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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 2

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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The_Possum What to write on my resume?
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone I wasn't sure where to post this so I hope people will see this, read it and hopefully provide some advice. I've taken approx 14months off work predominantly due to mental health issues. There's now a job I'm really interested in and alth... View more

Hi everyone I wasn't sure where to post this so I hope people will see this, read it and hopefully provide some advice. I've taken approx 14months off work predominantly due to mental health issues. There's now a job I'm really interested in and although I'm feeling anxious about it, my family, psych and GP are encouraging me to make a new resume and apply. I don't even know if I'd get an interview or the role but in any case they think it would be good for me just to bite the bullet and take the first step. So I'm going to do it. But how best to approach this and explain the gap on my otherwise 12 year continuous history? Any suggestions appreciated?

Vegetarian Marshmallow Jordan Peterson
  • replies: 2

Hey guys, I've been very interested in this guy - Jordan Peterson - recently. He's a Canadian psychologist and he has a channel on Youtube which has many videos I think would be interesting to depressed and anxious people. He talks a lot about the me... View more

Hey guys, I've been very interested in this guy - Jordan Peterson - recently. He's a Canadian psychologist and he has a channel on Youtube which has many videos I think would be interesting to depressed and anxious people. He talks a lot about the meaning and symbolism of religions (mostly Christianity) as they relate to life, and ties it in with his psychological knowledge. I'm not religious, but I appreciate that religions were made up and contributed to by many many people over a very long time, and all those people have injected their wisdom into the religions. So I think there can be useful messages in religions, even though none of them are literally true. Anyway, check him out.

Vorbis teeny tiny goals app
  • replies: 7

For the last few months I've been trying out a new approach to my depression, by making all the tasks I should do day to day like tooth brushing and cooking dinner into a game. It's pretty much like a to do list, only I've cut up the tasks and put th... View more

For the last few months I've been trying out a new approach to my depression, by making all the tasks I should do day to day like tooth brushing and cooking dinner into a game. It's pretty much like a to do list, only I've cut up the tasks and put them into a bowl so which one you do at a time is randomised. Some of the tasks are once offs so I leave them out once they're done, others I put back in at the start of each day. It's fun and so far it's working for me. I'm adding social goals to it at the moment like 'start small talk with a stranger' and 'try to tell a joke'. It's a lot less pressure somehow knowing that it's just for a game rather than because I need to get out more. I was thinking I might try to learn some coding and turn it into a free app, but then I realised that most of the things that I click with do absolutely nothing for anyone else. Thought I'd ask here if anyone thought it might help them with their depression too?

Jimny Colouring book
  • replies: 7

I just had a go of one of those adult colouring books this evening. It was a really nice break from all the electronic mayhem and my stack of dense text laden books. Laid out on the floor like I did when I was a kid, and started colouring in a rabbit... View more

I just had a go of one of those adult colouring books this evening. It was a really nice break from all the electronic mayhem and my stack of dense text laden books. Laid out on the floor like I did when I was a kid, and started colouring in a rabbit! I am actually looking forward to finishing the rabbit. Anyone else tried these? How do other people unwind indoors in the evening that doesn't involve TV/Computer/Phone?

white knight Pampering yourself
  • replies: 3

Being kind to ourselves isnt common among those of us with mental illness. We just dont believe we are worthy of any rewards. Why would we? We dont do anything right to be giving ourselves gifts right? The problem here is that everyone needs or can b... View more

Being kind to ourselves isnt common among those of us with mental illness. We just dont believe we are worthy of any rewards. Why would we? We dont do anything right to be giving ourselves gifts right? The problem here is that everyone needs or can benefit with pampering. We thrive on it because it feels good. We respond better after a holiday. We have a spring in our step if we buy clothes. We enjoy a chocolate bar after 2 weeks of dieting. This is what could be seen as normal in the act of balancing our lives. Balance of sacrifice with reward. The problem facing many MI people is that we are not always balanced. We are indeed extremes in behaviour...be it moods, speed of doing things , sensitivity, reactions even speech. In this instance we are talking about those that make huge efforts and are over concentrating such efforts to the point whereby they dont reward themselves. Over commitment. Low self esteem plays a major part. The need to claw back our lives towards normal. I know from my own experiences that another factor plays a part. That the obvious is missed. We could due to a low opinion of ourselves miss or dismiss the inner need to pamper yourself. So how do you pamper yourself...effectively? Too many parents feel obliged to share their time window shopping with their children. That in my view is rewarding yourself with an enjoyable activity and taking it away with the negatives that come with it. The tantrums or what they want. It just isnt quality time. Quality time is crucial to this plan. A good friend perhaps? I'd suggest spending an hour before meeting your friend, shopping alone. That will give you more to talk about and you'll be relaxed. A walk in a park can be as fulfilling and less costly especially for low income earners. The scent of a rose and the watching of bees and birds more surreal. Whatever you choose choose it for you. Give back to yourself some thankyou for effort. Do you reward yourself? How? Tell us what you do. It could help a reader come to terms with the concept of caring better for themselves. Tony WK

demonblaster What I've learnt about dealing with depression
  • replies: 13

I didn't know I had Bipolar until I was 46 yrs and suffered wickedly deep depression ..often.My besty wasn't very supportive. She had a lot going for her and of course with depression and this beast of demons attacking my self worth and my god it's a... View more

