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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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jessembell Uncaring parent & Drug addicted sibling
  • replies: 4

I am a 22 year old uni student currently living at home with my brother and mum. My Dad passed away in 2014 and my drug addicted sister has been staying with us the past couple of nights with my mum letting her despite my brother and I saying no we w... View more

I am a 22 year old uni student currently living at home with my brother and mum. My Dad passed away in 2014 and my drug addicted sister has been staying with us the past couple of nights with my mum letting her despite my brother and I saying no we weren't comfortable with it.Last year my sister told everyone she was addicted to ice (she smokes it) She was hitting it heavy after her boyfriend cheated on her and was always in a psychosis. She didn't live at home at the time and managed to hold on to her job. Recently she was suspended from work (still getting paid) and has been hitting the ice harder. Now her life has been of the rails and has been unable to find a place to live, she's been blacklisted.She's been staying in hotels still smoking ice. A month ago my mum went on a holiday for 3 weeks and during that time my sister kept asking us to let her stay. We refused but let her keep some stuff here. One day she came over to do washing. Later that night we told her to go but said she was waiting for the dryer to finish. 40mins later my brother caught her with a crack pipe (didn't see her smoke it but we both could tell she was high) and subsequently carried her out because she refused to leave.I ended up calling the police when she tried to get through the window. This really upset my brother and I. When mum came back I told her what had happened and said that we didn't want her to move back home. She agreed with us. But on Saturday she did a complete 180 and told us that my sister would be staying with us for a couple of nights because she had no where to go, that she needed to make sure she was safe.We said no to her but she didn't listen and got upset saying she didn't want to deal with it anymore. What really upset me is she justified her decision using my brother and I's personal issues. I have anxiety and need her to drive me places and my brother smokes a bit of pot (He's not a full blown addict like my sister, he has his life under control and can go without it).2 days later I talked about it saying that we weren't comfortable with her here and I didn't feel safe. Her response was that as a mother she need to think of herself, that we were acting like spoilt brats for our refusal to let my sister move back.I ask her where her consideration was for us but her response was the same. It ended with her telling me that if I didn't like it that I could *** off. What do I do, I have no means of moving out and am heading for a breakdown.

Confused_89 Help
  • replies: 6

Hi Im not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. My parent and I have been together for almost two years and we have always had a very happy relationship. We hardly ever fight and just generally have a very good relationship. Las... View more

Hi Im not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. My parent and I have been together for almost two years and we have always had a very happy relationship. We hardly ever fight and just generally have a very good relationship. Last Saturday however he started becoming very distant and me being the typical girl immediately thought the worst. He works away and came home yesterday and we had a chat and he said he feels so empty inside. He feels like he is fighting a war in his head and doesn't know how he can continue to love me when he doesn't love himself. He suggested that we call it quits so that he can Deal with this on his own without dragging me down with him. He said that he can feel himself pushing me away because of this war in his head and that he doesn't see a way out of it. He also said that he can't imagine a life without me yet doesn't think he can be with me. I think my partner suffers from depression and I don't know what to do. Do I stay or leave like wants? I think once he talks to someone we can work through this. We both don't want this to be the end but don't know where to go next

Last_weeks_hero Recently single, struggling with acceptance, afraid of loneliness.
  • replies: 6

Hi, I haven't done this before but I'm at a point where I don't know who to reach out to. A couple of months ago my girlfriend of two years left me. She called me in the morning and said that she thought we should break up, she said she needed to be ... View more

Hi, I haven't done this before but I'm at a point where I don't know who to reach out to. A couple of months ago my girlfriend of two years left me. She called me in the morning and said that she thought we should break up, she said she needed to be by herself. I hung up not really knowing how to take it and had no option but to go to university and study for a test that I had that afternoon (which I failed horrendously because I wasn't able to take my mind off her). I tried a few times in the following weeks to convince her that we could work on it, and that I was willing to do anything to make her happy. Nothing worked, she mostly just kept repeating that she wanted to be by herself. Never really giving me a reason for why we didn't work. And never explicitly saying that she didn't want to be with me, just that she needed to be alone. But one thing she said has stuck with me - "I just can't handle the negativity". I have been feeling an overwhelming sense of loneliness since. A real fear that I will never find anyone that I can form that sort of strong connection with. Why would anyone want to be with me when I'm so negative? It feels like a compounding problem, the more I think about it the sadder I get, and the sadder I get the less attractive I am to others. I can't stop thinking about her and how happy we could be if I'd just gotten a grip of my negative thinking. I've been running a lot since the breakup. I thought it would help. I've lost nearly 10 kilos thinking it would make me feel more confident, but it hasn't really made me feel better at all. Deep down I think the motivation was more to make her see what she is missing out on rather than doing it for myself. I have tried talking to a couple of my friends but I haven't really spoken to anyone yet that understands how I'm feeling. I don't want to try talking to them again because I'm afraid of becoming 'that friend' that's always complaining. My thought processes have been getting progressively darker. I was under the impression that after a couple of months I might have started to move on, but if anything it's much worse. It's seriously affecting my motivation, and I'm at a pretty critical point in the transition from uni to a career so I'm afraid of the potentially significant effects it could have on my future. I don't feel confident that I'll ever meet anyone else and I genuinely don't know what to do to make myself feel better. Any advice would be much appreciated

worried_broken Ex GF suffers from pretty bad Depression and Anxiety
  • replies: 8

