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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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No_worries I cant bottle it up anymore.
  • replies: 10

This is the first time using a platform like this. I've never realy been a talker. Im not sure were to start. Maybe ill try from my childhood. I moved around a lot with my mother i never met my father he bailed while my mother was pregnant. Sorta sti... View more

This is the first time using a platform like this. I've never realy been a talker. Im not sure were to start. Maybe ill try from my childhood. I moved around a lot with my mother i never met my father he bailed while my mother was pregnant. Sorta still stings probably shouldn't. My mum was a drunk and very volatile. She had a lot of bf's and i dont blame her for trying to find happiness. But her decision to have drunks for bf's brought its own poison. Ive been chased with an axe. Shot at. Watched her get beaten and the list goes on. at this point as a child in grade four. Snapped ive broken one mans arm antagonized them to attack me instead even drove her drunk ass home once or twice. Obviously i resented her for making me violent and untrusting. I left home at 14 moved in with a lady who was friends with my mother for many years. She helped me through school but that came with its own problems being short tempered and angry didnt help. I was lucky to have a principal who understood my background. I eventually finished in year 10 got a well paying job. But with the money i drank did drugs and met a lot of women but i could never settle. The idea of being in a relationship disgusted me. In saying that i met a girl when i was 8. I eventually started dating her in highschool i wont go into detail but it didnt work out. I eventually spiraled from drink driving and having some bad crashes in and out of lockup from fighting. Fourth dui the judge said i was going to jail. I freaked out and put in for enlistment into the ADF he gave me one last chance. So i joined and thats a whole other story. While i was close to discharge i met a woman who made me feel things i didnt know i could and she never gave herself up even with my A game she was by all definitions a lady. I knew i loved her because i had no interest in other woman and she was on my mind all the time. Ive won awards for marksmanship but after meeting her i began to slip and loose focus. So instead of reinlisting i left. Three months after first date i asked her to marry me she said yes. We have a beautiful baby 4 month old girl now. im very successful in my job. But i now find her not talking to me she is angry sad and everything seems like its failing. I feel like a failure as a husband and father i work long hours and i love my daughter so mutch but im strugling to bond i dont talk about my past and i think all those bottles are breaking or broken im lost and not sure how to fix myself.

Boeing747 Not coping...2 weeks after a break up
  • replies: 5

My partner broke up with me out of the blue after nearly 3,5 years together just over 2 weeks ago. I have been a mess. I got on a flight the very next day to Bali and holed myself up in a hotel room to stop/block out the pain. Somehow I managed to ge... View more

My partner broke up with me out of the blue after nearly 3,5 years together just over 2 weeks ago. I have been a mess. I got on a flight the very next day to Bali and holed myself up in a hotel room to stop/block out the pain. Somehow I managed to get through 2 nights of hell to come back to Australia. He subsequently went to family in the ACT. He got back Wednesday and we have been communicating as we own a unit together and there is much to resolve. Before he got back I made a decision to move into a share house as it was not going to be good for my healing. The last 2 days have hit me badly and I am back to being a crying mess. Yesterday was the first time he actually saw me in such emotional pain. His reaction seemed cold and without feeling. He keeps saying he wants us to emerge from this as friends (and so do I) but I am sore so deep inside and am walking around in an absolute zombie state. My appetite has disappeared and I have lost 6kgs since he broke it off. I am utterly devastated and simply do not know how to cope with the anxiety and feeling of loss/grief. I am sick of hearing the clichés that time will heal your broken heart etc. It sounds empty, hollow and meaningless. I just want to move forward but seriously feel stuck right now.

CNFUZD We need help
  • replies: 1

Hi me and my partner have been through a lot in a year and half...I’ll ove her deeply and I’m sure she feels the same but I/we argue over silly things and I get horrible towards her...I’ve given her hell and I’m getting better but we still seem to ar... View more

Hi me and my partner have been through a lot in a year and half...I’ll ove her deeply and I’m sure she feels the same but I/we argue over silly things and I get horrible towards her...I’ve given her hell and I’m getting better but we still seem to argue...please our relationship need help cause I don’t wanna lose her and what we could have...

