When it's not healthy to compare the pair!

[Petra]

I believe I cope reasonably well with my anxiety. I have compiled a fabulous mental health tool box over time, full of all sorts of stuff to help me keep balanced and pull it out on any sign of the wobbles. There is one thing that sneaks up on me though, and quickly, and unexpectedly, which can bring me down with a thud .... comparing. I don't spend too much time via media celebrity watching for this reason, have never been big on it, wasn't close enough to home to warrant my attention but a snippet of it, or just seeing others sometimes is a trigger. Once on the 'comparing' track I start with the self loathing eg I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough.... and worse....my husband can do better than me! I know.... (head lowered here).... how much he truly loves me, and would be horrified if I shared this thought with him. Sorry....that's why I'm sharing it with you! This intrusive thinking is downright annoying and unhealthy. This is one bump in my otherwise smooth journey at the moment. I'm seeing a psych soon and this will be one of my opening lines....but just wondering if anyone else has thoughts on 'comparing oneself to others'?

Pet 😊

[themadchatter]

I've already been deserted many times over and over so what does it matter if Pet or White Rose do that as well. I'm used to it

[White_Rose]

TMC I was referring to you deserting us, not the other way round. Please accept my apologies if I was not clear in my message. I wanted you to know we care about you and miss you on this thread.

Please continue to talk to us.

Mary

[Petra]

Hi Paul

I will allow the time and number of visits it takes with the psych. I'm grateful to Mary, Sherie, and yourself for sharing your experiences and offering encouragement. Everyone I've met on BB has helped me in some way. All of which won't be wasted. My previous cut-throat, slightly humourous comments re number of reasonable psych visits, more than likely come from fear and my wanting to have some control of the unknown. "Feel the fear and do it anyway" is my mantra as each day draws closer to the date of my psych visit. I'm much older than I was when I first visited the psych who cringed during a session at something I said, and where I never returned! These days I'm more likely to question "why the face?" and have a full blown discussion about it until I'm satisfied we can continue! I'll take the tissues to my visit, and bring it on! All will be good. It's time. I get it!

Your BB friend

Pet 😊 xx

[White_Rose]

Dear Petra

You are a joy and delight to 'talk' to. Yes, bring it on and get to the bottom of your problems etc. Love the attitude.

Mary

[Petra]

Hi TMC

I've had times where I felt people didn't give a crap! Deep down I knew this not to be true but was feeling so yuk I lacked what it took to help me move on from it. I chose meds (a gift from science) this time and to talk it out with my GP and then here on BB. My not reaching out was fear and because I didn't want to worry or burden my friends and family. My belief is that like me, you know there are people that do care and will take a genuine interest in you. I believe you have it in you to seek help because you have landed here in BB. It's a step you made because you want to improve your mental health. You know it's not right for you to feel and think the way you do. I'm taking another step forward and I'm going to see a psych. If it means I have to do this for the rest of my life....I will. We care for our bodies, but we also need to care for our mental health in the same manner. Once we accept this as normal practice we can achieve balance in our lives. True? Travel around this site as much as you can. Read others' experiences. There are too many of us feeling as you do and working on ways to feel better for you to ever feel deserted! It's not possible sweet! We're everywhere!

Pet 😊 xx

[Petra]

Hey Mary

Things still going well for you? Your ducks all lined up in a row at this time? I love it when that happens. I'm feeling a little similar myself.

Yes the GPS is a great invention. A thoughtful, and gratefully accepted gift by the sounds! I find them great too because paper maps and I aren't a match made in heaven! I much rather a voice telling me where to go!

Work is busy for me at this time but not stressful so I think exhaustion has helped me sleep to the alarm as opposed to waking hours before it! I prefer this!

Today is glorious Saturday. I'm enjoying the quiet, in my dressing gown and slippers, eating breakfast, the crackle of the fire and catching up with BB. It's easy to be left behind here! So mant great posts, magic advice and thoughts to ponder.

Your favourite occurred last night! It rained overnight! If if it rains today I'll just have to improvise. I'm planning to get outside this weekend. By week's end I suffer a wee bit of cabin fever from being inside at work. I need to hug a tree!

Thoughts of you. Hope you're enjoying yourself as I am.

xx

Pet 😊

[White_Rose]

Pet, it didn't rain here so I feel a bit cheated. Now I will have to water the garden.

Ducks have slipped out of line a little, such disobedient critters. I think I have been eating too much sugar which I have finally realised makes me cranky, is counter-productive for weight loss and tends to trigger my depression a bit. I have also had a busy week and feel tired. I've committed myself to various activities and I want to do these things but I wonder if I have taken on too much. Or maybe the body needs more exercise to get toned up and able to manage the stress.

Today (Sat) I went to a meditation day event. I really enjoy these with the opportunity to meditate with others, meet up with people, and listen to a great speakers. Today's guest is an Anglican priest, female, part of the green movement and a great speaker. I did enjoy the day but came home very tired. It may also be the residual effect of the day long workshop I attended on Wednesday.

