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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Dale25 So sad and hurt
  • replies: 1

Hi there,i wanted to share my story as I am so so sad and lonely.i was happily married with 2 children.abiut 18 months ago I had an affair with someone younger and fell in love.i left my wife and kids and moved in with my new partner.we were so in lo... View more

Hi there,i wanted to share my story as I am so so sad and lonely.i was happily married with 2 children.abiut 18 months ago I had an affair with someone younger and fell in love.i left my wife and kids and moved in with my new partner.we were so in love and had amazing times.things were going well however the guilt of leaving my wife and kids was overwhelming.about 20 weeks ago I had dinner with my x wife.my new partner totally list it and moved out.our relationship went from so happy to anger and became so nasty.i ve tried for 10 weeks to apologise and ask for forgiveness.dhe had now disappeared and I sm unable to contCt her or find her.i have been to the doctor several times who prescribed anti depressants which I have not taken.ive tried several counselling sessions, even ended up in hospital one night.i drink a lot.I have never felt so hurt and list in my life.i cry everyday.My x wife has been so kind and trying to help me through.it feels like I'll never be happy again and I'm never going to see my partner again.i live get so much but she's gone.im finding it so hard to move firward.i feel so hurt that I left my family to be with my new partner and now she's left me.

Martii Relationship ended out of nowhere and now I feel like a shell of myself
  • replies: 6

Hey everyone, I have not been sure where to turn to with this and just utterly hopeless in what to do. 6 months ago my life was very different - I was living with my boyfriend who I saw a bright and happy future with; naively I thought we would get e... View more

Hey everyone, I have not been sure where to turn to with this and just utterly hopeless in what to do. 6 months ago my life was very different - I was living with my boyfriend who I saw a bright and happy future with; naively I thought we would get engaged - we'd been together for 2 and a half years and basically we thought we'd be together forever until he blindsided me by breaking up with me. I moved out and was a wreck, until he called me and begged for me to come back, so I did. Until he did it again a month later, saying he never wanted to get married, or buy a house, and he wasn't in love with me anymore. I have never felt so betrayed in my life because he never spoke to me about any of this, he never showed any signs or anything that this was coming - there was no demise of the relationship, he just literally walked in the door one day and ended it. My life did a 180 and at 27 I found myself broke, unemployed, and living back at my dads house. I have never felt so low in my life. I threw myself into doing all I could to move forward with my life, I found a job and threw myself into it, started working literally every day, started dating, catching up with all of my friends. I thought I was fine and then suddenly one day it wasn't, and now I feel stuck. I find myself crying every day, struggling to get out of bed. I have no passion for anything anymore, I have no motivation to do anything, and I feel worthless and hopeless - I don't see myself eve being happy again, and I just don't know how to get to that place where I can be. All of my friends are getting engaged and married and are living their lives, and I feel like it just makes me feel worse because I thought that was going to be me soon and it isn't - I want to be happy for them but I can't when I feel like my life has turned to absolute rubbish and I don't know why it has or what I did to deserve it. Essentially I feel like everyone is living, and I am just merely 'existing'. I feel like a zombie walking through life, or that I am in another universe to where all these other people are - there is some kind of invisible barrier between me and everyone else. I feel like the shell of the person I used to be; I feel so lost. Just not really sure what to do anymore and am looking for some kind of advice or insight.

NerNerNer Low self esteem collision (Vent)
  • replies: 10

Hi all, long time no post. I'm just venting about this, not looking for advice or a solution because I've got to figure it out/work directly with my counselor. However that appointment is over a week away, so venting is required. Last night I lost my... View more

Hi all, long time no post. I'm just venting about this, not looking for advice or a solution because I've got to figure it out/work directly with my counselor. However that appointment is over a week away, so venting is required. Last night I lost my temper with my low self esteem housemate over something arbitrary. A back and forth 'I'm right, you're wrong' over ham packaging. It wasn't even MY back and forth, I was doing a job application and listening to it carry on. It was because the low self esteem housemate was, understandably, annoyed that our housemate had mistakenly eaten said ham. Other housemate had bought more, but low self esteem housemate decided that the packaging couldn't possibly be the same format she preferred and, without looking at it, got very snippy and resentful and rejected the offer. After a few minutes of listening to my low self esteem housemate trying to prove herself right when the other housemate was, indeed, factually correct I intervened. I have low self esteem myself and the low self esteem housemate has argued with me like this on several occasions on several topics and I can't stand it when she does it to me. The freaking lengths she goes to try to prove me wrong are just incredible, and when she ends up being proven wrong (often indirectly) more often than not, she sulks and won't look me in the face for days. Listening to her do it to someone else was infuriating. I don't need to be right, but listening to someone who was correct being told they were wrong just cooked my bacon. So, I raised a 'joke' about a manufacturing error with the ham packaging in question so the correct housemate had an excuse to show off the packing and, in sharing the funny error, got to prove who was right and who was wrong. It was one of those packs that have the ham split up into two servings and the manufacturing machine had packed the entire lot into one compartment. The other compartment was sealed but only had a couple of tiny scraps in it. It was seriously 'tee hee lol' when we noticed it, but it certainly wasn't appreciated by the low self esteem housemate. Gawd, what is wrong with me... I didn't need to intervene. Who cares who was right and who was wrong. Now I'm worried that there is going to be more awkwardness and competition. Gaaah.

