Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Guest_1584]

Not wrong geoff. l'm that over computers . l had to get a new one just last wk, that use to be exiting couldn't care less these days that damn sick of them. Well, you don;t just turn them on and go now , stupid damn windows garbage want emails ph numbers don't know how many passwords put me through 20 idiot questions before l could even start the stupid thing. Did my head in. But then l had to go through it all again to get the old one ready to sell. Took all my stuff off it then read safest way for privacy was to reset them , l thought yeah looks easy 4 or 5 buttons and it's done, Ha, took bloody 6hrs and l had to go through all the same stuff again first just to get it to turn on and set to sell off, 1 am and l'm still answering stupid damn windows questions all over again. What they think people got nothin else to do but waste their time and brain power on rubbish like that , Not to mention Microsofts slimy built in way of blackmailing the whole world now into giving them all their personal details before they can even use the damn computer, l put in all fake of course they aren't getting my stuff but that'll probably bite me later if it it needs a repair

And then they wonder why people are more stressed and have more mental health problems now than ever in history. lt all goes so far and wide into and through our lives now l really don't know how humans even cope with it.

Scuse rant. rx

[Guest_1584]

l'm about to throw the new computer under a truck, l have real things to do and waste this kind of mental space on , like running a business , a troubled daughter , and life .

rx

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear RX,

Please don’t be so hard on yourself with your computer...They are so complicated to get up and running...I have a computer that I don’t know how to use properly now for over 5 years it has sat in my drawer....so I bought an iPad and it sat in my drawer after hours of trying to get it started...I rang my son for some instruction and he said the easiest way if I took it to my internet supplier’s shop....they will do it for me....I did take it and together with the kind salespeople we got it running in under half hour...maybe that’s something you might consider....

Im sorry it’s causing you so much grief...

Grandy..

[quirkywords]

Jack welcome to this thread and thanks for your post. I like the way you considered the question then answered it.
I find my mood at times determines my likeability.

I think liking yourself but not like some behaviours is u derstandanle.

Mum said she would always like/ love us but she dint always like what we did. She was departing the person from the actions.

thanks again Jack.

[Guest_1584]

Ahh thanks grandy and l'm glad you got the ipad working. Also relieved after my computer rant that someone got what it was actually about bc l felt pretty silly putting that here later.

lt's just that we;re sooooo drained and cluttered and overloaded these days, so much totally unnecessary bs, it's in everything, in your face. lt's fact people are more stressed than ever before our kids to older adults. All these things are draining so much out of us and spirit and hence the way we feel about our world and ourselves and just damn depressing. So much of who we are needs to be just wasted to even just exist these days well , the way they're setting up the latest computers now and the hidden trappings is just more of it.

Take care.

rx

[ecomama]

Hey rx

I COMPLETELY 100% agree with your non-rant and absolutely understandable frustration over technology screwing up.

It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOO frustrating. Grrrrrrrrr.

Grrrr. lol.

I remember my friend being SO excited setting up my $6000 FIRST computer for us, like over 25y ago.
SHE was so excited!
I was standing there thinking oh God, now THIS is what I'm supposed to spend my TIME on!!!!???

Like what about the garden, what about cooking and the kids, what about ANYTHING real!!!???

And that was before the INTERNET! lol.

I'm so grateful to HAVE the ways to meet you all, absolutely.

But I'm SO sad (and pithed) that this is what 'life is all about now'.

End continuing rant.... next....

EMxxxx

[Guest_1584]

Haaaa thx em.

And yeah , exactly , l mean life is ruled by technology and it's all so fake and un "real." and tracking our every thought. l mean l've got so many things turned off on this thing yet l get of the ph in another room from gf at lunch/t- took off for a few hrs. turn on the pc when l got back and it's throwing up adds for something gf and l talked about in the other room 4hrs before- it's probably watching me sleep. l put completely all dud info in it to even get it working , fake ph no too yet it still hears my phones calls, it's opening my damn email in pop ups it's even sending me my ebay mail and l haven't even used any of that on it yet. This is only a fraction of what our worlds becoming, l just find it all that depressing . And now l'll have to waste more hours just finding the latest blockers to kill off what can't be turned off just so that it minds it's own damn business.

Just imagine what your friend will be setting you up on in another in 20yrs from now. Hate to think.

[Jack2021]

Hi moonstruck, glad to meet you too and thank you for such kind words, it really means a lot 😊

I'm so glad you feel the same way, and it's not just me (lol)

It seems counterintuitive to what most people tell me all the time ( that "day time and sunlight is happy, and night time and darkness is sad")

But yeah, exactly as you spoke, I truly feel so much more at ease at night than I do at any time of the day, mornings especially...in the morning as soon as I wake up I'm usually always filled with stress, anxiety, dread, and depression and actively have to avoid thinking about things, as I know I'm not at all in the right frame of mind to solve them so to speak...I do think I have gotten a lot better at my mood recognition and what triggers me most of the time, but it's still an ongoing learning process...but hoping to get better everyday 😊

[Jack2021]

Hiya quirky 😊

Thanks so much, it means a lot 😊

You seem so good at expressing your emotions and knowing how to explain how you feel, which is a skill i have been working hard at (unknowingly) my entire life, but knowingly, and consciously, the last 6 months when my mental health issues have become an issue for me.

Exactly right about mood determining my "self-likeability" , when I'm in a very depressed or anxious mood, I can't think straight, I have no clarity, I'm not able to like myself as I'm too busy looking at all my dislikes and shortcomings and weaknesses..a toxic practice in itself but not an intentional one that is for sure...

"Departing the person from the actions" is such a great quote...it is exactly the thing I try to use to benefit, to myself and others, when things are not going quite well..
Your mother sounds like a very smart and emotionally healthy woman, i hope she is well 😊

Thank you so much as well for the kind words of support and welcome😊😊

[blondguy]

Hi Jack2021...and a wave to Quirky!

Great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue forum family.....and...for mentioning.." I'm not able to like myself as I'm too busy looking at all my dislikes and shortcomings and weaknesses"...Even though I wrote this thread a long time ago I also tend to focus on my shortcomings as well...thus the reason for this thread topic 🙂

you are always welcome here and across the forums 🙂

Paul