I had a bit of an incident on Friday morning, which made me laugh afterwards but thoroughly embarrassed me at the time. I have a habit of not getting dressed as soon as I get up. Wander round in night clothes, eat breakfast, write on BB etc. On Friday I was just telling myself to get dressed because I had a physio appointment at 9:00 when there was a knock on the door. Clad in my dressing gown I opened the door to see a young man who announced he had come to fix my computer. So my thoughts went like this. I didn't make an appointment about the computer, yes you did, but I'm not dressed, serves you right, I can't have a shower with a strange man in the house, and if you don't you will be late for the physio, but I will be anyway because it's 8:00 already, wait a minute I made the appointment for 2:00pm.

So I said the appointment was for 2:00 but he disagreed, then looked at his worksheet, apologised and said he would be back at 2:00. Sigh of relief then sudden realisation that I had put a load of clothes into the washing earlier and among them was the nightdress I had been wearing. So I was covered, a loose term, with an ageing dressing gown and my dignity. Note to self, get dressed as soon as you get up in the morning to avoid further scenes of this nature.

No sitting by the fire for me. Far too hot. Brisbane has hottest temps for a long time. Contemplating putting the air con on.

Glad you are getting proper sleep. Hope your Saturday was glorious all day.

Mary

[Petra]

Hi Mary

Had a great Saturday thanks.

I had a chuckle at your dressing gown story! That'll teach ya!

I feels as though time goes incredibly fast when I'm on the computer (or my phone). I may get up early in the morning but I'm not a fast mover! Easily distracted!

The day in the garden went well. The weather was lovely. The gander gave me a belting with his wing though. He's frisky at the moment as we're coming up to that time of the year. I was nowhere near him or his girls, but as I looked up, there he was. The little beep caught me a beauty on the inside of my lower leg before I knew it. Apparently geese have something hard in their wings which, if they hit their opponent hard enough and in the wrong spot, they can break bones! I only have a nasty, sore bruise luckily! I did scream though, and loudly! I'm not at all happy with him. He pecked our dog on the butt too, the yelping echoing across the valley. We're a noisy lot here! Not shy to express how we're feeling!! Hee, Hee!

Pet 😊 xx

[Petra]

Hello All

I did it! I kept to my psych appointment. Went yesterday for the first visit and pleased to announce she passed the Pet-interrogation! She had me at "I like your bag!" All jokes aside folks (hee, hee), the psych ticked all the boxes for me and I felt like I was having a catchup with an old friend by the end. I've even booked the next four visits! We sat on lounge chairs opposite one another, in a warm and reasonably sized room. I know I sound surprised but decades ago when I visited the cringing-psych I sat quivering on the other side of an oversized desk, in a large cold room.

Thanks to all for your encouragement.

Pet 😻

[White_Rose]

Dear Petra

Many, many congratulations, you done good. I am so proud of you attending the appointment and recognising all the psych's good qualities. See, they don't all bite (or cringe). You have made my morning. I feel I ought to dash off a poem, In Praise of Petra. That has a nice ring to it I think. Pity I can't actually write poetry.

The best psychs of any persuasion are those who put you at ease immediately. I went to a psychiatrist many years ago. From the start he made me nervous. He was half an hour late for the appointment which irritated me from the start and he was never on time. He stood in the end of the office watching me while he drank his coffee before introducing himself and calling me by the wrong name. In retrospect I should have walked out then.

How is your leg? I trust it is healing well. We always kept chickens, occasionally turkeys and ducks when I was with my ex. We had five acres of land including a dam. One male turkey we had was a cranky soul. He chased me round the garden while my ex stood and laughed. Then one the turkey made the fatal mistake of jumping on the ex's back as he bent down. Ex put his together in a fist and turned belting the turkey across the head. The poor turkey went flying, flopped on the group muttering choked clucks. Ex looked at him and put us all out of his misery. Sounds a bit cruel but clearly the turkey had suffered a major damage. And he was too tough to eat.

My youngest son used to have a turkey chick that perched on his shoulder and went everywhere with him. Occasionally my son would grab the chick and hold it out in front of him, chick would then defecate and be returned to son's shoulder. My son would never tell us how he knew the chick was ready to perform.

We also kept cows and I learned how to milk. The cows went anywhere they wanted but learned quickly to leave the children alone. One cow decided she had right of way and nudged my son out of the. Husband yelled at the cow, as though she understand, slapped her rear end and picked up our son. I did laugh because son was not injured in any way and I don't think the cow intended injury. She just wanted to get past and point out which one of them was boss.

Whoops I used almost all my allowance telling stories. Petra I really am so pleased for you. Did you find your chat helpful or still getting to know you stage? I saw my psych yesterday and she was telling me her first impressions of me. Not nice (me not the psych). I've reformed.

Mary