So_stuck_and_sad Stuck between long term partner(ex) and new parnter - HELP!
  • replies: 10

I will try keep this short. I was in a relationship for 3.5 years. We were best friends. Things started to change and I had a feeling in my heart that I wasnt happy. We were always aruging, never on the same page and I knew that my feelings were chan... View more

I will try keep this short. I was in a relationship for 3.5 years. We were best friends. Things started to change and I had a feeling in my heart that I wasnt happy. We were always aruging, never on the same page and I knew that my feelings were changing. I wasnt sexually attracted for a long time and he deserves to have someone that wants to have sex with him! I feel like I outgrew him as he can be super immature. I started falling for someone else that was also in an extremely unhappy relationship (worse then mine). He left his partner and I left mine. New partner has been amazing to me. His ex moved on straight away also. My ex wants me back all the time (he doesnt know about the new guy). I dont know if I made a mistake. I know I was so unhappy and he did a lot to push me away but I think I should have tried harder. I love both, but they are both so different and I see my life going in complete different directions with each. I know I would be happy with either one but maybe more happy and suited to my new partner. I feel like my ex is my home, but my new partner is more suited to me. I cant stand the thought of my ex being sad and alone. Everything I promised him I have now taken away from him, (buying a house, marriage, kids etc). The guilt kills me. It consumes me every day so bad sometimes i feel like I cant breath. I go to a psychologist once a week but im still so stuck. I just cannot make a decision. My new partner can feel my guilt and my confusion and it hurts me. He treats me so amazing he doesnt deserve my indecisiveness, guilt etc either. How do I make a decision? Even if I did go back to my ex theres too many lies etc now isnt there? How do I stop this from haunting me for the rest of my life? Or will this be my karma forever now? Sorry for the long sob story

Hippie_Girl High School Reunion
  • replies: 7

Hi wonderful souls, I am reaching out to you all in need of some perspective and guildance. I graduated high school 10 years ago and my reunion is on the 14th Oct. For the past couple of months leading up to this I have felt like a total failure. I h... View more

Hi wonderful souls, I am reaching out to you all in need of some perspective and guildance. I graduated high school 10 years ago and my reunion is on the 14th Oct. For the past couple of months leading up to this I have felt like a total failure. I have a nice life and have achieved some great things but I wished I had done more. I was very happy and enjoying my life up until a few months ago when I started realising now fast the last 10 years have gone and how much more I still wanted to achieve. Although I have decided not to go to my reunion because of these unhappy feelings I am still finding myself feeling worse the closer the date gets. It's like a deadline in my mind. Any assistance or understanding would be appreciated. I feel so silly for being so upset over literally just another day on the calander but I also know this is something that I need to feel and properly work though. Much love, Hippie Girl ✌

Luke_CC Struggling with my girlfriends depression & anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi there, I've been in a relationship with this girl for a few months and its been great, we love each other and are really happy in each other's company. In the last month or two i just feel like her mood is down all the time, she seems really insec... View more

Hi there, I've been in a relationship with this girl for a few months and its been great, we love each other and are really happy in each other's company. In the last month or two i just feel like her mood is down all the time, she seems really insecure of her self and worries a lot about things that would appear insignificant to others. I text her every afternoon asking how her day is and she always responds with something bad that happened to her during the day or just wants to go home and cry, and occasionally says that she just wants this week to "end". I had a brief chat to her the other day about some things and it all stems back to her parents divorce, some other things ive noticed is that she gets really overwhelmed when there are a combination of little life problems. and has begun developing physical symptoms based on stress and anxiety. My sister has gone through a similar thing but rather serious so i can see the parallels between the two and am seriously worried. I just want to know the best way to approach this, as i care for her a lot and dont want to see her hurt herself. Should i speak to her further about it on getting some professional help, talk to her dad first who shes quite close to? Any help if greatly appreciated.

