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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Gothmoth Friends excluding me because of disability???
  • replies: 2

I've been having a lot of troubles with my friends lately. They've been excluding me from things and ignoring me. My best friend has bpd and is using it as an excuse as why he's treating me bad (he's splitting on me so it's ok apparently), and now he... View more

I've been having a lot of troubles with my friends lately. They've been excluding me from things and ignoring me. My best friend has bpd and is using it as an excuse as why he's treating me bad (he's splitting on me so it's ok apparently), and now he's not inviting me to stuff when he invites all of our other friends. I'm physically disabled and I'm in a wheelchair like 90% of the time and this has never been a problem for my friends before but now they're constantly telling me they didn't invite me because of my disability, they even tried to tell me to stay home and not go to my birthday thing I organised because of it (they would still get to go apparently tho). I also have bpd and things like this really stress me out, especially because I'm in a situation where I'm stuck at home in bed most of the time and I'm not in a situation where I can make new friends. idk I just don't know if I'm overreacting about all this and whether it's ok for them to exclude me because of my wheelchair because I am a lot slower moving than them in it. I know they have the right to not interact with me if they don't want to but I'd prefer if they just told me to leave them alone instead of ignoring me and telling me it's my fault.

baker76 Feel like I dont want my marriage
  • replies: 1

Ive been married just over a year now and been together for 3 years.im struggling with my marriage and seem like I cant help myself.a few issues we have is his time at work alot of hours and not spending much time together we have a 5 month old baby.... View more

Ive been married just over a year now and been together for 3 years.im struggling with my marriage and seem like I cant help myself.a few issues we have is his time at work alot of hours and not spending much time together we have a 5 month old baby.his dying mum who I know wants his help but she does things on purpose just to get him to her house and his drinking is another problem.he doesnt drink as much as he used to but everytime we fight he goes on a bender and doesnt come home for hours and is drunk and spent our money .i really am struggling as to why even stay in a marriage. I know I get jealous when hes out drinking and I know I shouldnt be angry about his mum but she does things on purpose even our wedding day she admitted herself to hospital because we were away for our wedding. And to top it off he just lost his job

Trixs Mother in law
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone stressing ao bad its our xmas party next weekend and my mil works at the same company we just dont get along i havent seen her for 12 months No joke. I know my husband misses them and will want to sit with them but i cant do it i just can... View more

Hi everyone stressing ao bad its our xmas party next weekend and my mil works at the same company we just dont get along i havent seen her for 12 months No joke. I know my husband misses them and will want to sit with them but i cant do it i just cant sit with them. My anxiety is high and i just want to run away. Help what do i do. I really want to go to support hubby and normally its a really good night. I know other people but i know when i see her ahe will act normal and hug me. But i dont want that

JackM Worried about future relationships - issues resulting from DSP and the 'welfare trap'
  • replies: 3

I am worried about what kind of future relationships I will have. I am 40 years old and unmarried. I have PTSD and Clinical Depression (although the former is far worse). For years I have avoided going on the DSP even though I was likely eligible, an... View more

I am worried about what kind of future relationships I will have. I am 40 years old and unmarried. I have PTSD and Clinical Depression (although the former is far worse). For years I have avoided going on the DSP even though I was likely eligible, and I was somehow managing to live. In my current circumstances I have no choice but to apply for the DSP. I am concerned about this, however. How will I meet someone for marriage, or otherwise have a 'normal' life? If the person that I meet has a job, then my benefit will then pay zero and I am bringing nothing to the table at all. How do the other people here handle this? Alternatively, will I have to work out a situation in which my partner is my carer? Neither situation seems adequate. I have come to accept my condition, and have also come to accept that it is unlikely to improve in the long term (its already been 10 years). However I would like to live as normal a life as possible, and do the kinds of things that 'normal' people do. One of those things is get married and possibly have children (I don't have any genetic issue - the children will be healthy). But I don't see how I can do that. How does everyone else handle this?

hathi At a loss - husband suffering from depression and anxiety - no support
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I will try to keep this as short and simple as possible, however please forgive me if I don't manage this too well as my issues are quite consuming and difficult for me to process. I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 7. ... View more

