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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Tears_on_my_Pillow My son is in his mid 20s and doesn't have any friends
  • replies: 4

This is my first ever post and I would appreciate any responses. I suffer from depression and find myself becoming increasingly anxious as I can see my son going down the same path. I have felt so alone and lonely for the majority of my life and it s... View more

This is my first ever post and I would appreciate any responses. I suffer from depression and find myself becoming increasingly anxious as I can see my son going down the same path. I have felt so alone and lonely for the majority of my life and it seems history is repeating itself. My son is in his mid 20s and doesn't have any friends. He has been diagnosed with social anxiety and finds it difficult to form friendships. Seeing him lonely all the time is killing me. He is very quiet and a non drinker. I don't know how to help him and this is affecting my mental health. The area we live in is regional and offers few opportunities for meeting others who are like minded and of a similar age. I am concerned at how much this is affecting my health I seem to be conscious of his situation all of the time. My heart breaks from the loneliness I see in him. I feel like I am spiralling out of control.

Lynnie6 Opinions on direction
  • replies: 7

My husband has been messaging women overseas. Sharing intimate photos, video chatting, calls, talking about marriage, compliments and love and he even sent money. There are so so many of them. We have two little daughters and he is certain he wants u... View more

My husband has been messaging women overseas. Sharing intimate photos, video chatting, calls, talking about marriage, compliments and love and he even sent money. There are so so many of them. We have two little daughters and he is certain he wants us to stay together. This is not the first time. He says it's just a bit of fun and he thinks most of them were scammers. He says he's really sorry and won't ever do it again. I feel it is like an addiction. When he is in contact with all of them he us moody and withdrawn. He constantly had reasons to do things away from me. Meanwhile there was pretty much no physical touch between us let alone sex. He has always had trouble in that area. Which is what I want opinions on. I wrote another thread "crossroads" which explains our history more. But I know I love him and want our family to stay together but since I've found this last lot he has been nice and helpful. I don't know if I can or should do this all over again. I've been focusing on what he wants and needs as well since finding out yet I still feel unloved. I wonder if he looks at me like a mother rather than a lover. He says he does but this doesn't get backed up by actions or works yet these other women got plenty of beautiful words and sexy comments. They've also seen more of his penis than I have for years. Interested in other's opinions

Mila_ Not trusting my guts anymore
  • replies: 6

Hi I am new to the forum . I am 36 , 3 yrs post divorce and now dating . Circumstances of my divorce were pretty awful , finding out that my ex-husband was cheating with my friend . I also found out that my ex-husband was spreading false rumors about... View more

Hi I am new to the forum . I am 36 , 3 yrs post divorce and now dating . Circumstances of my divorce were pretty awful , finding out that my ex-husband was cheating with my friend . I also found out that my ex-husband was spreading false rumors about me to family and friends,; so that when the divorce came to light, they turned their back on me as well. We were married for 10 yrs and moved countries a few times for jobs.No children. I relied on my sisters who supported me emotionally and in 2 yrs time, my job , home, finances and the dog were stable:) I started dating last year and met a 41yr old man.I met him online and I met his family and friends too. My family believes he is a genuine, nice bloke . He is loves me, cares about me , wants a life together and if all goes well, have children etc... He lives away , so it is long distance relationship . The last 3 months, he took a long annual leave to spend time with me , for us to get to know each other . Everything went well and at the end of 3 months, he was ready to quit his well-paid job and move into the city where I am living. I am strangely still looking for reassurances. I am looking for inadequacies and faults in the situation. I don't feel the same way that "fell in love" with my exhusband. I don't feel that crazy rush of emotions which makes you dizzy. What this guy does make me feel is - comforted, loved , stable and calm. I know that I can weather a storm with him and he will never leave me in a lurch . I am confused and I feel like I may be making the wrong decision . One of my friends who is a psychologist always talks about being physically attracted to your partner. I find my boyfriend attractive,but I am not as enthusiastic about sex as I was when I was 24. All these thoughts have made me feel low. I have lost all inspiration to exercise . started binge eating and spend endless hours watching TV. I am looking for answers, not finding them , hence trying not to think about them with the above bad habits. Is it unrealistic to expect to "feel crazy in love again?"... am I settling for this relationship ? I feel horrible , unable to make a decision and sometimes wished I wasn't here anymore. Am I still suffering from the after effects of the betrayal of my first marriage? Please help... as I feel exhausted and unable to move forward in life.

Sadoerson I'm so lonely
  • replies: 7

This is my first thread, so hey! I really don't know what to say but that I just feel so lonely. And it's been like this my entire life. Throughout my life, i've been the one chasing people and struggling to keep friendships. I've always been the sec... View more

This is my first thread, so hey! I really don't know what to say but that I just feel so lonely. And it's been like this my entire life. Throughout my life, i've been the one chasing people and struggling to keep friendships. I've always been the second choice/option for everyone I've become close to- including my childhood bestfriend rn and I sometimes even feel like my mum too. My closest sister doesn't live at home so I barely talk to her and my dad just recently passed away. As well as this, just a few months ago I got my first ever pet (puppy) that I was extremely close to, but can't live with us anymore for other complicated reasons. Along with that, at this moment I feel as if my lifelong 'bestfriend' is slowly drifting apart from me. Ever since the beginning of high school she has slowly lost interest in being close with me because of another 'best friend'. I mean they're both at a sleepover right now! This is what it's been like my entire life. It's a constant feeling of being neglected, taken advantage or granted of and being left out. I just don't know what to do anymore.

kanga_brumby Chat thread for parents of Autistic people
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Hi all hopefully some of you can put our heads together if you have an Autistic child/ adult and feel there is nowhere to run or hide. you can come here have a coffee lay it down get it out get a straggly and get back into doing what we do. All day e... View more

