Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[CMF]

Hi Quirky, 

Yes it is Louise Hay. 

I believe you should love every version of yourself.

I'm not myself this week. Not my normal self  😔

[CMF]

Speaking of being ourselves.. little miss has her bday Monday & friends sleeping over tonight. M messaged me earlier & asked how said to wish her a Happy Birthday.  Last Monday was his sis' bday I didn't wish her HB or ask him to. After he wished little miss HB I thought I should get him to wish sis HB from me but I didn't.  I realised if I genuinely wanted to I would have last Monday. It would not have been genuine if I did. I can't bring myself to be all friendly toward her knowing that I blame her for ruining our relationship.  So I didn't do it. It's not me & I don't want to pretend to him that I'm ok with her. I stuck with who I am, someone who doesn't want to pretend that all is OK when it isn't. 

[quirkywords]

CMF accepting that sometimes things are not ok and still loving all the versions, is a life skill I am still working on. 

[Moonstruck]

CMF....I am glad you didn't wish her a happy birthday....well done! You did the right thing....champion!  x

[Moonstruck]

Quirky my dear friend........"wherever you go, there you are".    They're ALL yourself!   You have no other choice but to be yourself...everyone else is taken!........x

[Samantha]

Hello! I've also questioned myself about that. I think having some changes in life is worth it, and you wouldn't know if you didn't try. Just don't forget who you really are, and if you are happy being you, keep doing it. 

[quirkywords]

 I think we change as we get older. In my 20s I was different and unmedicated . Now I sm quieter.

My re urging thought is people always telling me to be myself then in next breath yjry say you need to dress better, exercise more , stop singing in public etc etc. 

so how can one be oneself when others are telling you how to change.

thanks  everyone for your posts. 

[Moonstruck]

Dear Quirky....I still don't know who these "others" are who tell you how to change, dress, exercise etc plus to"be yourself'...who are they?  I can't think of anyone who tells me how to spend my time or what I should be doing or not doing.....You are an adult...you can do anything you like!.....love MoonS x

[CMF]

If people feel the need to change us then they are not our people.

[CMF]

Since breaking up with M I've changed. I've lost weight therefore I dress differently.  My hair has grown. I am more confident in who i am because I'm not fighting against his sister for his attention or to feel like my feelings matter.  I've changed on the outside & I like it but inside I'm the same.  Caring, loyal, down to eath. Everything I always was that he apparently loved about me & then things he didn't like -anxious, sad. He loved the loyalty but couldn't handle my honesty.