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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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mechanical_animal Best friend doesn't want to be friends anymore
  • replies: 7

Hey I recently got into a situation where my best friend and I stopped being friends. My girlfriend and I where going through a very rough time and well I developed feelings for another girl who just happened to be my best friend. I told my girlfrien... View more

Hey I recently got into a situation where my best friend and I stopped being friends. My girlfriend and I where going through a very rough time and well I developed feelings for another girl who just happened to be my best friend. I told my girlfriend and my best friend about it. My girlfriend wasn't all that upset about it. I think because I never acted on it helped in that area. Where as my best friend pretty much abonandoned us. Once my girlfriend and I finally sorted all our issues out we both decided that the other girl could be friends again with us. I managed to speak to the other girl. At first she was all for trying to fix everything between us. Then a few weeks later. Changes her tune and doesn't want to know me anymore. It's really upset me and my girlfriend thinks she is an ahole now because of it. I would love to maybe speak to her again but I think I need to get over her and the thought of us being friends again. I just feel she is just going to keep hurting me. Mentally at this stage. I ain't there yet to deal with this

Blue_Babe Hello! I'm NOT the Invisible Sister!
  • replies: 4

I understand life is busy. Everyone is juggling work & family commitments and is time poor. I guess I just feel that most of the time I don't matter as much to my siblings as they matter to me. This affects me more than they all know. I try to get on... View more

I understand life is busy. Everyone is juggling work & family commitments and is time poor. I guess I just feel that most of the time I don't matter as much to my siblings as they matter to me. This affects me more than they all know. I try to get on with my life (with my Husband) as best as I can however I still struggle with not having the quality time with my Brothers & Sister & their families that I'd love to have..I identify as Indigenous..and as all indigenous families know..FAMILY IS EVERYTHING! It is the fundamental aspect of our lives. It makes me extremely sad when I think about my family. The fact that they never visit. If I want to see them I have to go to their place. It's all one-sided and to be totally honest it hurts my heart immensely. Last weekend my Husband & I were invited to our friends for a BBQ and I had a melt-down. I'd been holding it in for far too long. It was embarrassing however..to my surprise I got their utmost respect and support. It makes me sad to think that our close friends are more supportive than my own Family. The advice that I got from our friends was that maybe I need to distance myself and back off a little from my family. I'm unsure whether this was the right advice or not. I have and always will be the most family-oriented person of the 5 of us and it is difficult for me to actually become disconnected from them. We no longer have our parents around and I don't have any children of my own..and so this makes it even more difficult for me to deal with. I just feel that sometimes I don't matter to them. It's not nice when you start feeling irrelevant. I would welcome any advice on this subject. Please share your thoughts. Much appreciated. Sincerely..Blue Babe.

smileyk Parents want to help
  • replies: 3

I'm having a depression episode and have recently moved back to my home town but I'm finding it hard to explain or open up to my parents as their responses lately have been not helpful. reactions like "everything will look brighter tomorrow " or "wha... View more

I'm having a depression episode and have recently moved back to my home town but I'm finding it hard to explain or open up to my parents as their responses lately have been not helpful. reactions like "everything will look brighter tomorrow " or "whats the matter now!" are becoming hurtful. I would like advice on how to help them understand and support me in a healthy way. I know they love me and want to help.

Murcho Sick Sister
  • replies: 2

Hullo. My first post so I'll try and keep it pretty brief. No spring chicken, I was born in 1942 with my half sister arriving some fifteen years later.My dad died on the Burma Rd and I was raised by my Mum and grandmother. What a couple of kooks they... View more

