Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[Guest_1055]

Hi Quirky

I can definitely relate to "trying to be myself" Because I don't know who myself is

[quirkywords]

Thanks Shelll.

Has there ever been a time you know who yourself was.?

Do you find all the advice conflicting from self help books,friendly advice on what sort of a person one should be to be confusing.?

[Guest_1055]

Hi Quirky.

Yes there has been a time. It lasted for around 5 minutes. I ache to go back to it. Or find it again. There was no strifing, a sense of belonging, a finally at home feeling, restful.

I will write more later Quirky

[Learn to Fly]

Hi quirkywords and Shell,

Yes, I also relate to this. Have been working on a definition of myself for most of my life. Still haven’t got there. It seems to change, though, over the years. Some things don’t but so do , I think that’s probably natural. Life experience adds up a bit.

[quirkywords]

Shelll

Thanks for your reply. I can relate to wanting thst st home feeling, feeling relaxed for who I am.

[Mk2692]

Hi everyone,

I feel the same sometimes. I spent years trying to understand who I am only to find out that maybe I really don't know that answer. I think life's challenges and hardships bring out a different side of me that I have never expected. It sometimes makes me weaker and sometimes stronger.

I realise every-time that who I am is not who I thought to be. I then realised that I will only understand who I am by listening and understanding my emotions and the way I act in certain situations. I think sometimes who I am can change after time, because I am not constant, I am also changing.

[Guest_1055]

Hi beautiful people,

Yeah Quirky I do find self help books confusing. I am not even sure if we can find ourselves in a self help book.

You can get some good tips in some self help books on how to improve things in your life. I am about to start a self help type book on learning social skills. Don't think this book will show me who I am... More like show me how to do something.

[quirkywords]

Mk

yes I think we look for answers but maybe we keep changing.m

shelll

Someone told me if I get one idea from a self help book or talk that’s enough as no book or talk will have all the answers.

[Elizabeth CP]

I think trying to find ourselves as a single person is impossible. We naturally change throughout our life as we learn and experience different things. What is important is to luve consistant with our own feelings and values. There are times when someone suggests something and we feel good about it. It feels like something worthwhile trying. In that case you are being yourself as you are choosing. Alternatively sometimes someone suggests something but even though you know the person has your best interests at heart it doesn't feel right. In that case thank the other person but don't follow their suggestion. It is when you do things to fit with other peoples ideas even when it doesn't feel rught that you are not being yourself.

[Ggrand]

Hi Quirky and everyone....🤗..

Does anyone think that we are looking for ourselves when in reality we are who we are each day...

Some days we are depression, some days we are anxiety, some days we are our traumas then other days we can be content or even happy...

Im a very timid person, always have been due to violence aimed at me...but I don’t want to be this timid scared person....I want to be stronger in every way and I keep looking for that person....I have never been that person, my mind tells me I can be stronger within myself but my soul doesn’t accept my mind...

So who am I really.....I really don’t know...confusion sets in most days, wanting to be someone I’m not, my bosses wife said to me....I need to be more assertive....I tried, I failed...If she said I need to be a doormat....I will succeed..

Will I ever know?...will the constant struggle between mind and soul one day give me the answer I’m looking for?...

Who am I? I wish I knew...

I feel self help books and talks are so confusing, their are so so many and some I found contradict, what is written in other books or talks..,

Have a great day everyone.....keep on looking for the person you know or think you should be...Or have you already yourself.,,

Grandy.,