Merry Christmas in 2020

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I did try and do a search for Christmas 2020 on the forum and kept getting a message stating something like "Page not found" every time I tried to click on the word Christmas. Maybe the Grinch is trying to steal Christmas yet again!

If there is another thread about Christmas, can someone pleas let me know.

Not everyone celebrates Christmas, I understand that. This year it may be especially difficult as well due to Covid and so many other issues people have in life.

This year will be our first without my Dad. As I was decorating the tree I was thinking of Dad and the Christmas celebrations we had as children. Way back then we were able to go out in the scrub and cut down a native Christmas tree.

This year I have to work Christmas Day so I won't be able to attend Church, nor a Christmas Eve service as family are coming for dinner. I am very thankful that at present we are still able to plan for some of the family to be together. I have no idea how busy I will be Christmas Day at work. Hopefully people will be relaxed and happy!

Christmas can mean different things to everyone. It may mean nothing and that is okay too. If you'd like to share thoughts here about Christmas, the end of this year or any other celebration you have happening soon, please do so.

Today I am trying to boil a Christmas pudding! I have to ensure the saucepan has water for 3 hours! In the past I have neglected this step and ended up cooking the saucepan when it ran out of water and the pudding was a rock!

Wishing you all a great day no matter how you are spending it.

Peace to all, cheers from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Emo,

I'm sorry I don't know or recall your back ground, you may have shared elsewhere about your Dad. I did have a quick look for other posts, I am about to leave for work so will check back here later.

My Dad died in September of this year. Christmas was strange without him.

If you don't mind me asking, are you still in hospital? I really do hope you have somewhere safe to go when you are discharged or have supports in place to help you.

I was in an abusive relationship and ran away. I know a little of what DV is like. When I read your post I was heart broken for you. Everyone deserves to be treated with care and respect. If there is no love, relationships can still happen, DV should not be accepted. I also know it is not easy to leave a relationship.

Sometimes I hug my pillow and that is enough. I curl myself around it, feel insecure and safe at the same time, alone yet strangely comforted.

Emo, I am not sure how long this thread will continue seeing as it is titled Christmas. Do you have a thread yourself I can use to continue to chat with you or would you feel comfortable starting one? We can still continue to chat and support you here if that is easier for you.

I realise even though Christmas day has come and gone, a lot of people are going to have memories of a sad and lonely day for a long time to come. People may want to continue to share here.

Sending you more virtual hugs Emo, hoping if you are still in hospital you have supportive people there, maybe a social worker to chat with or even a Church visitor even if you are not a religious person. Having someone sit and listen can be a comfort.

Hugs to all the hurting souls. Kindest regards from Dools

[Moonstruck]

Hello PhoebeWings

how nice to hear from you and thanks for "getting me". I know I must have ruffled a few festive feathers, but hey, this is one place we can air our own feelings isn't it? I can never know the depth of pain and loss you experienced just before that Xmas long ago when your baby was adopted. It's a blessing you found him and that he has a happy life.

I actually feel much better, more loving and calmer these past two days than I did on the 25th....because there's no pressure! No TV presenters INSISTING I have a happy Xmas "with loved ones" Oh God when will someone tell them to stop please! enough already!

I've given (and actually "felt like" giving which is the best kind) loving messages and appreciation these past 2 days than at any time in the ghastly lead-up to "the big day".....

as I stated in a much earlier post, I do understand of course, and accept entirely the importance of Christmas to devoted Christians and the significance of that day ...I respect their beliefs and would never deny them that comfort and joy it brings to them.

however I am still waiting for someone not so immersed in the nativity story, to explain to me just "why?" so many go over the top with the "celebration" thing just because the calendar says a certain number? No one has told me "why" yet?

We have ALL YEAR to show and express our love to our friends and family (if we are lucky enough to have them)... just explain to me what it is exactly that you have to "celebrate" on December 25 and the urgency that it has to be crammed into those 24 hours?

You could also explain to me the overwhelming significance of a leg of ham and a pile of prawns! Do they taste better on that day or what? If we got some today wouldn't we enjoy them as much? just askin'

Could it be.....(no surely not???) that it is perhaps because "everyone else is doing it"?

You're a beautiful person PhoebeWings.....trust me, I can tell. Love Moon S

[Emo]

Hi Dools,

Thank you for your wonderful post. I will reply in more detail later I promise. I'm just not very well right now.

I do have a thread if you would like to take a look at it.

Here is the link: Will I ever recover from my dads sudden death *Trigger Warning Domestic Violence*

Please don't feel like you need to as I know there are other people who deserve your help more than me.

I might be best to reply to your post on my thread as this thread is only about Christmas.

It might be a while until I can reply. I'm so sorry but I will eventually get back to all of the kind community members who have reached out to me. I'm trying.

Regards,

Emo.

[PhoebeWings]

Hi Moonstruck,

I really chuckle, you certainly lift the lid on the Xmas madness thing....all so true, so true.

