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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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alovelygirl Lost in Love
  • replies: 6

Hello and thanks in advance to whoever would like to listen. I am a 21 year old female who is currently facing the anxieties that come with graduating university, entering the real world, and finding love. I have always placed a lot of pressure on my... View more

Hello and thanks in advance to whoever would like to listen. I am a 21 year old female who is currently facing the anxieties that come with graduating university, entering the real world, and finding love. I have always placed a lot of pressure on myself to be a high achiever. I was always fairly quiet throughout childhood, so I suppose academic excellence was my way of standing out and gaining respect from others. As time went on, the pressure built and built to the point where I felt as though my self worth was dependent on my achievements, which caused me to develop a lot of anxiety. Recently I have really been struggling in the relationship department as well, and I've been left feeling anxious and alone. A little overview about me. I have a wonderful family and a close knit group of friends who are very supportive, though I've gone from being the optimistic, positive friend to the one who feels dependent on them too much. I like to vent and talk, but I don't want to keep burdening them with my emotions. I was recently in a 1.5 year relationship with a guy who had a chronic illness. He quickly became my best friend, the person I did everything with, though in the first few months of dating his health declined and he was told he did not have much longer to live. I spent the entirety of our relationship being his support. I did absolutely everything I could to make his life better and yes it was my choice, but it ended up becoming an enormous weight on my own mental health. In August last year, he received a double lung transplant and I was there by his side throughout the whole process. I watched him take his first steps with new lungs, I was there to answer the phone at 3am when his pain was too much and he needed someone to talk to, I travelled up to 5 hours per day to visit his hospital accommodation throughout the year. In the end, after he had recovered physically, it all become too much as he developed serious mental health problems that were being inflicted upon me. We ended things earlier this year. Shortly after I met someone new. Very unexpected. Although just as I opened my heart and thought to myself 'you would be silly to not give this a chance', he turned cold after 4 months. He is genuinely scared of being hurt again as he was in his last relationship. But now, just as I fell for him, he can't reciprocate the same love that I am willing to give. And I am left feeling empty, unappreciated and always second best. Just needed to vent. X

gemmi mental game is not strong
  • replies: 3

This is really hard for me, I always talk about how important mental health is and I thought I had mine sorted out and was winning with copying, However, the last few weeks I realise I am losing my mental health and try as I may my boyfriend just isn... View more

This is really hard for me, I always talk about how important mental health is and I thought I had mine sorted out and was winning with copying, However, the last few weeks I realise I am losing my mental health and try as I may my boyfriend just isn't the one I can talk to about it. So here goes. Last year I fell pregnant unexpectedly just after me and bf got back together. I was stoked. Him not so much. What came after was a week of full blown depression, anxiety and a feeling of no control. He didnt want it fair enough but the pressure he put on me to have an abortion was intense. I actually feel like this pressure and pain forced a miscarry. I lost it, I was devastated and I didn't talk about it. He said maybe we can try next year. So being the girl that I am I held onto that 1 year promise. It wasnt a promise it was just his way of helping me deal. But it actually made me count weeks, months, waiting for that. 1 year later he isn'd ready still and I have become desperate. I get a late period, I get a niggle in my stomach and I run out and buy a pregnancy test. All which come back negative sending me into a deeper hole of sadness then I think, maybe next month. I constantly bring this up with him, and he says he can not give me a time frame. But that is all I really need. Just an idea so I can work towards that dream. But he says it would be lying to himself if he gave me one. I long for a baby. But I also long for a baby with him. He is my sole mate and I don't want to do it without him. I do push these thoughts away, they are destruction. How do I be happy for my newly pregnant friends with out feeling jealous. thanks

Cassa Stuffed up as a mother
  • replies: 6

Hi guys, my mental health goes back many years. I have a diagnosis PTSD, depression and anxiety. Also I had severe post natal depression with my last child who is now in his 30's. I manage my mental health with the support of GP, psychiatrist, medica... View more

