where do I start
Thanks for sharing this on the beyond blue forums. Opening up about your struggles is not always an easy thing to do. It is great that you've taken the step to reach out here tonight. If you'd like to talk these feelings through please, contact our support team anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm - midnight. It sounds like you are really trying your best to get through this and we hope you receive some support from our community.
I feel sorry for him
I have nightmares about him
but I've had my whole life with this man and don't know how to stop caring so much
I really think moving on is my only decision now to save any shred of who I am
I'm quickly becoming depressed too
no point in going down with the ship when the captain is only worried about himself anyway
I know mental health is complicated but I can't make a difference
I just have so much guilt and sadness at letting 40 years of relationship go
im having terrible nightmares
I don't know how to get myself to inner peace anymore
I just sit around crying
I know I can't go back into that dangerous situation but don't know how to get myself forward
I'm not having good thoughts or not sleeping
I'm so scared I really don't know what life holds for me at 62 years old starting again
Oh dear - how difficult.
You owe it to yourself to live a better life than this. Sometimes the one we are in seems the safer one because we know it but this sort of environment is too destructive to you on every level. Please seek help through beyond blue support line, lifeline etc. You need support to help you be strong. It is hard to imagine but life can be so different and better. Please don't suffer anymore.