Troubledmatt I'm ruining my marriage
  • replies: 4

Despite how hard I try, my efforts to remedy my depression are tearing my family apart. I just spent 15 minutes with my wife crying on the laundry floor about how hard I have been to deal with over the past few years. I can't deny this. And that's th... View more

Despite how hard I try, my efforts to remedy my depression are tearing my family apart. I just spent 15 minutes with my wife crying on the laundry floor about how hard I have been to deal with over the past few years. I can't deny this. And that's the kicker. Even though I know I am the problem I still haven't the foggiest how to fix it. I'm seeing a professional but I feel as though I am getting nowhere with it. I'm a disengaged husband and father to a beautiful 18 month old and as I type this I have traps rolling down my face and no idea why his is the case because I would move heaven and earth for them but the one thing I haven't been able to do is make or keep them happy. I honestly feel like a failure and hate that father's day is soon because I believe I don't deserve any praise or affirmation about being a father. It kills me when. I'm crabby, irretable and can't take feed back from my wife. I wear a mask in front of others to keep up appearances which I feel makes things worse when I find anany opportunity to skulk away from the crowd and be away from "it" all. I'm not on here for a poor me response. I'm here to see if this avenue can provide me with that something I'm missing to be the father and husband I want to be.

Molly06 I'm scared my marriage is ending and it's my fault
  • replies: 19

I am not sure where to start except to say I have not felt this sad in a long long time. my husband and I have been married 12 years, we were engaged after 7 months and married 6 months after that. We had trouble falling pregnant and went through 5 r... View more

I am not sure where to start except to say I have not felt this sad in a long long time. my husband and I have been married 12 years, we were engaged after 7 months and married 6 months after that. We had trouble falling pregnant and went through 5 rounds of IVF. We fell pregnant with twins and then at 32 weeks found out that one of our twins had died. They were both born 4 days later. as a result of this I suffered extreme anxiety and depression and went into hospital for 7 weeks for it. My husband was my rock. 2 years later we fell naturally pregnant but had complications and I was put in hospital on complete bed rest from 26 weeks and my child was born at 32 weeks. We moved towns and built a lovely home together and while I have missed close friends I have loved our life together. My husband has always spoilt me, told me how much he loves me and been a wonderful support but I lost my sex drive. We are lucky to have sex once a month and often that's just because I feel bad. Not only have I lost my sex drive but I just don't kiss him for no reason , we do cuddle on the lounge every night which I love and we went away in November last year without the kids and had a great week and sex drive had returned. It's not that I want sex with anyone else I just don't seem to want any. monday night he said that he is tired trying to live in this platonic relationship. We talked about it last night and he said that he isn't about to walk out and that the marriage isn't over but he looks resigned as if it is over and he said he doesn't know what to do to fix it. i suggested some kind of counseling but he can't see how that can help my sex drive. i am so so sad, I don't want to be with anyone else and I can't imagine my life without him in it and I am so scared what it might do to our kids especially my daughter who has started suffering anxiety. i don't feel I can talk to any friends or family about it and I can't talk to him about it ( well I have) but he doesn't have answers. He is the one I go to when I have problems and now he and I are the problem. i just don't know what to do. sorry for the very long post

Aimee_billie Lost marriage and now Losing the love of my life
  • replies: 2

Hi all I separated from my husband and father of my two boys last year. I fell out of love and knew something was missing in my life - most likely self love, but at the time I felt like I needed an emotional connection from him that he wasn't able to... View more

Hi all I separated from my husband and father of my two boys last year. I fell out of love and knew something was missing in my life - most likely self love, but at the time I felt like I needed an emotional connection from him that he wasn't able to give me. Since then I have been seeing a new man. He is amazing. Loves me more than i could imagine a man could. My kids have met him and love him to bits. however early on we had a few bumps around trust which sent me anxiety sky rocketing and I crashed hard. I went to my GP after I started cutting (I am 30!) and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety - although I think I have had it for most kd my life as I've always had a terrible self image. I've had a rough battle with my ex and he has gotten a girl pregnant so now I'm dealing with how to handle that wth my kids. I also had a hard time changing medication and things for bad with my new partner and I and we broke up. But got back together shortly after. problem is now I push him away constantly. One day I am feeling the happiest I have in years... Just hours later something so small happens and I just have a melt down. I break it off, but he fights for me. My anxieties and Insecurities take over and I feel I'd be better off alone and he'd be better off without me. i don't know what to do. Do I fight for him. Do I be alone. Take the time. Fix me. Somehow?!? Or can he be in that journey wth me?

