Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Anthony89 My fiancee of 5 years has split/ I am waiting on a double hip replacement and have anxiety and depression
  • replies: 4

My mrs who I love with everything in me has just told two days ago she doesn't love me anymore.i believed the best course of action was to leave the house we bought only 6 months together ago straight away. I am 27 years old and suffer from chronic h... View more

My mrs who I love with everything in me has just told two days ago she doesn't love me anymore.i believed the best course of action was to leave the house we bought only 6 months together ago straight away. I am 27 years old and suffer from chronic hip pain due arthritis and torn tendons from a child hood deformity. I have been unable to work for the last year and the eaaiest way to put it is that times haven't been fun. I have suffered from generalised anxiety for 10 years and PTSD for 1 year and depression for 1 year straight where I checked myself into hospital only two weeks ago as I was scared of what I'd do to myself because the pain has bought me more down than ever. My partner she is a amazing person with a heart of gold but she has become depressed aswell from the stress of my health to us not being able to be as close because of the gap my pain created.she isn't the type to breakup then make up so I know this is final and I won't push her because I will respect her choice. But it hurts so much especially when I'm already so down and I just feel stuck because of the long wait on my double hip replacement and I know its why I can't make her happy anymore. I honestly tried as hard as I could. I have now moved in with my brother and his family and bought my puppy who's 6months with me who is my everything. Help or any guidance would be appreciated alot thankyou

out_of_this__world Trying very hard but finding a solution or a way to make it work very difficult
  • replies: 2

I have had a Mrs for 2 yrs now we had a problem since we moved in together, the problem is she suffers from anxiety and maybe some other mental condition as well. Another problem is she has had big breakdowns in the past while living in the house wit... View more

I have had a Mrs for 2 yrs now we had a problem since we moved in together, the problem is she suffers from anxiety and maybe some other mental condition as well. Another problem is she has had big breakdowns in the past while living in the house with me one cost her a job, she wants kids and I'm not sure i can commit to kids with her with these conditions happening. She is seeking counseling seems to be get better and then goes back to the old way ( mood swings are constant) which i struggle with. I feel like I want it to work but my mind and body makes me feel different I feel uncomfortable when the constant emotions come to the show, her emotions about herself are always negative and it seems a stretch to have fun with her these days. We are doing couple counseling and I am seeing a counselor myself, the couple counselor is assured her mental issues are the problem. I also have a little anxiety about the situation as it is constant dealing with her emotions and the situation, I'm not to bad just don't feel great some days. I have some issues with being lonely and looking for another girl she feeds off this, another problem is I am very chilled person who hates drama so I feel trapped and taken advantage of a little. I have chosen to take a distance and let her deal with her emotions but it has made it worse and she is crying a lot. I am also looking for a new job and i feel all this is becoming to much even if i am doing better. I have found the connection with the family an issue she is close to them and they like her so most people tell me to persist and see what happens. She is 34yrs and I'm 32 yrs old, she is desperate for kids and she at the that age, but I question is she ready for kids they are demanding especially if you have mental illness. Trying very hard but finding it difficult to make a decision either way. She has stated she will fight to the death for this relationship, difficult time in my life i was a very confident man but the situation is life draining.

leelee1994 done
  • replies: 29

Done with my 5 year relationship leave and never look back now time to get a new life as much as i love him no more will i deal with this everything was grdat i was getting back on track with my deprestion till he flipped have now been flogged to nea... View more

Done with my 5 year relationship leave and never look back now time to get a new life as much as i love him no more will i deal with this everything was grdat i was getting back on track with my deprestion till he flipped have now been flogged to near death one to many times how do i come back from this this time i cant even move

Erica17 Recent Breakup/ Lonely
  • replies: 2

Last night my boyfriend and I split up after 7 years because of emotional issues and others strains in our relationship recently.I can't stop thinking about him. I've talked to friends, but we aren't as close as we used to and can't catch up very eas... View more

Last night my boyfriend and I split up after 7 years because of emotional issues and others strains in our relationship recently.I can't stop thinking about him. I've talked to friends, but we aren't as close as we used to and can't catch up very easy due to distance. I've spoken to family, but it hasn't helped. I've tried doing things, like going outside, reading etc, but almost anything I do makes me think of little things about what we shared or I just think of him anyway.I feel so low, and just want to talk to him again. He's been my rock for such a long time. We spoke of things that we didn't really share with others.I don't know how to cope. I'm wondering if I should go see a doctor.

James85 separation for a month from wife feeling depressed
  • replies: 2

Hi Guys, second time here.... thought everything was fine and me and my wife worked stuff out. small insight of my relationship 1 year of courting(zero touching just getting to know each other) 6 years together, 2 years married. last year i entered d... View more

