Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Bennyh916 Need help please
  • replies: 12

Hey guys, i was just wondering if anyone is able to help me try to understand why I am the way I am with my girlfriend. i have treated her like she wasn’t good enough, made her feel unwanted, lied to her, hid things from her, over reacted and got ang... View more

Hey guys, i was just wondering if anyone is able to help me try to understand why I am the way I am with my girlfriend. i have treated her like she wasn’t good enough, made her feel unwanted, lied to her, hid things from her, over reacted and got angry with her questioning my lies to try to cover myself, I’ve pushedbher to breaking point and i know this is not who I wanted to be and I know I can change. I know I don’t like the person I am and I need to change for the better and I will do anything it takes to make sure that I’m not a selfish person who only thinks of myself and be everything she needs, wants and desires i love her so much but I feel like I’ve pushed her to noting breaking point and know she will leave me and never come back. I know I can be a better man for her and not make these mistakes again I cant keep doing these things and I don’t have anyone I can turn to to listen, Ive pushed away anyone who was close to me lost all my friends and I’m lost. I just can’t keep living like this guys. Please help me and any and all advice is taken seriously thanks heaps Ben

MsCJ Feeling lost and lonely
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have joined this as I have nowhere to go and no-one to talk to about the problems I have. Most days I struggle with life, I have a job that leaves me feeling totally drained and exhausted mainly from feeling overwhelmed with my work load and ex... View more

Hi, I have joined this as I have nowhere to go and no-one to talk to about the problems I have. Most days I struggle with life, I have a job that leaves me feeling totally drained and exhausted mainly from feeling overwhelmed with my work load and excluded and isolated from the other staff. Don't say "get another job" I have been trying for nearly 2 years now but as I am on the wrong side of 50 and already employed most employers won't even consider me. Also as I would need to give notice most employers want you to start 'now'. I have gotten short listed and even had some interviews to be passed over due to other applicants being available to start straight away. I have major struggles trying to get my wages to stretch to pay basic living costs, and when I find out that my ex husband who managed to get everything in our divorce has just himself something else it is upsetting. We were married for 23 yrs and I left the marriage as I know if I hadn't I would not be here today and I only managed to leave as my eldest son helped me as I couldn't see any way out I didn't have any money for bond or rent or anything and I didn't feel that I could go to anyone for help. He didn't hit me or be violent at all but now I know that what he did was make me feel useless and everything was my fault. I have no friends and I see on tv they say get out and join groups great idea but most cost money if only for fuel to get there so it's not an option I live in a rural area where the nearest town is 24 ks away. I lost my mum 3 years ago and she was the only person I had to talk to about my problems. My children are nearly all adults now as my youngest will be 18 in early 2018 and I can't talk with them about my problems they just want to be able to come to me with their problems. I am so over being the responsible one their dad barely had anything to do with them and I'm tired. I have struggled all my life to just get by, my mum had a very hard life and we lost her just when she believed her life might get better. Truly there are times when I just don't believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry for the long rant I just thought it might help to get some of it of my chest.

Lillyloopy Help i dont know what to do
  • replies: 2

I told my husband today that i want to seperate. He didnt take it well . He is involving my kids but im trying to protect them from any discussions. He was telling one of them that i dont want him anymore and he has to leave. My son was so upset in f... View more

I told my husband today that i want to seperate. He didnt take it well . He is involving my kids but im trying to protect them from any discussions. He was telling one of them that i dont want him anymore and he has to leave. My son was so upset in floods of tears. Im scared what he is going to do next. He is downstairs drinking and i cant ring any one as i have 2 kids in bed with me and all text help lines are closed. I dont know what to do

Moimoi To pursue a relationship or not??
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I have been friends with this guy for about three years but there’s never been anything between us till recently, where he came over and we ended up making out. The only problem is I have severe depression, anxiety and a food disorder an... View more

Hi everyone, I have been friends with this guy for about three years but there’s never been anything between us till recently, where he came over and we ended up making out. The only problem is I have severe depression, anxiety and a food disorder and I don’t know whether to try and pursue a relationship with him or I really shouldn’t because I’ll wreck it and any friendship we had. He doesn’t have any clue I’ve got the disorders either.

