When it's not healthy to compare the pair!

[Petra]

I believe I cope reasonably well with my anxiety. I have compiled a fabulous mental health tool box over time, full of all sorts of stuff to help me keep balanced and pull it out on any sign of the wobbles. There is one thing that sneaks up on me though, and quickly, and unexpectedly, which can bring me down with a thud .... comparing. I don't spend too much time via media celebrity watching for this reason, have never been big on it, wasn't close enough to home to warrant my attention but a snippet of it, or just seeing others sometimes is a trigger. Once on the 'comparing' track I start with the self loathing eg I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.... and worse....my husband can do better than me! I know.... (head lowered here).... how much he truly loves me, and would be horrified if I shared this thought with him. Sorry....that's why I'm sharing it with you! This intrusive thinking is downright annoying and unhealthy. This is one bump in my otherwise smooth journey at the moment. I'm seeing a psych soon and this will be one of my opening lines....but just wondering if anyone else has thoughts on 'comparing oneself to others'?

Pet 😊

[Petra]

Hi Mary

Your stories are a treat, please don't refrain. I learn from stories, and I believe I'm one to explain things by giving an example by way of a story too.

So, you're no stranger to country life yourself? I'm not sure how the turkey pooped on demand. It may be a little squeeze to the chick that brought this on!? We have a female turkey that behaves like a chicken, and is a better mum than a hen, because as we recently found out, gets clucky and sits and incubates all egg genres! She successfully hatched 5 chicks, giving us adorable hens to hand raise, my favourite being aptly named 'Cocoa' due to colouring and my love for chocolate! Cocoa just recently had a name change to Coco-nuts! If you get my meaning?! 😶

My bruise is slowly disappearing and after hubby also copped a beauty, we now walk around our geese with rake in-hand! Now who's got the longer neck?!

I don't have a milking cow but hubby knows I'd like one! I don't like my chances! Staying out overnight and going for holidays means finding someone to care for the beasties as it is! The four kids come in handy at these times luckily, and we're warming up to the idea of offering the place to friends and work acquaintances for a free get-away in the event the kids aren't available. My Mum's health is not great these days and as much as she wants us to ask her first, we've had to bypass her as an option, as a result of her health and subsequent behaviour! Mum has prior! A history consisting to date of worrying the neighbours, calling police and ambulance, hospital visits, and climbing over barb wire fences to rescue geese resulting in physical damage to herself. You know? The usual stuff parents get up to when their kids are away! I do invite my mum to stay with me when hubby goes away for work, and we have somewhat quality mother-daughter time. I must admit that I do stock the wine fridge before day one of these visits, and on coming home from work I walk straight to it! I love my mum to bits, I just find one drink helps numb the pain!

The psych you describe sounds like an arrogant so and so, and exactly what I didn't want to encounter of my own this time round. If I did.....I may pull out a note pad and pen, and say something like "... come sit down, tell me, what compelled you to keep me waiting for half an hour and so on.....?" Slap a makeshift Invoice down on his desk, and walk out saying "You have seven days to pay!"

Always good for a chat Mary.

Your friend.

Pet 😊 xx

[Petra]

One more thing Mary, yes I did find it helpful. It was a getting to know you visit, and no tissues were required! My psych has anxiety also, and many members of her family. It was one of the reasons she chose her profession. This dpesks volumes to me. I have even being provided with her email address in case I need! She's a country bumpkin like me (practically neighbours) even though there's a few km's between us, and can talk 'cat'! I have many pets and a cat was my first pet growing up. My children do refer to me, and themselves mind you, as crazy cat loving ladies! They get that from mummy! 😊

xx

[Guest_5218]

I'm really really pleased Pet that this psych experience was so different from your previous one. Worth the wait aye? Thats as it should be with the first appointment - a get to know you chat, and then to be able to walk away with a feeling that you can relate to them. That they have things in common, and that they actually seem to have a genuine interest in you. It an added bonus that you have some interests in common also because that can be a important way to start and end each session. It helps you to relax and open up more easily.