Hi Everyone, Im struggling with dealing with my ex pushing me away and then final then she needed space which tunred into broken up. While its been short it was intense, in the 3 serious relationships ive had(11.5 years total). I have never felt so s... View more

Hi Everyone, Im struggling with dealing with my ex pushing me away and then final then she needed space which tunred into broken up. While its been short it was intense, in the 3 serious relationships ive had(11.5 years total). I have never felt so sure about someone, this is the girl i want to grow old with. She has bad depression and anxiety. Very bad breakup/ex/emotional abuse/and i think he cheated on her (12+ months before) This is eating me. Firstly I suffer from anxiety brought out by quitting marijuana after 17 years of smoking it. Which if iget myself in a state theblack dog will say mate. Qutiting weed hardest thing I have ever done. I saw a doctor, worked thru it all and got back to happy me. Now fast forward a few months, I started talking with a girl id meet online. We instantly clicked (I had spoken with a few other girls but no spark, boring conversation. We instantly hit it off. That went back and forth for a week. I asked her out, we met up. And chatted for 6 hours over beers (she loves her beer). Thats how much we where into the conversation to the point we kind of snapped out of it and the place was empty. We left it was raining outside. Both said we had a lovely time and it was great we both weren’t some creepy lying weirdo. We both stood there nervous as hell, we shard our first kiss. It just felt right. We messaged each other back and forth two days after. It just came so easy, natural. Our only difference was is a big Heavy Metal fan and I’m a Hip Hop fan. But I also own a bit of metal as she did hip hop records. We both collect records. She invited me to a hip hop show. We had a ball. She stayed at my house that night. Yes I know this is quick. We hung all day. The messaging/phone calls didn’t stop. We hung a few times a week. Around a month into seeing each other we talked about what we were both after. We both said relationship, her first. She also brought up she didn’t want to be a booty call, rebound. I think he cheated on her and a few friends new and didn’t tell her. She had to quit her job, move back to the city. Said she suffered depression/anxiety. I told her the same thing; I told her I was cheated on. I was falling for this girl big time as she seemed as well. It came so easy, we talked about everything. One night she says ive fallen for you big time, I say the same thing.

PJ93 Post BPD Breakup Help
  • replies: 3

I am really thankful for any advice from anyone who may have been through the same experience. Since the beginning of the year i was in a relationship with a girl with BPD. I didn't know this until a few months into the relationship when serious issu... View more

I am really thankful for any advice from anyone who may have been through the same experience. Since the beginning of the year i was in a relationship with a girl with BPD. I didn't know this until a few months into the relationship when serious issues arose. To keep this short and concise, she came into my life and showered me with an affection that no one else had. From the second i would wake up to when i went to bed there was a constant talk and affection. This drew me in like nothing before. It was something i was longing for in myself for various reasons which i have now identified. However this led to the disconnection from my friends and family ... My life became her and the constant drama and chaos that came with it. Before me her life was very unstable, she had one prior relationship, abused alcohol and drugs at various points, Would either be out or sleeping for days on end, various traumatic emotional experiences including at one point escorting in her teens (Which i only found out when i broke it off for the last time) She had multiple personalities and various negative traits. She would constantly lie, Manipulate, Very impulsive and try to keep me in her life at all costs. This led to absolutely no trust on my end which of course would lead to a break down in the relationship. I am vary aware without trust, a relationship cannot survive. After getting support, i ended the relationship for the final time. she fully understood why, because now im mentally ill, her negative traits have rubbed of on me. Now instead of being the strong confident happy person i was before meeting her, im an unhappy, insecure depressed wreck seeking help here from anyone. She is constantly finding ways to message me to tell me how much she loves and wants me back even after swearing to not contact me so i can find help. This is only making it harder for me. I am trying to educate myself on how BPD suffers work but not much is helping. Recently a girl from my past has entered me life who will give me an amazing life, future and her family sees me as their second son. Someone i used to be dearly in love with. But with the constant struggle in my head, the infectious thoughts of the BPD relationship have poisoned any chance with this person and will continue until i get help. I honestly can not fathom emotions for anyone until i can resolve this. I know the path that will lead me to the future i want, but how do correct and remove the BPD from my life?