I didn't know I had Bipolar until I was 46 yrs and suffered wickedly deep depression ..often.My besty wasn't very supportive. She had a lot going for her and of course with depression and this beast of demons attacking my self worth and my god it's a master at that although I had awesome parents, it wasn't enough to pull me through the extreme Black times of teenage yrs.I tried suicide 4 times and there was nearly another. I wanted out cause I couldn't see any light in this deep dark tunnel. You hear people say oh they just want attention....some may...but what they don't know is it takes a LOT of courage to go against a natural instinct to survive and try and end your life. So I decided to take on these demons after being diagnosed with BP and decided it's not going to control my life anymore and I'm starting to learn how to handle and avoid the dark deep downs. Majority of my lifes had a dull or dark cloud lingering. I'm usually a happy go lucky type but that's always been close by.IT takes work...hard work but it's worth it. What's better, feeling terrible or being happy and cruisy. Basically one of the main things I've learnt is not to dwell and not to allow too much self pity, it drags ya down massively. Try to get sleep and what I've learnt is if I'm down is to try and think hard what exactly it is that's pulling me down and why. Once you know what it's easier to try and work on changing it. Dad said years ago you need confidence in life...took me years but I realised not that long ago that you do need to like/love yourself. It really does make a dif. Also it helps thinking and looking for positives too even though it seems there aren't any, ...they're there...just hard to find when we're feeling blaggghhh. A friend said recently no matter how awful you feel, it doesn't stay that way. It's true. Time thank god does help us through hard stuff. When I was younger I didn't know to try and help myself or how but it's working out mainly what's wrong and going from there. I try to be completely honest with myself and accept where I go wrong. Not always easy but helps in the process. Happy to answer any questions and hope this is of some help. I believe we all have the tools to fight with, it's just finding and learning how to use em. Go easybeyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Doolhof Dealing with NEGATIVE emotions, thoughts, words and memories
  • replies: 26

Hi Everyone, We all have them right! Negatives in our lives that pull us down. They may be words others have spoken to us, things we tell ourselves, beliefs we have accepted over the years, wrong truths, what ever you want to call them we all have th... View more

Hi Everyone, We all have them right! Negatives in our lives that pull us down. They may be words others have spoken to us, things we tell ourselves, beliefs we have accepted over the years, wrong truths, what ever you want to call them we all have them. We could include the What ifs or Why me or any other phrase that has a negative connotation. I have started this thread so people can share their negatives and together we may be able to come up with solutions, ideas or thoughts that might help. My NEGATIVE thought might be "No one is going to respond to this post!" How do I know that? If no one does respond, does that mean I am stupid for thinking someone might respond? Our minds keep telling us stories, right or wrong. It is what I do with those stories and thoughts that count. I can feel defeated if no one responds, or I could accept this might not be a topic that interests anyone. We all deserve to feel as though we are of value and we don't allow our sense of worth to be based on what other people say or how we feel about ourselves when depressed and full of negativity. We are not worthless or useless, we are all unique and valuable to society in some way. This is an opportunity to share the negatives and for us to help each other find ways to overcome them. Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

white knight Do you talk too much about your problems?
  • replies: 20

I have a pet dislike. It was drummed into me by my wonderful dad to consider other people, to "walk a mile in their shoes". I loved him for it but he didn't have to swap TV channels from a John Wayne movie to motor racing so easily. That's family and... View more

