Dear Diary, a day to day look at self isolation

[quirkywords]

Hi

I have gone into self isolation . I will be alone and not seeing any friends or family.

I know we have other threads, but I would really like people to share their day to day thoughts and activities:

the highlights

the fun things

the frustrations

he things you can change

I think each day it would be good to share On thing that surprised me to day.

I would like you to share your ideas because it will help us all work out how.

So here is my first entry bit will be back later.

Dear Diary,

Day 1

I am not sure whether I am excited or a bit unsure.

I know I will need to distract myself and hide the chocolate biscuits.!!

I have a list of what I want to do but I think it is too ambitious.

One thing that surprised me was how much noise I like to have when alone. This may change.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Emmen welcome to this thread and thanks for your post.

Let me know if you learn how to manage time

White Rose I like marzipan especially covered in chocolate, areal secret pleasure. Today's learning, I like that as a heading. thanks.

Todays Learning I have learnt that I can change how I feel so a miserable morning does not mean a miserable day.

It is so interesting reading highlights and frustrations .

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Quirky & all,

Thanks again for this space 🙂

Mary: I agree that depression can zap motivation & can make basic daily activities challenging, let alone finding the drive to look for meaning.

But, biochemistry & life circumstances aside, I also wonder if it’s also a bit of a chicken or egg scenario. I wonder if it’s (sometimes) a lack of personal meaning that contributes towards mental health issues, or whether mental health issues makes it harder to find personal meaning. I don’t think it’s a straightforward answer...

I completely agree with you that meaning is highly personal though 🙂

Quirky: I agree that meaning can’t be forced on anyone. I also agree that pressuring people to look for meaning after a traumatic event can be unhelpful or upsetting.

But I suppose it’s really an individual thing. Some people will want to look for a “higher purpose” as their way to cope, whereas other people want to focus more on managing the practicalities of daily life or asking people to listen to their stories (or even something else entirely).

I think it really depends on the person.

Highlights: this happened last night, but I want to share it today. I’m grateful for my friends.

I chatted (virtually) with a friend & we commiserated about how much we are struggling with social isolation. Even though we both agree that social isolation is necessary to contain COVID-19, we are both finding it enormously difficult.

Of course I don’t want her to be suffering, but at the same time, it’s comforting to know that other people feel the same way as me.

Frustrations: the usual...laughs, I won’t even bother repeating it as it must be so repetitive to read.

Lessons: this month (& a bit) of social isolation where I haven’t seen my friends/family in person has taught me some important lessons about how awful isolation & loneliness feels...I only talk to them virtually due to COVID-19

I’m experiencing an iota of what people with chronic isolation/loneliness feel, yet I’m already finding it so hard. So I can only imagine how awful chronic social isolation or loneliness must be

Opportunities: I know when the pandemic ends/restrictions lift, I can return to normal life & see colleagues 5 days each week & my friends/family 2-4 times each week.

But I also realise that isn’t a reality some people.

I don’t know how, but I would like to do something to combat loneliness at a community or societal level. I genuinely think it’s a societal failing.

Pepper

[White_Rose]

Hello Pepper

What a great post. Yes indeed, meaning is so personal. Motivation is a chicken and egg situation. When I broke my kneecap I got around on crutches for a while. I told myself I could not exercise as it would hurt. I bet you've heard that one before. I was also deeply depressed at the time. However the enforced rest did give me time to think and with the encouragement of the physio I starting doing the prescribed exercises. Well it took ages to get the muscles, on both legs, strong again. It would have been so easy to give up and go on the downward spiral and I was so glad I made the effort.

But this is the point isn't it? We need to break through that motivation barrier and that's not easy without the encouragement of friends, family and professionals. What motivates one person leaves another cold. Sigh.

Absolutely some people live with chronic loneliness and isolation. I'm not entirely certain what we can do other than find an organisation that can put us in touch with isolated people so we can give some meaning to their lives. It is most definitely a societal failing.

Mary

[quirkywords]

Thanks Pepper and White Rose for your great posts. Thanks to everyone sharing their thoughts.

Being stuck: I think I am still grieving my loss from the bushfires and I may very well do for a long time. I feel we put pressure on ourselves because we feel pressure for others. There is no use by date for suffering.

Thinking of others: I feel self absorbed at times but do think of others and volunteer and try to share my experience.

Connections: How can our society make sure people are connected and not isolated.? What can I do to help this happen.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Quirky & all,

Mary: Thank you so much for your reply. I enjoyed reading your reflections & insights.

