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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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CrazyGecko89 Not sure what to do.
  • replies: 2

So I got a message from a friend recently that i haven't seen or heard in years asking if I'm free to chat as she was in a really dark place. I oblige and found out she left a 5 year relationship with a control freak and moved back with family nearby... View more

So I got a message from a friend recently that i haven't seen or heard in years asking if I'm free to chat as she was in a really dark place. I oblige and found out she left a 5 year relationship with a control freak and moved back with family nearby. Her depression and anxiety was rather severe so I ended doing a few all nighters making sure she's alright and thankfully things are slowly on the mend and now we've gone from talking to hanging out where she's staying with future plans to visit places together but now the problems start popping up. Her sister is a big attention seeker so when I visit the jealousy causes arguments to flare up between the two and get nasty to the point that i have to leave which upsets the friend I'm trying to help and reconnecting with so I don't know what to do exactly there. The second is that during the relationship she had a child so there's the ongoing custody with the ex but she does get visitation. Now she's been dropping subtle hints about introducing me to her child and asking if it's ok to bring him along to our planned outings. This feels like a big thing to ask as I'm not a parent myself and not really comfortable being seen as a new dad by the child or other people. Any advice to these issues or did I accidentally dig myself into a bad spot?

UnlikelySituation 13 years of narcissistic abuse from wife
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, It's taken me almost 14 years, however I found out that I've been emotionally abused by my wife for all this time. Things have gotten worse and I really want to get out. The problem is I have no money, I have a chronic illness and have t... View more

Hi everyone, It's taken me almost 14 years, however I found out that I've been emotionally abused by my wife for all this time. Things have gotten worse and I really want to get out. The problem is I have no money, I have a chronic illness and have two young kids. I've tried to see help from a psychologist however they just advised me to get couples counselling and see a lawyer. I really don't want to mess up anything by not preparing or saying the wrong thing to my wife as I don't want to lose my house and kids. It's been an extremely difficult past few months and got to a stage where I didn't even want to live. Please help.

ams019 Can't stand hearing about my new niece
  • replies: 4

My brother's wife gave birth yesterday, and I can't handle seeing the new pictures, and dread having to have the 'congratulations' conversations. The truth is, even though I get on well with my brother and don't have any issues in our relationship, I... View more

My brother's wife gave birth yesterday, and I can't handle seeing the new pictures, and dread having to have the 'congratulations' conversations. The truth is, even though I get on well with my brother and don't have any issues in our relationship, I don't want to see them or hear about how great their life is going. I feel like such a failure in comparison, and it really hurts that yet again, I am being left behind. I don't feel like I have it in me to keep fighting through all the rubbish.

Holi Ignoring his boys
  • replies: 1

Hi guys my ex pretty much has nothing to do with our boys.He has a older son from his first marriage who has 4 kids now and he has spent the last three Christmas with him in a other state.what hurts the most is our son has just been diagnosed with au... View more

Hi guys my ex pretty much has nothing to do with our boys.He has a older son from his first marriage who has 4 kids now and he has spent the last three Christmas with him in a other state.what hurts the most is our son has just been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder 3 months ago and he hasn't ask once what's happening or how he is absolutely nothing.Our son is heartbroken he doesn't say it but I know.And my ex has sent me a email saying the most horrible things about the boys that I thought a father would never say it's just so cruel.Its like a pattern he did this to his Older son at basically the same age.feeling sad angry heartbroken

Tony1111 I need friends
  • replies: 5

Hi im tony 33 i have anxiety and depression im on medication for ive been thro some bad times I was arrested and sent to prison for somthing i didint do. Ive lost my job my wife has left me and is stoping me from see my daughter . I have no friends o... View more

Hi im tony 33 i have anxiety and depression im on medication for ive been thro some bad times I was arrested and sent to prison for somthing i didint do. Ive lost my job my wife has left me and is stoping me from see my daughter . I have no friends or family i dont get out much im bankrupt and cant get loans I dont know wat to do or were to go my life is destroyed

2904 My Boyfriend Hates My Parents
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and he is very supportive. Recently he has told me that he hates my parents and doesn’t want to be involved with them in any way. They are very protective and they just want to help but my boyfriend t... View more

