Turning negatives into positives

[MarkJT]

I have always tried to turn a negative into a positive. Negatives are never nice to go through so i think it is really important that you get something out of it, for me that is anything that is positive.

Say for instance, i was hospitalised in Feb 2013 with PTSD, depression and anxiety. Whilst sitting in hospital with my life in tatters, I made a promise to myself that I am going to use my experience which at the time, was completely crap to help others. At that stage I didn't know how i was going to achieve this but in any event, it was something i promised.

I have since worked out how to do that and being part of this forum is one of them. I really enjoy help guide people who are at the start or in the middle of their journeys.

So i am just wondering, how do other people turn the negatives into positives?

When do you try and do this? i.e. at the start of the negative? In the middle? at the end?

I wonder if some people just cannot do that? I guess there would be.

Keen to hear your thoughts.

Cheers

Mark.

[MarkJT]

Steph, that is so good to read that you have all these things in place for when your 2nd arrives. Forward planning is such a critical thing is so many aspects of life and especially so for one of, if not the most important thing a woman can go through, child birth.

Wishing you all the luck in the world and hopefully all of your planning plays out really well.

Mark.

[MarkJT]

Ailie, love your post and I also run on those principles. Knowing that things will pass and actually believing it makes getting through the bad days a whole lot easier.

Thanks for posting and welcome to the forums!

Mark.

[MarkJT]

Baby_Steps, yes a simple post but simply, a brilliant post.

Mark.

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Mark, what a really cool thread you have going on here. For me, I find having some kind of structure and schedule in my day really helps me. If I'm feeling anxious/depressed, the next day I try to plan my day as best as I can and stick to it (get up at a certain time, make the bed, have a shower, eat breakfast etc). I try to do one nice thing for myself and one nice thing for others. I find if there is a situation or feeling that makes me feel upset I do try and alter my thinking and find at least some positives. Sometimes I ask myself "Is this thought feeling/true? Can I be absolutely sure it's true?" I ask myself what I would say to a friend if they had experienced or felt what I was feeling. In regards to my thinking patterns, I try to change my thoughts around and find three or more examples of how the changed thought is as true or truer than the original thought. I find all these things really, really help me see the slight positive in a situation.

[kanga_brumby]

Being where I am has given me a new perspective. I have seen a lot of negativity around me. It's been a hard struggle to stay positive, Plus try to uplift others. But nay Sayers can go take a long walk, far away from me. The further the better if I can make someone smile on my worst day, it makes me feel better. Better about life, my situation, where I am at just me. Smiles are contagious, they cost nothing but keep on giving. So this is a smile drive Give generously give till it hurts then one more for your best friend who ever that is.

Kanga

[CMF]

Sending a smile right back at you Kanga.

cmf x

[blondguy]

Hi Mark

There is a long term poster here who really makes a difference.....JessF....I will quote what she said to a TonyWK post a couple of days ago.

"JessF Said: "No, I don't think it's a good idea to be positive all the time,sometimes
there are good reasons to be negative. If you're facing a decision
that affects your life and health, finances, career... big decisions,
then a conservative outlook can be prudent. But if you're being held
back in life, or prone to think in terms of "always" and "never" then
it's time to start pulling those bricks out of the wall"

Thats one hell of a intellectual & wise post.

Just sharing some serious wisdom combined with a dose of reality 🙂

Paul

[MarkJT]

Jessica, love your post - so many great laid plans you have to ensure you get through bad days as best you can. Sometimes these plans work and sometimes they don't but you always have to have some kind of plan.

Perhaps my favorite part is the last bit where you say, "...really help me see the slight positive in a situation...". I love the word slight, I mean it would be awesome if you could get a huge positive out of the situation but for you to say "slight", that it what it is. Any positive is better than a negative.

Mark.

[Becstar]

Hi Mark.

I must say from experience that it can sometimes take a lot to turn things around from a negative to a positive, especially when you are experiencing a crisis or are in a really shitty situation! But, it can be done and there can always be a silver lining, I think its important to remember that its not always instant enlightenment or you may not even see any results in the immediate future. If you can muster the strength and resilience to get yourself out of the immediate crisis then that is the important first step. There is also something really special about someone who has been through difficult times and with personal experiences with Borderline Personality Disorder, anxiety and depression i think that you have a lot to offer other people and its so great that you are willing to share.

[MarkJT]

Becstar, you are so spot on with it. It an be so difficult at times but it can be done. Even when you are in crises, if you get yourself out of it, that is a huge positive. I was determined to do many things but one of the main ones when sitting in hospital with a PTSD diagnoses was to turn it around to a positive.

Thanks for posting and thanks for the words, appreciate it.

Mark.