Hullo. My first post so I'll try and keep it pretty brief. No spring chicken, I was born in 1942 with my half sister arriving some fifteen years later.My dad died on the Burma Rd and I was raised by my Mum and grandmother. What a couple of kooks they were.Mum survived on medication and Nana just suffered on with acute anxiety neurosis and acute arthritus.Rellies and friends were very sparse as was any sane family unity. It will suffice to say that our comission house was looked on as the local loonie bin. People can be very cruel and as a kid I recall gaining some credence in claiming that my grandmother was a witch. I remember a young girl once saying "he hasn't even got a father." Needless to say I grew up troubled, socially inadequate, intensely shy, and seeking a means to live. At round sixteen I was living in doss houses, drin king and near to my first consumption of drugs, an event of fortunate brevity as it scared the Hell out of me. Oh yes round this time mum had a "love child". Alcohol, numerous dead end jobs, blatant sexual promiscuity, led to my first marriage and divorce after a year. More drink, affairs, and then a de facto relationship with a married alcoholic in my thirties.( While this is all going on my half sister and mother are involved in continuing craziness and co dependency.) Anyhow afer a few years of de facto mayhem etc I decided to move out, stop the booze, and was given medication to calm me down (lol) hardly a worthy antidote and I was on the medication for over thirty years. Back to my half sister, who, to my knowledge lives as a recluse still currently taking mega doses of medication to sleep and driving me mad with highly disturbing letters and demands for help. This is paticularly annoying as she wont answer the door or phone. Mum lived into her nineties and may well have been the world's oldest doctor shopper. Bad stuff doesn't always kill you fast. I'm re married, over thirty years, managed to get a degeee, a book published, (shonky publisher) still into gym work at 75, something that may well have saved me, AA to some extent and NA. along with a lot of self help books and philsophy so it's no longer all gloom and doom. I enjoy the footy too! Still those letters and knowledge of the situation gets me really down at times. Life goes on and we can learn heaps from the bas stuff too, if we realy apply ourselves. It can take a damn long time though! Good to get that off my chest......

Jilted Heartbroken by same Libra man twice
  • replies: 13

Hi everyone. How do I get over a second rejection from a man I've been in love with for 15 years? 15 years ago he was seperated from his wife, we were passionately involved, and he asked me to marry him. I was so excited. But, he couldn't go through ... View more

Hi everyone. How do I get over a second rejection from a man I've been in love with for 15 years? 15 years ago he was seperated from his wife, we were passionately involved, and he asked me to marry him. I was so excited. But, he couldn't go through with it and went back to his wife for the sake of his son. Fast forward to the last year - he is now divorced. I went crazy, thinking I could rekindle our love and pick up where we left off, and although he still has feelings for me, he doesn't want a relationship. And he says he has feelings for a number of others. We have been intimate again and I thought this was the start, but when I asked if there was a future for us, he shut me down. I'm devastated all over again. How do I move on and stop thinking about him every minute of the day? How do I accept that we will never be together?

NotRealNameOfCourse Mental health at rock bottom, how to address falling out with only close friends now?
  • replies: 7

I guess I'll start with a bit of a backstory on myself to set the picture: I'm at an all time low right now, on the verge of just giving up after gritting my teeth for years. Have had PTSD since I was a child (27 now), but only recently diagnosed as ... View more

I guess I'll start with a bit of a backstory on myself to set the picture: I'm at an all time low right now, on the verge of just giving up after gritting my teeth for years. Have had PTSD since I was a child (27 now), but only recently diagnosed as such (always been depression/anxiety diagnosis). None of the 10+ anti-depressants I've been put on have had any real effect, so am now on a ketamine trial. Doesn't seem to be helping but haven't started a consistent daily dose yet either. The scenario: Broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years last June, but stayed living together with her and her sister. We stayed close friends, despite her emotional abuse and manipulation tactics during the relationship. However in February, the sister went on holiday to their home country, and during that time my ex girlfriend started acting really cold and would leave the house for 5~ hours after work each day. Used to be really warm and touchy (pinching, playful wrestling etc). I just assumed she had a new bf and was too shy or didn't want to hurt me to tell me about it. Sister returns about 3 weeks ago. She too is now cold despite having the same close friendship up until that point. I make a joke, literally word for word the same sort of "shit-giving" joke we have had back and forth in the past. She instantly became angry and resentful over it, then started ignoring me for a week. After that week the same thing happened again on Friday with a different joke (an even lighter one, that again, we had used in the past), and her sister followed suit with the ignoring. I have no idea why they have both become cold and overly-sensitive all of a sudden. There was no changes in my behaviour, no changes in medication (wasn't even on anything at the time, and ketamine trial hadn't started yet), but they insisted I changed and those jokes were "not funny" and never had been said before. They have now deleted me on Facebook and had their family delete me as well. I had a good relationship with their brother-in-law, but he also removed me. They told me we are not friends anymore and that they want to buy me out of the house so I can disappear from their lives. The problem: It's driving me insane not understanding why this has changed. I can't think of any rational reason for this 180 reversal in relationship other than they want to distance me to bring a new bf into their family? They were my only 2 friends, so now I just have ketamine to help me forget my life. What is this?