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years and he is very supportive. Recently he has told me that he hates my parents and doesn’t want to be involved with them in any way. They are very protective and they just want to help but my boyfriend thinks that they think we are receiving charity from them and we can’t do anything ourselves. He doesn’t want me to disown my family but he doesn’t want to be a part of their lives either. I don’t know what to do. I have suggested talking to my parents about it to see if we can come to a conclusion but I don’t even know what to say to them

zerofootprint should I buy a cat before or after my mother dies?
  • replies: 3

background 48y male living alone with only one family contact my birth mother who is not ill but i worry about her coughing and this bush file smoke had been very bad and still skies not clear reason for thinking about getting a cat i see them as nar... View more

background 48y male living alone with only one family contact my birth mother who is not ill but i worry about her coughing and this bush file smoke had been very bad and still skies not clear reason for thinking about getting a cat i see them as narcissistic which should remind me of my mother what is wrong with me psychiatrist handed me his card with the word schizotypal written on the back my file is currently being held at the hospital and i take my tablets question though is fairly important to me as my little dog who replaced my last dog is current 10 and i had already decided no more dogs i know a cat wont replace conversation that i have with my mum but i can look into its eyes and go through the motions of talking to it without getting negative reaction i sometimes pray that she will outlive me so i wont feel the loss like i once did when my dad passed away years ago i cant give more than that here

jye99 3 years for nothing....
  • replies: 3

So basically my girlfriend and i were dating for around 3 and half years the relationship was really good but we only had one downfall...distance. we had distance between us for 80% of our relationship we met up a few times here and there but everyth... View more

So basically my girlfriend and i were dating for around 3 and half years the relationship was really good but we only had one downfall...distance. we had distance between us for 80% of our relationship we met up a few times here and there but everything seemed really good we had fights like every normal couple but i felt like these fights she just added them up like a tally every time we argued i felt like i lost a small piece of her nearly every single time after an argument she would almost be a little bit more distant and not her self...anyway things went on pretty normally though we were both happy she told me a week before she left me that she was the happiest she's ever been with me. until something changed one day i woke up i called her before she went to the gym she was super excited that i had called her when she wasn't expecting me too and it was awesome hearing how happy she was....but things changed after that call ended and she went to the gym and called me after but something was off, she sounded dull and different.Hours after this call she all of sudden started to become distant...very distant, one word replies, not replying fast like she usually did, not calling me on her lunch break or when she finished work and sounded really dull when i called her. This continued on for a few days later until she told me after i had asked her is everything okay that she needed her own space and that "its not you its me" she told me she wanted me to focus on my self more instead of always focusing on her and that we needed a break/breakup because she felt like i was "suffocating her" with too much love even though we're on opposite sides of the country, after the breakup i was destroyed i couldn't believe it, it just wasn't like her she just became like a stranger to me she treated me like i was a random person to her, she blocked me on everything but after 1 day i messaged her on instagram just trying to reach out and apologize for whatever i had done and that we could work it out as a couple but wasn't expecting her to reply, but she did. we talked that day and for the rest of the week up until now about work and exercising among other things but talk about our relationship was forbidden. she told me today that "this wasnt what i imagined time to our selves meant" and continued to say that "maybe we should just cut contact for a while" now im 100% all for this but i can't help but feel like shes just saying this so she can move on without me....help

Nelstar I feel trapped
  • replies: 2

I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and have 2 children together. I moved to his home state 10 years ago, after our first son was born as he said it was a safer place to raise children. After 10 years of being here I’m homesick and what makes it w... View more

I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and have 2 children together. I moved to his home state 10 years ago, after our first son was born as he said it was a safer place to raise children. After 10 years of being here I’m homesick and what makes it worse is that all my family live in my home state and we only have his parents here for support. I’ve discussed with husband about wanting to go back to my home state and he flatly refuses to move. I feel like I’m trapped and he won’t even consider my feelings and how lonely I am and how much I miss all my family. My husband does fifo work and has worked away now for almost 8 years in the very state I want to move back too. We pay for flights and accommodation and pay up to $15000 a year for this, which we could be saving if we just moved there. Am I being unreasonable ? Do you think I am being selfish for wanting to do what I want to do considering I’ve done 10 years here ? Really I feel my only options are just continually put up with living here and being lonely or separate from my husband and go through the courts and see what’s the outcome would be with that. I love my kids so much and would never leave them here. Help

Katyonthehamsterwheel Twice the loss
  • replies: 20

I was pregnant and lost my baby. Then two weeks later my partner left. I don't even know how I've held it together since. I don't have anyone. I am estranged from my family and I don't have any friends or a job, because I have bad anxiety. It was my ... View more

I was pregnant and lost my baby. Then two weeks later my partner left. I don't even know how I've held it together since. I don't have anyone. I am estranged from my family and I don't have any friends or a job, because I have bad anxiety. It was my anxiety that drove my partner away. I don't even blame him. But I'm just so sick of being alone. I literally feel sick from loneliness.