Hi guys, my mental health goes back many years. I have a diagnosis PTSD, depression and anxiety. Also I had severe post natal depression with my last child who is now in his 30's. I manage my mental health with the support of GP, psychiatrist, medications, meditation, yoga, mindfulness. Since my childhood I have dealt with sexual abuse, seeing my father and father killed in a MVA. My ex having an affair in later stages of my last pregnancy which resulted in PND and in those days it was very hard access treatment. So was a mess for about 3 years until I decided to try to get myself together by doing a social work degree, 2 teenage children and a toddler on top of being a single mum. I had a complex relationship with my ex at times who continued his affair and wanted to reconcile. When my 2 older children moved on with their life and I completed my uni degree I found work in another town without any money and no support from my ex I was not in a position I had no choice but to leave my now 6 year old son with his father and step mother. My son visited me once a weekend every month and all the school holidays. I noticed that when he reached teens he was always angry with me. But was also with his step mother, when he turned about 15 his father asked that he move in with me and my new husband and step daughters. He was not happy about the move and was very difficult to live with, he was critical of just about everything, withdrew to his room and just wanted to spend his days playing computer games. I tried everything to encourage him to go to school and eventually find a job and I was met with a very angry son, which left me in tears and depressed. When he was 19 he met a young lady who was in the family way so he eventually moved out with his girlfriend. They had another child and he still continued his obsession with computer games until she forced him to get a job. After 16 years his wife finally had enough of him not wanting to contribute to the family and asked him to move out as she had found another man. So I stepped up and offered him to come home. He was very distressed so I attempted to provide support to get his life on track, and I was met with hostility and just wanting to go to work, intermittent and stay up all night playing on his computer games. After 7 mths when I was feeling mentally exhausted we end up having an argument he has moved into shared accommodation. Resulting in a relapse with my mental health

Deelee Ending of a 4 year relationship
  • replies: 10

Hi my name is Donna and I have just hit the 50 years, which I thought I would of had it together by now I suffer anxiety and depression and a few other physical problems also I was in a 4 year relationship with a gentleman and mainly his 10 year old ... View more

Hi my name is Donna and I have just hit the 50 years, which I thought I would of had it together by now I suffer anxiety and depression and a few other physical problems also I was in a 4 year relationship with a gentleman and mainly his 10 year old daughter when cyclone Debbie hit our small town we both lived separately but his residents got completely trashed by flood waters so I brought him and his 10 year old daughter and also his pregnant older daughter to stay with me for 3 months why there house was being fixed , it was a bit tense at times but we all manage , I went out of my way to help clean gather and rebuild what we could , which also grew extremely close to his youngest daughter in that time , when they finally got to move back to there house , after helping set everything up , applying for funds gaining washing machines beds and what ever eles was available all communication suddenly stopped its been 3 months and I get the occasional phone call from the 10 year old but what hurts most is she called the other day to tell me dad has been seeing another women for some time so basically I have been heart broken and also stomped on this man I thought was my best friend and soul mate yet while he was living under my roof he was creating a relationship with some one eles how does one get over that , I am waking every day with a broken heart and to think I was used as a convenience for a shelter in a storm so to speek it is a smalll town and seeing any of them would shatter me now I know time heels all wounds but I thought at 50 I was a better judge of character not feeling to positive about the future and I have never trusted many people and this makes me even more cautious

bluewater Why do we let it get there!
  • replies: 6

I had a one night stand to begin with and then fell in love! Im stupid sadly I knew this couldn't work out and I became reckless and now I'm being ignored! Sadly at the time I craved attention and this person was what I wanted but had own issues and ... View more

I had a one night stand to begin with and then fell in love! Im stupid sadly I knew this couldn't work out and I became reckless and now I'm being ignored! Sadly at the time I craved attention and this person was what I wanted but had own issues and the feelings were one sided Gosh ive been through so much how do i just let this go. I've become the clingy person I dont even like. Texting. . I just want to stop! I've been told to use my block feature etc & think twice... none of this helps & I've lost way more important people in my life! This sucks

Missberri how to find love
  • replies: 5

I would really like to start looking for a partner. I've been single for quite a long time and would just really like to find someone who I care about and who I can share everything with. The problem is I really don't feel like I'll be good enough fo... View more

I would really like to start looking for a partner. I've been single for quite a long time and would just really like to find someone who I care about and who I can share everything with. The problem is I really don't feel like I'll be good enough for anyone - in terms of my personality. I'm always told I'm the nicest and sweetest person but I don't think that's something most people want to be around all the time. I feel like most people want someone confident, who talks a lot and who's great to have conversations with, outgoing and who knows exactly who they are and what they want. I have so much trouble connecting with even my friends half of the time that I feel like there's no way I'll be able to find a guy who'll want to be around me for huge amounts of their time. Ugh I just feel like there's so much pressure to be someone I'm just not but I wish I could be! Has anyone got advice on how they've found love while living with social anxiety or any tips on how to make it easier? I feel like I'm missing out on this amazing part of life and really want to experience being with someone again, but I'm so worried I'm not going to be enough or I'll bring another person down. Thank you!