I look forward to hearing further news on how subsequent appointments go. I'm really quite excited for you. (-:

Hugs,

Sherie xx

[White_Rose]

Hello Petra

You know I find it very difficult to shorten your name. I never shortened my children's names because I decided that was the name they had been given and it should be used. Weird really as it is the Aussie way to shorten, or at times lengthen, a name making sure the original name is never used. Calling you Pet seems as though I am calling the cat in. 😊

The more stories I write the more I find myself remembering even more. We have had many pets in the family. Cats and dogs are of course the usual pets. Children had hamsters and we looked after the school mouse in the holidays. I'm sure the cats thought they were for tea. We had sheep, cows,turkeys, chickens and ducks. The ducks lived on the dam in a special enclosure to keep them safe. My boys and a friend decided to go for a swim in the duck enclose, because it was safe mommy, and had a good time. Apparently they decided after a time to remove their clothing because they were getting dirty. Eventually they trailed back to house preceded by the smell.

I hosed them down before allowing one step inside. They stripped outside, then went inside to the bath. Three very dirty and smelly boys. I had clean clothes for my boys but the other was taller etc. He was given the best fit of clothes I could find. Fortunately, when his mom came to collect him she laughed about it.

So pleased you have hit it off with the psych. It's good to know they have vulnerabilities and struggle as much as we do. It makes opening up a lot easier to know they really know where you are coming from. I had the email address of my last psych. It was his work email though, not home, but I also had his mobile number. He rarely answered the phone directly though. I think he listened to the message and then decided how important it was to respond. The problem with this outside of work communication I found was I got quite dependent on it. Had he answered every time I think I would have been talking to him at least once a day. Emails help to keep the distance but can signal when you are in huge trouble.

I used to talk to one of our cats. When I was preparing the evening meal he used to sit in the kitchen waiting for his tea. If it did not arrive soon enough he would pat my leg as I walked past. The pats became more frequent and hard as his need was not met. I used to talk to him about the need to wait. My son used to say to the others, "Watch out, mom's talking to the cat again". Such disrespectful children.

Mary

[Petra]

Hi Lovely Ladies

"Green acres is the place to be.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide.
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside."

No problems Mary not being able to call me Pet. I had a work colleague who couldn't either. I'm not fussed at all. Daughter #1 was given a nickname in primary school which appears to have stuck!I Her partner and step children call her this too, and I stop each time until I work it out. It doesn't come natural to me!

There's a few smells around this place too! Yesterday we collected horse pooh from around the place as we use it for useful stuff like composting and in making fertiliser tea!

We planted a tree yesterday, a magnolia, and will plant a comquot today.

Sherie and Mary thanks to you both, and all my friends here in BB I'm feeling a great deal better. I cooked dinner last night. Will most likely do the same tonight when Daughter #2 and boyfriend come for over. Things are not so overwhelming and choresome as before. Husband has noticed but kept it to himself as he didn't want to invite bad luck!

I visit the psych again in two weeks, and then three weekly visits. My homework is to find a GP that I like, and one who is going to monitor my pain and not just pass it off as health anxiety.

xx

[White_Rose]

Hello Petra

Glad you are feeling better. Cooked dinner eh. You can always come and cook my dinner. I was pondering over what to eat last night, grandson at work, when a friend phoned me and invited me to tea. I needed no second request. Had a lovely roast chicken, roast everything meal followed by custard apple. Mmmmm! Long time since I tasted a custard apple.

Visiting the psych in two weeks time is OK. Do you feel three weeks will be too long a gap? I say this because I want to go every day so that I get well again much faster. I don't think it works like that but not sure why. In any event I have not been asked.

How is the homework going? I consider myself lucky that I found my current GP when I moved to this house. I have heard some horror stories of GPs running a production line.

Horse pooh certainly has a fragrance of its own. Easier to handle though than any other sort.

Tree planting is good. When I lived with my husband we did a lot of planting, particularly trees in the belief they would shelter our home from the western sun. He didn't want big trees near the house for fairly obvious reasons and small trees I felt would not do much. The few trees I planted and kept watered etc, dies after I left. It seems they needed the feminine touch.

I'm with Sherie on wanting all the latest news about your psych.

Mary

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Greetings Pet,

I've had some difficulty reading your thread. Not because of content, but because Mr Feisty is hopping about on my keyboard and keeps jumping on "home". Cheeky bird.

Glad to see things seem to be looking up for you. Doing more cooking is good, and I'm very glad you found a psych you like. I have my first psych appointment in the not-too-distant future myself. I'm reasonably confident we'll get on fine, from our chat on the phone. Reality is, you're going to heal a lot better working with someone who makes you feel comfortable and open up. Hope the homework is going well. Mary's right that there are some doctors that treat it like a production line: I've come across one that didn't even ask what my symptoms were. Encouraging, eh? Good luck finding a decent one.