Hi Guys, second time here.... thought everything was fine and me and my wife worked stuff out. small insight of my relationship 1 year of courting(zero touching just getting to know each other) 6 years together, 2 years married. last year i entered depression due to working 12 hours a night monday - friday and comin home and trying to get the energy to clean the house. my wife works as well. i told her i'm depressed and i don't know why she told me "what have you got depressed about" and that i'm just weak so i dropped the matter. she continually blames me for everything and bringing up stuff i did in the past (no cheating or stuff like that} just things i say without thinking. she rings me and complains about her work saying it my fault that she has to work and regrets moving out from her permanent housing trust house and she was on disability support pension for depression and didn't have to work, so this is my fault as well. the house is messy, my fault. washing wasn't hung even though she said she would do it, my fault. everything is my fault. now i just say to her when she forgets something or drops something i say sorry because i believe it's my fault. the worst part is i still love this woman. she moved out 1 half weeks ago to her sisters, but we talk everyday and talk for hours. but she doesn't know what she wants to do. she continually tells me she doesn't want to live anymore and that she's bored. i told her she needs to see a doctor and she told her sister i said that and i copped it from her, she goes "ohhh its nothing you did it's all depression is it?" sighh... again its all my fault. i'm refusing to take anti D as it makes me feel emotionally numb of everything and i can't feel any happiness, i just feel blank. is there anything i can take naturally to only take the edge of the miserableness?. i'm taking executive B stress formula but i don't know if its working. i know i should just jump ship on this woman.. but i just can't give up on her as i NEVER give up on anything in my life i will fight to the end. i told her that i will not stop pursuing her and the only way i would stop is if you cheat. and she only said a month break as she can find herself but she still calls me, i don't cell her. aaah i don't know any help would be greatfull

Emily97 Breaking up with a child involved.
  • replies: 4

I have recently broken up with my partner because of personal reason. I have Borderline Personality Disorder so it's very hard for me. We have one child together and I would like to have shared custody but he doesn't want to. I'm in and out of hospit... View more

I have recently broken up with my partner because of personal reason. I have Borderline Personality Disorder so it's very hard for me. We have one child together and I would like to have shared custody but he doesn't want to. I'm in and out of hospital so I can see why. I'm terrified that I want be able to see my son. How do I go about this?

Clo13 Hurting and Alone
  • replies: 2

I've recently had a miscarriage and didn't even know I was pregnant until it happened and my partner of 5 years thinks I am lying about it to 'get his attention'. I'm incredibly hurt at what he said to me as he was not supportive at all and accused m... View more

I've recently had a miscarriage and didn't even know I was pregnant until it happened and my partner of 5 years thinks I am lying about it to 'get his attention'. I'm incredibly hurt at what he said to me as he was not supportive at all and accused me of lying. I can't understand why anyone would lie about such a devastating thing as this. He has made me feel so insecure in our relationship and I feel as though he is just going to end things. I don't have many friends or family around and am feeling so betrayed and heartbroken and don't even know what to do as he won't speak to me at all. Wondering if anyone has been in a situation similar or how anyone would handle these feelings.

Erica17 Breaking up
  • replies: 3

Hello, my partner and I recently had a huge fight and now he's wanting to leave me, but we haven't broke up yet. We've been together for 7+ years and I'm devastated. He's my best friend, and I feel so hopeless right now. I haven't been sleeping well,... View more

Hello, my partner and I recently had a huge fight and now he's wanting to leave me, but we haven't broke up yet. We've been together for 7+ years and I'm devastated. He's my best friend, and I feel so hopeless right now. I haven't been sleeping well, tossing and turning then waking up stressed thinking about what will happen. It's distracting me from work, I start to shake sometimes and have been breaking down a lot. I can't enjoy or do the things I like either due to thinking about it constantly.

kryssie85 Feeling so low, affected by a breakup
  • replies: 3

Hi there, Long story short, I ended my first relationship since separating with the father of my children about 6 weeks ago, which was about 18 months in duration . I felt it was a really healthy decision to make as although the guy I was seeing care... View more

Hi there, Long story short, I ended my first relationship since separating with the father of my children about 6 weeks ago, which was about 18 months in duration . I felt it was a really healthy decision to make as although the guy I was seeing cared about me, he was a heavy drinker and lost his licence several months ago for drink driving. I was easily led into drinking with him which I also tried to avoid as much as possible in case it interfered with my depression medication and other aspects of my life. He took it pretty hard when I ended it and I had to block him on social media and his number etc.I'll call him "J" in this post. I went on a date with a really nice guy two weeks ago which was fantastic! I'll call him "A". No pressure, just dinner and we really hit it off. A came over the next night to watch a movie and keep me company which was great, but J came over that night as well. I asked him to leave, he was remorseful and begging for me back, saying he was going to quit drinking. I said I'm sorry but its not healthy for me and I'm done. J came back several hours later when A was visiting, much to my embarrassment, with chocolates and a card. he then proceeded to leave me abusive voicemails which I deleted without bothering to listen to. In the whole month we'd been split he had no contact with me and he was verbally abusive when I left so this was unexpected. Anyway... so him coming over obviously didn't look good to A. I'm not only embarrassed by the whole situation, but this lovely guy has taken a huge step back and distanced himself, which has made me really upset. I really don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated.

Guest_922 Am I over sensitive or do I have a problem.
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Came home from work tonight and my husband is still sick with a cold. He has been taking cold and flu tablets with codiene and pseudoephridrine. Tonight he also drank a bottle of kahlua. He is now in the shed working out screaming and roaring and I a... View more

Came home from work tonight and my husband is still sick with a cold. He has been taking cold and flu tablets with codiene and pseudoephridrine. Tonight he also drank a bottle of kahlua. He is now in the shed working out screaming and roaring and I am worried. He has been passive aggressive swearing all night then suddenly nice and overly lovely again. I feel repulsed by his behaviour and he can sense it and told the kids that mummy hates daddy. In the past he has turned this aggression towards me but it rarely happens now a days and when it does it usually only verbal. But I just never feel safe when he drinks. It makes me depressed and I don't think I will ever be ok with it. Am I over sensitive? Do I need to get over it and laugh it off more as he would say? I wasn't prepared for it tonight as its a work night. Usually I have advanced notice, time to prepare like grand final day etc. how do I get over it so he doesn't get agitated with my repulsion.