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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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cleo1988 Lonely, lost and in need of some help
  • replies: 36

Hello. I need some help. I live interstate, all my family live in Sydney. I have two friends here, one of which is having a baby and at times i feel used by her. I am in a job which i find isolating and because i travel so much, i have found it very ... View more

Hello. I need some help. I live interstate, all my family live in Sydney. I have two friends here, one of which is having a baby and at times i feel used by her. I am in a job which i find isolating and because i travel so much, i have found it very difficult to make friends and find a solid ground in Perth. I need to make changes in my life - and I am aware of this... I am in a relationship with a man who is 13 years my senior, we have been together for about 9 months. I know he loves me, and has told me a million times he would marry me. I want these things so badly too - just not with him. He has made me feel like he is all i have, and although i have removed myself from him many times he always finds a way back in…perhaps because i feel like he is all i have. When he calls or asks me to do something - i say yes and let him back in. I think he manipulates my kind heartedness and my caring nature. He has turned up at my work a few times unannounced, has turned up at my house, one time made me feel like he would hurt me yet makes me feel happy when i am with him because i have someone to be with and hang out with. I was at dinner with him the other night, and a few of his friends were there, and i looked around and felt sad because i thought this is not my life. This is not me and i cannot be around older men .. 50 + for the rest of my life. He has not helped me in Perth with finding friends, and has not introduced me to anyone or anything here. I feel increasingly isolated and alone. When family or friends come to visit me he is unhappy about this and makes me feel guilty for spending time with anyone other than himself. I need help to find myself again,i have lost my spark and my light. No one understands and i feel like i have nothing. my thoughts are irrational, i know I am so lucky and blessed and i need to let him go but i am scared. Any thoughts and advice i would love.x

GemAndLogan Partner facing jail
  • replies: 13

Hi all, My partner struggled with an ice addiction for about a year and a half. He is now clean and has been for around 6 months, he's doing really well now and I'm proud of him. However he is still dealing with the mistakes he made while using the d... View more

Hi all, My partner struggled with an ice addiction for about a year and a half. He is now clean and has been for around 6 months, he's doing really well now and I'm proud of him. However he is still dealing with the mistakes he made while using the drug which included some illegal activities and almost destroying our relationship by being unfaithful. We have managed to work through everything and are in a good place but the legal ramifications are ongoing. He may be facing jail and we are both terrified. I wish the judge could just see he is a good person who made a mistake, he pays for that mistake every day and will never go back. I understand that there are consequences to all actions but i think jail will be a backwards step. I'm really stressed out about it and cant imagine what i'll do if he does go. Has anyone ever been in this situation before?

nogo17 Questions : alcoholic husband
  • replies: 1

Needing some feedback please lovely beyond blue family. Ok so husband was kicked out 4 weeks ago due to alcoholism.. (Not technically kicked out but I did see a lawyer about my rights as alcoholism is destroying our family) 4 kids... Is an alcoholic ... View more

Needing some feedback please lovely beyond blue family. Ok so husband was kicked out 4 weeks ago due to alcoholism.. (Not technically kicked out but I did see a lawyer about my rights as alcoholism is destroying our family) 4 kids... Is an alcoholic by every meaning of the word- lying, borrowing money, debt, hiding alcohol, taking empty bottles away, isolating family, etc.. I guess the tough love of taking things away from him so he will go to rehab and get help has not worked. So his gone, and I'm left with everything! But the house is happier in most ways. 1. The chance of him getting help is un likely. (Doesn't think he has a problem) Do you just move on with your life like they are never coming back? I feel Like we are waiting for something positive to happen) but for him he is drinking just as much if not more... 2. I do work- but should I seek some child support to help with kids? 3. In the alcoholic mind- do they even care or miss their children at all... Do they even come as a thought?. 4. He has had no contact since he left- where we just an interference with his drinking? 5. all his belonging are still here ( should I pack them away) he walked out with 2 sets of clothes, toiletries, and a TV) that's it.. 6. Should I try to contact him? Or is that enabling? 7. Is it normal to be angry and resentful? I dislike him as his choices and bahaviour has left myself and the kids struggling everyday.. Thankyou in advance!