Guest_3072 SINGLE ON VALENTINES DAY
  • replies: 8

Hey everyone, What are your guys opinions about Valentines Day? What do you think would be good things to do on Valentines Day if you're single and most people in your social circle and family are partnered up? Just looking for ideas ahead of time. G... View more

Hey everyone, What are your guys opinions about Valentines Day? What do you think would be good things to do on Valentines Day if you're single and most people in your social circle and family are partnered up? Just looking for ideas ahead of time. Gabby

Kate9 I think my boyfriend has depression and it's causing our relationship to fall apart... How can I help him through this??
  • replies: 3

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. in the past couple of months, he's been acting distant and angry at the world. i ask him how he's feeling but he doesn't know what to say. He says he just feels numb, and he's falling... View more

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. in the past couple of months, he's been acting distant and angry at the world. i ask him how he's feeling but he doesn't know what to say. He says he just feels numb, and he's falling out of love with everything in his life (including me). I'm heartbroken and I just want to help him. He says he is fighting for our relationship and says he's just going through a lapse. I think that he needs some professional help, but I don't know how to tell him. He acts as if everything is okay. He is tired all of the time and overcommits himself, and I don't know what to do.I'm so upset because I love him and I just want to see him happy, but I'm afraid that that means the end of our relationship. How can I be there for him even though he's falling out of love with me? Thank you x

sarahboo Narcissistic Personality Disorder .... what do i do?
  • replies: 14

Im new here so please be nice I think my partner has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We have been together for 3 years and got engaged last Christmas. I thought i could finally feel secure in our relationship. But he goes through these bouts of "f... View more

Im new here so please be nice I think my partner has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. We have been together for 3 years and got engaged last Christmas. I thought i could finally feel secure in our relationship. But he goes through these bouts of "freaking out". All of a sudden hes not happy, nothing will ever truly make him happy, and he starts to question everything. He shuts down, refuses to talk to me, pushes me away and makes me feel worthless. Usually during these episodes he breaks up with me and a few days later we get back together as if nothing has happened. But this time its different, we're engaged, things have changed.... we are meant to be moving in together in a few months (with my son, not his father) and i don't know if i can keep putting myself and my son through this. I don't know what to do. Has anyone else been in a relationship with someone who might have NPD? can it work? is there any hope of getting through all this with the man i love? My self esteem is at an all time low, I've lost my sense of self in this relationship. I try to explain to him how I'm feeling and how what he does affects me and my son and he just gets defensive and nasty. I love this man, I have fought so hard for this relationship, we have planned a future, we've made so much progress.... but was it all a lie? is it all fake? was it doomed from the very start? I don't know what to do. Have you loved someone with NPD and its worked out? Any help would be very much appreciated. -Thank you.

nogo17 help needed my husband is hiding alcohol
  • replies: 24

Ive posted recently as i have just realised my husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He is in denile and now ive confronted him this week boy has thing's changed! Now he is hiding alcohol somewhere!! Taking beer bottles to the dump with the dump r... View more

Ive posted recently as i have just realised my husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He is in denile and now ive confronted him this week boy has thing's changed! Now he is hiding alcohol somewhere!! Taking beer bottles to the dump with the dump run; and my 12 year daughter saw him putting bottles in the next door neighbours bin!while i was at work I cant track anything now i dont know how i feel as i was needing that visual reassurance to help me stay sane!! When i confronted him about his drinking he just laughed in my face.. where else do they hide alcohol?? Or do I give up looking now?? Please help im soooo stressed out