Hi everyone, I will try to keep this as short and simple as possible, however please forgive me if I don't manage this too well as my issues are quite consuming and difficult for me to process. I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 7. We have one son and a second baby due any day now. This year in January, after years of ignoring his pain, he sought help and was diagnosed with depression and GAD. I have tried my best to support him whilst managing 95% of the household responsibilities as well as working full time just as he does. My struggle now is that it feels as though the relationship is very one-sided. I am expected to support him unconditionally and forgive/forget whenever I am in pain or when he has hurt me at the risk of overwhelming him. I am not a person who likes to internalise my emotions, but am being forced to because I feel bad for burdening him and he does not respond well when we 'talk', nor does it seem like he cares if I am feeling okay or not. He says that he cannot manage a lot of things (hasn't been for a long time) because the depression prevents him from being motivated, yet he is able to play video games, watch whatever show he wants, spend time on social media and manage organising things for himself but it's too hard to do anything for our family, me or the house in general. Please also bear in mind that whilst he was diagnosed this year, he has been a sufferer for much longer. He now is on medication and sees a Pyschologist, but has not stuck to most of her suggestions. I feel like he is taking me for granted and abusing our relationship because he thinks I will always be around. I am now at the point where I do not see that happening and have actively been looking at separation as the only solution. I am due to be a mother of 2 soon. I have felt like a single parent many a times and it is difficult to cope. I feel a lot of anger and resentment towards my husband now and whilst I acknowledge they are not healthy feelings, I can't help but feel them. I feel drained emotionally and physically and regularly have to fight him to get support for myself or what seems like just acknowledgement that I too am a person with feelings and emotions; someone who will also need support, particularly now as I'm a week shy of giving birth. How do I approach this? What do I do? He is difficult to talk with and doesn't engage when I try. I feel cornered and suffocated in this relationship.

avara89 in love with two people (who are best friends with each-other)
  • replies: 15

Not really sure where to start... 10 years ago I was in a relationship that lasted about 3 years. He was my world, was my everything, and he loved me with such intense passion. I've never been with anyone since that has treated me so amazingly and le... View more

Not really sure where to start... 10 years ago I was in a relationship that lasted about 3 years. He was my world, was my everything, and he loved me with such intense passion. I've never been with anyone since that has treated me so amazingly and left my whole heart burning for them. Towards the end of the relationship we became restless and fought lots...we were young...and I ended up spending more time with his best friend than him. His friend would always support and be there for me after fights with the bf. During the 8 years that followed, I was in a different long term relationship which ended due to severe emotional and sometimes physical DV. I had kept in loose contact with the above mentioned best friend of the first ex. After my second relationship ended, two years ago, the best friend of bf1, struck up an intimate relationship with me. We moved in together very quickly and now have a baby. We are fairly happy and he is a very good provider for our little family. Here's my problem...the only reason why I followed into an intimate relationship with my current partner (best friend of bf1) was because he reminded me *so much* of my first bf. Like little mannerisms, facial expressions and such, that he had picked up from bf1 because they had lived together for so long. At the time, I was lonely and bf1 was living overseas, so I never thought I would see him again. Fast forward to now. Bf1 is living in the same city and working with my current partner (his best friend). I see him almost everyday and it's killing me. I know I can't pursue anything, I flat out don't even talk to bf1 when I see him. I've gotten myself into this massive mess and now there's a baby involved. I thought I would be over bf1 by now. But I just can't stop thinking about him. It's consuming me. I think my partner suspects that I still love his friend and has recently grown a little distant. I'm not sure if I should continue our relationship or what? I definitely want my baby to grow up in a stable home. If I stayed in this relationship I feel like it could definitely work and we would be happy, but do not believe I would ever love him the way I love bf1. Is it better to be with someone because your brain knows it's a good decision? Or do you go with your heart? Sorry for long post...please no judgment. I do love my current partner...it's just a different, less intense, type of love.