You know, I’ve spent many festive seasons with various friends and in-laws - some who have departed from our lives, due to death, divorce and change of dynamics in their own lives.
Even when we sat in the middle of other peoples’ Xmas family nest, on some vibrating level, I inwardly felt like I was pressing my nose up against the shop window, aching to have a non- negotiable place at my own family table....which sounds ungrateful, as we’ve always found that someone somewhere wanted us ‘around’.
In the lead up to Xmas and over the past 48 hours or more, I’ve chatted IRL and online with friends, listening to their Xmas plans and stories, heaped kisses and heart emotions on their shared family pics.....I’m effing exhausted!!!

😆😂

But like you, today I’m starting to feel the slow release and looking forward to life getting back to some normality.

To not being reminded how ‘family is everything’... when I lost my own child and every wonderful memory that could have been made with him, as his mother.

I like your humour and insight 👍

Keep smiling friend and thank you for your kind words.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Dools, I'm sorry you had not the best Christmas, aswell as others here. I wish more people would be more understanding that it's not a good time for everybody.

[Tangney]

Hello Golden82 and Moonstruck. Well, I had a break from BB for a little while as I was starting to get pretty upset at times. Not that having a break worked very well. I still got pretty upset at times. I understand what you are both saying about Xmas. I spent most of the day by myself. I, too, watched Call The Midwife, Moon. I'm really over everyone thinking that 2021 will be any better, as if a stroke of the clock will suddenly change all the madness in the world that impacts us. Forty eight hours in and nothing is any different, and maybe even a bit worse depending on your circumstances. I can't stand new year anymore than I can stand Xmas. It's the same scene where everyone is seemingly out enjoying themselves (maybe not so much this year) while others sit and ponder the realities of life. These sorts of events make things worse for me every year. I hope you are both hanging in there. Best wishes to you both.

[golden82]

Hey Tangney 🙂

Welcome back! Great to see your name pop up. Made my day just now :). I've been thinking of you in Sydney and had thought about posting on your thread to see how you are going? But hadn't seen you on here. How are you? Are you affected more by any restrictions? I remember previously your bootcamp was shutdown. What about now? I haven't been following the news at all. Not even the Sky News I was watching online mid year. Too depressing and I have got worse MH wise. In bed almost all the time with the world too much for me to take. Not any support on the MH front - GP got me a psych (for my pre-existing trauma) who can only see me every few months because 'Covid has meant that more ppl need support and we have to be fair to all'. So I have seen the psych once - in Oct and not again til later this month. It is a joke. All this Covid situation has affected everyone's MH so much more than the disease itself. And for those of us already with trauma/MH...we don't get anywhere near what could be deemed support. You, Moon and I etc called it from the very beginning. I hope you are alright and so glad you posted 🙂

[Tangney]

Hi Golden. Thank you for saying I made your day. I'm sorry that you are suffering. The lack of support for MH is outrageous and a national disgrace. To be only able to see a psych once since October demonstrates why so many people don't try or simply give up trying to get professional help. The truth is that individual personal treatment is almost non-existent, especially for those lacking resources. Prof Ian Hickie repeatedly raises this and tries to correct the media mantra that "help is out there". He often says that it's not easy for many people to get appropriate mental health support. I have great respect for him. Without people like them, the situation would be even worse. Regarding Covid, yes, unfortunately we have more restrictions. We are only allowed 5 in a residence now, not that this affects me personally as I can't remember the last time I had any visitors, but I still think it's ridiculous. The main problem I have at the moment is the mask wearing edict. The media finally got their way by pushing and pushing on this. I can't wear a mask, but apparently, it's ok for businesses to refuse entry to anyone not wearing a mask. I have already been refused entry to local shops, even though I have an exemption. This time around, I think I've given up, as I've now reached acceptance of my outcast status. I suppose this is what all the scaremongers wanted. We saw this coming, didn't we, right from the very beginning. The reaction is worse than the illness and has adversely affected so many more people than the actual Covid infection. It saddens me that most in the community just go along with it all, without any thought or consideration about how some of this impacts those less fortunate. People not wearing masks are being shamed and ridiculed, regardless of whether they have reasonable excuses. This is Australia now. Very sad.

[Tangney]

Also, Golden, my boot camp was never revived. Unfortunately, the group that was delivering it lost their funding. They now have an on line offering, which is nowhere near as good and defeats my purpose, which was getting out of the house to mix with others.

[Doolhof]

Hi Tangney, golden, PhoebeWings, mb20lover and all reading,

Thanks for all your sharing. I agree a little about New Years. It is somewhat ridiculous thinking that the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve is going to miraculously change the world into a much better place.

I am trying to think of ways I can make improvements and enhance my life starting with each day in January and can hopefully continue on along those lines for the year. Work our strategies and plans that will be fulfilling and help me along the way.

Tangney, if you don't mind me asking, why are you unable to wear a mask? Do you have asthma, respiratory issues or some other reason? Please know I am asking out of a sense of wanting to understand how I may be able to assist people wanting to enter my work place who have their own issues with masks.

Do any of you have any plans on how you can get through this year?

I certainly understand the issue regarding the lack of mental health assistance. That has been a struggle of mine in our region for a couple of years now. I am finally receiving assistance at quite a cost even with a mental health care plan in place!

Cheers to you all from Dools