Realising I’m Gay

[Tex32]

For a long time I’ve identified as bisexual, but recently I believe I’m gay. Realising this at 44 has been quite difficult. All my friends are married with children so they have their hands full with that. There’s no question any of them would ‘disown’ me so to speak but I don’t have anyone to talk to  for support

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Thankyou for reaching out, many anonymous readers could benefit by such a post.

Everyone has their own journey in life and approaching middle age is likely the ideal time to reflect upon your inner self like your attractions, social circles and things like fashion and so on. But whatever you do the best form of mental release and comfort is to seek what you like and want, without the dominance from others that think they know better. This is your journey and you select the forks in your road yourself with the assistance of others nothing more.

In some ways anxiety from "coming out" can be greater than the hurdles you might have to jump over from the opposition to your news. After all, those in opposition have made their own decisions in life without much backlash I would imagine. Also you have likely supported your family members in making their choices. Going from "bi-sexual to gay" to me, seem no real change so for others this might also be the case.

Subsequently you could be worrying unnecessarily. Worry is non productive.

Here is a few threads for your benefit. I hope they help. You can also use the search function

LGBTIQ+ Not conventional? you are still a jigsaw p... - Beyond Blue Forums - 146736

Worry, worry worry - Beyond Blue Forums - 87808

TonyWK

[Trans22]

Some people move through sexuality &/or gender labels over time.  It's well documented that people, generally, learn more from their mistakes (trial & error) than any other form of learning. My own journey has involved a lot of trial & error.  Societal expectations (e.g., my desire to be "normal") and my ignorance are the reasons for my not coming into true awareness until I was in my 50s.  If your discovery is affecting your mental health, I suggest you seek professional help - look for people who advertise LGBTQIA+ (queer) community support.  You could also try reaching out to QLife - a BeyondBlue like service run by queer people for queer people.  Some medical facilities provide brochures/advice in relation to finding community help.  Of course, you could seek out people in the community (online or in-person) - I'd recommend limiting yourself to Australian communities.