Scaredy Used to be the life of the party
  • replies: 7

I was a total nerd in high school; never had a boyfriend or any love interest. Went to uni and worked out I was actually quite attractive and could get any guy I wanted, and treated them like garbage. I had loads of friends and partied a lot. A few y... View more

I was a total nerd in high school; never had a boyfriend or any love interest. Went to uni and worked out I was actually quite attractive and could get any guy I wanted, and treated them like garbage. I had loads of friends and partied a lot. A few years later I met a nice man and had kids. I could have stayed at home to raise them, but decided to go back to work because I was bored out of my brain and I had no common interests with the other mums at playgroups etc... I have a couple of close friends but have trouble making new friends. Everyone is just so engrossed in their own lives that no one wants to do anything - they are all too busy. I work in a large organisation. Every time there is a social event - like a breakfast or a lunch - I go missing. I just cannot handle being around so many people and I hate the focus of being provided breakfast etc.... There was a recent staff Xmas party and I lied about not being able to attend. No one invites me to anything. I am really a nice person who would do anything for someone. I have been doing random acts of kindness to people. I help people all the time but no one wants to socialise with me out of work. Everything I do is with my husband and kids. I would love to go out occasionally with a friend but it never eventuates. I think I prefer just to stay at home - its easier.

mcl0014 overthinking/insecurities in relationship
  • replies: 8

I'm worried my insecurities is going to get in between my relationship. sometimes I just feel like I'm extra baggage. I feel like I cant get anything right either, like ill never be good enough, and this isnt because of anything he has done or said t... View more

I'm worried my insecurities is going to get in between my relationship. sometimes I just feel like I'm extra baggage. I feel like I cant get anything right either, like ill never be good enough, and this isnt because of anything he has done or said to make me believe this, this is just purely my own personal issues. but what scares me the most is that because I have these insecurities and fears and I don't know how to conquer them, I'm worried it will get in the way of my relationship. I bring up stupid issues, insignificant problems about other girls, which I know is ridiculous because he is faithful and I trust him but its my own thoughts. i get jealous and sometimes to rest my thoughts i feel i need validation from him. i dont like this feeling and well I just don't know what to do or how to stop this overthinking and worry before it could destroy one of the most amazing things in my life. does anyone have any tips or advice?

Dinkidie Can’t understand why
  • replies: 1

Hi I’m Di I can’t understand why I keep have anxiety over things that are t even happening I’m so panicked all the time that something is wrong with my fur babies that he bothers my partner the thought of going to work makes me feel sick and having n... View more

Hi I’m Di I can’t understand why I keep have anxiety over things that are t even happening I’m so panicked all the time that something is wrong with my fur babies that he bothers my partner the thought of going to work makes me feel sick and having no money is not great all the time but since moving so far away from my family I don’t feel connected anymore my partner can’t understand what’s wrong with me I don’t understand I use to have an amazing doctor back in Sydney but since I have moved I havent found a new doctor or made any new friends I ended up in hospital lasts week due to a bad reaction and was publicly shamed at work for it I honestly wished I never moved I had a good support group friends family and a good hour job where my dogs never suffered I am weird for feeling this way?

Lachy21savage Seperation
  • replies: 10

So there's a person in my life who I just get super upset when I can't be around them. They live far away and are kind of like a father figure in a way. I get this feeling of hollowness and deep sadness the days after I leave their presence. recently... View more

So there's a person in my life who I just get super upset when I can't be around them. They live far away and are kind of like a father figure in a way. I get this feeling of hollowness and deep sadness the days after I leave their presence. recently it has gotten worse as I felt kind of physically sick e.g. Loss of appetite. I don't know whether this is just an intense love (not relationship/ sexual but a companionship way) and I that I cannot deal with the fact that I can't be around them. Has anybody had a similar experience?

Aussiegirl92 Being Excluded
  • replies: 5

I work in a military unit, and we basically don't get to have time to meet people outside of work. So everyone at work is friends. Except me. I do have a hobby, I teach kids Taekwon-do. But it doesn't really provide me with a social life. At work bei... View more

I work in a military unit, and we basically don't get to have time to meet people outside of work. So everyone at work is friends. Except me. I do have a hobby, I teach kids Taekwon-do. But it doesn't really provide me with a social life. At work being a part of the unit is super important and I guess I just messed up on the first gathering and now I don't get invited at all. Even my own partner has lied directly to my face about events that are happening that I'm not included in. The last social gathering I was included in was my own birthday. And only my boyfriend turned up. At first I figured maybe it would take time. If I was super nice and helped people with their work and whatever else they might accept me. But now it's been years and every Christmas they have an orphans gathering for everyone who can't see their family due to being interstate and I've never been invited. I'm not even sure if I'll see a friendly face on new years. I am so sad and lonely. And sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. I just wish I could be part of the team that I serve my country with. I couldn't care if I just sat in the back and didn't really be involved I'd just like to be a part of something. I work really hard and I'm passionate about my work but it's just so lonely. Especially because my partner only sees me alone and refuses to go to social gatherings with me and lies to me and goes alone. It feels as though I did something really wrong to hurt someone but I don't remember anything like that. I'm a bit quirky and sometimes I'm loud but I try to be kind and look out for people. I must just not have the right qualities to fit in. At first I thought I'd just be ok with it but at Christmas seeing the Facebook photo of everyone around the table just made me so sad. I wish I had a friend in the world.