Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[geoff]

Hello RX, I completely agree, my reset took 5 hours, then I had to download all the programs I normally visit each day, such as Herald Sun etc, not too bad but what has it achieved, nothing, a waste of time.

These young IT experts at Microsoft have fun confusing all of us, unless you're an expert yourself, with trying to 'improve' the website.

You make an inquiry on the net and a million people say do this or do that, where you still don't know what's best, and it's impossible to chat online, because all they say 'due to the COVID we are limited', I do understand this because it's an infectious disease nobody would ever want, but bring back the chat line.

These internet companies increase the price without any trouble, but they don't provide the help we need, unless you go to the app on your mobile phone, and as an elderly chap, that's ridiculous.

The kitchen sink is now full, will I or won't I, probably won't but feel like it.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Guest_1584]

Gday Geoff and yeah , same. But you managed a reset , crikey nice going mate , l've done phones to sell off but l didn't even know computers did it. But yeah people creating all this stuff think it's all just fun and "learning" as they call it, ha, like we have nothing else to do. But the hidden trackers and ways of forcing our info, you know, gees it is just sooo bad on this latest. l'm just so over it. Just wish something stayed the same now . Update update, Jezuz. l've been told with the latest pc's , you should even tape over and block the camera and l heard horror stories about the latest tv's people have no idea what's hidden in the things and what they're gathering on you.

Thing is , it's right through life now, gov collecting info, the fb's , our bills , forums instead of real life, even bloody date sites apparently no one meets naturally anymore, no way out of bloody robots and tapping in personal info 4 or 5 times to even get a human,20min, an hr waits it's just everywhere. Yaknow, people go out to tea and gawk at their ph, or fb, worlds gone just mad.

l just find so much mental energy is wasted on it all or defending our privacies or simple inquiries like you said, so much, tapping on computers , phones, text, sifting mind boggling garbage to find something, our minds tied into knots, it's everywhere. No human, interactions, normality , it's all stolen, forced.

My gf complains of brain fog all the time she has to deal with so much on line stuff right now, Even my daughter notices it all these days yet kids use to love it, grew up on it.

l just see it all in mental health, the world, seeing ourselves, what we're told all over the googles and ytubes, forced info overload , what kids go through even just on the likes of fb now , is just insanity.

Sorry to depress anyone who reads this, l just hate what we've become, becoming, crave lifes simplicity again, a wind back of 20 or 30yrs and l'd say a lot of us wouldn't even have any of this. rx

[Jack2021]

Hiya Paul,

Thanks so much, so great to be here, I really appreciate it 😊😊
Damn...sounds like an issue the both of us and many others have in common I guess 😱😱

Thanks again, I appreciate it sooo much 😊

So sorry if this message is a tad short haha...stressing out a bit over a few issues that have come up today, but issues coming up everyday, so really it's nothing new ... Just wish this "life thing" was a bit easier to be honest....money, bills, finding a place to live, etc, etc it all gets too much sometimes....

[blondguy]

Hey Jack2021

thankyou for the complimentary post :-)....and taking the time to understand why I wrote this thread topic too! I really hope you can stick around here (and the forums) as there are many people that feel exactly like you and I do..yet dont possess your ability to speak from the heart as well as you do

you are a breath of fresh air Jack2021....Nice1 🙂

Paul

[ecomama]

Hey Jack2021 (sorry Blondguy Paul for being so remiss ugh)

Welcome to this perky thread!

I really hope you get some helpful suggestions, as you have already I see, from all the wonderful members here. Seems like you're trying to manage quite a few things atm.

Indeed life can be tough. Hope some things get sorted for you sooner rather than later.
Perseverance and resilience cannot be underestimated in our tough times.

In reference to the thread topic (oops) yes I like myself.
Quite a few "wheels fell off the wagon" in the past 2 weeks! Unexpected surgery & recovery, 2 car incidents aka accident and a near miss, oh and lots of other stuff ie disappointments, conflict blah blah blah lol.

I'm pretty excited tbh at the way I've handled it all.
NO PTSD TRIGGERS yay! Not that I know of anyway lol.
So I didn't fall off the wagon - just the wheels lol.

I'm liking myself more because I've put the hard work in and I'm feeling the results.
Still more efforts required maintaining mental health but it's a freeing feeling even with that ongoing.

I hope everyone is well today.

