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dont know what to do next

Community Member
Last week I seperated from my partner of 5 years, this was his choice, I am completely devastated. I have been researching help on line and all I can find is the No Contact rule- is this the way to go?
63 Replies 63

Hi happy, hoping you can help me, I finding that I am becoming obsessed, thinking about ex- I am spending every minute wondering what he is doing- where he is- I somehow need to stop this, gets worse each day:(

Hello my beautiful friend

urghhhh I hate this obsession too. I’ve been through it and it’s horrible.

What did I do? What do I currently do?

Well in all honesty it sucks and knowing he may be with another woman breaks me in more ways than one. But, I reflect and as much as I want to tell him - I don’t and write this all out in my notes and get it out of my head. I do this to get my feelings out and to distract myself. I also find Pinterest and inspirational quotes helpful. I look on social media too. It took a long time for me to get here.

i hope this helps xx

Community Member

Hi girls

read all your posts. I have been going through all this, exactly what u both wrote. Crying all the time, feeling this dread that he might not return my texts, wanting to save to relationship at any cost. You name it and I will put my hand up that yes I have been so so desperate to b together again, to have that magic back but a big but u cannot force the other person to act or react the way u want. I have been obsessed thinking why it had to end, dissected every conversation. The crux of the story is u alone cannot save it. It can try with all your might but it will end somehow miserably. But I didn’t listen to anyone’s advice and still chased him. So won’t stop u girls. Time will tell, take one day at a time. Both of u sound so sweet and loving, hope it works for both of u

lots of love

Hey maa

thank you for your lovely words & I agree with you completely.

I hope you’re doing ok? I’m getting better but still have the occasional moment x

I’m glad you joined in xx

- happy 😊

Community Member
Thanks Maa, yes you are right, I'm a bit with happy:) working through it all- I feel better today about everything, not sure why. I think I have just been processing everything, and now can rationalize a bit better, see what tomorrow brings!

Community Member

Hey girls

i said all these nasty texts to him a few weeks because I was hurt. I was fine till I was angry and thought he should go to hell, I will figure out something but now my anger has subsided and I feel bad for writing all those harsh words to him, I texted him saying I m sorry. Though he did hurt me but I still feel bad for spilling all that venom. What do u think I should do now. He didn’t text me after I wrote all those nasty texts. Don’t know if he will text after read I m sorry

Community Member

Hi maa,

I think he's probably angry, I can understand why you would send nasty texts, but it probably hasn't helped, If you are sorry perhaps call him and be genuine, and explain that you were hurt?

Hi happy, Just checking in to see how you are going? Hope all is well- no great changes with me, just dealing day to day, I saw him on the weekend, and we had a great time, but he said he needs time and can't make a commitment yet, so that's ok, will give him time 🙂 Shazzy

Hello my beautiful friend

i have been in hospital. I got very sick and had to be hospitalised 😔 I’m on the mend (physically ill). That’s why I have been quiet! I have literally been bed ridden for nearly a week.

I hope you’re ok and let me tell you, from experience, look after yourself and focus and making sure you’re doing things for you xx

I’ll be back later when I’m feeling better xxx I’m thinking of you x

Hello Lovely,

Please take care of yourself xx hope you are on the mend, will chat when you are up to it xx