Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[Guest_128]

To me,it's been walrus it.

Thankyou

[quirkywords]

Good morning everyone especially people reading my thread for the first time.

Croix, that is great that you could get to know your wife before you met.That would be a great story.

A thought to discuss. Does our mental health define who we are and how we see ourselves?

I keep saying that bipolar is only a part of who I am, but then I talk about it a lot and try to make sense of my past and present. Now I am on medication I dont have the extremes of mood but as I stated at the start of this thread I have opposites in my personality.

I would like to hear what others think about how illness/diagnosis defines who they are.

Quirky

[Guest_128]

Yep it totally sucks 😝

[Quercus]

Hi Quirky,

Talk about the hard questions!

Does our mental health define who we are and how we see ourselves?

I am not sure about this.

I'd love to say no it doesn't define me because I know I am more than just my depression. I can't blame all the crappy experiences on depression...life isn't perfect for anyone. But sometimes I resent my depression and the impact it has. How I feel controlled by it some days.

But depression has also changed me. I approach things differently. I have a lot more empathy. I have no tolerance for cruel people. And have gotten better at standing up for myself and speaking out. I don't feel the same about life, about people and about myself as I did before. I feel a lot less guilt and a lot less care about what people think of me. And that's not a bad thing at all.

Not sure if that's answered your question but that's what I've got.

Ah Later 😊

Never change! I think you are just wonderful.

[quirkywords]

Quercus I like the way you always think things through and give a detailed response. I agree that I have more empathy, am more compassionate but would I have been like this if I didn't have a mental health label? Who knows? Does it matter?

I blame bipolar for so much and I even wrote a letter to my bipolar once and a lot of bitter and angry things came out that I thought did not worry me. Is an interesting exercise.

Later, I agree with Quercus you are wonderful and I agree with your short succinct reply- so true!!

Quirky

[white knight]

Hi Quirky

Stephen Fry said "if I had a choice to live my life again I'd live it with my illness as it is that much a part of me" paraphrasing.

So regardless of his ups and downs he acknowledges that the removal of his bipolar would leave such a void as to render him other problems.

My thoughts are that our personality is swamped by our illnesses in such a degree we cant identify who we are. The illnesses are so engulfing we are consumed by it.

Tony WK

[Guest_128]

Holly crap batman

That answers all the questions.

Later

[Guest_128]

Ok Q and Q

It is this funny,dry,upfront,honest part of ME that gets me into trouble!!!! Most people hate it,they are scared,not ready or just don't get it.

I can't help it,it just spews out of me like I am possessed.

But you know what?

I don't give a dam (yeah yeah wrong dam)

Later

[quirkywords]

Later

I get you . I like your humour.

Keep on being you.

good thinking 99

Q

[quirkywords]

Tony, Thanks for your comments.

The thing is with a sentence that starts with if, we will never know the outcome. I have a mental illness and no wishing it away or wondering will change anything.

Even though I may sometimes complain, my bipolar is what it is and things could be worse without it who knows.

I saw Stephen Fry live 18 months ago. It was wonderful and moving.

Quirky