Turning negatives into positives

[MarkJT]

I have always tried to turn a negative into a positive. Negatives are never nice to go through so i think it is really important that you get something out of it, for me that is anything that is positive.

Say for instance, i was hospitalised in Feb 2013 with PTSD, depression and anxiety. Whilst sitting in hospital with my life in tatters, I made a promise to myself that I am going to use my experience which at the time, was completely crap to help others. At that stage I didn't know how i was going to achieve this but in any event, it was something i promised.

I have since worked out how to do that and being part of this forum is one of them. I really enjoy help guide people who are at the start or in the middle of their journeys.

So i am just wondering, how do other people turn the negatives into positives?

When do you try and do this? i.e. at the start of the negative? In the middle? at the end?

I wonder if some people just cannot do that? I guess there would be.

Keen to hear your thoughts.

Cheers

Mark.

[gld]

Hello Everyone,

Just read this this morning over a cuppa and i feel it could help us on this subject.

http://bit.ly/2mkrx2N

Have an awesome day with new experiences.

Gen

[blondguy]

Hey Mark

If a person is struggling with mental illness they can make their life more positive by discarding negative or overly critical people.

This can be difficult but even changing from a toxic work environment to a more positive one can enhance the positives thus the healing process.

Paul

[Starwolf]

Thank you Mark for starting this inspiring thread.

Being able to see the seed of light that exists within the darkest situation is a gift. It often takes a fair bit of hindsight...

I feel blessed and relieved that my disastrous past has gradually been recycled along more positive lines. For example, my childhood was all about helplessness and utter isolation. There was nowhere, no one to turn to. No wonder it turned me into a social misfit and outcast.

BUT it also taught me that some measure of self-sufficiency is a terrific asset. I have tried many things I wouldn't have if I had been able to delegate tasks. Whatever I became successful at gave me much needed self-esteem and confidence. Those I failed at taught me that it was possible to do without countless things that most people find necessary. Being able to live a simple life simplifies it. Then it is possible to focus on and hone survival skills. I became resourceful out of necessity. Having no one to lean on or blame forced me to dig deep within myself to find unsuspected inner resources.

AND having to rely on/put up with my own company has been a ruthless motivation to eliminate/change a lot of crap within me I could no longer bear to live with. There was a time when looking in a mirror without smashing it was difficult. These days, I can smile at my reflection and even say a few kind words to it. Yes, talking to oneself (aloud or silently) comes with the lonesome territory but it has also helped me turn dissociation into reintegration. Only discussion could have those split, obnoxious facets learn to work together instead of being at war with each other.

A peaceful day to all.

[MarkJT]

Paul, you are absolutely spot on with the work situation. It is really difficult to flip around a negative into a positive but i think the important thing is to just gain a small positive for starters. Yes there will be some negativity there, but if one thing, just one thing only comes out of it as a positive, then happy days....well sort of!

I like how you have mentioned overly critical people. I think for a lot of the times, those people have their own difficulties going on but instead of helping, they become critical. Don't know why though as if they just got a little taste of the support out there, they could come good.

Mark.

[MarkJT]

Starwolf, brilliant post. You could so well have easily curled up into a ball and forgot about life but you did the opposite, despite so much going against you, you still bat up each and every day.

Perhaps the most important you have learnt to do is look into your mirror and smile. That is one exceedingly difficult thing to do when at one stage you did not like doing that.

Well done - such a great story!!

Mark.

[Starwolf]

Thank you Mark.

Starting the journey towards healing PTSD with a promise to yourself was a brave and wise move. You established a strong foundation on which to build up and you did it without having a clue how it could be done. I admire your self-confidence.

Success always begins with resolve, doesn't it ? For those of us who have been used, abused and thrown away, there is unfortunately not much of a sense of self left. But even un-glamorous defiance and anger can be used (I'm not going to let those so and so win this !). What better proof that there IS a seed of light within darkness ?

The task ahead is daunting but persistent chipping will gradually wear down the biggest monolith. After some time, momentum sets in and hard work become easier.

[MarkJT]

Starwolf, yes losing your own sense of self worth, in fact losing your self worth is the worst feeling i have ever had. I had this feeling in my chest that i cannot explain just how bad it was and i equate to the loss of my self worth.

One thing I did to start getting it back was to get out old photos of my travels and all the good times I had. This would remind me that i was capable of being happy even though i was far from it.

The momentum you talk about it absolutely spot on. I reached a point where i got over a hump and my recovery accelerated. Such an awesome feeling. Still have bad days (like today) but the bad days these days used to be my best days so i can handle them.

Keep chipping away, that is the way to go.

Mark.

[Steph2017]

I get anxious about my health esp mental health as im about to have a new baby (got postpartum psychosis last time). And the nurse said having a toddler too could complicate things. And my parents make it hard because of their mental health.

I am thankful that ive been healthy most of my life, that ive been drugfree in pregnancy so far, theres a 50% chance of it not happening again (that was the chance last time) but even less chance, i think almost zero, as i will be on medicine that works straight away to prevent anything from happening, i have rest time before baby (first came the day i finished work), the hospital wont let me have a 30+ hour labour again, i will be practicing mindfulness, i have a much more supportive community network now-friends and neighbours, i have a good gp and hospital, i have access to a car this time, i am competent with toddlers having worked with them all my life, the weather will be better to be able to walk outside, i have youtube internet to exercise if the weather is bad, i am closer to the hospital to get to appointments, husband has holiday leave, husband is more acclimatised to australian culture, husband knows now that i need sleep, and im not a first time mum now.

[Ailie]

Hi Mark

I would say at the end. For me personally I just kind of accept that negatives are a part of life, and we can't truly appreciate the positives around us if we don't occasionally experience negatives. They also generally pass, which is my main thought, "this sucks, but it too shall pass" kind of thing.

[CMF]

I have a really simple negative to positive.

If i didn't have anxiety/depression i would not have met all the beautiful people here at BB. For this I am grateful.