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The Love of my life slipping away

Community Member

Hi all,

I have learnt a lot from these forms,and I decided to post something myself. My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time.I thought we will get married. I meet his family,he met mine.We are the PERFECT match in terms of hobbies, humour,understanding.Lived together for 2 years with no problems at all. I'm so happy with him.THEN he started withdrawing,being distant, wanting alone time,and getting angry out of his normal character.He mentioned he is facing a lot of pressure due to family issues,and he feels so much guilt and stress. He likes spending time in bed. For 2 months, I tried being strong for us,until he told me he cannot be selfish with me,that I don't deserve going down in his miserable life. He said he feels guilty seeing me hurt, and he wishes for a break so he can deal with it himself and fix himself.i don't think he recognizes he is exhibiting signs of depression.i have encouraged him to speak to someone it may help, and he doesn't think it will.he also had trouble sleeping, and couldn't keep still. He says he can't handle the commitment of a relationship at the moment,and wants a break so he doesn't have to worry about me. Now, I love him so much,and want him better.i have seen how he is stuggling and agreed to a break for 6 weeks maximum. We have both never been in a break, so don't have set rules except no seeing other people. I'm in so much pain because I love him so much. But in all this I have some peace,which is strange, or maybe I don't know how to feel. Just wanted to share

1 Reply 1

Community Member
I have had depression for most of the last 40 years. Depression can certainly interfere with relationships. Sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed by my depression. Usually a super-coper, things have to be extremely and unusually stressful for me to fold under pressure. In September I got hit by 3 extremely stressful events and I almost disintegrated. One thing that was very unusual was that my sex drive completely died. This has caused my wife to wonder why I'm not interested in physical intimacy. For me antidepressant medication has always been a great help. Many men don't realise they are depressed. Most men have misconceptions about what depression is. Looking back I can see a trail of friends I burnt out talking about my depression. I guess that's what your partner is worried about.