Minimalism and creating a peaceful space

[Clues_Of_Blue]

My parents are both hopeless hoarders. When I first moved out of Mum's house many moons ago, I marvelled at how much space I had in my tiny little unit. It was a new experience and I loved it. Even so, with me not being inclined to take up the torch of the hoarder, I managed to accumulate a lot. Sentimental bits from my younger days, gifts, free stuff I thought I was just too poor to say no to - could need it later, and not be able to afford it, right? There were also bills and sensitive documents I just didn't know what to do with, and boy do they pile up over the years! And worst of all, relationships - when you live with someone, they bring in their own lifetime of clutter, oftentimes leaving a whole bunch of it behind when they leave. And again related to being poor, if any money came my way I wanted to treat myself. A book, or an article of clothing was often the go to. Guess who had a bunch of books she never read and clothes that didn't get worn.

When I parted ways with my most recent ex, he left an extraordinary tonne of junk behind. I made it my mission to get rid of it, and along with it anything of my own I didn't want any more. I had gifts I neither used or particularly liked, boxes of books I bought with the thought I should get them while I had money to read when I didn't (they moved - along with the sensitive documents - from house to house in boxes that never got opened), even clothes from when I was a teenager (those suckers never gonna fit again, and they sure aren't in style any more). In the course of trying to find more and better ways to pare down all this stuff sucking the life out of me, I discovered there were a whole heap of other people who thought like me and wanted what I wanted. Minimalists. There are articles and blogs and tonnes of inspiration out there, and they helped me immensely.

I've been on the journey for a bit over four years, and it took most of that time to get my home how I want it. But now I can easily find things I want to use and don't have to clean, organise or maintain half as much stuff. I don't feel compelled to buy things on a whim or to feel good, because I just don't need them - I'm actually repelled by the idea of having more objects around me. I now have much more time and space and peace. I thought that worth sharing. What a fantastic tool it's been for looking after my mental health!

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey EM,

You asked CMF about the coathanger trick. The idea is to turn all your hangers in the wardrobe in one direction. When you have worn an item, turn the hanger around. After your chosen amount of time - say three months - you'll see what clothes you just haven't worn, and can afford to give away. It's a great way of guaging what you actually need.

The "saved money" thermometer sounds pretty nifty, nice one. I like the "intrinsic rewards" concept, too. Teach them to do what they need to for it's own value. Haha, nope, doesn't work the same on one's animal companions. It's treats or it's nothing.

It's great that you have people in your life who can make use of the furniture you no longer need. Sorry to hear about your bro leaving stuff in your shed. Maybe ask him to move it and give him a timeframe?

I agree that systems are hugely important, with or without a big family. I don't just have a bin in the kitchen, I have a full waste station. General waste bin, general recycling, soft plastics (for stuff like bread bags and biscuit packets that can be returned to the supermarket's RedCycle bins, for those who don't know about it), compost bin, non-compostable food waste (if you have eco-friendly solutions for disposing of things like eggs, onion & citrus skins let me know) and documents to shred.

I have a hamper for washing or just chuck it straight into the machine. I don't own much white stuff, so mostly it all just goes in together (I've had surprisingly few things turn the wrong colour, haha). The washing pile and the cutlery drawer of your childhood sound maddening - that would drive me nuts!

Thanks for your ideas, EM.

Blue.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey Quirky,

Glad everyone was safe. Sorry to hear about your bookshop, though, especially the ones you couldn't replace. I'm quite the book lover, myself, though have also taken to asking the same questions you do. Books were among the hardest things to let go of, but I had plenty I hadn't read and wasn't likely to any time soon. Out they went.

Completely understand how you feel about losing the things that were made by loved ones. It is less the thing that is missed than the meaning behind it. It's not quite the same, but perhaps keeping digital pictures of stuff like that on a USB somewhere in future might be a way of preserving the essence of them.

You have a unique perspective on the importance or lack therof of stuff, and that gives you a great question "would I miss it if it were destroyed?". I might just tuck that question in my tool belt. Thank you.

Glad this thread is useful to you. 🙂

Blue.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey RT,

Yep, it's become a pretty busy thread. Understandable if it gets a bit much to keep replying to.

You're welcome - I have to remind myself I can do it, too. I have a whiteboard in my office, so I can jot down things to do and keep track of what I have already done. I find it really helps to have reminders of what I've achieved, especially when I've been inching my way along slowly. After a while I look at the board and think "Oh yeah, I've done that - and that, and that, and that". Little things really do accumulate.

