothes day at work.

xx

Lost_Girl
Community Member

Aww happy for you lovely! It does feel good when you accomplish things.

I had a good day too. The sunshine helped too, a natural mood lifter. Bring on the warmer weather - just not too much...I am lilly white and burn easy 😉

I used to like casual Fridays.

Carol xx

Hello Petra

It's been a while since I last communicated. Had a dreadful week. Saw the psychiatrist and told her I started to write the saga of my interactions with the person who bullied me. Hardly got started when the whole thing reared up and dumped on me. That was it. Can't do it again. Psych was nice even though I had what I expect looked like a temper tantrum. I think she got the point.

Then the next day I met with my ex psychologist and he told me about an event I have been stewing about for three years and sent me right back to step one. Yes I wanted to know and I had my suspicions but I never really expected to find out. That'll larn me. However I am very angry and hurt and want to cry and do all those things as well as scream and I don't know what else. Anything to take this pain away.

I really wish I could learn how to not feel anything. I am not brave or able when something hurts. I wish I could get rid of it.

So no stories today but thinking of you and hoping all is well for you.

Mary

Guest_5218
Community Member

Hi there Pet. Just thought I'd stop by to say hello to you today. I know yesterday was going to be a difficult day for you, and that you were unlikely to log on here. I didnt see you around, so I expect that was indeed the case.

I hope you managed to get through the day okay, and that perhaps some good memories are starting to take over from the more distressing ones as the years pass since the death of your Dad. I thought of you a number of times yesterday, perhaps you felt that?

I hope that today is a good day - for both you and your little Puddles the baby duck. So cute .........

Kind thoughts to you.

Sherie xx

Petra
Community Member

Mary, feeling for you. Sounds like you've hit a wall. No problems you're not up for stories and a chat. I'm feeling s bit average myself at the minute. Best power down for a bit to recharge. xx

Sherie, thanks for thinking of me. I'm feeling a bit odd at present. My psych cancelled due to illness today but I'm off to see a new GP tomorrow. As above, I'm going to lay low for a bit. xx