Hi all hopefully some of you can put our heads together if you have an Autistic child/ adult and feel there is nowhere to run or hide. you can come here have a coffee lay it down get it out get a straggly and get back into doing what we do. All day every day. Few know what we do it's 48 hour days and 14 day weeks for some of us. Especially the single parents among us. Kanga

Katanne Needing advice
  • replies: 2

Hi - this is the first time of posting on a forum but am really needing some advice. My husband and I are going through a really patch at the moment and even though I still love him and really want our marriage to work I am not sure how to fix what i... View more

Hi - this is the first time of posting on a forum but am really needing some advice. My husband and I are going through a really patch at the moment and even though I still love him and really want our marriage to work I am not sure how to fix what is wrong. To cut a long story short we have two daughters who are currently school aged, I work full time and my husband works casually (he tried to set up his own business with a friend of his a couple of years ago but unfortunately this has not been successful). I believe (and this is where I need advice) that my husband is depressed about the business not being successful, his business partner really letting him down and that currently he is not really being able to provide for the family. My husband thinks that to improve his well being instead of having the girls in before and after school care (and us saving the money) that he will look after them himself in the afternoons. However by doing this he is not earning money and this then means that he is stressed about not earning any money and being able to pay the mortgage/normal bills. My wage can only stretch so far and even though I will pay for the bills that I can afford, my husband then thinks that I can't budget my money as I am not paying off the credit card as quickly as I (or he would like). We had a big argument last weekend as I had asked him to take one of our daughters to a swimming lesson which he didn't like and he said to me that once he starts to do one thing (ie picking up the girls from school) that I then take advantage of him and he can't get them into a routine (I found this really hard to hear considering that it was a once off). My husband also thinks that I am not affectionate towards him however when you have your "so called husband" blame you constantly for everything that isn't right you will not exactly want to be affectionate to that person either. He regularly says that I have changed since we got together however this as prior to our children coming along so of course things would be different now. Could someone let me know what their opinions are - as I said because we have children and because I want our marriage to work I am not sure where to go from here By the way I would be the first person to admit that I am in no way perfect and have made errors along the way but do try and do things for the family not for myself.

Emma819 How to break up with someone who is a danger to themselves
  • replies: 3

Hi I want to break up with my long term boyfriend (live in) as I feel like we should be friends. However I am afraid he will hurt himself if I do as I have gone to before and he has not taken it well. help I feel so stuck.

Hi I want to break up with my long term boyfriend (live in) as I feel like we should be friends. However I am afraid he will hurt himself if I do as I have gone to before and he has not taken it well. help I feel so stuck.

mar_k MOVING ON ...how to
  • replies: 2

when and how can we stop worrying about our children, I am sad that one of ours is unable to move on from a stressful situation.. , I know that she was unfairly criticized, but move on, I am tired now of the constant emails , you have to get an apolo... View more

when and how can we stop worrying about our children, I am sad that one of ours is unable to move on from a stressful situation.. , I know that she was unfairly criticized, but move on, I am tired now of the constant emails , you have to get an apology for me, I need it I feel sad for her , I am angry it happened, I approached that person, but heh, no resolutuion, lets move on... for our own sakes I had to in the past with tears help

sadmum63 Need help with adult sons depression
  • replies: 1

I need some advice to help me with my adult son who has depression and anxiety. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for about 4 yrs, but he just seems to keep giving him more tablets and these just make him sleepy but don't seem to make him ... View more

I need some advice to help me with my adult son who has depression and anxiety. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for about 4 yrs, but he just seems to keep giving him more tablets and these just make him sleepy but don't seem to make him feel better. He seems to be worse lately and that could be partly due to me moving on with a new relationship after my husband passed away ( that was not my sons father) He constantly texts me and tells me he is not coping and he is going to end it all. I think in the past I have enabled his behaviour when i think i have been trying to help him. I am always trying to 'fix' things for him and make him feel better. now it seems to have got to a point where i cant do or say anything to help him but he still keeps texting me and calling me. I feel like I need to toughen up and give a bit of 'tough love' but have no idea whether that is the right thing to do. any suggestions would be great. he has been to therapy, had ECT therapy, been to a psychologist that he wouldn't talk to. he does take his tablets, but he also uses drugs and dope to make him 'feel better'.

HopeForAll Don't feel cared about.
  • replies: 2

so here's the thing, I don't feel cared about by family or friends. I moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney after 19 years of living there; therefore everything I've ever known till now is another state away. Any communication is via phone call, texts ... View more

so here's the thing, I don't feel cared about by family or friends. I moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney after 19 years of living there; therefore everything I've ever known till now is another state away. Any communication is via phone call, texts etc. I had always felt like a bit of an outsider with my family and never felt like I belonged. Me and my mother do not speak at all due to her not being healthy for my mental state of mind. My dad has another family and is a bit of a workaholic, so he never has a lot of time for me. My sister is busy with her family, and so on with numerous family members. I seem to always make the first contact, I call and message constantly and it never seems to be the other way around. It really hurts me because the only person who rings my phone is my partner, and my nan occasionally to see how I am, other then that, I don't feel like I'm even given a second thought. In regards to friends, I'm still trying to create myself and figure out who I am etc. So I'm saying that, I don't feel confident when trying to make friends. And i feel embarrassed to say that, I'm almost 21 and I'm still using the term 'making friends'. But the friends I have made here are all from work, and again, they don't seem to text or even call me first. I just don't understand why everyone does this? Am I honestly not special to people or make an impact on anyone? i just feel really alone and not cared about.