Managing Borderline Personality Disorder

[AGrace]

Hi,

I was looking through some of the posts and couldnt find any related to Borderline Personality Disorder. 

I was diagnosed at the end of the year along with Anxiety and Depression. I was hoping to reach out to anyone in a similar situation to get some advice on how to deal with living with this condition.  I left my employment last year so I could focus on my health which has been useful but now I feel anxious about ever being able to go back to work full time, having children, and doing day to day things whilst managing my illness. To add to this, not doing those things leaves me feeling a little useless. 

Does anyone have some advice, or personal experience with this?

Thanks. 

[Jo3]

Hi AGrace

I have BPD.  I was diagnosed 4 yrs ago, also suffering depression, anxiety as as result of being sexually abused as a child over 30 yrs ago.

 I am now 48, married 28 yrs with three children (22,21,18). I work part time, changed my career 2 yrs ago and cutting back my hours as I couldn't handle working full time.

I have been seeing a psychologist for the past four years and recently admitted to hospital for a break and change of meds.  I also see a psychiatrist once a month.

I was quite shocked to know that I am suffering BPD, but am glad in a way because now I can have treatment, doing dialetical behaviour therapy (DBT) fortnightly with my psych.

 I also attend a BPD support group in Melbourne which have monthly meetings. If you live in Melbourne, I can give you the details of next meeting.  This has been a great support because I know that I am not the only one suffering BPD.  There are others in this group and we are all supportive of each other.

 Are you seeing someone eg. pysch or having therapy/treatment.

Looking forward to chatting with you again

Jo

[AGrace]

Hi Jo3,

Thanks for your reply. It was refreshing to hear that as a BPD survivor you're working and raising a family.

I see a Psychiatrists and Psychologist weekly and attend group therapies through the hospital im usually admitted into. I will start DBT group in September. How are you finding this form of therapy?

I would love the details of the Melbourne BPD support group!

I think one of my biggest fears about having children is the potential need of stopping medications. Not sure if anyone else has been through this experience???

All advice gratefully received. 

AGrace

[Jo3]

Hi AGrace,

I am finding the DBT therapy okay.  Mind you it is taking a long time for it to sink in as my concentration level is not that great.  But I am starting to use the tools that I have learnt from the DBT therapy.  I still have a long way to go, only just covered 2 chapters of the book.  

The Melbourne support group for BPD is - borderlinesuport.com.au  

If you google that it will take you to the website and there is lots of information and the dates for the next monthly meeting.  Meet last Monday of each month at 6pm at the CAE Building in Flinders Lane, Melbourne.  Sometimes there are only a few that come but it is a very worthwhile and informative and support group.  If you decide to come you need to register first - you can do that on that website. 

Wishing you all the best,

Take care

Jo

[white knight]

Hi Agrace and Jo,

I am extremely happy with both of you ladies.

My mother I suspected has BPD and I no longer see her. She never sought help and the effects of her condition on us kids was devastating.  Yet both of you are seeking a support group and medical assistance. Good on you.

Here you are Jo, with all of your issues lately, helping another sufferer. So proud of you.

[Jo3]

Thanks WK,

Thanks for your continued support.

AGrace - I am happy to chat again with you anytime.  There are also some good books to read on BPD.  One is called The Buddha and the Borderline; and Get me out of Here by Rachel Reiland.  Both books are good reading.

Take care AGrace

Jo

[AGrace]

Hi Jo3

Thanks. I read The Buddha and The Borderline - agreed, avery good read but I haven't read the other,  so I will. Im going to try to attend the BPD support group at the end of the month.

AGrace

[Jo3]

Hi AGrace

that will be good if you go to the support group meeting. 

Take care,

Jo

[Hayley]

Hi AGrace,

I am so excited to hear that you are due to start DBT in September! 

I myself have BPD, Depression and Anxiety and I am currently in DBT (Dialectal Behavioural Therapy). 

I am based in WA and for me this includes attending a weekly DBT Group through my local hospital as well as weekly appointments with a Clinical Psychologist who has training in DBT. Phone Coaching is also available through my Clinical Psychologist.

For me this therapy has given me life skills that i practice and use everyday. It;s given me a choice to be able to live my life differently. 

Most likely you will cover the four core groups of Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation and Distress Tolerance. Mindfulness practice is the basis for which all core groups run. 

I am really excited for you please let me know how you get on. Be prepared you get homework, well we did in the form of Diary Cards lol but its all part of the therapy.

I too left my full-time employment to focus on my health. This group will require commitment and time and I found having the time and energy to focus on this right now is important for me and more than enough for what I can handle right now.

Take things day by day, focus on the group coming up as I have found everything else like employment etc I will deal with in time.

Take care & Good luck 

[Straight_amp_Alert]

white knight said:

My mother I suspected has BPD and I no longer see her. She never sought help and the effects of her condition on us kids was devastating.  Yet both of you are seeking a support group and medical assistance. Good on you.

I hear this.It was my father not mother though.It did totally ruin my life sadly.This all came out 5-6 years ago and the clincher to it is I finally (after being alone forever) connected with a girl who a few months after meeting told me she had BPD.It did make a few things she said & did make a bit more sense.

I'm torn between staying & going.

Staying because I don't care what she has I love her anyway. ... but I love her so much that if leaving her was the best thing I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Going because I don't know if I can live with this again.As potentially selfish as that sounds 

She knows a bit of my backstory but I don't know how much she fully grasps of it.We rarely talk although I think we should I feel I'm more in a role of a kind of 'safe place' where she isn't required to think or anything.I'm really not sure if I'm doing the right thing sometimes?

It's good to see Jo you managed a long lasting relationship but I do wonder if you think it'd been different if you were diagnosed when you were 20 instead? Like would you,or anyone else,even contemplate a relationship with someone knowing this? Not immediately or at the sake of your own treatment ect of course.

I'm about to turn 40 and this is the closest I've ever been to having any sort of relationship with another human being ever so it's a little bit important 🙂 

Apologies if this reads like a "Dear Abbey' letter I'm looking for advice/guidance (beyond the usual be supportive ect) on how to deal with this. as my own anxiety is somewhat running rampant over worrying I'll completely mess it up like I did with my father by not knowing or understanding anything.