I have some familiarity with The Minimalists and Konmari, though not in depth. I mainly follow Joshua Becker's site, Becoming Minimalist. Tonnes of great articles on there with little tips and tricks to get started, and inspiration to continue once you get going.

Candles are a great gift idea, they're popular, useful and lovely. Incense is another good thing, I love the stuff. There are all sorts of great things like that and also soaps and lotions and things often sold in local shops and markets.

I like the "future you" concept. For me, I ask if something fits my values - who I want to be, what image I want to convey with my clothes/accessories, and what I want to do. If not, wallet goes back in the pocket.

Thanks for your suggestions.

Blue.

[ecomama]

Hey Blue and all the Minimalists here (and wanna be ones too!)

There's a Netflix show on Minimalism atm and I watched it.
Really lovely philosophy.

I can see a real "relationship" element to all the talk on Minimalism and even how we "relate" to our stuff.

After spending most of the past 2 weeks moving 3 bedrooms around that have been more or less the same way for 10y, it's been a REAL eye opener to how each of us deal with our stuff.

I agree with Sleepy that parts of the KonMari method just aren't designed for ppl with MHIs.
Doing it "all at once" - it's quite crazy making if there's a LOT.

I like how she speaks of holding an item and asking if it sparks JOY.
If it's still in use like a juicer lol then JOY isn't the closest term but USE.

I decided to ONLY bring things into my new room under those 2 categories.
Even some of those things are now headed elsewhere lol!

Not having any real wardrobes in my new room is a problem, but a temporary one only I hope.

I need more of your direct approach Blue.

I have less than a week to get ALL my stuff out of my built ins and either headed elsewhere or into my new room.

My son is coming home on Sunday lol and atm his stuff is in the loungeroom waiting to be put in to his new room.

I'm enjoying being more brutal than I've ever been.
It's a much lighter feeling having less stuff.

Love EM

[Not_Batman]

Hello Blues.

late last year i got fed up with all of the papers and bits and pieces of all of these projects around my office. So much so that i went on a bit of a rampage and de cluttered the things that werent needed and let go of the things i was holding on to (you know the things that you tell yourself yo may need later on). Now i can see my desk again, and am paying no mind to the things that have gone.

Historically ive been a bit of a mess maker, not a hoarder so much, just laking some cleaning and organising skills. this year though im attempting to make a change, and keep all my areas clean.

i just feel so ashamed of the mess, and feel such accomplishment when something is clean.

im aiming to get the study, and the shed sorted before winter.

Not_Batman

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey EM,

I think there are a few on the topic now, which one are you referring to? I haven't actually watched through any of them - Netflix has things like Star Trek and a heap of anime, I get distracted, hehe.

Yes, there is absolutely an emotional element or "relationship" with our stuff. I know there have been some harrowing moments for you and your family in the course of moving rooms. I do think that letting go of possessions with a negative association has an incredibly cleansing result, though. I think oftentimes we pour our anger/resentment/hate/etc. for a person or situation into objects that in some way represent them, so the act of removing those things from our lives is so important.

I don't think it's only mental health struggles that make doing it all at once difficult. How many of us could manage it around normal life obligations? Not too many, I think.

Had to chuckle about your comment re the juicer. I haven't done the holding things and seeing what sparks joy, but I guess I have my own version. I look at each object and consider whether I will use it or gain anything positive from its presence. If not, out it goes. Sometimes even positive things go if they are not relevant to my current lifestyle. Memories can reside in my head. It's not unusual for me to look at something, go "Aw, I remember that... Bin!" Not the sentimental type, me.

Really pleased at your approach to your new room. How are you feeling in there with just the things you want in there, and nothing else?

Being without a wardrobe for now is a motivator to cut down. By the time you're done, you can get yourself a much smaller wardrobe than you may have thought you needed. That's a good thing.

Thanks. I'll motivate/inspire where I can. 🙂

Crumbs, that's a pretty short deadline. How are you going with it? Seems being brutal with it is working for you. The thing about stuff is if it isn't useful or enjoyable, it saps you of energy and time and resources. Having those back can only do you good.

Blue.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey Not_Batman,

Glad you could drop in. I hear you about the rampage, I've done that a few times. It's so easy for stuff to build up - like you I tend to have projects all over the place and bits left over from them, too. It can take a bit of focus to work out what things really will be useful later and what isn't likely to. Typically we don't much miss what we end up getting rid of, just like you said.