I have a pet dislike. It was drummed into me by my wonderful dad to consider other people, to "walk a mile in their shoes". I loved him for it but he didn't have to swap TV channels from a John Wayne movie to motor racing so easily. That's family and that's ok. Allowing some acquaintances however to think they are royalty with excess kindness however isn't healthy. Its a way to over respect someone. It can lead them to think they are superior or rather you are inferior. It might have been ok for dad and son but not with friends or acquaintances. In those circumstances a level playing field should be your aim. However, a level playing field for those with mental challenges is not so easy. Our issues are so prominent minute by minute, we seem to have difficulties like- 1. talking too much too often about our struggles and 2. some of us can portray the atmosphere that our issues outweigh any issues a person without mental illness could have (which could not be true). These two problems can become their problems with US! I ask the question "is this fair and understandable to "dump" on other people the topics of our mental illness? I say yes. You might disagree because some people hide their issues well. My decision however comes with a proviso. That equal time is devoted from you the mental illness owner to the other party. and I admit I'm the first to put my hand up to say I not only talk too much about my issues but I rabbit on and the time flies...I have little idea how long I'm torturing the poor listener. It's time to adjust that, in fact reverse it. To act. I've asked a few friends what length of time is acceptable to most friends about talking of ones illnesses be it physical of mental. 5 minutes said most, 10 minutes ok, 15 minutes no way!!! 20 and you are not a friend but a burden. I attended a family gathering last week. It was a funeral of a distant relative. I went to the eatery following the event and spoke to relatives I've never met. They were not close enough to mention my issues but later I was with others that I was familiar with. "How's your depression Tony" one asked....off I blabbed without thinking. But after 5 minutes I finished with some self discipline. My audience however went silent. "How's your leg Bill" I asked (he had a knee replacement weeks ago). "Fine, why do you ask". A full 5 seconds lol. Consider other people, limit your chat about your issues to keep a friend. What do you think about this? Tony WK

white knight BOREDOM...the closed door to fun?
  • replies: 23

Depression, and I'm no expert - just a sufferer as my wife is, comes in many forms and we are all in different circumstances. That includes work, school, married, single, unemployed and the endless other differences. What I have noticed in my last 20... View more

Depression, and I'm no expert - just a sufferer as my wife is, comes in many forms and we are all in different circumstances. That includes work, school, married, single, unemployed and the endless other differences. What I have noticed in my last 20 years of life is the connection of being busy to less periods of depression. I've had interests in the past of vintage car restoration, gardening, building my own home and model airplanes. Clearly, the worst period of depression were during the times I was not involved in any of these interests. And when not involved I was also, among many reasons, not financially strapped enough to be involved....eg broke. This is not including the traumatic times of broken marriages etc. I've noticed some posters mention boredom as being their arch enemy and thought I'd make a topic out of it. So what can we do? I feel very sorry for sufferers of depression when they have zero hobbies, zero interests in sport and even basic activities like walking or cycling. I cant conceive why anyone wouldnt like to go on a daily walk. But then I dont live their lives and we, as compassionate human beings should accept that we are all different. However, what is there to achieve on a walk? Back to nature, fresh air, saying hello to passer bys, watching birds and the unexpected happenings. Depression though, is a state of mind that, regardless of the listed positives, has you firstly in a mood that wont get you to even place your runners on let alone walk the 3-4 kms to make the walk worthwhile. Ok, hobbies. I flew radio controlled model airplanes with a club. I spent countless hours building and repairing them. Flying was fun. For insurance purposes I needed to be a member of a club. The **** committee members always threw their weight around even if you didnt do wrong. The nature of the narcissist. Hence a reason I hate clubs. Very few people know how to approach a grown adult with a simple request without an authoritarian voice. It was one of many reasons I left the hobby. But now, my interest is in motorcycles and tinkering with them, in my own shed with limited stranger contact. I'm happy as I've found the happy medium. Bit of gardening, bit of tinkering, bit of camping. If you are bored, if you havent filled your mind with thoughts of a hobby or sport then seriously consider the change it could make. Many times when you are depressed might have been different with....mind diversion. Hope this is of value to some.

highlysensitivepersonhsp Breaking the mental tension
  • replies: 2

I felt so much tension in my head. The metaphorical black cloud darkened my skies. Nothing I did would change the weather up there. I did the washing, but I wasn't really present. I kept having these thoughts, thoughts about not being who I wanted to... View more

I felt so much tension in my head. The metaphorical black cloud darkened my skies. Nothing I did would change the weather up there. I did the washing, but I wasn't really present. I kept having these thoughts, thoughts about not being who I wanted to be. About what role I would like for myself. Telling myself that if only I was somebody then I would be happy. In truth, I came to this forum seeking to be someone. To teach. To share. To gain something for myself. Perhaps a reputation. But as I read through the posts I was humbled. The bubble of ego I lived in burst. I couldn't believe how bad so many of you are feeling. How much suffering there is right here, let alone in the world. And how grateful I am for my tale of survival. Suddenly, the tension broke and the black clouds were lifted. Gratitude and humility cleared the air. I am just so grateful for surviving the horrors of mental illness. I don't want to feed my ego anymore. I want to remain humble. I hope to maintain this new mindset. To live with blue skies and a lightness of being.