Trixta Seperating after 20 years of marriage
  • replies: 10

Hello, Havebeen with my wife for 20 years,this year was to be our 17th anniversary, we have 2 beautiful children one 19 and the youngest 15, I work away fifo, 11 days on 3 off, I thought we were travelling fine, left home monday afternoon for work, g... View more

Hello, Havebeen with my wife for 20 years,this year was to be our 17th anniversary, we have 2 beautiful children one 19 and the youngest 15, I work away fifo, 11 days on 3 off, I thought we were travelling fine, left home monday afternoon for work, great day excellent morning with the wife before I left, I recieved a phone call tuesday afternoon from a close friend saying he saw the wife going to the airport, I rang her 4btimes no answer, 5th answers lies to me after I asked what she was doing as I could hear her on Bluetooth, she was pick8ng up her mother whomhad flown in from nz, 2 hours later I get a message, I'm sorry, I ask for what, I'm sorry, I finally get through on the phone, I get, I can't do this anymore, I don't know who I am, I can't make any decisions, I love you and care for you but that isn't enough, I fly home jext morning and get the same answers, I love her so much, she works, I call her during the day, I ask whos in the office as I can hear other voices, I know all the staff my wife works with and I ask and ask her to say hello for me, he thinks im not trusting and checking up, now taking my son tomnz with her

Miss_Anxious Porn addiction and the isolated partner!
  • replies: 12

Hi, My partner struggles with porn addiction, we have discussed this and it always resurfaces. It's how he deals with stress and 'has nothing to do with me' but I can't help feel it is dividing us. I he asked him to talk to me if he has worries but h... View more

Hi, My partner struggles with porn addiction, we have discussed this and it always resurfaces. It's how he deals with stress and 'has nothing to do with me' but I can't help feel it is dividing us. I he asked him to talk to me if he has worries but he never does. I feel as though I'm losing it. Does anyone have any advice?

Leigh_17 Just don't fit in but husband does
  • replies: 4

My husband is a very sociable person everybody likes him. And now he has made some new friends and the wife is everything I'm not, she's smart, travels a lot for her job, very sociable and funny and nice etc etc, I have heard from my whole family how... View more

My husband is a very sociable person everybody likes him. And now he has made some new friends and the wife is everything I'm not, she's smart, travels a lot for her job, very sociable and funny and nice etc etc, I have heard from my whole family how wonderful she is, and now I have to go and have dinner with them. I know it's not a big deal to most people but I feel like I would rather die then go to dinner, but if I don't go, my husband would resent me he already does and blames me for our lack of social life. It's easier just to die sometimes.

chan stressed and overwhelmed mum
  • replies: 2

Hi im a mum and im beyond stressed ill give you a bit of a background into my mental health history and then bring you up to speed about what is almost tipping me over the edge of insanity now. i have suffered from depression, PTSD, PND and anxiety d... View more

Hi im a mum and im beyond stressed ill give you a bit of a background into my mental health history and then bring you up to speed about what is almost tipping me over the edge of insanity now. i have suffered from depression, PTSD, PND and anxiety due to multiple things happening in my life. fast forward to the brith of my first son lets call him j. it was a traumatic pregnancy as i was told there would be something wrong with my child (microdeletion of chromosomes) and was given the option to still abort at 18 weeks! i was mortified. but chose to continue with the pregnancy, and after a painstaking and stressful 43 hour labour i got j. i ended up with PND. treated and councelled, for about a year until symptoms subsided. J was BF until 8 Months and developed normally, reaching all milestones early, his behaviour was normal until he hit about 1.5 years. Now j is almost 4 and although highly intelligent he has some serious behavioural issues which im am finding overwhelming and sending me into daily panic attacks or crying in my room. he will sceam, hit, bite, cry and break things when he dosnt get his own way. Demands things of me ' i want my breakfast ,NOW' is how i am woken every morning. he hits his younger brother (whos is a so different to j) all the time. no form of punishment or discipline seems to work! i cant go out in public due to his meltdowns, and dont want to go to anyones house as im constantly appologising for his behavious! he is angry and rude all the time and i feel so isolated. i have changed his diet and am in the process of a behavioural assessment thru the RCH, but i feel like im going insane in the mean time. his father (my husband) dosnt think there is anything wrong with him and its all me overreacting (which im not multiple people see that j is out of control) so i have no support from him, i send him to daycare 1 day a week as that all we can afford. but i feel as if i have lost control of everything in my life all because of j. i am finding myself starting to resent him and questioning if i made the right decision not to abort him, which is a horrible thing for a mother to question. i mother shoud love her children unconditionally but when he is always acting up its hard to see the good in him at all. im at my whitts end to see the good in my own child and its bringing me to tears. i find myself wanting to spend less time with j as his so horrible to be around the last 2.5 years.

fox81 Separated recently
  • replies: 6

Hi, I'm not sure how to do this since I've never really shared but I know I need to in order to heal. I moved with my family just over a year ago to support my wife's family with health issues. We've been married ten years and she's my best friend bu... View more

