Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Peppercorn67 In a lonely well and can never find a soul mate
  • replies: 3

Hi, just new here , fifty year old male .. have tried all my life to make close friends but never good enough to have a soul mate or first friend , I hate how I look and how I stuff up friendships , do I just give up and accept I can never be loved e... View more

Hi, just new here , fifty year old male .. have tried all my life to make close friends but never good enough to have a soul mate or first friend , I hate how I look and how I stuff up friendships , do I just give up and accept I can never be loved etc

Hawka1980 Fiancee walked out. We share 3 year old
  • replies: 3

3 weeks ago my fiancee left saying she was unhappy. Hooked up with someone else within 1 day. Swore on our daughter there was nobody else when she left but confirmed she was with someone when i asked her a week after she left (originally she needed t... View more

3 weeks ago my fiancee left saying she was unhappy. Hooked up with someone else within 1 day. Swore on our daughter there was nobody else when she left but confirmed she was with someone when i asked her a week after she left (originally she needed time) but hooked up without even properly breaking up but wasn't even feeling bad about it. Said it was a random but find that hard to believe. We have a 3 yr old daughter, were trying for another one in September.. had arguments for 2 weeks prior to break up. She looked down and sad during this time but never thought she'd leave. Left me blind sided. We work in same building so see each other every day and during daughter drop offs on weekends. Conversation is non existent. She won't engage in Conversation, says it's now "her time" to live. She has changed her appearance, goes out every time she hasn't our daughter, and posts glammed up selfies on social media. Is up to all hours when previously was in bed early. Her current behaviours were not present in the 5.5 yrs we were together. It's as if she is free and does not care she has split the family unit. I am Having a hard time myself functioning from thinking 6 weeks ago we were getting married and having a second child to co parenting with someone who has totally shut me out and me seeing my daughter half the week. Don't know how I've coped and struggling to accept the person I loved isn't that person anymore. Anyone give me some ideas how I can move forward and get closure with someone I need to deal with for years to come bc of our daughter. It's as if I was living with a totally different person to this version of the last 3 weeks. Ps - she moved back with family and no longer live together

TLC2017 Parenting with a partner who’s changed
  • replies: 2

Hi, I’m new to this thread and would love to get some help as I really am struggling with who to talk to about my current situation. Ive been with my husband for ten years and we have two young children together. When my partner and I met, I never wa... View more

Hi, I’m new to this thread and would love to get some help as I really am struggling with who to talk to about my current situation. Ive been with my husband for ten years and we have two young children together. When my partner and I met, I never wanted children but he always did. when my daughter was born he was a great father and always loved spending time with her but as she’s gotten older he has lost interest and barely speaks to her now. My son was the same, he is two years old and it is really hard to get him to play or communicate with him much. The start of this year our family moved into an area where it can be difficult to get work. My husband was unemployed for a little while and it effected his confidence. A few months ago my husband got a job 4 hours away from us and now he is only home on the weekends. One weekend when I was at work and My husband had the children, he left my son in the bath on his own to go listen to music and has also left him out the front in the car on his own while asleep, My sister luckily was home that day and made it very clear to him that it was not alright. There are several other situations where he has not thought properly and put the children in potentially dangerous situations. Over the last 6 months my husband has increasingly became angrier and I am struggling to communicate with him. He apologises and says he will try do better but it only lasts a week then he is back to putting in minimal effort. My husband has adhd and will use it as a reason a lot of the time as to why he does things a certain way but I can’t accept that anymore. Should I divorce him and try raise my children on my own? Or should I keep pushing him and the kids together and hope they will bond? It is breaking my heart to see the man I married and started a family with treat our children this way. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Dan049 Separation, can the kids cope?
  • replies: 4

Hi. I am a 43 year old male and have been married for 20 years and have 3 bright, wonderful and caring children. There ages are 16, 14, & 11. My wife and I are not close and I partly take responsibility for part of that. I was diagnosed 13 years ago ... View more

Hi. I am a 43 year old male and have been married for 20 years and have 3 bright, wonderful and caring children. There ages are 16, 14, & 11. My wife and I are not close and I partly take responsibility for part of that. I was diagnosed 13 years ago with Anxiety & Depression and find it hard to be close with anyone. My father left me as a child (3) and my step father was physically and emotionally abusive so I grew up being more comfortable In my own company I feel that i would personally benefit emotionally by seperating however I feel that I cannot put the “safe” and “secure”life of my children at risk. Am I right to put the kids ahead of myself? I have done it for the past 5-8 years but it is getting really hard to do. They are not far off moving out and feel that they will cope a bit better the older they are. We have no sex life at all and to be honest I do not really want one with her anymore, she prefers to fall asleep on the couch EVERY night rather than to come to bed and I am now really happy with that scenario We are asset rich but cash poor so there is a huge financial implications on my decisions which is also impacted by my a & d. I thank you all in advance for any advice. Cheers Dan.

