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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Karthik Married Gay guy with 2 kids
  • replies: 13

Hi All, After 14 years of marriage, I came out to my Mrs nearly a year ago. Have 13 years and 6.5years kids. It’s been hard year to live together with clashes time to time, no connection whatsoever between us like use to be. She’s still angry with me... View more

Hi All, After 14 years of marriage, I came out to my Mrs nearly a year ago. Have 13 years and 6.5years kids. It’s been hard year to live together with clashes time to time, no connection whatsoever between us like use to be. She’s still angry with me being myself. She expect me to live together and stop whatever I do as I was in the past. It makes me so hard even after I’m saying that I need to move on and live my life. She and her family thinks I’m so selfish fella and don’t care about her and kids. I do love my kids dearly but at the same time, I didn’t want to live a lie anymore. She kept saying I’m the whole world to her and she cannot do anything else without me. It makes it so hard to tear apart from her. I am in a situation like i came out from the closet but forced to go back to closet now. Not sure if this is any healthy for my mental health if this continues. Please advise on this what can I do? Thx

Aku When do you tell people?
  • replies: 3

I have been out for going on 16 years now and I still struggle with this. Generally I feel that I will tell people about my sexuality when it becomes relevant. I.e. if they hit on me or if I want to hit on them. But it does leave me in some weird sit... View more

I have been out for going on 16 years now and I still struggle with this. Generally I feel that I will tell people about my sexuality when it becomes relevant. I.e. if they hit on me or if I want to hit on them. But it does leave me in some weird situations. I am 90% sure that the people I work with don't realise I am gay, we spend 40 - 50 hours a week together and are otherwise a pretty tight nit team, but it never really comes up. On one hand it isn't relevant at work, on the other it sometimes feels like I am hiding from them, even though I do answer questions honestly. However bringing it up seems forced and awkward. What do you think when do you tell people?

Little_Orange Lesbian?, Christian, clingy, conflicted
  • replies: 4

Hi. I'm a woman in my 30s. Mostly since I was 12 I have felt attracted to older women, but it's sort of mixed up with a feeling of wanting to be taken care of which seems childish of me and makes me question if I'm gay or just have a personality issu... View more

Hi. I'm a woman in my 30s. Mostly since I was 12 I have felt attracted to older women, but it's sort of mixed up with a feeling of wanting to be taken care of which seems childish of me and makes me question if I'm gay or just have a personality issue. I also have alienated good friends by becoming needy and clingy because I was lonely and confused, and because of that now I'm paranoid about being abandoned which makes the clingyness worse. I've never been in a romantic relationship with anyone. I have this belief that God will punish me if I pursue a romantic relationship with a woman. I've had people tell me that's not true but the belief is really entrenched and I can't shake it. A lot of my church friends think it's wrong to be in a lesbian relationship. And my non-church friends tell me that's ridiculous just don't think that way and do what you want. But the fear of punishment and the conflict I feel doesn't go away. I'm unhappy and don't like who I am and I don't like that I wear out my friends by being needy and overly sensitive. My psychologist doesn't seem to understand how real the religious fears are for me. She says I have GAD but I can't help thinking that maybe there's more to it, because of all the problems I've had in my friendships and how I read into everything they do that maybe they hate me, and my reaction is always over-the-top which causes them to actually get mad if they weren't to begin with. Also now I have a crush on my boss who is married which makes me hypersensitive to everything she says and makes it difficult to concentrate at work. Thanks for reading.

Qwertyunit My family disowned me because I'm gay
  • replies: 5

I'm a new member here but quite young and joined because of a couple of issues that I hoped you guys could help out with. I've recently come out to my family as gay/lesbian and they reacted quite badly. My sister has called me names, my mum has stopp... View more

I'm a new member here but quite young and joined because of a couple of issues that I hoped you guys could help out with. I've recently come out to my family as gay/lesbian and they reacted quite badly. My sister has called me names, my mum has stopped talking to me and my dad doesn't accept it. They aren't Christian or anything, and I'm sure they migh be in shock but their reactions are affecting me quite a bit. I also have severe depression and these reactions are affecting it. The depression hasn't been as bad these past few days, because I was happy with my life, having a girlfriend and everything, but coming out to my family and them reacting bad has affected it. Any tips to help out?

Raynor safe alcohol treatment rehabs
  • replies: 1

Hey all, I haven't been here in a while. Glad this forum is still open. I've been trying to get a grip on my drinking for months and starting to despair. My friends and partner are all pushing me to do something about it but I'm worried that rehabs w... View more

Hey all, I haven't been here in a while. Glad this forum is still open. I've been trying to get a grip on my drinking for months and starting to despair. My friends and partner are all pushing me to do something about it but I'm worried that rehabs won't be good places for a trans person. (Also worried about costs and other things). Just thought I would ask here if anyone who is trans or gender diverse has experience with rehabs (I'm in Melb) and how you found them? Thanks, Rayne

G76 So what am i,,?
  • replies: 23

Hi all. Im a single 42yr male..always felt different never fit in,self harm and drug abuse have been the norm for me.I never could relate to females in the sexual sense but always found em to be good friends..i could never sleep with any till the age... View more