Hi, I'm not sure how to do this since I've never really shared but I know I need to in order to heal. I moved with my family just over a year ago to support my wife's family with health issues. We've been married ten years and she's my best friend but somewhere along the way we've become just that. Just friends. We have four beautiful children who mean the world to us and they were at the forefront of our decision. We felt we owed them to show them the importance of happiness by separating. We had begun to grow apart. Arguing about silly things. Going to bed separately, often angry and waking up with nothing resolved. Our communication broke down to when we had to and even then we'd rarely agree. We seemed to be getting further apart. I spent my time looking for distractions in sports while she spent hers wrapping herself in her family's business. We were seeing less and less of each other and getting further away. We blew up into a big fight one day which eventuated in us asking what are we doing here? We decided to try some time apart and I moved out early this year. I see my kids plenty. My wife and I seem to be able to be happier around one another but it barely seems real. I miss her so badly but she seems so far away now. I struggle to be near her because my soul aches without her but I know how unhappy she was when we were together. I don't have any real friends. I had a lot of buddies but nobody I feel like I can share my feelings with. Not honestly. I feel so lonely and that's about the only thing I feel now. I have no dad. My mother is to involved in her own world to listen and my sister is an apple not so far from that tree. I have nobody apart from my amazing kids and this is no burden to share with them. I guess I'm looking for advice. What to do next. I find it difficult to share because I've never done it. Just bottled things up all along because it made it easier on everyone around me but I can't keep doing that. I need some help. Thanks for reading.

Looshy the cause of my depression and what to do?!
  • replies: 4

So i dont want to get into too much detail so ill try my best to keep it short. I am a 34 year old married man with a 4 year old boy and 6 month old twins. 3 year ago i had was under fair amount of pressure with in job which resulted in a terrible me... View more

So i dont want to get into too much detail so ill try my best to keep it short. I am a 34 year old married man with a 4 year old boy and 6 month old twins. 3 year ago i had was under fair amount of pressure with in job which resulted in a terrible mental break down i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. it resulted with me seeing 2 doctor's a therapist and i ridiculous amount of medication. I was determined to get better and worked real hard on doing so not for me but for my wife and kids. I faced a few issues that i had been avoiding which hellped with my recovery and i did come out of it a better version of who i was. I stop my medication about a year ago (which was horrible to go through) and stoped seeing my therapist, like i said i have 3 kids and a career. What i learnt though was how to identify what makes me anxious and or depressed. And the cause of all my depression even prior to my melt down is my mum and sister, they are just terrible for my mental health and creat a toxic environment that leaves mentally exhausted. Do i just not vist and leave when they come to see the kids? Which is a different kind of stress all together? Do i confront them and cause an argument and divisions between the rest of my siblings and dad? Im at a loss... and feel like im slowly sinking to were i was 3 years ago

Matt13 Depressed and Alone
  • replies: 1

Going through a tough time at the moment back on 5/2/17 my 10-year relationship was ended. I have been suffering from depression and Anxiety for a very very long time before my 10-year relationship I was on Disability Pension because of it. I met my ... View more

Going through a tough time at the moment back on 5/2/17 my 10-year relationship was ended. I have been suffering from depression and Anxiety for a very very long time before my 10-year relationship I was on Disability Pension because of it. I met my ex online and we kicked it off right away she suffers from depression as well but not as bad as me she works full time now for 20 years. My anxiety gets in the way of me looking and holding any sort of work. My ex knew all this when we started seeing each other I then moved to Sydney to be with her leaving my only home and friends and my 2 children from another relationship/marriage. Everything was great for awhile I was going TAFE I but when I lost my pension because my ex-was earning too much $$$ I started to fall into my deep depression as well. We had our ups and downs my ex's father had to come and live with us again because he was dying so both he and my mother in law moved back in. This caused a lot of friction but I became a full-time carer for my ex's dying father. After he, unfortunately, passed away I went back into a deep depression I did another TAFE course in community services but with the rising costs if TAFE we could not afford me to do any more study (I did not want to be in any form of debt not trusting the current govenment. My ex's brother then had his marriage fail and he himself moved in as well. Everything was fine for a bit I did most of the housework while trying to find work. Then my mother in law started saying she wanted it out because I could not find work. I noticed her talking to my ex behind my back and one day she just walked in on me and said "get out" that was the 5/2/17 far as I know my ex did discuss it with my mother in Law but I was busy trying to pack my stuff at the time. I flew out the same day back home in Adeleide with my mom at the house I grew up in. My ex is very cold to me in texts she said she misses me and she loves me but that's not enough. Because I could not get a job our relationship is over poof! 10 years. I'm finding it very hard to understand because I was not, not doing nothing I was cleaning, washing etc I was doing what I could to show I was and wanted to help my ex and her family. As well as looking for work but I suppose being unemployed for so long was too much of a burden on my ex and her family.