Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Moonstruck]

Quirky...your lack of a driving licence does not change the fact that you are extremely worth liking...if it means so much to you...how about taking some lessons now..never too late is it?

Imagine the glorious feeling when you pass the test!! No driving schools in my day. My father taught me..and I taught my sons. (They went to a few lessons with an instructor later for the official paperwork or whatever)

No..not being able to "do" something is not related at all to my ability to like myself. As you know I cannot understand that concept at all....xx

[quirkywords]

Moon

when I turned 50 I de died I would never try to learn to drive as there was too much I wanted tod. I got stressed just thinking about driving so I am ok thst I don’t drive it is just partners who had a problem. With it. Present partner is finish.

I know I am worthwhile but losing my identity as a bookshop owner did make me feel a bit lost. You know I admire the way you unconditionally like yourself and it is rubbing off onto me and hopefull others here too. Watch this space !

[Moonstruck]

Hey Quirky...watch this space?? You bet I will.

If you want to look at it unemotionally and totally in a practical common sense manner...liking yourself seems the sensible thing to do...because wherever you go, there you are!

P.s. on a serious note..I do understand about losing your identity as a bookshop owner. To survive that, is reason enough to admire and praise yourself .

[blondguy]

HI Everyone! New posters are always welcome to post too 🙂

Hey Moon.....always a bonus to have your good vibrations and thankyou! Good on you for mentioning that reverse parking is not your cup of tea...and fair enough as there are many that feel the same as yourself

Hey Guest_4593...Day 5..Good on you for being as strong as you are....5 days is a huge accomplishment! Nice1

Hey Ecomama (aka The Bionic Woman) My heartfelt appreciation for providing your support when I have been 'stuck' recently...(and across the forums)...You Rock 🙂

Hey Quirky...Its always a bonus to read your caring posts and your ongoing support. My ex girlfriend was a Div1 Grade 3 nurse....(which is a senior level)...and has been in charge of Emergency and ICU depts for ages....Yet she was petrified even as a learner driver. And still has no drivers license..My ex mentioned to me a while ago she 'should' have sought basic counselling to help her help herself...You are not alone Quirky

I hope everyone is doing well 🙂

Hugs

Paul

[quirkywords]

I have noticed that when we think in negative generalisations as you often see on the forum like People write

I am hopeless

I a loser etc well those words make it hard to like oneself.

If we say I may make mistakes and have days when I feel low but I like the way I keep trying.

Moon likes herself no matter what and I think that is something to aim for .

I remember reading that yiu maybe having a bad day but not a bad life.

can We try to reframe our negative generalisations .

[Guest_1584]

Ahh for sure, really really bad way to treat yourself and so damaging, makes me just scratch my head as to why l can get that way myself too.

rx

[Jack2021]

Hiya everyone😊

Kinda odd how I've read so much of this thread so many times but for so long I have actually had no clue weather or not "I like myself" , let alone "love myself"

For me night time is usually when I have the most clarity in my thoughts and am least affected by anxiety and depression..in fact the opposite..at night time everything looks achievable and I actually have to stop myself to making decisions or commitments when I am in this unrealistically elevated state (e.g. Not a good time to be applying for jobs haha!!!)

So anyway, these words here are spoken from me in that excessive, elevated state..the one where I'm usually untouchable by depression and anxiety....so here goes...do I "love myself"? No clue....maybe yes, on a subconscious level...hard to say,

But more importantly, "do I like myself?"
The answer I am happy to discover is yes, but the explanation is a bit more detailed than that....yes I like myself, but also I dislike a lot of my shortcomings and behaviours and attitudes as well...
I hate that I let other people get into my head with negative comments or behaviour...I hate that it affects me so much, I hate having anxiety and depression, I hate the part of me that so often "wallows in sadness"....whether it's me thinking all day long about how hurtful and insulted I felt from someone else, or something like staying in bed untill midday, and then watching the clock until I can go back to bed.... unhealthy habits...

Yet at the same time, fundamentally as a person I do like myself too....
I like that I try to be as honest and as decent of a person as I can, I like that I enjoy helping others and I don't expect anything in return, I like the feeling of enjoyment and satisfaction I get when I teach someone something new and it helps them in life, no matter how small it is.

I like that I just try to be a good person really...and it's really something I actively try to be, because it makes me feel good being good..it's too easy to be mean and ignore others or try to be "only in it for myself", but when I smile at others, talk to others, help others...I feel like it really enriches my life and my day, and I do like that about my self 😊

[Moonstruck]

Hello Jack..glad to meet you. I can tell you're a lovely person...it shows in your writing.

I get it totally about your feeling more at ease at night..me too. I try and stay awake as long as possible before the bright yellow light of morning assaults my eyes and brain and demands so many things of me. Lovely to meet you...write some more.

[ecomama]

Hey quirky, YES ofcourse we can reframe our thinking!

Moving into Mental HEALTH demands it lol.

Also if A "bad thing" happened as in ONE thing we can even think differently about that.
It doesn't mean the entire day is wrecked...

watch how we can even VIEW a "bad thing", because sometimes it wasn't.

I know many ppl would say today (or yesterday now lol) I had a "bad day", no I didn't.

A few left field things happened and I handled them all like a Champion lol.
In fact as I averted a major car accident (AGAIN), I thought WOW... I get another chance at LIFE.

Sure my car needed towing, sure it made me 2 hours late meeting my daughter to buy our new clothes driers lol.. but I could have just gone home and moped about it all if I chose to.

I didn't.

I met her 2h late, got AWESOME discounts on both driers and other stuff BECAUSE we went in there with 11 minutes to buy it all LOL!
Then had dinner out.

There were literally another 10+ things that "went wrong" today but I prefer to think these things were just not considered in the schedule I had for today.

Then I decided to visit my friend whose dealing with so much grief atm.
She wanted to go shopping for lollies lol. I went with her and we LAUGHED so much shopping together, some left field things happened AGAIN...so we even had to go to 3 shops to FIND her lollies.

Then discussed her grief and trauma for HOURS.
It's such a privilege.

I got home at 1am lol. After picking kids up late from work.

I had an AWESOME day.
I'm still here, I'm grateful for that.

Yes I like myself, I'm a Champion lol.

Btw Blondguy Paul... ahem, you were "stuck"?
It wasn't the tomatoes was it?
Huge hugs.

Love EM

[geoff]

Hello Everyone, yes I do, except that I only wish those at Microsoft could fix how your pc is running, they seem to change a great deal of 'problems' on windows 10, but in fact only make it worse for us people.

Geoff.