Mcrates Unreasonable neighbour causing Anxiety...
  • replies: 7

I live in a 2 house on 1 block size situation. For 9 months I have endured 2 large dogs barking loudly and constantly... My house wall is her courtyard fence line.This has been really tough but finally She has stopped them. She owns her place...I ren... View more

I live in a 2 house on 1 block size situation. For 9 months I have endured 2 large dogs barking loudly and constantly... My house wall is her courtyard fence line.This has been really tough but finally She has stopped them. She owns her place...I rent mine with a AAA tenant rating. Today her male partner was playing music so loud I couldnt hear myself think. I messaged her to ask him just to turn it down a bit... Well that was it! She makes me out to be a complaining thing and that they have a right to do whatever they want when they want. She has no empathy towards me as a neighbour whatsoever. I live quietly and respectfully. Today I rang a trusted friend to come around and speak with her... The conversation was taped... It was evident that she thinks that I am the problem not her. Subsequently I am experiencing awful anxiety. Is their such a thing a neighbour abuse? She is 30ish and I am 54. I have 2 university degrees and do volunteer work in my community. I have 1 adult son who is married. I dont want to leave here as it is close to my work. I have an excellent relationship with my Landlord... I have been calm and reasonable towards my neighbourand, not confronting... She has never said sorry about the enduring noise. Its as though its my fault... Gaslighting! She is a real little Miss! What would others do in my situation...? I cant even go into my garden now as I become very anxious and start shaking etc. It seems all so unfair and so unnecessary. Thank you

Elmo85 Newly separated and feeling lost
  • replies: 4

So my ex gusband and I have seperated for good and has left me financially struggling and now i feel i cant do anything right... Ive had to have an AVO against him as well and my little boy is so lost as well ... sees mum crying and guves cuddles and... View more

So my ex gusband and I have seperated for good and has left me financially struggling and now i feel i cant do anything right... Ive had to have an AVO against him as well and my little boy is so lost as well ... sees mum crying and guves cuddles and kisses and tells me it's ok we will be ok.. I just wish i had my sons enthusiasm as I know he's right but just feel so lost and on my own and like no body cares or even wants to listen as they're always busy...

mcphee Am I being selfish or being taken for a ride?
  • replies: 5

I told my partner about 6 months ago that I had gone to my GP for a mental health assessment, the result of which was a diagnosis of moderate to severe depression. I told him that the next step for me was to go and see a psychologist. In the time sin... View more

I told my partner about 6 months ago that I had gone to my GP for a mental health assessment, the result of which was a diagnosis of moderate to severe depression. I told him that the next step for me was to go and see a psychologist. In the time since that brief discussion he has never asked me anything about my mental health, no questions about my appointments, has not asked me how I am going. I asked him once if he would come to a session with me and he made it quite clear that that was not going to happen. I have discovered that a friend of his on facebook deactivated her account (just to have a social media break) and my partner was so concerned for her that he sent her a message with his contact details offering himself to talk to anytime she needed. He also has another friend who has had uterine cancer and he messages her asking how she's going, I guess he offers to be that friend to talk to with her as well. Am I being unfair by resenting this help that he offers his friends because I feel that he isn't giving me any support?

Lee65 Menopausal partners.
  • replies: 2

Any current threads on advice, support for partners of menopausal women? Everywhere I look all I see advice on how to support & what not to do when your partner is going through menopause. I haven't found anything yet to help me understand or deal wi... View more

Any current threads on advice, support for partners of menopausal women? Everywhere I look all I see advice on how to support & what not to do when your partner is going through menopause. I haven't found anything yet to help me understand or deal with my feelings. I do everything I possibly can to help, I'm well read on the subject, however I still feel like I'm the problem whenever my wife gets upset, sleeps badly or has anxiety. I feel terribly ashamed when I get angry or resentful. The poor lass is going through hell.

ChronicLearner Help Needed - Boyfriend with Depression
  • replies: 21

Hi All, I need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we have just moved into a new place. We have a puppy and a cat together and have been mostly happy for the 4 years with a few ups and downs as all relationships have. My partne... View more

Hi All, I need some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we have just moved into a new place. We have a puppy and a cat together and have been mostly happy for the 4 years with a few ups and downs as all relationships have. My partner has suffered from depression for the last 10 years and it hasnt been the most well managed either. He recently just told me he had been diagnosed with biploar as well. In the last 6 months, my partner has changed friendship groups and I have noticed more of a change in him such as, prioritising them, doing drugs often and going away on boys weekends. He told me out of the blue this week he wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore, as in our lives together but he still loves me, he just wants to make sure he knows 100% sure he wants our life. I was completely shocked as this was so out of the blue. i feel like I am in limbo at the moment, do I wait for him to know he wants us 100% or do I leave assuming he doesn’t want us. I’m so lost and upset with what to do. Any advice or extra information needed, please let me know

Heartbroken_Mum Heartbroken
  • replies: 3

My teenage boys don't want to have a relationship with me due to me leaving their dad nearly a year ago (they decided to stay with him) they blame me for our family failing and I feel heartbroken I have tried to respect their wishes but it kills me n... View more

My teenage boys don't want to have a relationship with me due to me leaving their dad nearly a year ago (they decided to stay with him) they blame me for our family failing and I feel heartbroken I have tried to respect their wishes but it kills me not being in their lives when I had an amazing close relationship with them from the minute they were born I miss them so much and feel so guilty for leaving them any advice appreciated