NikkieB How to mend a broken relationship
  • replies: 2

Me and my husband are going through a very rough patch . Started with his family interefering and deciding who should come and stay at our house . When we used to fight , it almost Always ended with a physical fight , initiated by him mostly . We sor... View more

Me and my husband are going through a very rough patch . Started with his family interefering and deciding who should come and stay at our house . When we used to fight , it almost Always ended with a physical fight , initiated by him mostly . We sorted out the issues and things were fine for a while . But now , even trivial things make him violent . Although sometimes I exaggerate the arguement by getting rude and like , snatch his phone or turn off the tv or iPad To make him look at me . Usually the fight involves the topic of his family . I am reluctant to go to a marriage counsellor as I am scared if I mention about physical violence and the information gets out , he might loose his job as his job requires mental stability . He is fine and lovely and very supportive in rest of the aspects of a relationship and does everything for me and loves me unconditionally but only the family issues which are unresolved . What complicates the matter is that I might be having depression/anxiety and feeling of worthlessness and hence a situation like this makes me incapable of doing anything for few weeks. I want to continue the relation as I feel that relationships are meant to be worked upon and they need constant attention and resolving of issues i was wondering if anyone has any suggestion on how to start mending this relation ? Do counsellors have a rule of mandatory reporting about physical violence against women ?

Nervybella Doubting self after meeting someone new
  • replies: 5

Hey guys, I haven't posted in a while. This post isn't so much about mental health but I really wanted a place to talk to like minded and understanding people. Ok so here goes: I have recently met a guy, we were in a situation where we spent a lot of... View more

Hey guys, I haven't posted in a while. This post isn't so much about mental health but I really wanted a place to talk to like minded and understanding people. Ok so here goes: I have recently met a guy, we were in a situation where we spent a lot of time together for a week. During this time we got very close, we were flirting and I got the strong feeling that he liked me. I also started to develop a crush on him. We have since parted ways, he lives in another city. We are friends on social media and talk regularly. I have since seen on social media that he has been in a relationship with a man. I guess I am just feeling a bit confused, and a bit silly for developing feelings. Because of this I am having some of my anxious/self loathing thoughts. I am trying hard to forget my feelings or be more objective, but struggling a bit. I don't know what I will get out of this post, other than some opinions etc? Thanks for reading, Bella

EmmyK Break up after over 5 years
  • replies: 3

Hello. im very new to this, but I need help because I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I of 5 years broke up yesterday morning. I knew things had been strained with us for the past few months, on occasion, but I didn’t realise it was this bad.... View more

Hello. im very new to this, but I need help because I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I of 5 years broke up yesterday morning. I knew things had been strained with us for the past few months, on occasion, but I didn’t realise it was this bad. We had plans to leave for Europe for a holiday tomorrow. He broke up with me. And I guess part of me, deep deep down knew it would happen one day, but definitely not now. When I say things were strained, they still were reasonably normal. He still would tell me he loved me and would always try and make me happy, but I guess it wasn’t all sincere. I just really need help. He’s been my rock for so long, was even a pull bearer for my mums funeral. I don’t know if I can live without him, because I love him so much. Even before him, I had always had someone in my life and had never been single for more than a couple of months since Highschool. Has anyone else been through something like this? I need advice on how to cope. Also we are meeting up today to discuss everything. I’m terrified.

Loving_wife1 My Husband has walked out suffering from depression
  • replies: 6

After many years, he finally got help with his illness, and after being on medication for 10 months, has said he has no feelings and feels vague about everything. He left the kids and myself to stay at his sisters about 5 weeks ago. After 2 weeks I n... View more

After many years, he finally got help with his illness, and after being on medication for 10 months, has said he has no feelings and feels vague about everything. He left the kids and myself to stay at his sisters about 5 weeks ago. After 2 weeks I noticed he been in contact with his ex from 20 years ago. He found out I knew and said he wanted a separation and nothing was happing between them both. He is come off his meds in the last few weeks and doesn't seem the man that I knew. Feeling so lost, but will always be there for him no matter what happens. I have to be strong for our young children, and are seeking help from Relationships Sa for myself, as he does not want to see doctors or anyone. What can I do to help????