Live long and prosper.

Blue.

[Petra]

Hi Blue, Thanks for the visit here. I love hearing what your little feather babies get up to! Cheeky and adorable! If I'm not careful my cats will leap on to the keyboard in an effort to get close to me. My little cat (runt of the litter) likes to sit behind my laptop, keeping warm by the fan! When I studied and had copious books laid out over the dining table, my big fluffy cat of the day (RIP) would lay on one book, sweeping his tail across another which just so happened to be the one I was attempting to read! Animals are a gift to us humans aren't they? Please keep sharing your stories re the cheeky antics of your birds. Your stories always makes me smile.

Thank you for the encouragement re finding another GP. I have s plan B and have one to interview as explained in my response to Mary below!

Pet 😊 xx

[Petra]

Hi Mary, am taking a PDO (programmed day off) today as I overhoodled in the garden on the weekend and am nursing a few sore joints and muscles this morning, which caused below average sleep. I'm owed a day, so today's it!

The poor tree was terribly pot bound. Cost us a pretty penny too as it's 3 metres tall. We've taken all steps necessary to assist in settling it in as best we can. Fingers crossed. Hubby says I have a greener thumb than his, so he's loathe to plant anything without my being present at least! He's good at killing the weeds though! Bless him.

I've thought about interviewing the female GP in the same clinic as Dr Doogie Howser II. That's not nice (sorry, it's just frustration talking here, I wish him no ill), and asking her if she minds taking me on knowing that I'm dumping Doogie? I have to be honest with her from day one. For practicality, I believe it would be easier for her and me, especially as all my records are at that clinic. I saw her once for something simple, and she was okay. Though I got the impression she had come across notes about my being anxious, as she told me when the results would be in, what time to ring for them, and spent considerable time assuring me that if there's anything of note, I'll be called immediately, and not to worry! I found her insistence on this last comment bemusing and wanted to pat her hand and assure her I'd be okay, but I just reassured her with "I don't need to ring. I know you'll ring me if you need to." I never rang and I never received a call. What exactly has Doogie written on my records? Just another reason.... Paranoid thinking or justified assumption? I don't know and I don't care. The bottom line is simply that Doogie and I don't click. I only went to him because he was MIL and FIL's Dr, and I was their main carer, and my city GP was retiring.

I'm comfortable in reporting back to you and Sherie, and anyone else who may be interested, re my psych adventures!

Pet 😊 xx​

[White_Rose]

Hello Petra

I always enjoy your posts, so much humour. Don't you dare leave BB.

I have found a dose of diluted seaweed solution good for any plants that have been traumatised. Pity it doesn't work on humans. Perhaps if I stand in a tub of it I would grow a little taller and then my excess weight would not be as obvious? Wishful thinking?

You have a PDO? Glad you explained, it didn't sound nice. You must be in the public service. Surely private industry does not have these fanciful names. If I needed a day off for something I would use up the extra hours I had stored up. The unofficial name was a "mental health day". Even the bosses knew about it and I had one approve me taking time off and used that expression. At least they understood that sometimes you needed to be elsewhere.

Well, if you have someone you think will be OK as your GP, go for it. As you say, put all your cards on the table and tell her how you feel about Dr Doogie Howser II. I commented to my usual GP about the intern doctor who once told me no one had reactions to a particular painkiller. Nearly slipped up there wrote the name of the drug. Yes, I have been there with reassuring my GP. It's actually quite funny as the boot is usually on the other foot. I hope you hid your smile like a nicely brought up child.

My first homework from the psych was to get on to BB and have a good look round the site. I knew it existed but not thought any more about it. Read posts on the forum and reported back to the psych. I told him I had been thorough in my look around. He disputed that because I hadn't had enough time. Yes, you guessed it, I had not looked at the information or anything else for that matter. So that's how I came to be here. I wonder if he thought I would actually write in here and maybe that would take the pressure off him. Don't know and now of course I will never know. Where's that time machine when you need it?

If you are concerned you can ask what Dr DH wrote. Oh dear, I was trying to save characters then realise my initialese could be misread. Not that you would read anything into it.

I'm not sure you should feel you are reporting to me or anyone, but I am definitely interested in your journey. What does overhoodled mean?

Enjoy cooking tea tonight. I am on my own tonight again so I can eat what I like instead of what's good for me.

Mary