Jorja_ Well meaning family members... Ahhhh.
  • replies: 2

I don't meant to be ungrateful, but does it bother anyone else when their family tells you to just push yourself, just stick it out, don't accept the way you are, don't accept this is all you can be... I really don't mean to be grateful, I know that ... View more

I don't meant to be ungrateful, but does it bother anyone else when their family tells you to just push yourself, just stick it out, don't accept the way you are, don't accept this is all you can be... I really don't mean to be grateful, I know that others have the other side of the spectrum in terms of family members. But it just frustrates me when I try to explain that I know what to do. It isn't a matter of not knowing where the key is, it's a matter of willpower to walk over to it. For me at least, that's kind of what it's like. All I wanted to hear was to focus on my accomplishments and not be discouraged by the bumps in the road. But the focus was all around the bumps on the road, and why I shouldn't do it again. As if I don't know. Argh, just ranting here.

Phnx2405 After 10 years of being single I'm still scared to try and love again.
  • replies: 2

Hi all. This months marks the 10th anniversary of my ex and I breaking up. It's the only relationship i've had. I'm 34 and am utterly petrified to let anybody in. My depression killed my ex and I. Her light that I unfairly relied on extinguished and ... View more

Hi all. This months marks the 10th anniversary of my ex and I breaking up. It's the only relationship i've had. I'm 34 and am utterly petrified to let anybody in. My depression killed my ex and I. Her light that I unfairly relied on extinguished and we collapsed under the weight of the darkness that i brought into the relationship. She knew going in that I had my issue's and to this day i adore her for sticking to it as long as she did. Boy, did it get horrible. By the end I had become very catatonic, theres even a good 9 month stretch I no memory. Just darkness. I don't want to put anyone through that again so i've convinced myself i'm not good enough, not attractive enough, not smart enough, not anything enough to warrant anyone to love me again. That's privately... Publicly everyone around me assumes my standards are too high. Coz thats what i do. I deflect my true fears to hide from their pity. Even when I have, rarely become interested with someone i flat out refuse to do anything about it. To the length where I've had 4, 2.5, and 2 year droughts just for sex. I just don't want to put anyone through that kind of trauma and misery again. I always said my depression is my dark mistress. Maybe she's actually my life partner. I dunno, all I know is I don't want to be alone but i'm frightened to truely open up. Phoenix

Ausko massive self doubt and worth, with new relationship.
  • replies: 2

Getting straight into it. i have been seeing a girl since early March, we are not dating however not by my choice. i am trying to better myself for this girl and for many others in my life, i have noticed that i become obsessed in a sense with my par... View more

Getting straight into it. i have been seeing a girl since early March, we are not dating however not by my choice. i am trying to better myself for this girl and for many others in my life, i have noticed that i become obsessed in a sense with my partners, they become the only person i really want to talk to about anything. i am however constantly feeling as though i am not enough, or on the verge or loosing her and because of this i am finding it hard to even enjoy my time with her even tho thats all i want to do. she doesnt need to see me every day or even every week, and i am used to this happening and when i dont see her i am constantly thinking that she is lying to me or wanting to be away from me beceause she honestly doesnt like me. i know that a big cause of my mentality is that i have been hurt so many times before ( being cheated on and being left for someoene else ) but i honestly dont know how to shake these thoughts and its bringing me down to the point i dont even want to get out of bed. keep in mind its not her fault and i dont blame her. she is a girl used to long distance relationships and she has also come out of a long term relationship like myself but she doesnt want to be labeled.. this is also what gets me all her friends and family know of me and who i am to her but she still doesnt want to commit. is it because i am not good enough for her? i know i might be going on a tangent i sometimes dont really know what im even typing and i dont even know why ive come to this site. but i feel horrible for weeks and i dont want to go to anyone else.

Alove New relationship,my girlfriend sufferes from depression.How can I support her and myself?
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Hi guys I'm new here so I'm try keep it brief. I'm in a gay relationship and have been for about 9 months.im heavily in love with my girlfriend but she has suffered from depression since 16yrs of age.She is now 28 and has been on anti depressants sin... View more

Hi guys I'm new here so I'm try keep it brief. I'm in a gay relationship and have been for about 9 months.im heavily in love with my girlfriend but she has suffered from depression since 16yrs of age.She is now 28 and has been on anti depressants since 16. i guess I'm asking for advice...and the age old question is this common for somone who has depression. i find her at times quite distant,face in her phone,dosent talk to me ect.We live 10mins from each other but she dosent wanna ever see me mid week and hang out.at the beginning of the relationship she was all over me and now...id be lucky to get a kiss hello. And this is starting to affect me,I feel alone in this relationship at times...there is virtually no affection and no intimacy.See I'm normally I pretty super happy goofy person.Sometimes this rubs off on her and things are amazing! But she so withdrawn latley.I try and talk to her she shuts down. what do I do to support her and make sure I stay happy too? I don't want to imagine my life without her despite how sometimes she makes me cry because of how distant she is.