Honestly, I've been there too. I think the primary thing to help with that is making sure anything new that comes in (or even anything you're thinking of bringing in) has a place designated for it to go, so you know where to put it when you're not using it. I have found indecision the big mess making influence for me.

Totally relate to how you feel about mess and the accomplishment of getting it sorted. Dishes were always the problem for me, I hate dishes so much, and they would always pile up. I cut back to only four plates, four bowls, four spoons/forks/etc. and the problem is much easier to deal with. Want less mess, own less stuff. Works a treat for me.

Great goals, will be interested to hear how you go with them. 🙂

Blue.

[Emmen]

Hello Blue,

This is a great thread!

I've always thought myself a minimalist in terms of my aesthetics, but I'm one of those "messy desk" people. Not_Batman pretty much summed up my life there with that rampage. I seem to be doing that every few months!

I'm currently at a stage where I can see my desk again and it feels like a weight off my shoulders. I've started this thing where I try not to end the day with stuff strewn around my desk. I've surprisingly seen some success with this for the last 2 months, but we'll see if I can sustain this even longer.

I have a problem with dust, though. I like spaces to be clean and bright, but it frustrates me to no end that dust builds up on surfaces so fast! I'd clean the tables and floors one day and by the next day, I'd find specks of dust on it again! Then I'd lose all the joy I got cleaning those surfaces, which makes me wonder if it was even worth going on a cleaning rampage in the first place.

M

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey M,

Thanks, and nice to meet you. 🙂

I think anyone who uses their desk gets a bit of clutter to work through, I'm certainly no different. It counts I think, that we do something about it.

Two months is great. I find it's the little changes you keep at that rewire the neural pathways in the brain to form a new habit. It may be that you're entering the territory of tidying up becoming a thing you do without even thinking about it. It's like that for me, I automatically take any dishes or rubbish away from places they shouldn't be, go straight to the recycling bin with envelopes when I open mail, that sort of thing. I wasn't like that until I made the decision those things needed to be done as a matter of course for my mental well-being and pushed myself to do them every day. It's a no-brainer now.

Oh, I hate dust. Not just because it's messy, but because I have chronic hayfever - if I don't dust, I can't breathe properly, it's gotta go! Do you have one of those static dusters? They can be good for in between times, when there's just a little bit you want to get rid of. If it's a larger problem than that, sealing windows, using door sausages etc. to slow it down coming in from outside could help. We'll never stop a little of it being there, but we can circumvent the worst of it.

Blue.

[ecomama]

Oh you made me laugh BLUE!

"Awww... BIN!"

Invoking the BLUE here!!

Yeah I THRIVE on deadlines! Love that this one is for my baby boy to COME HOME! He is my MOST minimalist child by universes lol... but he's accumulated like we all have.
He won't want to go through his stuff but there it is lol...

I got all MINIMALIST in my front garden today... OH YEAH.
Buying a battery powered lawn mower and sawzall oh I think that's American for reciprocating saw lol. Hopefully TOMORROW... long time coming. Beats getting my beast back from my brother lol. Plus a TOOL box. My gardening things are in one. I need one for TOOLS otherwise they end up all over the property with the kids.

Blue I might just have a skin head garden soon lol!

I even threw out all the dog's cuddlies all but 2. How he got so many is beyond me, I CERTAINLY didn't get ANY for him! Oh my kids spoil this dog.

YES LOVING MY ROOM! OMG!!!
Got rid of the kid's TV out of it today YAY!

I'm just gonna SHOVE the rest of my clothes into garbage bags now to get them out of Yvette's room so her stuff can move out of p.son's room arghhhh.
My aim is to get through 1 bag per week of my stuff.

Might smash out more but am doing renos too... just got 2nd quote for louvre glass and hopefully that goes in soon.
Hiring gardener, probably tree lopper etc. Cutting back in Summer RESTRICTS growth which is a good thang in MY garden lol.

When the kids get home from work tonight I'm going to ask them to help me SHIFT this huge bed down into p.son's room. Then I can shove all his stuff under his bed lol!

I might have my loungeroom back SOON!

Pretty exciting, I'm doing lots of painting this year when it gets cooler.

I got some tips from Dools on the Craft Circle thread on how to rotate the art work inside.
Eldest d is an artist.

Love EM