I imagine breaking you kneecap was not only a physical challenge (very painful), but also a psychological challenge. A battle of the body (& mind) to recover.

I’m so glad you found the motivation to persist at healing. I feel that’s something to feel proud very of doing.

Sigh, yes, chronic loneliness & isolation is a huge problem. Even on the forums here, I’ve lost count of the no. of times that I have seen the word “lonely” on threads (even long before COVID-19)?

Now of course, that feeling has increased about 200-fold...

I think it’s complex & I have no easy solutions. I think it partly also depends on the type of loneliness.

For example, someone who has a network of friends/family/partner but does not feel heard or understood (& therefore feels lonely) will probably need a different type of support than a person who is lonely due to geographical isolation.

But overall, I think the antidote to loneliness is always connection, but the type of connection is what needs to be personalised...

Quirky: I’m so sorry about the bushfires. I think you’re entitled to your feelings. You’re entitled to your grief. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel & for however long...

As Daniell Koepke said in her quote “you don’t owe anyone a performance of being okay.”

Today

Highlights: I’m so grateful to friends who immediately made offers of FaceTime chats when they heard I was struggling 🙂

Frustrations: the same (laughs).

Opportunities: As for tackling loneliness, I think we can each start at the local level. If every person checks in on their workmates/family/friends who live alone or who don’t have a good support network. Of course, that has to be virtual or via phone call during the pandemic

I mean, not just checking in on them as a one-off (or when I “feel like it” or happen to be bored) then forget them for the next 3 months. But checking in regularly to make sure they are okay, I think that’s a good start.

I think consistency is important 🙂

Kindness & care,

Pepper

[Gambit87]

Good morning everyone!

Highlights - I got a free coffee from my local coffee shop! I feel humbled with people do nice things for me. Left me thinking treat people the way you want to be treated and good things will happen.

Frustrations: Since working from home - I havent been sleeping properly. I've been sleeping, but its been kinda restless? For the last week Ive had the same dream - being locked up in a cell/bunker and trying to find ways out haha.

Fun - My partner and I started playing a co-op game on the playstation. Its going well... so far haha.

One thing I can change - being more open minded and trying to relax a little more.

[quirkywords]

Hi everyone

pepper I feel we all need to be able not to perform to show others we are ok when we arenot.

BB forum is a great place to be totally honest.

Opportunities I think that caring for others is crucial but we should not be forced or guilted into it.

As a society it would be wonderful for it to be second nature reach out those who are isolated and lonely

[blondguy]

Hey Quirky and thanks for the great thread topic 🙂

Highlights.....the staff at my local Woolworths supermarket for being the angels they are! Seeing you provide the best care/support to so many on the Coping during the Coronavirus thread..(thats you Quirky!)

Frustrations...a family member that refuses to see a counsellor (GP..Psychiatrist..Psychologist..MHW) and is going through chronic anxiety attacks in her 50's...It breaks my heart that some people place pride before their own well being...Its sad yet commonplace

Lessons...Learning how to post effectively from Mary (White Rose) since I joined...Mary was online when I joined and I have learned so much from her where respect and style is concerned..thankyou Mary x

my kindest always

Paul

[White_Rose]

Thanks for the compliment Paul.

I sympathise with you Paul about your family member. It may be fear that holds this person back. Seeing a psychiatrist or similar has connotations of being crazy. We know that's not true but sadly the fear of finding out they have something dreadful is very real. It's good to look back and remember how we felt the first time we were referred to any kind of therapy. I know I was very nervous.

Highlights so far today. A small group of neighbours, with appropriate distancing, listened to the Dawn Service via one neighbour's phone attached to a small speaker. We all took candles. It was certainly a different Anzac Day service. I found it very personal being in such a small group and no doubt the current circumstances of the world added to that.

Lesson? We definitely need each other and we can still keep up contact though it may take some creativity to do so.

Mary

[quirkywords]

Thanks everyone,

Paul thanks for your kind words and for adding the category Lessons.

Mary, I liked your description of your Anzac day modified get together.

so far today

Highlights I watched a daughter prepare a little drive ceremony for her Vietnam veteran dad. She has got up early and spent hours making poppies and preparing the driveway.

Frustrations that indigenous people were not until recently recognised for their service and many are still waiting for medals for their relatives.

Lessons: We need to realise now there are homeless people , people living in very rundown accommodation and not everyone can enjoy slowing down and being creative .

what I have noticed about my self, I am trying to be more honest when I am not coping instead of saying I am fine, all is good.