Katherine_A I just don't know what to do anymore..
  • replies: 12

My 23 year old partner has had severely bad depression and anxiety for almost a year now and it is really starting to affect me in a serious way, I've tried to help him manage it and tried to encourage him to seek help but he doesn't see that he has ... View more

My 23 year old partner has had severely bad depression and anxiety for almost a year now and it is really starting to affect me in a serious way, I've tried to help him manage it and tried to encourage him to seek help but he doesn't see that he has a serious problem. I have also dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life and I understand that its hard but he has changed into a different person, he hurts me physically, emotionally and mentally almost everyday but I still stay in hope that I can help him but he doesn't seem to want help. Half way through the year I moved out into my own unit but it didn't help and he just became obbssesed with where I was and what I was doing and I moved back in with him. We are now expecting a child and we are both very happy but he just doesn't understand anything, he yells at me when I'm tired, he yells at me when I throw up or feel sick, he doesn't let me be on my phone in the same room as him. He smashed the window of my car and slit my tyres, I believe it was to have more control over me but it was also in the heat of the moment. Another problem I'm very concerned about, he has been pulling his hair out for almost as long as he has had the other issues and it has become so bad that he won't leave the house, he gets bad anxiety if he leaves the house and he freaks out and I'm the one that has to put up with it. He always paranoid and angry and anxious and I just want him to be the bubbly carefree boy that I fell in love with. Everyday I resent him more and I want to leave but we both come from broken homes and I don't want that for my child but also I don't know if I can go another six months of pregnancy having to put up with all of this, its so overwhelming and stressful and I don't want that for my child, I don't want to wait in hope that he will change and end up disappointed. I just need some advice or someone to talk to that understands what I'm talking about. Thank you for your time..

Peachy06 How to let go
  • replies: 6

Hi I have just ended a two and a half year relationship. He wanted me to change into his idea of perfect and everything I did was wrong. It appears before I actually ended things he had already checked out anyway and two weeks after we ended he alrea... View more

Hi I have just ended a two and a half year relationship. He wanted me to change into his idea of perfect and everything I did was wrong. It appears before I actually ended things he had already checked out anyway and two weeks after we ended he already had a new girlfriend. This is not the first time it's happened to me. I feel disrespected in a way but I guess he couldn't help but move on since he had already checked out. It really hurts and I don't know how to let go and move on myself now. Thanks

Trev79 Why don’t I know??
  • replies: 2

I have truely ruined my relationship with my partner and only have a small window to possibly work this out. How is it that it’s possible to send explicit messages to someone who’s not your partner and yet have no feelings of physically doing anythin... View more

I have truely ruined my relationship with my partner and only have a small window to possibly work this out. How is it that it’s possible to send explicit messages to someone who’s not your partner and yet have no feelings of physically doing anything with them. I love my partner so much yet for some reason I still sent these messages. We have 2 amazing young kids and I risked, and I’m about to loose,all of it over some stupid idea that sending graphically worded messages to another woman. I need to know cause I can’t sleep or eat and I need to somehow try and build some form of trust back with my partner. I don’t know what I would do if she left me and took my children.

Kaykay1994 Confused, sad and I just don’t know what to do anymore.
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I think I’ll just cut right to why I’m here. I’m 23 married and have a 6 month old daughter. My husband and I used to live with my mum while I was pregnant but she kicked us out in January of this year. Being pregnant and out of work my husba... View more

Hi all, I think I’ll just cut right to why I’m here. I’m 23 married and have a 6 month old daughter. My husband and I used to live with my mum while I was pregnant but she kicked us out in January of this year. Being pregnant and out of work my husband was the only one providing for us and so we were basically homeless until a real estate helped us out and we got a rental property ... fast forward 9 months I had my daughter in April and my mum decides she wants to be apart of my life again.. ofcourse it’s only because I had a baby, her first grandchild. Me being me I just let it be and went on with it. So lately my husband and I are hitting a rough patch with financial problems, and we mentioned it to my mum who then mentioned we move back to her place. Naturally.. I am scared sh*tless as you can understand! She threw us out of her house when I was 6 months pregnant and 4 times prior to that. And I told her my stance on it and how I felt about it all and she says ‘ oh it won’t be that way, I promise I’ve changed ‘ now something in me wants to believe her. But, I don’t. Today, it came up again when she came over to visit and she got really defensive when I told her how I felt and how I think things will go down if we move back in with her again, she got so angry she blamed it all on me and my husband and left the house. I was upset and called my husband and he got angry at me. Now I’m just lost I’m sad, I hate myself. But I don’t let it get in the way of my daughter I feel so bad. She doesn’t need this and she doesn’t deserve to see me sad. Yet I’m in this house with no one to talk too because I don’t have anyone. And I just don’t know where to let it out. I don’t even know how to let my words out I hope someone does understand how I’m feeling and has some or any type of advice for me. Thank you!