Love EM

[Jack2021]

Hiya Paul 😊

Thank you for the complimentary post as well 😊 ooooh yeah for sure, been a while and forgot what page I got to reading, but read quite a bit of this whole thread right from the start / from your first post back in 2016!
Hoe do you think you have grown since then? 😊
You've definitely been through this for a heck of a lot longer than I have...
pretty much everyone here has...after talking to my counsellor I think I've realised ive had mild spells of anxiety and depression throughout my life and growing up as a teenager in the late 2000s, but from 2020, covid eliminated a lot of the coping mechanisms I had in place over the years (ones I never even knew I had!)
Things like going to gardens, travelling interstate, going to museums, etc, etc, it was all gone for quite a while, and come mid/late 2020, the scales had been tipped too far out of balance and I began suffering from very real depression and anxiety, becoming quite severe and debilitating from about Xmas of 2020 and onwards, so severe I ended up resigning from the casual job I had going on at the time, and pretty much spending a month off work, just to get back on an even keel.....

But anyway enough rambling now haha...ohhh yes I would absolutely love to stick around here and on the forums, thank you so much for that and your understanding 😊
but yeah these forums helped me so much actually, especially when I was going through very severe intense depression - the day I resigned from my job was the same day I joined here as I finally decided to try anything and everything to try help my anxiety and depression, before going on the meds as a last resort (nothing wrong with them, just not my preference)

Thanks so much for that, I really appreciate it 😊😊 I reckon you do a great job of speaking from the heart too, and I think it shows in all your posts I've read 😊 I found speaking from my heart helps get things off my chest and lightens the load a lot with my depression and anxiety...though in some cases of course there's certain topics that I just can't post up here cause they're too private or specific, or easy to recognise/ compromise my identity haha

But again, thanks so much, I really really appreciate the warm welcome and the kind words, so glad to have finally met you so to speak 😊

[white knight]

Hi All,

We can have trouble liking ourselves when we fall into the unpredictable ditch of sadness/mood/depression.

As I found out 37 years ago now that we can transform our negative thinking brain into a positive one

Thread
30 minutes can change your life

However, that does not stop you falling into those ditches of mental illness. What positive thinking and motivation does do is give you a helping hand when your mind is starting to feel good in the cycle.

During times of the absence of sadness/mood/depression, we can move mountains - bigger mountains than had we not turned into positive thinkers.

I meet negative thinkers every day. I pick them immediately. They feel snowed under with the next problem whereas I look forward to that walk in the park in 3 hours time. That their world is crashing down with Covid but we aren't in a world war. That my arthritic knees are painful but I can still walk. That my suicide attempt in 1996 can define me as a person but I'd rather create a wing to cradle a lost soul here in a similar boat.

Someone told me once "if you haven't watched a flower bloom, you haven't lived".
Bloom meaning beginning to end.
That's the beauty, the peace, of thinking positive...you really appreciate. When my time expires on this planet I'm hoping I haven't missed any of life's beauty.

Google
YouTube maharaji prem rawat appreciate.

YouTube maharaji sunset

TonyWK

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

I'm one of those negative thinkers you mention, Tony. I don't often realise it, but when I do, I think about how I must come across to other people. I'm sure it's draining. I almost added here "I can't help it". But I can. It's just become an ingrained habit. I was reading yesterday about how meditation can help with this, as it assists us to reflect on our thinking with understanding and compassion.

I like the idea of being compassionate towards oneself. This is something I have been trying lately. It's great to acknowledge and celebrate when we manage or accomplish something that challenges us, or when we think better thoughts, but it's also good to be gentle and loving towards ourselves when we don't. We're works in progress - always and forever 🙂

Kind thoughts to all here, Katy

[Guest_1584]

l was very negative for a long time there back married , my poor ex. lf only she'd just said so many things , l just didn't realize it. l only found out yrs after we split by just finally realizing it myself so yeah l'm pretty aware and careful of it now.

lt also really helps to that my partner now will say things and point stuff out , pulls no punches . Not that she spends all her time picking no way she's a very positive person actually but also if any dramas l'll know about it. l really love that , just says what's on her mind and it helps a lot.

rx

[quirkywords]

Katy ,

I can be a negative thinker but I say I am realist so not sure what that means. When the fires came to my town I was negative for a while and said why me. I had so much to do like being safe and finding somewhere to live.
however I still liked myself and was positive I would get through the next year. I did. I have moments of self pity but I then think how grateful I am to live in this country and grateful to have support.
I think challenging negative thinking is hard but necessary.