Crushing New here
  • replies: 6

This Is harder than I thought. Long story short, my husbands family Is destroying him. He has developed a panic disorder due to an incedent SIX months ago, involving his entire immediate family. His youngest sister's partner was a pig to him. When bo... View more

This Is harder than I thought. Long story short, my husbands family Is destroying him. He has developed a panic disorder due to an incedent SIX months ago, involving his entire immediate family. His youngest sister's partner was a pig to him. When both he and i stood up for ourselves, he was harrassed, pursued and threatended. His little sister attacked me physically, I did not retaliate. The vicious rumours and bullying have spiraled. There was a text from his middle sister at 7.30am this morning that sent me into the mother of all panic attacks (I myself am clinically depressed and suffer an anxiety disorder}. It was victim blaming, guilt tripping, false and cruel. Ultimately, I decided to delete it after franticly whispering to my mother over the phone. She had no advice for me, not for lack of trying and care. I'm freaking out, I have never lied or kept things form my husband before, believe it or not. These words would have broken him, of this I'm sure. Now I'm trembling uncontrollably, the smoke and drink barely make a dent. He's at work right now, due home In an hour. I'm terrified that he will come home home In a state and there will be nothing I can do to cease his pain. Please, please! Someone try and guide me.

Oz1969 Loneliness...
  • replies: 7

After all these years of dealing with all that life throws at me and being bi polar, it's just now that I feel lonely. Suddenly, almost 50, with kids that are reaching teenage stages meaning they do their own stuff a lot, I finally feel what it's lik... View more

After all these years of dealing with all that life throws at me and being bi polar, it's just now that I feel lonely. Suddenly, almost 50, with kids that are reaching teenage stages meaning they do their own stuff a lot, I finally feel what it's like having no friends. Dealing with the (very few) ups and mostly downs mental states on my own and still has to put on a smile at work. Loneliness has lifted it's ugly head and it hurts.

Dunno_anymore Iv got no idea
  • replies: 1

Have no idea what to say, I figure Iv been depressed for years now, always angry or sad, sad or angry, unless I'm drinking, mind you that's not very often i have three children, two of which are living with autism, I share custody of them 50/50 with ... View more

Have no idea what to say, I figure Iv been depressed for years now, always angry or sad, sad or angry, unless I'm drinking, mind you that's not very often i have three children, two of which are living with autism, I share custody of them 50/50 with my ex. She left me for a woman, that was a bit hard to accept but Iv moved past that anger and hurt, after all she's still a great mum I have a decent job that pays all the bills, I just hate most of the judgmental right wing rednecks I'm stuck working with, guys I thought were decent and considered friends have certainly shown their true colours whilst debating the marriage equality survey. id like to quit but if I lose my job I lose my house, my kids need somewhere to live long after I'm gone. i feel lost, I feel stuck, i feel weak, I feel like a failure for being here writing this, I feel like pressing delete and forgetting today

Mumof1 Advice required.
  • replies: 11

My 2nd thread and hope to get some advice. My daughter turning 17 in a month has major depression is on medication and seeing a pyscologist. My issue atm is with her boyfriends influence and her rudeness. I like the boyfriend who suffers from depress... View more

My 2nd thread and hope to get some advice. My daughter turning 17 in a month has major depression is on medication and seeing a pyscologist. My issue atm is with her boyfriends influence and her rudeness. I like the boyfriend who suffers from depression also as they understand each other BUT I'm scared that she relys on him so so much. My DR said let him stay as she got something that makes her happy and stopping suicide thoughts. He has basically moved in. What I'm having a issue with is she listens to only him. He is saying pyscologists aren't helpful didn't help him. I got cranky and said she is staying with hers and you aren't a DR..I NEVER get 2 mins of her time they r joined at the hip. I do remember what young love is like but her rudeness and anger is always directed at her family only.. i have tried talking to her but she yells and says i hate him etc. I try to advise her don't lose your friends they r important. I'm on eggshells as is my mum and sister as we don't know when she will explode. Any advice appreciated thanks.