Friendzle Dealing with infidelity and more
  • replies: 16

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years. At the start of the year we took a break after I found out that he'd cheated on me whilst working away for 2 months in India. We both dated other people, but he came to me promising me everyrh... View more

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years. At the start of the year we took a break after I found out that he'd cheated on me whilst working away for 2 months in India. We both dated other people, but he came to me promising me everyrhing I wanted if we got back together. It took a couple of months of persuasion, and we got back together in june. My BF recently went to a weekend festival and made friends with a group of girls. When he came home again it felt exactly like when he returned from India. He's constantly glued to his phone chatting away to these girls. Its making me feel so insecure that he can no longer just sit with me and enjoy my company. Hes always on his phone or accidently running into them out in the city. I've voiced my concerns, but his opinion is that theres nothing going on and theres nothing wrong with our relationship. Hes totally changed. Hes so distant with me now that its making me miserable and I dont know how to fix us. I bought a house in the last month, so money is tight for me. I almost feel like hes using it against me because he invites me to join them out in the city when he knows I absolutely cant afford it.

sagelovet How to deal with a parent who has depression?
  • replies: 2

One of my parents has depression however my family only assume this because of the way they act. They are very quiet, sad, get angry easily, say bad things about people, unsociable etc. Sometimes this can get very frustrating as some of their actions... View more

One of my parents has depression however my family only assume this because of the way they act. They are very quiet, sad, get angry easily, say bad things about people, unsociable etc. Sometimes this can get very frustrating as some of their actions affects how my family works. If they are angry, everyone gets angry. Sometimes they are very unreasonable and my other parent doesn't like to say much as they like to keep peace but when they do speak, there is so much tension between the two of them and I feel like they would spilt if it wasn't for us kids... If we said anything to them about them having depression they would be very angry with us. They would not like to think they do and I think that's maybe why they're having such a hard time dealing with it. thanks for listening and any advice on how to deal with this would be great

Katey_A I need advice please
  • replies: 4

Hi, I believe I'm living with a narcissist. I more or less have a question because I don't know what else to do.. has anyone here ever reported their partner to the police for mental abuse? If so what was the process and what was the end result? I'm ... View more

Hi, I believe I'm living with a narcissist. I more or less have a question because I don't know what else to do.. has anyone here ever reported their partner to the police for mental abuse? If so what was the process and what was the end result? I'm desperate.! I feel so stuck and alone it's petrifying! I've been wanting to write here for a long time but I've been so worried he would somehow find it.. any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou so much

Trishizle Is is me or my head?
  • replies: 2

Hi All, okay, this is long so bear with me but it’s just been weeks and I feel that I am getting worse. As background, I have been on antidepressants for a few years as I tend to get stuck on a thought about something that I regret doing or something... View more

Hi All, okay, this is long so bear with me but it’s just been weeks and I feel that I am getting worse. As background, I have been on antidepressants for a few years as I tend to get stuck on a thought about something that I regret doing or something that I feel I done wrong and I can’t get it out of my mind for long periods of time even when my family/friends tell me it’s okay and not a big deal. A year ago, I started to date a really amazing guy that I’m still with and when I told my best male friend (who I was very close with and had kissed and liked romantically off and on but it never went beyond that and when I suggested to date just to get out of our system he refused which was fine and he knew towards the end I didn’t like him that way anymore) he absolutely lost it, threatened to hurt my boyfriend (who he had been friends with), was sitting in my room crying about it (my mum and him were close), said he couldn’t eat etc. I felt awful and still tried to be his friend. I feel so guilty now that I was still friends with him after and I start to worry whether I acted appropriately where I start thinking things such as “did I kiss him on the cheek?” after we made up as friends after his freak out. I don’t think I did at all and if I did it was just an affection thing not a romantic thing at all but I can’t get the thought out of my head that I did and it makes me worry that I’m a cheater even though I know I’m not and everyone tells me its okay (including my boyfriend). I also then started worrying that I had hugged him when we were okay and I feel like I cheated when I done that too and I just worry and worry and I can’t get it out of my mind that I should not have done that and that I’m a bad person. I just feel like crying all the time and I feel so sick. I wish I could just talk to my old best male friend about it but I have found out that he has been telling lies about me and has twisted stuff (e.g me lending him some cash which he took as “she still likes me” even though it was just cash and telling ppl he doesn’t even know well that I said ‘he is the best kisser ever’) and my closest friends say he definitely had some narcissistic traits so I know if I ask him he will probably say something to make himself feel better which wasn’t necessarily true. I just feel like I’m going crazy and wish I could stop thinking this much , am I feeling this bad because I did something bad or is it my depression that I can’t get this thought out of my head?

Rgreen Gambling loop
  • replies: 1

For the most part I hold myself together. Divorced, two teenage kids, all is well. But I can't defeat the secret gambling that seems to break apart any good I do for myself mentally. Why do I need to break it? I have the money, and I throw it away, a... View more

For the most part I hold myself together. Divorced, two teenage kids, all is well. But I can't defeat the secret gambling that seems to break apart any good I do for myself mentally. Why do I need to break it? I have the money, and I throw it away, and I feel ridiculous. If I just saved half my money, I would be fine! So I know I have a problem! Tried talking to someone, helped for a bit, but I am tearing what little sane self I have apart.