Hi all. Im a single 42yr male..always felt different never fit in,self harm and drug abuse have been the norm for me.I never could relate to females in the sexual sense but always found em to be good friends..i could never sleep with any till the age of 26 and that was purely cause the woman knew i was struggling..im an average looking fella i keep in shape am no brad pitt but not half bad..all my life both gay and straight men and women keep asking if im gay.why do they always ask me this do they see sumthn i dont..,? I have found i find beutiful people attractive not necesarilly either..i do find men attractive but could neva find a way to be with a guy either.i would always find myself walking out of the room b4 any thing could happen btween either girl or guy.like i said i neva had sex till i was 26yrs.i have no kids nor friends as most have gone there own way but i have always been a shy person and awkward around people.but am pretty sure i have a gay preference,,so whats wrong with me,?? im fine physically but up stairs just blocks me from bing with any1..im a good person i think..so why am i so isolated,,?

Kev123 Need advise on supporting my son.
  • replies: 9

Hi everybody !! I am new here, and really just would like to talk to somebody to exchange thoughts. Have been reading through many of the sections on here and have read many helpful comments. We have been living , or better still are living as a very... View more

Hi everybody !! I am new here, and really just would like to talk to somebody to exchange thoughts. Have been reading through many of the sections on here and have read many helpful comments. We have been living , or better still are living as a very happy and lucky family. Hubby (which is me ) a wonderful wife and to wonderful children, one daughter and one son. Surprise, surprise - two days ago our son sat us down and told us that he is gay. First I have to say that I have absolutely no problem with that, and from this day forward he will still have the same support and help with anything he needs like he always had. I do understand it takes a little of adjusting ones thoughts and future plans, but nothing really changed. The biggest problem for me going through my mind for the last two days is , that I was not there for him the last couple of years when he obviously went through horrible times sorting out his one thoughts about his sexuality. We normally talk about everything, but this obviously was very hard for him. All I need help with is , how can I make up for that lost time. Its all still very new to me and all I really want is for him not to get hurt by society. Any chat or advise is really greatly appreciated.

MrBP Bad day
  • replies: 3

Just having a bad day. A life long sufferer of depression some days it is so overwhelming. Today is one of them. I’m not suicidal just downright exhausted from the whirlpool of negative thoughts that flood my mind. Will I ever feel “normal” or at lea... View more

Just having a bad day. A life long sufferer of depression some days it is so overwhelming. Today is one of them. I’m not suicidal just downright exhausted from the whirlpool of negative thoughts that flood my mind. Will I ever feel “normal” or at least some joy in my life. A little about me. I’m a 53 year old gay man who although have been out for over 30 years I have never felt comfortable with my sexuality. I’ve had only one relationship in my life and that ended 24 years ago. No dates or any romance since. It isn’t from a lack of trying. Hence I am bitterly lonely. I have no real friends and thus the loneliness is ten fold. I long for connection. Anyways i am rambling a little. Just feeling terribly lonely right now. Thanks for listening.

I_feel_like_soggy_bread Transgender ?
  • replies: 7

I came out sometime earlier this year and I don’t think my parents took me seriously saying it’s just “being a teenager” and now I’m beginning to think that way too, I still feel dysphoria but not as often and I often just feel numb and weird, whenev... View more

I came out sometime earlier this year and I don’t think my parents took me seriously saying it’s just “being a teenager” and now I’m beginning to think that way too, I still feel dysphoria but not as often and I often just feel numb and weird, whenever I think about what I used to want I just don’t feel the same anymore. I don’t know if i was just going through a phase or not because I still feel all wrong in my body but it just feels like nothing really and I am “just being a teenager”. I really don’t know what to do anymore

DullStar420 I guess i could use some advice and help if ya have time.
  • replies: 1

Okay so I'm Amelia and 16, I have Rather recently started dating my rather new friend and I feel worried. I have been depressed for awhile trying to get out of bed and talk to people even if i don't have much support from parents and family to a poin... View more

Okay so I'm Amelia and 16, I have Rather recently started dating my rather new friend and I feel worried. I have been depressed for awhile trying to get out of bed and talk to people even if i don't have much support from parents and family to a point where i don't feel comfortable talking EVER to them about my sexual preference and to add to it a lack friends to be around as most have abandoned me. i'm still trying to talk to people and get better and trying to get through both far back and rather recent suicidal thoughts. Once i got to a point where i could at least drag myself out of bed (Even though i feel like shit still) I met her and after talking to her and hanging out with her for a month i finally asked her to date and after a week of talking and discussing it she got into the idea. We've been dating for a month and a half and unfortunately she isn't completely blind and has a lack of empathy to my own love for her. She has caught on to me and i told her only the bear bones of the stuff wrong with me. I'm Worried I'm being too clingy towards her and my past mistakes will impact her attitude towards me if i show and tell her to the full extent. I'm Worried if i show her everything including the physical scars, she will not like me anymore even though she continues to try and successfully lift my spirits. I Love her alot , wanna make her happy and i don't have anyone to really to talk to. I'm Looking for any advice to help me for the relationship or to help me get into a better frame of mind. I don't know what I'm doing and a lovesick puppy for my Girl. Any notes is appreciated as i don't want to treat her badly because of my own self loathing and self esteem problems etc. If Any of ya Past by and offer some little bits of wisdom to this Appreciate it Hugs and Kisses and have a great day/night.